Hopeless Wanderer

Sidney walked into the Penguins locker room at Consol the following morning and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Beau and Rob already there. He thought he was the first player to arrive and suddenly he realized they showed up early in anticipation of meeting Carrie.

"Sorry boys, Carrie wasn't feeling well so I told her to stay home," Sid said by way of greeting. He walked over to his locker and began changing into his practice gear set out by the equipment team.

"Oh that's okay, Sunshine here thought practice was at 9 so we've been here for over an hour. I took a nap out in the lounge," Rob explained from his stall.

Sid chuckled and shook his head in disbelief. He quickly changed into gym shorts and a t-shirt, threw on his running shoes and grabbed his phone and earbuds. His next destination was Jen's office. He needed to talk to her about what happened the night before.

"Hey Jen," Sid called when he saw her walking in the opposite direction of the locker room. She spun on her heals and smiled at Sidney.

"Hey, what's up?" She asked as she glanced down at her iPad, a spreadsheet open of things to do that day.

"Can we talk for a minute? It's about Carrie," Sid said is a hushed tone.

"Oh, sure. Let's go to my office." Jen didn't seem to question Sid anymore, in fact she took him straight back to her office and closed the door.

"What happened?" She asked as soon as Sid was sitting down. She hadn't even gotten into her own seat before she was questioning him.

"She had a nightmare," Sid said.

Jen waited a minute to see if Sid would elaborate and when he didn't she started, "Did she tell you what it was about?"

"No. I told her everything was okay and she said that it wasn't and broke down crying."

Jen could tell that Sidney was spooked by Carrie's actions. "Did she tell you anything about her day yesterday?"

"No."

Jen decided it was best to put it all out there."She chose to settle and take the money."

"What? Why?" Sidney was utterly confused by this.

"She just wants to move on from it all. Put it all behind her. She doesn't have to be at the criminal trial, so why draw this out?" She shrugged her shoulders at Sidney.

"How much?" He asked.

"I don't know. She didn't tell me. And I doubt she ever will. She said she wants to just donate it all away though."

Sidney didn't know how to respond to this information. He leaned back in his chair and stared at the front of Jen's desk covered in various drawings from players' children. And for a fleeting moment he wondered whether his hypothetical children would ever do the same.

"Listen Sid, keep an eye on her. Right now, I mean. Taking the settlement makes her feel like she is closing that chapter of her life. Which is probably why she had that nightmare. What did you do?" Jen leaned across the desk top as she said this to him, crossing her fingers together.

"I heard her screaming so I ran to her room to wake her up. Then I climbed into bed with her and let her cry on my shoulder."

Jen sat up and leaned back in her seat. Shock was etched all over her face. "Wow, I didn't imagine you doing that. She let you?"

"Yeah." He shrugged, not seeing what was the big deal.

"That's huge Sid," she said quietly.

"Why?"

"Kath told me whenever Carrie had nightmares when she first lived with them after the accident she wouldn't let anyone touch her."

Sid thought about this and then back to a previous conversation he had with Carrie. He wondered if he should share it with Jen, and in the end decided it was for the best. "She made a comment one day about how she could talk to me about everything. But couldn't talk to her family because they saw her at her worst."

"Hmm, maybe you're her salvation from all of this?"

"Maybe, and maybe she's mine." Sidney looked out the the frosted glass towards the hallway, avoiding eye contact with his PR director as he considered the meaning behind what he just said.

*****

Carrie paced around the in-ground pool contemplating whether she had a job still or not. She managed to sleep through her alarm, wake to find Sidney had left for practice without her. She knew he would be gone most of the day as he and his teammates prepared to take on the Rangers in the second round of playoffs.

She continued to walk around the pool as she considered everything that happened in the course of the last twenty-four hours. Only two hours ago a FedEx driver delivered a small envelope with a check addressed to her worth more money than she ever dreamed of seeing in a lifetime. An hour before that she woke up, slightly disoriented and worried about not fulfilling her duties. She remember crying on Sidney's bare chest, possibly the most intimate she had been with a man since before the mess of her life in the last year.

She looked down at her reflection in the pool water and noted she was in desperate need of a hair cut and style. Maybe some highlights to emphasize her dirty blonde hair. She could use an eyebrow thread and possibly some clothes that fit. She had lost a good twenty pounds over the last year and now her clothes hung off her.

She checked her phone for the time and decided she first needed to do something with the money she received. It wasn't the full amount. No one could justify writing a check for nearly 15 million dollars. She would receive a series of five payments over the next five years for 3 million each. Her first stop was the bank, then to the mall to try to do something about her appearance.

*****
Sidney arrived home around 5 to see that his Tahoe was missing. He knew he gave Carrie a spare key, but he hoped she hadn't gone in search of him. He was willing to bet she had forgotten that he told her to stay in bed while he went into the city for the day. He pulled out his phone and pulled her name up from his contacts list to call her.

"Hello?" She sounded almost cheerful when she answered.

"Hey, where are you?" He asked.

"Oh I ran out to do a couple errands. I'm sorry I slept late today. So I am trying to get some of these menial tasks done for you so you don't have to worry."

"Alright, just wondered where you disappeared to."

"I have groceries in the truck so I'm on my way home now. Will you help me unload? I stocked up heavy since you'll be starting your next round and your parents will be back soon."

"Yep, I'll wait for the buzzer."

"Alright, see ya." And the line went dead. Sid looked down at himself and all of a sudden had an urge to change into something a bit nicer than gym clothes. He had showered at the arena, but he decided a change of attire was in order. And as he was finishing up he heard the buzz indicating a car entering his property.

He hurried down the stairs, a bit of a kick in his step, and dashed towards the garage. As he cut through the kitchen he stopped dead in his tracks. Carrie was already in there with her back to him, her hair styled in long wavy layers and he couldn't help but notice how her white shorts fit snug against her butt. Her long legs showing a bit of color from her time spent by the pool. When she spun around he was blown away even more. She was wearing makeup to accent her chocolate brown eyes. Her eyes stood out in a way he couldn't explain. He just knew she looked incredible, and he liked it.

"Hey, I left the cases of Gatorade in the truck and Oh! I bought a watermelon. I'll come with you," she didn't even give him a chance to compliment her.

He followed her out to the garage, grabbed a case of Gatorade to put in the fridge in the kitchen then stopped as she began to unload the groceries. He couldn't help but stare at her and how she was completely transformed. He always knew she was pretty, but standing there she seemed downright gorgeous. He decided to play it cool with her and subtly acknowledge the change in appearance.

"Nice hair." 'Smooth Crosby' he instantly thought to himself. Then he thought why the hell he was finding this woman attractive when he pays her to basically grocery shop and do his laundry and make sure he is awake and off to where ever he needs to be. But he couldn't deny that over the course of the last month he was finding it harder and harder to deny that she was one of his closest friends now.

"Oh, thanks. I needed to get a cut, I was tired of wearing it up so much." Carrie ran her fingers over the silky strands and smiled bashfully before turning to the task of putting away the food she bought.

"You look really nice. New outfit?"

"Yeah. I got some new summery clothes. Lots of sales happening since the start of summer is quickly approaching!"

"You're wearing makeup." Sid leaned against the counter across from Carrie.

"You're very observant," she said with a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"I'm not used to you wearing makeup." He ignored her tone and continued anyway.

"I...didn't own any before today." She shrugged and continued her task in front of her, avoiding eye contact.

"Like ever?"

"Like since I moved to Pittsburgh. But getting a dose of what the wags look like I figured I better be the best looking personal assistant to ever enter that arena." Sid laughed and took some of the produce sorted on the counter and placed it in the fridge.

"How was practice?"

"It was good. I'm going to get the rest of the stuff out of the truck." Sid walked away, glancing back over his shoulder as Carrie, making certain it was really her.

*****
"What do you think?" Carrie asked Kath via text. She had taken a photo of her little makeover and sent it to her sister to get some sort of approval.

"You look incredible! Follow up to the mani/pedi I see?" Her sister responded.

"You know it. Watching Sidney make me dinner. He's acting weird towards me."

"He probably didn't realize how incredibly beautiful you truly are!"

"Uh, boss there."

"He can still take notice of how hot you are. Glad to finally see the old you again. I've missed her."

Carrie smiled at the last message her sister sent and tucked the phone away before Sidney finished making dinner. Something he volunteered to do since she had gone grocery shopping. And she wasn't going to miss the chance to have someone cook for her, even if he was just making spaghetti.

"How's it going over there?"

"Great. Almost done. Want to get some plates out? We can just eat in here," Sid said over his shoulder.

"Sure." She did as she was instructed then turned to find Sidney watching her. "Yes?"

"You just look amazing. It's distracting." Carrie felt a blush rise across her face as she placed the plates down on the island.

"Thank you, I think."

"What's going on Care? You can talk to me."

"I know I can."

"And you haven't hesitated yet, have you?"

"No."

"Then stop being shy and talk to me."

"Uh, fine. I took the settlement just to get this over with. My first payment was delivered this morning."

"Were you expecting it today?"

"I knew it would be soon. I didn't realize it would be today. I guess his lawyer cut the check and gave it to my brother-in-law last night. He had it overnighted to me."

"How much money?"

"Enough to quit my job."

"Oh."

"I'm...I'm not going to. I mean, unless you want me to?"

"Why would I want you to?"

"I don't need to get paid."

"Nonsense Carrie. Maybe a pay cut?" And Sidney cracked a smile to show he was only kidding.

"Thanks."

"For what?" Sid asked as he dumped the boiling pot of whole wheat noodles into the colander to drain.

"Not forcing me out." He looked up with a bemused smile on his face.

"How about after we eat we go get some frozen yogurt? Your treat," Sidney suggested.

"Ha, sounds good to me." And Carrie smiled again. Something so foreign, but was starting to come back.

*****
Sidney flopped down on the bench in front of his stall after morning practice. He pulled his practice jersey over his head and winced in pain when no one was looking. When he started to I lace his skates Chris Kunitz sat down next to Sid.

"Good practice. Ready for tomorrow?" Chris asked.

"Uh, huh. I think so," Sid said between gulps of water.

"What are you going to do the rest of the day?" Chris asked as he got out of his gear.

I don't know. I guess whatever Carrie wants to do," Sid said with a shrug.

"Your PA? Really?" Chris gave Sid a look that indicated he thought that to be a bit strange.

"Yeah." He was hesitant in admitting he would do whatever she asked him to do considering she worked for him.

"You like her don't you?" Chris asked suddenly.

"Well, yeah. I wouldn't have hired her." He tried to play off his feelings as though he was happy with what she did for him.

"No, I mean you are developing feelings for her. I can tell."

'Busted' Sid thought. He didn't respond for some time as he mauled over Chris's words. He cracked though when he looked over at his linemate and friend.

"Fuck, man it's bad. You can tell?" Sid winced at the pain in his wrist, but played it off as though he was in pain over Chris's discovery.

"Well, not exactly. I noticed the way you were with her this morning. You're attentive to her even though she was going over what all you have to do tomorrow before game time with you."

"She's gorgeous," Sidney admitted making himself blush and Chris smile.

"This is all new huh?" He asked his captain.

"Yeah. What the hell am I going to do?" Sid leaned his elbows on his knees and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Be her friend, man. The best friend she has ever had. Let her come to you. She's older and has been down this rodeo before," Chris clapped Sid's shoulder in an attempt to show some support and comfort.

All Sidney knew as he reflected over the last few days was that Carrie was more than something nice to look at. The way she had opened up to him and had been taking care of him was something he needed and knew she did too. He was playing shitty, he was going to the team doctor routinely for cortisone shots to mask that he was in physical pain, and he seemed to let himself follow in foot with some of the guys that tended to be downright slutty. He managed to miss a practice and his parents and agent were forcing him to get someone in place to take care of him. His first thought was babysitter, but as it turned out it was just someone who needed to be set straight again just like him. He knew he needed to take Chris's advice and just be her best friend, tuck the feelings aside and let her come to him. If that ever happens.

Notes

Do you think Sid's just reacting to being taken care of by Carrie? What will he do if she never returns the feelings? Would she be able to?

Thanks for all the added support! Let me know what you lovely readers think!