We Are Here and Now

Sid woke in pain in the very bed he wished he wouldn't have with a massive headache. He didn't remember much, which he assumed was the point of the party. But he felt dirty and needed some aspirin fast.

So he wandered out to the living room to find that Marc was already up and watching morning cartoons, a cup of coffee in his hands.

"Can't sleep in anymore no matter how late I am up," Marc explained. "Fresh coffee is in the kitchen."

"This place doesn't even look like we partied like imbeciles into the night."

"Well YOU were passed out before midnight."

"I blacked out? That must be why I don't remember shit." Sid took in his surroundings, trying to piece together what happened. "Were the girls here at one point?"

"No." Marc shook his head to emphasize his point and never averted his eyes away from the television.

"Then I had a pretty vivid dream of CiCi in my room with me." He could have sworn she had made an appearance. If anything to pick his lame ass up. He wimped out before midnight? How much had he been drinking? He couldn't remember, but his liver was screaming and his head was thumping.

Marc grew silent and gave Sid a tight lipped smile. That look only made Sid dread what he was about to ask and hear.

"Why are you giving me that look? What happened?" Sid sat on a love seat perpendicular to the couch Marc sat on.

"You really don't remember or are you playing dumb because you've been hit in the head one too many times?" Marc tried to make light conversation. Just as he finished asking Sid that Max came out and flopped down on a chair. He groaned and looked as bad as Sid felt.

"The last thing I remember was attempting to get water instead of alcohol. Max came in and took the bottle from me so I caved and resumed drinking alcohol."

"Wow, that was early dude," Max interjected.

"Then what happened that you are scared to tell me?" Sid begged. He needed to know how much he screwed up because he was now convinced that what he did was horrible.

"You let the stripper jack you off," Max said.

"WHAT?!" Sid yelled, which only hurt his head and made Marc and Max wince.

"Bortz came into the room before you finished and he argued with her for taking advantage of you. You kept telling CiCi to close the door and come back to bed. Which was slightly amusing because she wasn't around. That's when we called it a night and made you go to sleep," Max explained.

"Fuck I need a shower. No, I think I'm going to be sick." Sid stood and started pacing, he had to tell CiCi. He couldn't start a marriage off on a lie. But he knew she would be pissed. She had every right to be. He just hoped she could forgive him and they could get past it. He would swear off alcohol all together. It was a bunch of empty calories anyways. He could never go out without her again. That didn't bother him. He liked being around her.

"I've never seen you act like that when you were drunk before. You were all angst ridden and a little mean. Usually you're a good time," Marc said shaking his head.

"What happened after I was put to bed?" Sid ignored him. How he was as a drunk didn't bother him. It's what he did that had him worried.

"What the hell is all the racket? Ohh...Mr. I can't handle my booze Crosby is awake!" Rob said as he and Beau came out.

Ignoring them, Max answered Sid, "Geno and Rob made sure the strippers left and refused to pay the one full price because we did not express needing those services. When she claimed she would sue, then Kuni told her that they would report her for prostitution. It was quite comical. She took half of what she initially agreed to."

"It's probably all over the damn Internet now. CiCi checks that shit! She gets kicks out of reading the latest rumors about me. She sometimes stirs the pot a little and replies to others. Which only escalates the rumors, but I can't stop her. Oh God, she is going to call off the wedding. I can't let her do that. Why would I call the stripper CiCi?" Sid's thoughts were scattered as he continued pacing.

"You thought she looked like CiCi. No one else saw it," Rob provided.

"Really?" That got him to stop and face his teammates and friends.

"Yeah. She had platinum blonde hair dude. She was probably a good four inches shorter than Ci and her body wasn't all that. She had some big boobs and a pretty face, but that's it. I think at one point I heard you telling her that she didn't need to do that for a living. That's when I heard her mention that this wasn't her day job," Bortz said.

"Okay, more information than I needed, thanks. Back to the fact that my fiancé is going to leave me." He swung his arms up and tugged at his shaggy hair. He hadn't cut it since playoffs so he could have a fresh cut right before the wedding.

"Come on, you don't even remember it happening! I can vouch for you. We all could," Beau commented.

"When is check out?" Sid asked out of nowhere.

"Tomorrow. We got the place for the weekend so that the guys from out of town could stay," Marc said.

"I need a shower." He started pacing again. Suddenly knowing that a stripper's hands were on him made him feel disgusting.

"Sid you need to stay calm. It will be fine. None of us will say anything to anyone," Rob said from his perch at the breakfast bar.

"That's not the point!" By this time the rest of the other guys had woken and were observing the heated discussion. "The point is I didn't ask for this. I didn't want a bachelor party. I hardly drink to begin with and it's evident why now! I was forced to have this party, which put me in a bad mood. Then I had some woman follow me around everywhere I went. Then I get so fucking drunk that I let said woman touch me. And you want me to stay calm? What makes you think she isn't going around telling people what I let her do to me?"

"Because she and the other women signed contracts agreeing to remaining silent about what happens. We covered all bases. Partied away from a crowd, were responsible and stayed put, made sure strippers didn't run their mouths," Marc rattled off matter-of-factly.

"What am I going to do guys? Seriously. Any advice will be helpful at this point."

The room remained silent. And as if the timing wasn't perfect enough, the door swung open and Pascal walked in with bagels in hand.

"Whoa, what's going on?" Pascal asked.

"You left? Like went home and slept?" Sid hadn't expected to see a refreshed looking Duper.

"Yeah. After you passed out I went home. I can't drink so all the shenanigans unfolding were boring for little old me," he started to unpack the boxes of bagels and open containers of cream cheese.

"So you know what happened." Sid walked towards the kitchen in order to hold Pascal's attention while he worked.

"Yeah."

"What the FUCK am I going to do? Tell me! I'm losing my mind here, and these guys are just giving me nothing." Sid was half yelling and half panicking by this point.

"Hey, thanks man," Marc said with a smirk. Max threw a pillow at the goaltender's head.

"Don't look at me, I'm nowhere near the point of marriage. You kinda need a woman for that," Beau interjected.

"Or a dude," Rob commented.

"That too," said Beau. The banter between the roommates would have been amusing to Sidney if he wasn't nearing a breakdown.

"Okay, you guys aren't helping," Duper said. He set everything he had in his hands down and walked over to Sidney. "You have to tell her."

"No shit. How?" Sid wasn't being sarcastic, he genuinely needed the advice.

"You just need to be completely honest Sid. She will get upset, she will cry, she may even leave. I don't know. But in the end she will appreciate you that much more for having told her and for being up front with her than for keeping it bottled up inside you."

"Yeah, but will it save my impending marriage?" Sid hoped it would and that three weeks from that very day he would be standing in the middle of another hotel, preparing to dress for his wedding.

"You'll never know until you try," Pascal said with a shrug of his shoulder.

*****
Sidney waved bye to Tanger and watched as the defenseman reversed out of his driveway towards the main road. After showering where he lost control and cried over what he did, he convinced Kris to drive him home. He wasn't up to hang out with the single guys and Kris was headed home to his family.

As soon as the taillights were no longer visible, Sid turned to go inside. He had mentally prepared himself for the expected reaction. CiCi would scream, cry and probably rip his heart out and stomp all over it. He deserved it. But he had to do what Duper said. He had to tell her. If there was any chance in salvaging a relationship, he had to be honest and up front.

With a heavy sigh he turned toward the front door and let himself into the house. Even with the two of them living in the house, it was still large and eerily quiet whenever he came home. He placed his overnight bag near the steps so that he could carry it upstairs after. Right now he was determined to find CiCi. He needed to get it over with. Rip off the bandage. Let the wound bleed.

He cowered as soon as he found her swaying to music as she prepped what looked to be a feast for dozens of people in the kitchen. He had a sudden urge to hold her close, and in a few quick steps he was standing behind her, his arms snaking around her waist.

He felt her sigh and press up against him, and he brushed his lips across her shoulder. "Hi Mrs. Crosby," he whispered. The sinking feeling returned when he uttered those words.

"Mmm, I love when you call me that. Three weeks from today it will be my actual name!" she gushed and spun around to face him. His grip on her waist only tightened when they made eye contact. He didn't say anything, instead he leaned down and captured her lips in a desperate and memorable kiss. Her content sigh let him know that she was enjoying it, but the timer on the oven sounded ending the moment.

"It's the last thing I am baking, I swear. It's for the guys tomorrow. Fatten them all up before sending them on their way." Sid had forgotten all about inviting the guys who attended the party over for lunch before several of them flew home. Which reminded him of the night he had. And CiCi didn't even notice that as soon as she walked away from him that his body deflated and he resumed feeling and looking miserable. When she pulled the cupcakes out of the oven, she placed them on the cooling rack and looked at Sidney.

"Well, you look worse for the wear. Rough night, huh?" She chided. Of course she would have expected him to have too much to drink, but little did she know that his appearance had little to do with the hangover. At least not anymore.

"We need to talk," Sid started. And he felt the energy in the room change from enjoyment and pleasure to anxiousness.

"What happened?" CiCi asked.

"What makes you think something happened?"

"Because you said we need to talk and you look like shit. Something happened last night. Did Beau get alcohol poisoning? Geno trash the hotel? Were the strippers ugly?" She rattled off possibilities. Some of which he wished were accurate. He couldn't remember what the strippers looked like.

"I had too much to drink and passed out before midnight. If any of that happened it happened after I went to sleep."

"Aww, baby you're such a lightweight," she joked. Sid cracked a nervous laugh and looked at her. 'Just say it,' he thought.

"I got too drunk and let one of the strippers touch me."

"Touch you? That's expected, they were probably all giving you guys lap dances. Touching is inevitable." CiCi shrugged and started to open up the powdered sugar to mix together the frosting.

"No, Ci. Like hand on me trying to get me off." It sounded worse when he said it. It sounded wrong and dirty and he shivered in disgust of himself. He watched her as she considered his words.

"So let me get this straight. You knowingly let some strange woman put her hands on you, and touch you and pleasure you?" She immediately felt self conscious. Was this woman more attractive than her? Did she have everything that would make her a woman? Could she offer Sid something that CiCi couldn't? What was CiCi lacking that made Sid want to let someone else do that to him?

"Not...not...I didn't know...I thought it was you!" Sid stuttered.

"Oh that makes this so much better Sidney! What the fuck?"

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry Ci! I didn't know, I swear I didn't know!" Sidney walked over toward CiCi and reached for her tentatively. She wasn't at all reacting the way he expected. She let him touch her arms and began to draw her close to him when he finally heard her hiccup and let the tears fall.

But she let him comfort her as she cried for them, for his infidelity. She pressed her hands against his chest and sobbed into his neck while he repeatedly apologized. Sid felt the sting of his own tears behind his eyes, and the only thing he could do was let them fall.

But CiCi pushed Sid back forcefully knocking him into the counter behind him and stepping away from his reach and sloppily wiped at her face. He tried to reach for her, to help dry her eyes. But this time she smacked his hands away and shouted, "Don't touch me! I need to go somewhere."

"Where?" He expected that she would want to get away. The sting of her sleep still felt on his hands.

"I don't know, just somewhere. I just can't be around you right now."

"Will you be home later?"

"I don't know."

"Ci, please don't leave me. I messed up. I did. I admit it. I will do anything to make this right."

"How? How are you going to make letting someone else do that to you better? Huh?"

Sid stood dumbfounded. He didn't know. All he knew was that the single most important person in his life was about to walk out the door. He had to let her though, as Pascal told him. She may only be gone for a couple hours. She will eventually want to talk to him again. He just hoped it would be sooner rather than later.

Without another word, CiCi walked over to retrieve her bag, phone and keys. Sidney never once stopped looking at her. Silently pleading with her to turn around. To stay. To just understand that he didn't do it to hurt her. That he didn't even know what was happening. Not that that was an excuse.

*****
CiCi climbed into her car and pushed back a new wave of tears as she backed out of the garage and towards the road. She should be mad, and hurt and want to leave. But a part of her was fighting the urge to leave and consider the situation Sid was in. He went to a party he didn't want to go to in the first place. He was completely disgruntled about it all the way home the day before. She knew that. While he enjoyed going out with friends, he was generally the responsible one and was the designated driver. Last night the guys arranged it so that he wouldn't have to drive. He drank more than he was used to consuming.

But none of that made what happened okay. He was drunk, but he knew it happened. How could he not know? He told her. He told her. He manned up and admitted his wrongdoing. She admired that even if she hated what he did. But she couldn't turn around. Instead she knew exactly where she was going to go. She just hoped that the person she was seeking out was home.

It took CiCi nearly thirty minutes to get to the south hills neighborhood that the Dupuis' lived in. Usually it only took half that time, but it was a beautiful Saturday afternoon and road construction was just picking up. She praised the heavens when she noticed both vehicles were parked in the driveway, and was happy to have Pascal greet her from his perch between the cars, a hose in hand.

Not many guys took up residence in Pittsburgh year round. She imagined it was just easier for the guys with school aged children to remain in one location. Pascal and his family has grown to love it in the city, opting to go away for a few weeks to visit extended family in the summer. CiCi was grateful for their being home then. If anyone could give her good, quality marital advice it would be these two. She idolized their relationship from afar. And sure, she could very well go to Maria and Derrick or her parents, but both couples would give biased insight choosing to side with her since they have known her longer. Pascal and Carole-Lynn were just the opposite. They were welcoming and happily gave the younger couple any advice needed to foster a stronger relationship, more so now that they were engaged to be married.

CiCi cut the engine and climbed out of the car where she was immediately greeted by Pascal.

"Couldn't handle Sid's hangover?" Duper asked with a snort. Typically CiCi found Pascal funny, but now was not the time. Instead she broke down and cried in the middle of the Dupuis driveway in the middle of the afternoon.

Pascal quickly comforted her. "Let's go inside. Carole-Lynn just made some sun-tea. Would you like a glass?" He threw a comforting arm across CiCi's shoulder and lead her through the garage into the house in order to talk.

"Have a seat. I'll get Care and we can all talk."

"Where are the kids?"

"Care's parents took them to Sandcastle for the day."

"Oh, ok."

"Care! CiCi is here! She is stealing your tea!" He shouted as he walked toward the front of the house. Carole-Lynn came walking out of the laundry room attached to the kitchen. She rolled her eyes at CiCi as if saying how unobservant Pascal was.

"I'm right here. I swear it is never ending laundry in this house. Thank God I have a few months' reprieve with the hockey gear that he brings home."

Pascal came back into the kitchen to see his wife and friend sitting at the kitchen table already. CiCi was still quietly crying.

"You were there last night." CiCi looked up at Pascal.

"Yes." He stood across from CiCi at the table.

"Sit." She pointed to the chair he was standing behind.

"Ok." He did what she commanded.

"Is Sid telling me the truth?" She asked.

"What did he say to you?"

"That he thought it was me." She gripped her cool glass of tea in bother her hands and bit her lip fighting back another round of tears. Carole-Lynn reached over and gave her a comforting pat on her arm. Pascal knew he needed to just tell her exactly what happened.

"Alright, listen to me. I'm going to give you some insight into what happened from a sober person's perspective. First of all, Sid was in a foul mood to begin with. It was obvious he didn't want to have a party, but there had to have been something else beforehand because as he drank more the more he seemed pissed off."

"We kind of ran into my ex when we were finalizing wedding arrangements," CiCi provided a detail that nobody knew.

"Alright, the dude got in his head. He's usually level headed, but I can see that bothering him. Anyway, he wanted nothing to do with these women that Geno and Nealer got to dance around the hotel. One leached onto Sid though and followed him everywhere. Around nine he wanted to quit drinking, but Max discouraged that. So he continued. Around 10:30 he mumbled something about being tired and wandered away. He was pretty drunk by that point. Speech was slurred and he stumbled around the hotel suite. I didn't see this Chastity girl go with him, but she did. It took the guys about ten minutes to realize she had followed him to one of the bedrooms and went after her to get her out of there. We were all concerned that she would be trying to rob him or something, not attempting to seduce him."

"He said Bortz stopped her."

Pascal nodded then continued.

"I was right behind him. She was out of the room before she could have taken advantage of him anymore. But the strangest part was that he kept asking why we kicked CiCi out. He thought she was you, that's how intoxicated he was."

"She must have looked like me somehow."

Pascal shook his head slowly. "Not even a little bit."

"But it still happened." She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.

"Okay, not to sound obnoxious or to defend Sid in any way, he didn't finish. He was too drunk to. Geno got rid of all three strippers, Kuni, Tanger, and I got Sid into bed and most of us called it a night. The guys calmed down and watched some pay per view fight and ordered pizza. Kuni and I left. Kris and Marc were the only ones with a kid who stayed."

"Am I nuts for being upset?" CiCi looked to Carole-Lynn for an answer.

"Absolutely not! I would be too. But Sid is a decent guy. He doesn't get into trouble, he lives a quiet life. He doesn't seek out attention from others. He's not a cheater." She shrugged, CiCi knew Care was right.

"Ci, Max and Marc had to tell Sid what happened. He doesn't even remember it. And Care is right. He's a good person."

"He is, isn't he?" CiCi cracked a small smile at the thought of Sidney.

"He is. And he is incredibly lucky to have you. He was nearing a panic attack when I got there this morning. He is so scared he is losing you over this."

"No, I just want him to wallow for awhile and let him think about what he did," CiCi said. She knew she couldn't just leave him. He had done so much for her in their years together. She loved him more than anything else, and the thought of not having him around terrified her. But she needed to be mad and let him think about what happened.

"How do you two make all of this seem so easy?"

"What? Marriage?" Pascal asked and CiCi nodded.

"Ci, marriage isn't easy. We work at this every single day. But it is so worth it," he said.

"You two have conquered so much in your relationship. This is just another hurdle you have to jump over together. Just like when you guys decide to adopt or reconsider a surrogate or when he finally decides to give up hockey he is going to need you. There is always going to be an instant in your life where you'll need to make major decisions."

"And Sid isn't a cheater. He made a mistake. It's a costly one. It hurt you. It hurt him knowing it would and does hurt you. He's probably swearing off ever leaving the house unless it's for practice or a game. But he is willing to do that for you."

"He can never drink again." CiCi shook her head, fearful of what would happen if Sid were to drink again.

"I don't think you'll have a difficult time having him agree to that. He adores you too much. And these last couple years we have had the privilege of seeing Sid flourish as a person. He gave up his obsession with hockey, and it has made him that much better of a player!"

"You two will be fine. And this little bump in the road is just that. A bump in the road. You don't love him any less now, do you?" Carole-Lynn asked.

"No." She didn't. She may still be mad at him, but she knew she would get over it in time.

"Good, he is going to love you even more if that is possible because you are able to forgive him."

*****

Sidney finished taking a second shower that day and was scouring through CiCi's Pinterest app on her iPad to find the frosting recipe she wanted to use for the abandoned cupcakes. He was just loading the linked blog when his phone vibrated indicating a text.

Pulling his phone out from his shorts he read that the message was from Duper and quickly read what he sent.

"She's here with us. She will be home tonight. Just needed time like I said she would."

Sid sighed in relief. He didn't know what the Dupuis' would have said to help CiCi see that it was all a huge mistake, but he knew he would be forever indebted to them for it.

Notes

I take the lack of feedback meant you kids weren't fans of what I did! I hope this helps. Love to hear what you think!