A week later…

Patrick Kane has recovered completely from his injuries. He is ready for what Sidney has for him next. (He is ready for Sidney's next kidnapping of him. Ha-ha.) But seriously, he has healed completely and quickly.

Tyler Seguin is walking outside the Jungle, with Jamie Benn. Jamie and Tyler, the two Dallas Stars, seem to have been walking for a few minutes now. They are in the middle of their conversation.

“Jamie, do you think we'll ever figure out how to destroy Sidney?”

“We've got to. Sidney will continue to grow stronger and smarter. It's only a matter of time before he finally gets one of us.”

Tyler halts in the pace. He turns to Jamie, bewildered. “How can you be so sure about that, Jamie? How can you even believe that?”

Jamie smirks. Now we know this is not Jamie Benn. Does Jamie Benn “smirk?” (Run Tyler! While, you still can!)

“Are you a fucking retard, Seguin? Seriously? It took you this long to figure out I wasn't your beloved Dallas captain?” Jamie Benn now snorts, sounding an awful lot like Sidney Crosby.

(RUN TYLER SEGUIN!!)

Tyler eyes his "friend,” skeptically, sensing a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach and in the back of his mind. “You--You're not Jamie Benn!”

(I SAID RUN TYLER SEGUIN!!)

Tyler begins to back away. Finally taking the hint from his stomach and mind. (And me, the writer!)

Jamie Benn morphs into Sidney Crosby. Sidney stalks toward Tyler, moving gradually. He is sure that he can succeed in his plan and successfully catch up to the lonely Dallas Star if need be.

Tyler continues stepping backward. He is freaked out now. It is definitely not Jamie Benn. “Sidney!!”

“Who'd you expect? Hornqvist?”

Tyler gasps, his eye narrowing, “That's completely uncalled for, Sid!”

“Knowing me and knowing you, it's totally called for!”

“No it's not! He elbowed me high and drew blood.”

“Just like I'm gonna do to you now!”

“Where's Jamie Benn, Benny? Where is my linemate?”

“Does it really matter? I knocked him out and disguised myself as him. Pretty clever, if you ask me.”

Tyler whirls around and starts to sprint back toward the Jungle. Sidney sighs. He easily catches Tyler and tackles him. Sidney roughly pins Tyler to the concrete with one hand. With the other he rapidly withdraws a cloth covered in liquid. He covers Tyler's mouth with it. Tyler struggles and muffles screams, panicking. He quickly falls unconscious. Sidney drops the cloth, carelessly. He scoops up Tyler and drags him into the bushes.

Behind the bushes, sits a private lot. A single slick black charger, owned by our dastardly Penguin, sits in front of him. He shoves Tyler's limp body into the trunk and slams the door shut on him. Sidney Crosby drives off with Tyler Seguin.

Notes

Tyler's not very bright, is he?