Nicole's P.O.V.

May arrived. And it all went down hill. I had gotten back from my concussion but that didn't seem to do any good, the series against Columbus was a uphill battle but the series against the Rangers was just bizarre. We lost the first, no big deal. Then we kicked ass for 3 games and then lost 3.

We were out of the playoffs.

After the final game it wasn't the kind of pain where you cry, it was the kind of pain where you just feel numb and don't wanna believe anything.

We sat in the locker room after the game and it was silent. There were a million things to be said but nobody, not even Dan, knew exactly what how to say it.

"Ok, that sucked," I piped up, "Who are we kidding we lost that game and the seasons over. There's nothing we can do about it. I know that by October not all of us will be sitting in is locker room and that kinda breaks my heart. But it was fun while it lasted."

I looked around the room and everybody was about half undressed, with there heads hung low.

Nobody else said anything that night and I made my way home.

By the time I was showered and semi ready for bed the highlights from the game were on NHL Game Center, along with the season ending goal. And I watched it until I was in tears. I watched it one more time and then slammed the top of my laptop shut and fell back onto my bed.

I almost didn't hear the knock on my door over the blasting Fall Out Boy song in the background. I walked to my door and opened it expecting to see Olli but instead I saw Sidney, almost in tears.

"Sidney." I stated.

"Hi," he smiled weakly, "I'm sorry to come over so suddenly but I just wanted company and I hate to be sexist but I feel like I can't breakdown in front of any of the guys."

I didn't say anything after that I just pulled him into a hug and he wrapped his strong arms around my waist.

I lead him to the couch and for about 10 minutes he just cried into my shoulder, mumbling things about how he could have done better and how horrible he felt. I just agreed with him, feeling that's same pain of not doing enough.

We separated my grey shirt stained with Sids tears.

"I'm gonna go now." He sniffed, "You really don't know how much I appreciated this."

"It's really no problem." I smiled at him as he walked out the door.

"I'll see you on Thursday." He sighed, he meant locker clear out day.

"Ya, I'll see you then." I said as he walked out and shut the door.

I walked over to my fridge and grabbed a beer out of my fridge hoping it would help relieve the head ache I was getting.

I decided to check my phone and say all the alerts about the game. I figured twitter wasn't going to be any better but I still had to check.

It was nothing new, there were the fans who were devastated but still proud of the season and there were all the once saying that we deserved it.

But one caught my eye.

Claude Giourx tweeted: Happy the Pens are out. They deserved it. Especially that slut St.Claire.

I knew better than to start an internet war with him but that didn't mean I wasn't steaming. I already hated him and this didn't help.

There was another knock on the door and I walked over and was happy to see Olli standing on the other side.

"Let's go somewhere." He said before she could get a word out.

"What?" I questioned laughing at him.

"Let's go somewhere! Let's go to California or the Bahamas or I'll take you to Finland but let's go somewhere." He grabbed my hands and spun me around.

"Olli, I don't have time for a vacation." I smiled as I lead him to the couch, "I'm staying here for most of June to do photo shoots and film commercials. Then the NHL awards where I still have a speech to write, then I'm going home for about 2 weeks then the Espy's then back to here for more commercials."

"Oh. Well then let's go down to The Point and get ice cream!" He sounded like a little kid.

"Ok. Let me get dressed." I smiled and walked to my room.

I walked to my room and quick changed into some jeans my vans and a hoodie.

We drove down to The Point and got out ice cream, I got cotton candy and he got good old chocolate. We walked down and sat on the sidewalk, our feet dangling over the ledge.

"I'm so happy." He smiled.

"How could you be happy, our seasons over."

"We'll Miss sunshine, I'm happy because I'm here with my beautiful girlfriend, sitting in my second favorite city, eating some delicious ice cream, and I'm healthy and I'm doing what I love." He smiled.

"You're are such an optimist." I smiled at him.

"Ya. I am." He licked his ice cream, "Nicole, what's your middle name?"

"French Canadians don't use middle names. But my parents did give me one and it's Charlotte."

"Nicole Charlotte St. Claire." He smiled, "I like it."

I just laughed at him.

We finished our ice cream and he drove me back to my apartment and he kissed me a goodnight.

***

Locker clean out day. It's as depressing as it sounds.

For those of you that don't know what locker clean out day is, it's when all the players come in and get all their stuff out of their lockers, answer media questions and while some people get to say see you later, others say goodbye.

I arrived at the rink and sat in my locker for one last time. I pride myself on not being emotional in front of the cameras but I'll admit I got a little teary eyed.

I cleared out my locker and was soon swamped with cameras and reporters.

"Nicole, what changes do you think will be made to the coaching staff?"

"I'm not sure exactly what changes will be made but I know there will be changes and hopefully they'll be for the better." I answered.

"Do you think you'll make it to next season with this team?"

"I sure hope so. I love this teams and this city but who really knows what'll happen."

I answered more questioned before the reporters decided to go and bug some other unlucky teammate.

I went and said my goodbyes and see you laters to all the guys. I made my way to Dans office and I feel like I owed him the biggest thank you.

He was sitting at his desk when I walked in and quickly stood up and made his way over to me, with open arms.

"Thank you." I whispered.

"For what exactly?" He questioned.

"For giving me this opportunity. Thanks for letting me have all the ice time and for pushing me to be better. Without you I'd probably be playing juniors for the rest of my career." I answered.

"It was an honor to be your coach this year Nic."

"The honor was all mine." I smiled at him and left.

As soon as I excited the door I was engulfed in a hug from Geno.

"I'll miss you little one." He looked at me.

"I'll miss you too, G. Kick ass at worlds." I smiled at him, "just not against Canada."

He turned at me and rolled his eyes.

I had almost made my way out the door with my bag and sticks when one last, lonely reporter decided to get one final question out.

"Ms. St. Claire, you played a very good season this year. But what do you Anna say to all the people who are saying you can't make it another year?"

"What do I wanna say to all the people who are saying I can't do this?" I pondered the question, "Watch me."

Notes