Shaybu!

Brad Marchand and Jonathan Toews had split from the group. They had broken into twos to cover more ground, in search of any clues to the whereabouts of Brad’s partner-in-crime. Milan Lucic and Patrick Sharp teamed up, while Torey Krug went with Ryan Getzlaf and Corey Perry and Duncan Keith and Shawn Thornton partnered up.

“I never thought I’d really get a chance to hang out with you again, Tazer?”

“You’d rather spend time with your “homeboy”, I know, I understand.”

“Segs is not going to take up all the time with me. We’re very popular now, you and me, you should know that we don’t have a whole lot of time to hang out with older friends, including the Dallas Star.”

“I know. I’m busy hanging with Kaner too much. He’s really starting to rub off on me!”

“I don’t see it, Tazer!”

“Trust me Marchy, the party hound is there…”

“Are you and Bergy close?” Brad changed the subject, almost immediately.

“Bergy’s a great guy and I have gotten to know him. He’s a great puck handler!”

“Yeah, that’s Bergy. He’s a beast with the puck!”

There was another awkward pause. Brad looked away, while Jonathan did the same.

Suddenly Jonathan halted, causing Brad to stop and turn to him. “I knew I should have spoken up! I should have been more vocal with the coach! I should have told him about Sidney and I should never have agreed to being comfortable with him getting the captaincy. The leadership has gone to his head and he thinks that he’s the best and his enemies must be punished! He’s a fucking tyrant, man!” he sobbed. “It’s all my fault!”

“It’s not your fault, Tazer. You didn’t know. You were only being nice.”

“But if I had taken the captaincy, Sidney wouldn’t be such a jealous bitch and he wouldn’t have kidnapped Bergy!”

“Well, he may still have kidnapped Bergy, actually. And he would definitely still be a jealous son of a bitch. Sidney is a very vengeful human being and a downright diving dick on the ice. I think he would still have done something or at least attempted to.”

“He assaulted Sharpie in practice and I went after him! I couldn’t help it! I didn’t like him harming my teammate and best friend!”

“Didn’t the coach see it?”

“No, he caught me “jumping” Sidney, who was “innocent”!”

“You’re kidding me?! Not only do the fucking refs cover for his antics, but now the coaches are falling for them as well?!”

“Yup.”

“Inconceivable!”

“Believe it!”

“When I get my hands on that piece of shit, I’m going to….I’m going to…..”

“Going to what, Marchy?” a sly voice sneered, behind the Blackhawk and Bruin.

Brad and Jonathan whirled around to see Sidney, Chris and Brooks walking toward them.

“Sids!” Brad growled, narrowing his eyes in on his target.

“What are you doing here, Mr. Marchand, aren’t you supposed to be back in the States on a vacation? As I recall you were not chosen to be a part of this particular Canadian team!” Sidney snarkily remarked.

“As I recall, from summer camp, they specifically said no jealous assholes should be on the team!” Brad shot back.

“As I recall, there is a law here in Sochi, that forbids little shits like yourself from crossing the border!”

“As I recall, there’s a limit on how ugly your smile can be, here!”

“As I recall, there’s a limit on how short you can be to be an Olympian!”

“As I recall, there’s a sign in the Shayba that says, “no diving”!”

“As I recall, there’s a poster that said, “wanted: big nosed freak”!”

“As I recall, you’re a wicked retarded crybaby from Pittsburgh, who is still whining over the June playoff series from 2013, when Boston kicked your pathetic asses out of the Cup contention!”

Sidney and Brad stood nose-to-nose, glaring at one another. Their fists were clenched tightly at their sides.

Jonathan bit his lip, watching the argument.

“Where’s Bergy, Sid? I know you took him!”

“Why would I tell you, Marchy?”

“Because the Bruins need him!” Brad stated.

“And so does team Canada! Unless you want to lose the gold medal!” Jonathan tacked on.

“Really? Is that so? I’ve got a better idea!” Sidney smirked and signaled to Brooks and Chris, who made a sudden movement and snatched Brad by his arms.

“Tazer!” Brad screamed, jerking against the hold. “Do something!”

Jonathan made to help him out, but Sidney swung something at him and knocked him unconscious. He fell to the ground, bleeding from a cut on his forehead.

“Sidney, you douchebag, stop this!” Brad yowled, continuing to pull against the grips of the two henchmen.

“Shut up, Marchy! I hate you….and….you’re going to get to see your beloved centre!” Sidney threw a black garbage bag over the struggling Bruin pest, who was dragged off.

They left Jonathan Toews, bleeding and unconscious, but not dead, on the ground. He was sprawled out weirdly and uncomfortably.

Notes

Tazer and Marchy as BFFs