Hopeless Wanderer

Carrie felt the warmth of the early morning sun casting light across her bed and she couldn't help but feel excitement. She hurriedly threw the covers off and walked to the glass door that led to a small balcony overlooking the sea. Sidney insisted she take the larger of the two rooms when they arrived the morning before and she was happy that he did. His room didn't get this view.

She walked out onto the balcony and focused not on the view of the rising sun out over the sea, but the figure running along the shoreline. He seemed much more relaxed as he stopped and turned towards their rented home. And to say Carrie didn't find Sidney completely attractive would be a lie. In fact, she couldn't even recall at that moment why she said she wasn't ready to feel his lips on hers. His plump, slightly chapped, perfect lips.

"Because you lost your family a year ago. You should still be mourning," she said to herself. But should she really? How soon is too soon to move on? She knew R.J.'s feelings on the matter. They never hesitated in discussing whether they would want the other one to move on. He insisted that if he died, he would want her to find someone to make her happy again. She, on the other hand, didn't echo his sentiments. She never thought she would be able to love someone as much as she loved her husband. But now, as she watched Sidney slow to a walk towards the downstairs beachside entrance, she began to doubt her original idea of love and loss.

She was still young, thirty wasn't old at all, and she had needs that hadn't been met in so long. But she knew she needed to do one very important thing. She needed to talk to her mother-in-law. She vowed to do that as soon as she returned to the states. Until then she was going to have to refrain from acting upon these feelings she was developing for Sid and hope he could do the same.

*****
Sidney didn't want to go for a run so early in the morning on his first full day of vacation. But he couldn't sleep after he watched Carrie escape to her room in such tiny shorts and a shirt that showed off her midriff. It looked so soft and toned and kissable. He wanted to follow her to her room and show her how great they could be together.

But he refrained, suffered insomnia after traveling so much Sunday and part of the day on Monday, and climbed out of bed just as the sun started to peak through the night sky. He quickly threw on his runners and walked briskly to the shore where he ran for the next hour. And as he finished up his run he turned towards the house and found Carrie watching him. "Yeah, she wants me too," he whispered to himself just as he was able to make out her sleep hair and a smudge in the corner of her eyes from not removing all of her makeup. When he finally got close enough he smirked and shouted up at her, "Like what you see, Palmer?"

He heard her groan and escape back into her room. "Yeah, definitely wants me too," he chuckled and dashed up through the patio door into the kitchen and ran right into Carrie. His arms grabbed her waist and she gasped at the contact.

"Kiss me," she whispered when her eyes met his.

"Are you sure?" He asked, concern evident in his voice.

She nodded, "Before I change my mind. Please."

Sid's fingers trailed up her arms, past her shoulders and neck to rest on her perfectly smooth cheeks. Her eyes fluttered closed as she prepared for the moment she never realized she wanted. "No."

"What?" Carrie asked incredulous. She tried to back away, but Sid's grip on her shoulders wouldn't let her budge.

"Now that I know I have permission to kiss you, I want to time it perfectly. Me sweaty from a run and you just waking up isn't the perfect setting for our first kiss."

"Yes it is!" She moaned as her head fell forward against his chest. He chuckled and pressed his lips into the crown of her head.

"You know it's not. But you are just lusting after my hot body. I saw you watching me."

"I saw how you looked at me last night!" She protested then yelped when he pinched her sides making her jump away from him a little. "Alright, you're right. This is going to be so hard this week."

"You're telling me!" She laughed and turned to start some breakfast. "I'm gonna go take a nice, long, cold shower. I hope you aren't wearing that when I come out."

"No, I'm going to change into my suit."

"Ugh!" He groaned as he walked away.

*****
They sat on the beach reading the books they picked up at the Pittsburgh airport before boarding their flight. Sid was lying flat on his stomach with sunglasses over his eyes and a hat slung over his ears. He was perfectly positioned for Carrie to glance over and stare at the toned muscles in his back without him noticing. She sat Indian style with her book in her lap and occasionally would get caught up with staring at Sid's butt or the open sea. But mostly she stared at him.

"Stop staring," he mumbled. He didn't even need to look at her to know.

"Ugh!" She fell back against the blanket and threw her arms over her head settling to close her eyes and just block the temptation all together. She didn't see Sidney shift to his side and faced her with his head propped up on his arm. She didn't notice him when he reached over and ran a finger along her abdomen. "No! No kissing, no touching like that!"

Sidney ignored her as he pulled her close to his side and cuddled around her. His nose pressed against her cheek. She giggled and tugged his hat off his head. "That's getting in my way."

"You're beautiful," he murmured, the feel of his breath on her cheek.

"We're going to cross a line. I can feel it."

"What happens in Spain stays in Spain?" He asked making her giggle. "I love hearing your laugh. It was something I didn't hear when you first came around."

"Can I ask you something?" She asked as her fingers twisted into his hair.

"Yes, anything," he mumbled against her shoulder.

"Do you believe in soul mates?"

"I'm not so sure."

"I don't. I mean, I did when I was younger, but then things happened and now I am lying on a beach halfway across the world with you. And you are nothing like what I expected. I never expected to even find myself attracted to someone after R.J. died. But I am and you are more than I could have ever imagined."

"You just want me because I'm younger and you want everyone to know you're a cougar," he joked in order to lighten up the air around them after her revelation.

"Ha! I never imagined being called a cougar. I'm not even a full three years older than you! Don't I have to be, like, at least ten years older to have that classification?"

"Hey! Older is older babe." He kid. She pushed him away lightly, but he barely budged. "I am way stronger than you. We should work on that."

"Can we not discuss how I have no muscle mass?"

"I can think of a couple ways we can build up some muscle mass." He wiggled his eyebrows above his sunglasses and she scoffed at him.

"Stop being a perve."

Sid laughed and rolled onto his back away from Carrie. "Read your book woman."

*****
"Two more days, just two more days," Sid chanted as he wound down from his early morning jog. It became somewhat of a necessity for him every day that they were there and every day he ran just a bit longer to counteract the teasing and flirting and all the damn sundresses Carrie wore that showed her toned legs. He rounded up towards their condo and glanced to see if Carrie was standing on the balcony as she had been for every day they had been there. But this morning she wasn't and that alarmed him slightly.

He picked up his pace and made it inside the house in the hopes to see her standing in the quaint little kitchen making some eggs or pancakes. Something she had done every day that week. When she wasn't there he creeped upstairs to see if she were still asleep. When he heard a soft sniffle he suspected more. Then he heard her speaking to someone.

"I know it's the middle of the night, I'm sorry. I'm not in the country right now." He didn't let her know he was there, and he stayed out of eyesight of her. He listened to her side of the conversation even though he knew he shouldn't.

"Yes I know I said I would keep in touch with you. I'm sorry, it's been too damn hard to do so."

"I had to get away from there. I couldn't be there, being sad and feeling sorry for myself. That's not what R.J. wanted for me."

"Well I'm calling because I met someone." His ears perked up just a bit more.

"Yeah he is pretty special." Sid cracked a sad smile because he finally realized who she needed to call.

"You have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you."

"Yes, I know he would want me to be happy."

"He's a little younger. Not quite three years."

"No. Never been married. No children." Sid realized Carrie was giving a rundown of brief information about himself.

"Uh, he's in business. Works in downtown Pittsburgh." Almost true, but he understood she was just protecting his identity.

"No. He's been a complete gentleman and patient because I wanted to talk to you first."

"Thank you. Yes, I'll be sure the next time I'm able to come out there I will stop by and visit."

Carrie hung up from her phone call to her mother-in-law, Roxane, and curled back up under the covers. Sidney tiptoed back downstairs and went straight into his bathroom to clean up from his run. He knew she needed a little time to herself and he would just wait for her to emerge from her room in the cozy little living room with his book and earbuds.

He managed to lose track of time and drift off to sleep shortly after settling on the small couch and he only woke up when he felt Carrie crawl into his lap and nestle into his embrace. "Hey," he whispered, his voice filled with sleep.

"Today's not a good day," she said in lieu of a greeting.

"We all have not good days now and then. You're allowed," he said and held her tighter to his chest. His fingers playing with the ends of her hair.

"Can we not go to the beach today? I'm not up for it," Carrie said after awhile of lying there in silence.

"Yeah, it's kinda dreary out anyways. We can do whatever you want." He sighed and smelled her hair. It smelled of coconut and he found it intoxicating.

"I want to nap with you, but in a bed. This couch sucks." He cracked a small smile. Of course it sucked, he wasn't even six feet tall and he was too long for it.

"Are you hungry?" He asked as she tried to move from his embrace.

"No." She stood and reached out her hand for him to take.

"Care." He was hesitant. He didn't want her to neglect her health.

"Not now, please Sid. I think if I eat something I'll get sick."

"Okay," he said defeated.

"Today's the one year anniversary. I never told you." She was leading him back to his bedroom on the first floor. His bed was slightly smaller than the king in the master, but it was still large enough to fit them comfortably.

"Oh. We didn't have to come here." He said after he digested what she said.

"I wanted to. I wanted to escape from it. Just let's nap, and I should be alright later. Maybe we can go into town and try one of those little cafés for dinner tonight?" She suggested as she turned and looked at Sidney. She climbed into his unmade bed and watched him as he did the same.

"Whatever you want to do. I'm along for the ride," Sid finally replied. He curled up behind Carrie and cradled her body in his arms.

"Even if it's a bumpy one?" She asked.

"Those are the best kind." Sid kissed her shoulder and let the sound of her even breathing lull him into sleep.

*****
The sun was setting as they finished their dessert and Carrie had to admit that Sidney did everything right to help her throughout the day. He was attentive to her needs, if when they lounged around the condo all day, she wanted to cry then he would let her. If she wanted to talk then he would listen. And when she wanted to go into the seaside town to wander through the quaint shops and eat at the restaurant she had been eyeing all week, he got dressed and lead her out the door. When the bill came, he insisted on paying for the meal. Then she wondered whether this was their first unofficial date. In the past she would demand the checks to be split and after some disgruntled looks Sid would cave.

Now they were walking side by side, closer than they normally would walk, and Carrie did something that left her heart racing. She reached over and grabbed his hand. Sidney looked over his shoulder in surprise, but smiled warmly and secured his grip around her fingers. The nightlife around them was picking up and the street was somewhat busier than they expected. There were musicians stationed on corners performing slow, romantic music and a vendor approached the couple with a bouquet of roses.

"Oh, no," Carrie started to politely decline when Sidney said, "How much?" He let go of her hand and reached for his wallet. He handed the specific amount of cash and took the flowers from the elderly man.

He turned back to Carrie and handed over the flowers. "Beautiful roses for a beautiful woman." Carrie blushed and accepted the bouquet from Sidney. She sniffed at the scent and sighed, content. "Thank you," she said quietly and looked up at Sidney. Without saying anything more, he reached for her hand and continued back to their condo.

When they got back, Carrie got a vase for the flowers then turned to Sid. "I'm going to go change." He nodded and watched her walk slowly up the steps to the second floor bedroom. After a minute he followed behind her to find her leaning over the balcony, looking at the night sky. He knocked softly on the side of the glass door then came out onto the balcony, right behind her. His arms encircled her and his hands grasped hers resting on the banister.

"Thank you for today," Carrie said as she leaned her head back onto his shoulder.

"Anything. I'm happy to do it." He turned his head and gently kissed her temple. She turned around in his arms to face him. Her smile wasn't sad as it had been all day. Instead it looked almost lust filled and Sidney realized, with the moonlight casting a soft glow around them and the warm breeze from the sea, that standing right there was the perfect time. He moved his hand from the railing to the small of her back and the other lifting her chin softly. Her content look she have him boosted his confidence and he leaned down to finally seal her lips with a highly anticipated kiss.

Notes

What do you all think? I'm loving how Sid and Carrie are being with each other! I hope you do too! Love to hear about it!

And thanks for all the encouraging words and new votes after last chapter! You all rock! I'd love to hear more!