The Wall

Dinner with Kevan’s parents had gone great. Hadlee was thrilled. She loved his family. She was so excited when they all talked about Kevan’s niece. The entire family was in love with the little girl. It gave her a lot of hope. Hadlee was currently reclined in Kevan’s bathtub waiting on him to get home from taking his parents and brother to the hotel. She had offered to ride along but since she had fallen asleep on Kevan while sitting with his parents, he had suggested she take a bath and get ready for bed. She yawned and stretched in the tub. She was so tired. She really hadn’t done much. Mostly fix dinner and plan the wedding.

The wedding! She still couldn’t believe KK was getting married. And married to Brad Marchand. Caroline had been busy looking at maternity bridesmaid dresses. It was a lot for her little group. She and KK had both been waiting for Caroline to burst through their doors hiding from Dougie’s family. But she had sent a text saying things were good, and for Caroline that was saying a lot. KK had also sent a message that the Marchand clan had been very accepting. In fact, KK was pretty sure they wanted her to marry him tomorrow. Successfully meeting the future in-laws, check.

Hadlee leaned back and relaxed in to her fragrant warm water. The smell of limes and sugar made her think of the beach, and thinking of the beach inherently made her think of Kevan. She had also ordered the study materials for the California bar exam this afternoon. If he thought they were training in California in the off season, she needed a plan of action. Mr. Shaunessy had told her he would find her a firm to work with from June to September if need be. She had been planning this before she found out. Hadlee found herself drifting off thinking of blonde haired baby girls with Kevan’s eyes. She could see the little one squealing running in the surf beside a lab and her daddy. She could only hope her dreams would find a way to become a reality.

Kevan dropped his keys in the bowl by the door. He kicked off his trainers and placed them near Hadlee’s tiny shoes. Kevan laughed at the pile of heels and boots that were accumulating by the door. Her stuff was all over the apartment. He couldn’t wait to get her stuff completely at his place. Then again, there was only so much Kentucky blue and sparkle one man could handle. He was about to find that limit. Deke was sleeping in his crate. Kevan dropped his Bruins blanket over the crate. The couch pup was like a parrot, he passed out the minute you covered his crate. Little guy must have had a busy day if he was sleeping already. Kevan flipped out the lights as he walked through the apartment. The kitchen was clean thanks to Hadlee and his mother. Kevan noticed a glass of wine sitting on the counter. Hadlee must have left it when she went to bathe. He could smell her bubble bath permeating the entire place. Kevan grabbed the glass and head to the bathroom.

Kevan stopped in his tracks. Hadlee was asleep in the bathtub. He wasn’t sure whether to laugh or feel bad for her. He knew she was stressed about his parents coming. She didn’t need to be. All he had heard on the way to the hotel was how perfect she is. His mother was already planning the wedding. Kevan explained that she might want to stand down a bit as Hadlee was the baby and only girl in the Reynolds’s clan. He told his mom he was pretty sure that they would end up getting married in Kentucky. His mother simply said, okay. Before climbing out of the vehicle his mom had leaned in and kissed him. Her parting words had been that he finally got this right. He had laughed and told his mom that he knew. He had told them he and Hadlee would pick them up in the morning for breakfast at KK’s bakery. Reminded them they would be on their own after while he had skate and Hadlee worked. His mom took his other key so she could fix dinner. Cooper smacked him in the back of the head crawling out, bitching about Kevan being spoiled. Kevan offered to take Cooper and his dad with him to practice. There would be family everywhere until after the game Tuesday. Hadlee had no reason to be stressed about his family.

Kevan sat the glass of wine on the counter near her makeup. He pulled his shirt off and tossed it along with the shorts in the hamper. After the day he had, he was pretty sure he was smelly, but his mom and Hadlee would put up with him in any form. He walked over to the tub. Her bubbles were starting to break down and the jets were off. She had to have been asleep at least 15 minutes. Kevan sat down on the edge of the tub. Hadlee didn’t move. So much for crawling in the tub with her. Kevan grabbed a black bath sheet from the closet. He made his way over and let the water out of the tub. As it started draining Hadlee made discontented sounds. She hated being cold. He chuckled at her pulling at the water.

“Hadlee Belle,” he said sitting on the ledge with the giant towel “Wake up babe. You’re gonna freeze in that tub.”

“Awake” she murmured back.

“I can see that.” replied Kevan “Come on babe, stand up. I’ll carry you to bed.”

“Sleep here. Tired.” she answered. Kevan laughed out loud.

“Hadlee, you can’t sleep in the tub. I have wine. I’ll tuck you in. Then, I will shower and join you in bed. We can watch crap TV or just go to sleep.”

“Okay, but no wine. Can’t drink wine.” she muttered sleepily. Hadlee stood up and looked at Kevan and smiled. “Hey,” she said “Guess I was tired.” Kevan nodded and wrapped her in the giant black towel. He dried her off and carried her to their bed. “Need clothes...” she said trying to climb out of the bed.

“Stay put.” instructed Kevan. He grabbed her a pair of lacy girl’s boxer shorts and one of his white tees. Hadlee was still wrapped up like a small child in the center of their bed. Kevan tugged the shirt over her head and handed her the underwear. She finished getting dressed and tossed the towel at him. He caught it and slung it over his shoulder. He proceeded to turn down her side of the bed for her to slide in. He tucked her in. “I’ll be back in just a few, gonna shower.” Hadlee nodded and snuggled into her pillow. She watched him cross the floor in his boxer briefs. Damn he was pretty.

“Hurry!” she called “I’m cold. And I might miss you a little bit.”

“Might?” came his reply from the bathroom “I might take my time in the shower.”

“I might be asleep,” she responded “And I’d like to snuggle with my favorite hockey player.”

“If you call him, Brad might come over.” teased Kevan. She heard the shower spray turn on.

“Kevan Michael Miller, you are mean. I am gonna call your momma and Brad.” she fussed. She got no reply but could hear the sound of water hitting planes of muscle. Tall, hot, and sweaty replaced with tall, hot, and soapy. Hadlee giggled to herself. She wiggled around for a few minutes. If she laid still she would be asleep in a matter of minutes. She wanted to wait for Miller. Hadlee flipped on the television and turned on old episodes of RuPaul’s reality show. She was laughing at the cattiness of the show when Kevan reappeared wrapped in a towel.

“You laughing at me?” he asked walking into his closet.

“Nope, drag queens.” she replied honestly.

“I’d make an ugly woman.” he responded from the closet.

“No offense Kevan, but I think you might be right.” laughed Hadlee.

“Now who is being mean?” he asked walking out of his closet. He was dressed in ball shorts and t-shirt. Hadlee scowled at him. “Gonna take Deke out before we go to bed.” Kevan came over to the bed and kissed her pouting face. “Just a few more minutes.”

“You keep saying that, Miller.”

“I promise sleeping in a room with 12 dudes made me greatly appreciate my beautiful snuggly girlfriend. I’ll be back before they lip sync.” He said dropping another kiss on her mouth. He and Deke made a rapid trip in and out. The pup was in no mood to play. Kevan placed him back in his crate. He ventured back to their room. Hadlee was laying across the bed on his pillow watching the show. She stopped watching the show long enough to watch him strip down to bright blue boxer briefs. She had thought the red UA were her favorite. She was wrong, she loved UK blue on him. Kevan slid under the blankets beside her. “See, told you I’d be right back.”

“Promises, Promises, Miller.” she replied snuggling into his warmth. She gave up all pretenses of using the pillow and just laid her head on his chest. “I missed you, Miller.”

Kevan tucked her closer to his body “I missed you too, Hadlee Belle. I got woken up at 5am by the squirrel being overly excited about camp. I never want to sleep 12 dudes to a room again. But then again, I am pretty sure we all agree on that.” Hadlee lay in Kevan’s arms listening to him tell her all about team building. She felt her eyes getting heavier and heavier. “Am I boring you?” he asked. Hadlee shook her head no but burrowed into him more. “Go to sleep. I love you, Hadlee.”

“Love you too, Miller.” she said stretching like a cat. Kevan turned the TV off and killed the lights. He had already set the next morning’s alarm. Kevan kissed the top of her blonde head before rolling her into a spooning position. He felt her legs tangle with his. Holding Hadlee he knew he was home.

Hadlee eyes opened. The room was spinning. She felt very odd. Hadlee looked at the clock. It read 5:45 am. She was going to be sick. Her main problem was being trapped under Kevan’s prone form. She moved to push out of the bed and a wave of nausea hit her. She laid extremely still and took small breathes. She could do this. This was normal, right? Nope, she needed to throw up. Hadlee hated throwing up and her body fought it with every fiber of her being. But this was something she couldn’t fight. She pushed herself away from Kevan and ran to the bathroom. Once she expelled the contents of her stomach, she still didn’t get over the queasy sick feeling. She heard footsteps behind her.

“Go away, Miller.” she said breathing deeply “I’m fine.”

“Obviously not.” he replied sitting down on the tile beside her. She still had her head laying on the cold porcelain toilet. He moved only long enough to get two wet wash clothes. Kevan handed her one for her mouth and placed the other on the back of her neck.

“Go back to bed. I’ll be fine. This is definitely not hot.” she whined.

“It’s one of those for better or worse things, babe.” he teased “I’ll take you any way I can get you.”

Hadlee teared up. “Damn it, Miller. Now I’m leaking again. Better than throwing up though.” She raised up from her position and sat on the floor. Kevan moved so that his back was against the wall. He settled Hadlee between his legs. Hadlee was almost in fetal position with her head in his lap. Kevan was gently stroking circles on her back. “Let me brush my teeth and we’ll go back to bed.” said Hadlee sitting up. Her body revolted and she threw up again.

“Or maybe we sit here until this passes.” replied Kevan “You can’t scare me, I spent 4 years on a college hockey team. Trust me, you are way better looking than any of those goons.”

Hadlee collapsed back into his lap. She gave him a weak smile. He sat in the floor with her for what seemed like forever. Soothing her and telling her stories of college hockey celebrations gone awry. When the alarm started chirping in the other room Hadlee sat up. The nausea wasn’t that bad.

“Ok, how about you shower and take it easy.” instructed Kevan “I’m going to run down to the lobby and get you a ginger ale out of the machine. Then, I will call mom and tell them they are on their own for breakfast.”

“No,” ordered Hadlee “This will pass. Brad and Dougie’s families will be there. I want to go. I have a really light day at the office. If I still feel bad, I will call the doctor.”

Kevan looked at her carefully. He tilted her chin up and looked at her eyes. It was going to be a fight if he told her no. And she knew he wouldn’t tell her no. He helped her to her feet. Kevan kissed her forehead before agreeing to her demands. “Okay, but I am getting you a ginger ale.”

She nodded her agreement before turning on the shower spray “Will you put it in my UK cup with ice?” she asked. She moved carefully to the sink and began to brush her teeth.

“Yes,Ma’am.” he replied leaving the bathroom. He returned with her phone and sat it on the counter beside the sink. “I have mine if you need me. I’ll be gone for 5 minutes.”

“I’m going to shower, Kevan. I’ll be fine.”

Kevan left her and she stripped out of his shirt and climbed into the warm spray. She washed her hair and her entire body. Hadlee looked down at her abdomen. She wondered how long it would be flat. Hadlee needed to tell Kevan. “Hey, little one.” she said “Can you try not to make momma so sick that daddy finds out accidentally?” Hadlee talked to the baby all the time. At least the little one would know her voice and know she was loved. Hadlee wasn’t sure why she had decided the baby was a she, but she knew it. Hadlee wrapped her body in Kevan’s towel from the night before. She managed to get her hair wrapped in the t-shirt she took off before Kevan came carrying her insulated tumbler full of ginger ale.

“Sorry I took so long, had to go down the street to find a ginger ale.” explained Kevan. He smiled at her and she broke down in tears. She was standing in front of him sobbing. “It’s not a big deal, babe. I walk Deke further than that most days. It’s not like it will hurt me. Please don’t cry.” Kevan picked her up and cradled her against his chest. He settled into her little animal print chair and rocked her. Hadlee snuffed and tried to quit crying. “Hadlee Belle are you okay?”

“I’m fine. We’re fine” she said crying even harder. She buried her head in his shoulder. Lord help she was as bad as Brad at keeping secrets.

“I know we are fine” replied Kevan kissing her forehead.

Hadlee grabbed her phone from the dresser. She flipped through the messages from the last few days. She stopped on the text of the pregnancy test that she had sent West the other night. Her hand shook when she handed Kevan her phone.

Kevan took the little blue phone. He read the texts between Hadlee and her twin before his eyes settled on the photograph of the pregnancy test. Kevan was eerily quiet even for Kevan. Hadlee knew he was a man of few words. But she needed him to say something. Say anything. He tossed her phone on the bathroom counter. Kevan stood up with Hadlee cradled to his chest. He carried her into the kitchen and deposited her on the kitchen counter. It was the only place where they were eye to eye. Hadlee was still crying. She untangled the t-shirt from her hair as he paced the kitchen. She finger combed her hair as he made a third loop around the counter. She wanted to grab him, she wanted to shake him, but more than anything she wanted him to say that it was all going to be okay.

Kevan came to a stop in front of her and braced his arms on each side of her “Yeah,” he said cautiously. Hadlee nodded and cried harder. “I have one question?”

Hadlee braced herself and cried even harder “Yes, it’s yours.” she replied struggling to get off the counter. Kevan wouldn’t budge.

“What the actual fuck, Hadlee Belle Reynolds?!” exclaimed Kevan “Of course he is mine! That wasn’t even on the radar as a question. I fucking love you.”

Hadlee then became nearly inconsolable. Kevan stepped even closer and wrapped his arms around her. “I love you too Kevan, with my whole heart.” She continued sobbing on his shoulder.

“I just want to know, why you are crying baby?” asked Kevan pulling her away from his shoulder. Hadlee then burst out in hysterical laughter. She was intermittently crying and laughing. Her hand came up and rested on his face so that he was looking at her.

“I just told my pro hockey playing boyfriend of a month or so that I am pregnant. Pregnant!” she exclaimed “This isn’t what you need right now. You need to focus on hockey. I realize you have other commitments. But I already love her Kevan. So, I can’t do anything but have this baby. I can do all the paperwork….”

She didn’t get to finish her statement because Kevan captured her words in kiss. “Fuck, other commitments.” he said kissing her again. “Fuck, hockey.” he replied kissing her again. “I love you, and I love him.” Kevan leaned in and kissed her abdomen. “You hear me, little man? Your daddy loves you, and your crazy momma.” He smiled at Hadlee. She recognized that smile. It was the same one from when he made his first NHL goal. He kissed her again. “How long have you known? Have you been to the doctor yet? Who beside West knows?” Kevan was excited. He was usually so calm. “I’m gonna be a damn head case for 9 months. We’re going to be parents. Parents, Hadlee Belle!”

Hadlee was still laughing and crying. The only difference was these were tears of joy. She began answering his questions “I found out Saturday night after the game. So, less than 48 hours. I am as bad a Brad with a secret. Only the girls know. Well Caroline, Kayleigh, Dani Grace, Desi, Jami, and Tegan.”

“And nobody slipped?” replied Kevan “Obviously Brad doesn’t know, or his head would have exploded by now.”

“No, I was going to tell him and ask for his advice for telling you.”

“You were going to tell the Squirrel about my baby before me?” he asked incredulously.

“I wasn’t sure how you would react.” said sniffling.

Kevan picked her up off the counter and carried her to the couch. He was cradling her in his lap against his chest. “Hadlee, you never need to be afraid to tell me anything. I am not going to run. I love you. You are stuck with me.”

Hadlee nodded and snuggled into his chest “I am holding you to that, Kevan Miller. I am going to try and find a good OB here in Boston. If I can get an appointment, do you want to go?”

“Yes. I’ll be there the entire time and for the rest of your lives.” Kevan was smiling at her like a lunatic. “Let’s go meet everyone for breakfast.” He kissed her again “Are we telling people or no?”

“Most guys aren’t excited when they knock up their girlfriends” said Hadlee “I’m not sure I am ready for it to be team knowledge but Brad, Dougie, Quaider, Reilly, and Baby K are on the top of the list. I need to tell my parents and my brothers. We need to tell your parents. But maybe we should wait until the doc confirms it’s, alright? I have a number for an OB/GYN. I told Britt I need a birth control refill. So I am calling her doc. They open at 8.”

“Will we see the baby today?” he asked

Hadlee grabbed her laptop and showed him ultrasound videos of early pregnancy. “Not much to see. Just that little blink. That’s the heart beat.”

“I want to see that blink, Hadlee Belle.” he said looking at the videos “I need to see that blink.” Hadlee started crying again. “Please don’t cry.”

“I can’t help it.” she squeaked “I told you, I’ve been very leaky.”

Kevan gave her another gentle kiss and then carried her to her makeup chair. “Get ready. I’m going to get dressed.”

Hadlee spent the next 30 minutes getting dressed. She walked out into the living room to find Kevan reading on his iPad. He was so serious. Hadlee stood and just watched him. Deke was laying in his lap. He was perfect. He was completely engrossed in whatever he was reading. Kevan looked at Hadlee when she sat down on the couch beside him. She was beautiful in a kelly green wrap dress. He frowned at her shoes. She was wearing a sky high pair of boots.

“What are you reading?” asked Hadlee “The last Mortal Instruments?”

He shook his head no. Hadlee looked at him quizzically. He held out the iPad. Hadlee started smiling before kissing him. Who would have thought Kevan Miller, bad ass Bruin, would be reading “What to Expect When You Are Expecting?” Hadlee continued to smile at him.

“What?” he asked “It had the highest ratings in pregnancy books.”

“I didn’t think it was possible to love you more.” she replied.

Notes