You and I

“Maybe this is a bad idea.” I’m gathering up my things before I leave set for the day. “Why? Sidney invited you to the game and you told him that you were going to bring a friend.” Emma is obviously in full support of the plan. “I don’t think Sid was expecting this.” She scoffs. “If you ask me he deserves it. He is the one who’s still engaged and screwing around on the side and lying about it.” “On Sunday he said he wanted to explain something.” I start but Emma cuts me off. “Cheaters always want to explain something. Don’t feel bad about this, please.” Emma has a point I suppose and really I don’t owe anything to Sidney. “Fine. Do you want to grab breakfast with us tomorrow?” “Of course we need to catch up.” Emma and I leave my trailer and walk towards my car. “Do you need anything else?” “Nope, I’m fine. I’m going to stop by my place and then head right to the airport to pick him up.” I stop halfway in my car. “Really, you think this will be fine?” “Stop worrying about it.” I drive away and realize that Emma never answered my last question. At home I throw on leggings and high boots before I grab a cami and a sweater. My ensemble looks good, I look hot and it’s not too dressy. By the time I get to the airport I’m positive this is a bad idea, but I would feel bad if I canceled. And then I can’t worry about it anymore because I see him walking through baggage claim, searching for me. I wave and he picks up the pace. He wraps me in a hug and then scans the crowd nearby. “I thought you were going to wait in the car it would be safer.” I shrug. “I’m much more low-key now, you know that.” Playfully I hit his shoulder. “Besides you don’t work for me anymore, Jacob.” “Well, I care about you. Sue me.” My former bodyguard and friend gives me a glare and I can’t help, but laugh. “Happy belated birthday by the way.” “Thanks, I’m glad you decided to visit for a day or two.” We walk out of the airport arm in arm and head to my car. “Jesus, it’s cold for the second week of March.” Jacob looks on with disdain at the piles of snow. I shrug, “You get used to it I suppose.” “And how has it been, being back here?” The question is loaded and Jacob knows it. I choose to ignore the lead and focus on my professional work. “Great really. The cast and the crew are awesome. I’m glad I’m back.” He pauses and I wonder if Jacob will ask. “And how’s your dad?” “Doing a little better I think. It’s really week by week.” I try to put a positive spin on an otherwise unfortunate situation. “And have you run into Sidney?” Ah, there it is. It was only a matter of time before he asked. Shrugging I attempt to sound unfazed. “You know we’ve run into each other here and there. Nothing too exciting happened.” “What did you do?” Jacob has always been able to read me better than anyone. When I don’t answer I feel his gaze intensify. “Fine, don’t tell me. You better hope we don’t see him though. I still have to kick that fucker’s ass.” See, even though Jacob knows I broke it off with Sidney he still blames Sid. According to Jacob anyone who was lucky enough to have me should have tried harder to keep me. As if Jacob needed another reason to hate Sidney. I had hoped that some of the animosity had died down, apparently I was wrong. “Well, you’re in luck.” “What?” “We have tickets to the game, from that fucker himself.” It’s quiet and I wonder if Jacob didn’t understand me. “Are you kidding me?” “Nope.” “Well tonight just got more interesting.” “Just no physical altercations, please?” He chuckles. “Brooklyn, you know that I can hurt him without leaving any physical evidence.” I brake unnecessarily hard and watch as Jacob has to steady himself against the dash. “I mean it, Jacob. Let’s all be civilized, okay? Besides he’s engaged now.” I’m impressed with my ability to say that last phrase calmly. “And he’s sleeping with you?” I gasp. “How did you…” “I didn’t, until now.” He sighs. “Really, Brooklyn? I thought you were smarter than this.” God, I really don’t want a lecture right now. “I’m a big girl. I can make my own decisions.” “Even if they’re the wrong ones?” I find a parking spot and park the car at Consol. “As an American it is my god-given right to be wrong about everything and still believe I’m right, so yes.” I stick my tongue out. “Now let’s watch some hockey.” Jacob drags his feet through the parking lot. “You know, Sidney might get hurt.” I mention in a sing-songy voice and my old friend’s pace increases dramatically. Standing outside in the line for will call with a hat pulled fairly low I’m having an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. This could be two years ago, it’s not and the ache in my heart reminds me of that. I approach the booth and am startled to see that the same teller is there. I greet her with a smile, when she notices me her smile fades considerably. Blandly she asks for my name. “Donahue?” She checks and I wait anxiously. “Sorry, nothing under that name.” But she doesn’t sound sorry at all. I wince and can’t believe that I’m going to have to do this. “How about under Crosby?” None-too-happily she checks and returns with the tickets and passes for the locker room. I reach out to grab them but she pulls away. “Now you listen, I don’t know why you’re back and I don’t want to know. You’ve already hurt our boy once and you better not let it happen again. You weren’t here to pick up the pieces you left, but we were and the fans were. You stay away from him.” I’m taken aback and Jacob looks at me with confusion. Her words are harsh and unexpected, but they tickle a thought that I realize is true. He was miserable after I left and it’s all my fault. I can’t seem to find words to defend myself so Jacob grabs the tickets for me and leads me away. Once inside he scrutinizes me. “That was a little crazy.” I force a laugh. “Yeah, it was. “Wait, you don’t agree with her do you?” Before I can answer two guys approach us and from their gaze it’s obvious they know who I am. “Brooklyn Donahue?” the bigger guy, in a Crosby jersey addresses me loudly and a few people turn. Jacob instinctually stands partly in front of me for protection. “You shouldn’t be here. You’re not a fan. You’re just some Hollywood whore.” Jacob steps forward. “You want to say that again?” The guy smartly backs down, but looks at me with venom. “Go back to Philly with your Flyer-loving sister. We don’t want you here.” His friend agrees of course. I don’t respond I merely turn to Jacob. “Let’s go sit down.” I pull him away and can vaguely hear the pair yelling more things as well walk away. “Are you sure you want to be here?” “People are idiots. I’m sure they’re the exception not the rule.” I frown looking at the tickets. Hopefully they are somewhere inconspicuous. I groan. “What?” “We have great seats.” I buy some popcorn for Jacob who hasn’t eaten yet and some candy for me and then we find our seats. They couldn’t be better, right up against the glass and near the goal. And it happens to be the side that the Pens warm up on, great. Jacob and I make small talk for a little before I hear a knock on the glass right in front of us. I look up and there is my favorite Russian, Geno. He waves and motions for me to take a photo. I wave back and hand my phone to Jacob who happily obliges. Of course our photo attracts the attention of other spectators and I quickly regain my seat, just in time to see James Neal push Geno away. “So how mad is Sidney going to be when he finds out I’m here?” Just then I notice the Captain across the ice; he is staring at us. “Judging by that look, I’m going to go with pretty damn pissed.” ****** Even though we win, I’m pissed when we get back to the locker room. I throw my gear in my stall and sit trying to calm down a little. Most of the guys just let me be, but Flower waddles over. “What the hell?” “I didn’t play great, that’s all.” “Bullshit. What’s really wrong?” “Brooklyn brought Jacob. Do you remember him? The bodyguard that was in love with her?” “Oh.” I snort. “Oh, is right. I can’t believe she brought him of all people.” “And why would that be a problem?” There is a strange glint in Flower’s eyes. “Because Brooklyn is…” I break off trying to decide how to finish the sentence. “Brooklyn is…God I don’t know. But what I do know is that seeing her with him pissed me off.” Our goalie chuckles. “You want Brooklyn back Sid, it’s as simple as that.” “Well that ship sailed, a long time ago.” “Have you talked about it with her?” I don’t respond and that answer is enough. “This jealousy is not healthy and possibly unnecessary. You never know maybe she wants the same thing.” “The only thing I know is that I want her to myself.” “You want to date her?” His question makes me pause. Do I want to date Brooklyn again? Could I? She broke my heart and wounded my pride almost two years ago. Could I subject myself to the possibility of heartbreak again? “What if she leaves again?” The sadness in my voice catches Flower off-guard. He sits down and lowers his voice. “You loved her right?” I nod. “And she loved you?” “I thought she did.” “She did, we all saw it.” Our goalie looks around before continuing. “Build on that then. Take this opportunity to make her see that the two of you can do this. When she was in your life you were, shit I don’t know, you were just better. You can’t tell me that she isn’t or that you two aren’t worth a second chance.” I let his words sink in. would I get back together with Brooklyn today if she wanted? No, but I want to work at it. Knowing her and being with her were some of the best months of my life. And I haven’t stopped missing her. “Okay, I’m going to try.” He grins toothily. “One last piece of advice.” “Yeah?” “Try to spend some time together with your clothes on.” His last comment dissolves any tension and I try vainly to look pissed. But I’m just excited, excited for a new challenge. If I approach repairing our relationship like a contest, it will be a piece of cake. I always win. Tonight I’m lucky enough to escape the press so I leave the locker room second or third and head over to the family suite. I wonder if Brooklyn and Jacob even decided to stay after the game. When I walk in I see that they did indeed stay. They are talking to Vero and Carol-Lynn when Brooklyn looks up and notices me. Like usual, she takes my breath away. I smile and am rewarded with a smile back. Vero and Carol-Lynn walk away as I approach. Brooklyn even pulls me into a hug. “Great game.” I shrug. “Could’ve been better.” She laughs and lightly smacks my shoulder. “Over-critical still, somethings never change.” When I pull away I turn to Jacob. “You remember Jacob, right?” We shake hands and Jacob squeezes rather tightly. “Good to see you man.” “You too, good game.” The three of us are silent and I rack my brain for any conversation topic. “You two have plans for the evening?” Hopefully any jealousy stays out of my voice. They glance at each other and shrug. “Not really. You guys going out to celebrate?” “Nah.” The guys are of course, but I don’t want to. I want to be alone with Brooklyn. “Jacob, did you ever get a tour of Consol?” He looks confused. “No, I don’t think so.” “Perfect.” I motion to someone out in the hallway. “Michael will show you around. Some of the guys said they wanted to say hello to Brooklyn.” My excuse to get Brooklyn alone is weak but Jacob plays along anyways. He sends a cautionary glance to me and then allows himself to be escorted out of the family suite. I nod towards the door and Brooklyn follows. “Wild guess here, but none of your teammates want to say hi to me.” I don’t answer her instead I pull her into our weight center and flip on a light. “I can’t believe you brought him.” “What’s the problem?” She sticks a hand on her hip. “He’s in love with you!” She scoffs. “So? You have no claim over me Sidney.” I groan. “That isn’t the point.” “So you split us up just so you could yell at me?” She moves toward the door. “Goodnight Sid.” I slide in front of her. “Please, I need to talk to you.” Her blue eyes carefully study my face. I don’t know what she’s looking for, but whatever she finds satisfies her. Sighing my former lover sits on a weight bench. “About what?” “Us.” “Oh.” She swallows. “Uh, what about us?” “Well, I said we were going to talk and since then we haven’t been the best at communicating.” She scoffs. “Depends on your form of communicating.” Damn, this is going to be harder than I thought. I try to remember my conversation with Flower earlier. “Look, all I’m saying is that I want to work on us. To put this all behind us and I don’t think we’ve gone about that the best way.” I’m not really sure if my last thought made any sense. “So, you don’t want to sleep together anymore?” Brooklyn doesn’t look at me when she asks this. “God no! I mean unless you want to stop.” I take another deep breath. “I just think we should you know talk more too and hang out besides in bed.” She is biting her lip and I would give anything to be able to kiss her right now. “So you want to date?” “Not exactly. I want to pre-date.” Hopefully she won’t realize I made this up on the spot. I have no idea what ‘pre-dating’ is. “Pre-dating?” Brooklyn looks a little confused and I try to nod confidently. Maybe she will blindly accept this. “Basically we would see each other exclusively without any labels or expectations.” Couldn’t have said it better myself. “Exactly.” She stands and walks towards me. “What brought this all on?” “Honestly, seeing you with Jacob pissed me off.” She laughs. “It shouldn’t of. We’ve had this conversation a million times. Jacob and I are nothing more than friends.” “Besides that weekend at the beach.” “I’m sorry!” Her voice rises. “Someone just broke my heart in half the week prior. I was feeling a little vulnerable.” I step closer to her and match my voice. “Well maybe if that someone’s girlfriend hadn’t hidden her drug abuse…” She throws her hands up. “Are you still mad about that? I apologized profusely, really it had abso-fucking-lutely nothing to do with you!” We are yelling loudly and for a second I’m concerned that someone will hear us. “Of course it affected me. We were dating! And you lied to me and kept things from me which was apparently a habit of yours.” “What do you mean by that?” She asks harshly and I recoil slightly. “Let’s list all the things you kept from me, shall we?” I hold out my hand. “You didn’t know how to skate at the holiday party…” “Really?” She scoffs and I glare before she motions for me to continue. “You didn’t know how to skate, Christmas with your family, the drugs, Jacob,” My voice rises higher and higher with each item on the list. “The stalker, the party in L.A., the strippers at your sister’s bachelorette party…” “Hey! I told you about those!” “Drunkenly does not count!” I retaliate. And then I glare at her before finishing the list in a yell. “Let’s not forget the biggest omission from you. You never once told me you had doubts about us, not until you left.” She’s quiet and so am I. I can’t even look at her, I feel like shit. Why can’t we just discuss this without yelling? We are chest to chest and I look down at her. She’s not crying, but her body is tense. I’ve been away from her for too long to tell if it’s anger or sadness. “There’s one more thing.” ‘’Yeah?” “Duper told me you wanted kids, kids with me.” She gasps and finally a tear rolls down her cheek. I can’t stand it anymore. I pull her into my chest and wrap my arms around her. She fits perfectly like she always has. Underneath my arms I can feel her shaking with unshed tears. I wish she felt comfortable enough to cry around me I really do. I rest my chin on the top of her head. “What the hell happened to us?” Brooklyn pulls away, wiping tears from her eyes. “I don’t know, but I hate it. I’m so sick of being miserable, Sidney. And I know it’s my fault, but this past month or so with you has been the best month I’ve had in a while. When I’m with you I’m happier that hasn’t changed, not one bit.” Her words bring a smile to my face but more questions. If she was so happy why did she leave? I’m emotionally drained though and all I want to do is kiss her. So I do. I lean down and place a gently kiss against her lips. It’s slow and sensual, begging for forgiveness and promising redemption. She sighs into me and I pull her tighter. This just feels right. I pull away. “So, pre-dating?” She laughs. “I know you just made it up, but yeah. Pre-dating.” She frowns. “But what about Grace?” “We are over. I already told you that.” “There was an article in the Pittsburgh paper about her shopping for wedding dresses two weeks ago.” I tilt her chin up to look me in the eyes. “I know you haven’t been around me in a while, but surely you must know that I would never cheat on my woman, ever. Since I’ve seen you in my kitchen in January you’ve absorbed my every thought. Apparently I need to reiterate to Grace what I meant though.” “Perhaps.” And then she leans up to kiss me again. Before we can get much further Jacob walks in the door. “I had a hell of time finding you guys.” He looks at us. We are still intertwined and Brooklyn’s face is stained with tears. “Everything all right?” I smile. “It’s going to be.” He looks at Brooklyn for confirmation, which pisses me off, but she nods and Jacob seems satisfied. “We have to get back to your place, Elena is going to call soon.” “Elena?” I ask. “My new wife.” Jacob replies and I send a dark glare towards Brooklyn. She shrugs and I can tell it’s a struggle to keep a smile off her face. “Jacob is newly married, didn’t I mention that?” “No, I don’t think you did.” That little minx was playing with me this whole time. I can’t find it in me to be upset though, not with her in my arms like this again. “Whoops.” She laughs and I can’t help but laugh too. We disentangle and I walk them to Brooklyn’s car. “Thanks for the tickets, pre-boyfriend.” “Maybe this whole pre-dating thing will catch on.” I wink. “Doubt it.” She climbs into the car and I walk around to say goodbye to Jacob. We shake hands once again. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on between you two now, but if you hurt her…” I cut him off. “I’m not going to hurt her. Besides she’s not your concern anymore.” His eyes narrow. “That is the most wonderful young woman I’ve ever met she will ALWAYS be my concern. You fight for a girl like that and you didn’t. This is your last fucking chance Crosby.” “Again, I’m not going to hurt her. She is safe with me.” “You better hope so.” He gets into the car and the two drive away. I sigh watching them go. My mind can’t even begin to process what happens, but for the most part it feels good. Tonight was the step in the right direction. On the way home I remember that I need to call Grace and remind her that we are over. I look at the clock though and decide I can put it off for one more day.

Notes