We Are Here and Now

"Where's your car?" Julia asked as she helped carry the gift bags out of the restaurant.

"I parked across the street," Sid pointed with his elbow as he was carrying bags in both his hands.

"Wait, what do you drive?" Julia asked, realizing that they weren't going in the direction that CiCi had taken them to what they assumed was Sid's car.

"I have my Range Rover. It's in front of the hotel right there," Sid got Julia across the quiet street.

"Oh God," she exclaimed when they got to his car.

"Where's Ci?" Sid asked, confused. He unlocked the hatch, placed the bags inside then took the bags from Julia. He was watching her as she glanced around the street in a panic.

"Uh, we got outside and CiCi took us in the direction of a parking lot."

"Well, there's a parking lot," Sid indicated the lot directly behind him.

"Yeah! Yeah, that's it."

"What's going on?"

"Do you not own a Tesla?"

"I do. Wait, why?" Sid asked nervously.

"She may or may not be trying to break into one right now. She has a key?" Julia ended her sentence questioningly.

Of course CiCi had her keys on her. If Sid hadn't come down to get her, someone would have dropped her off later. He could have very well been asleep and she would have needed to get inside.

Sid burst into laughter at how absurdity of the situation, but it was soon interrupted by a loud beeping sound. He and Julia quickly moved in the direction of the sound hoping that it was just coincidence that a car alarm was blaring.

*****
"Ugh! Why won't this work?" CiCi stamped her sandal-clad foot and tried to hold back tears. She was drunk to the point of vomiting next to Sid's car, barely missing it and feeling completely vulnerable. She was embarrassed that she had gotten drunk enough that her friends called him to get her to begin with, and now two of her oldest friends stood beside her as she attempted to use the keyless remote to get into Sid's car.

"When did he get this beauty?" Maria asked trying to keep CiCi calm and admiring the very expensive sports car at the same time.

"Right after we got engaged," she said, "Piece of shit won't even unlock!" She slapped the handle of the car and felt her stomach turn again. "Oh God, not again," she groaned as she turned away from Caroline and Maria and threw up in the gravel lined bushes. Caroline walked over to CiCi, rubbed her back and tried to comfort her friend.

"Let me try. I can't imagine a car costing nearly 100 grand would malfunction," Caroline took the remote from CiCi and attempted to get the doors unlocked herself while Maria took over and tended to CiCi. Care continuously pressed the button and pulled on the handle enough that the car alarm began to sound. "Fuck! What did I do?"

"What did you do?" CiCi echoed as she stood up and stumbled beside Caroline. Maria sidled up beside the other two as the trio stared in shock that the alarm was sounding.

"I'd say I'd go get Sidney, but I'm going to play the pregnancy card on this one. Six months bitches. Drunky-McDrunkerson here won't make it back, so Care wins by default!" Maria exclaimed. She stood next to CiCi and took the remote from Caroline as Care walked back in the direction of the restaurant.

"What the fuck is taking the superstar so damn long anyways?" Care shouted across the lot at her friends. She didn't have to go far when she nearly ran into two running figures. "It's about damn time!"

"What the hell are you girls doing?" Sid said as he waltzed over towards CiCi and Maria, ignoring Caroline.

"Trying to get the damn car unlocked and now the alarm is going off!" CiCi explained.

"That's because it's not my car!" Sid yelled over the alarm's volume.

"What?" Maria exclaimed. She looked scared, "Oh shit we are going to get in trouble."

CiCi looked at the car and back at an angry looking Sidney then back at the car again. "This looks like your car though."

"I have the SUV. It's loaded with your gifts and across the street from the restaurant." CiCi threw her head back and sighed. She really wanted to cry now. She even let a slight tear escape.

"Let's get out of here before we get into trouble," Julia said over the wailing alarm.

"We can't leave now! I'm not going until we explain to the owner what happened," Sid said.

The alarm beeped twice and shut off and an older gentleman came around to the group.

"I guess it won't be a long wait, huh?" Maria asked softly as they watched the man approach.

"What are you people doing to my car?" The man asked gruffly. He was dressed in a tailored suit and had silver hair and glasses.

"Sir, I'm so sorry. I thought your car was my fiancé's car. He was behind me coming out of Mercato and I didn't know what car he brought to pick me up," CiCi said quickly. "See? I have a Tesla remote too!" She flashed the man the object in her hand.

"You're not trying to break in?" He asked skeptically.

"No, we honestly thought it was our friend's car," Caroline piped in. Sid stood back and pulled his cap lower. The man hadn't noticed him yet, and if the girls could handle the owner of the car then maybe he could escape without having to show himself.

"We are so sorry for the confusion! We didn't want to leave without speaking with you first," Julia piped in. The man looked at all four women and finally spotted Sidney standing back a ways.

"Oh...it's fine. No harm, no foul. Thank you for clearing this up though. Now I don't have to think someone was trying to steal my car," he nodded at Sidney and made Sid realize he recognized him.

"Well, have a nice rest of your evening, sir," CiCi said as she stumbled over towards Sid. Sid wrapped his arm around her waist to steady her and turned in the direction of his SUV. She waved bye to her friends who were parked in the same lot and let Sidney lead her.

She was feeling better now that she threw up. Frisky even. She pinched Sid's ass as he opened the car door for her and helped her inside.

"Hands, Ci!" He chided, but she caught a small smile playing out on his lips.

"You like when I'm handsy," she pointed out. He rolled his eyes and closed her door while she finished buckling her seatbelt.

The drive home was quiet as Sid contemplated the conversation he had with his teammates' wives. The more he thought about it, the angrier he got. Why would CiCi think she needed to lose weight? He felt she was perfect and he couldn't grasp what would have sparked this in her. He knew discussing it with her now wasn't good, she was still pretty intoxicated and he was certain practically asleep.

When they got home, Sidney went to get the bags from the back of his truck so that CiCi could sort through them if she wanted to, but she had other plans. He had left her in her seat, choosing to get her after he unloaded, but she managed to get out on her own.

"Babe, what are you doing?" Sid asked when he felt CiCi's arms slip around his waist. Her fingers ran across the band on his shorts and she slipped a hand inside for a quick grope. Sid's breath caught in his throat and he let go of the bags.

"Let's play," she whispered. Sid knew that it wasn't a good idea. He was in a foul mood to begin with and she was drunk. But her body pressed up against his and her hands down his pants were making him forget exactly what put him in a bad mood.

He backed out from under the hatch, forgetting about the bags, and turned to face CiCi, losing contact momentarily. He grabbed her face and leaned down for a heated kiss. His hands roamed down her arms, following the path to her thighs and he effortlessly picked her up without breaking their kiss. Her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, her arms around his neck. She moaned when he squeezed her butt. "That's for earlier," he said through their kiss. She giggled and felt herself being carried through the house and up the stairs to their bedroom.

They got as far as the bed when a loud beeping went off. "Shit!" Sid groaned, sitting CiCi on the bed.

"What is that?"

"The house alarm. I'll go disarm it before the cops show up. You stay there."

"Hurry up! I need you!" CiCi moaned as she lay back against the pillows. Sid dashed out of the room and towards the closest security box. He punched in the code to turn off the alarm, reset it to arm the downstairs doors and ran through the upstairs hallway back to CiCi. But when he burst back in the room he found CiCi sound asleep already.

He sighed, leaned over to take off her shoes and cover her up. He then decided to just go to bed as well. CiCi exhausted him some days, but that didn't stop him from looking forward to spending the rest of his life with her.

*****
It was late Sunday morning when CiCi finally woke up. She felt like she had been beamed in the head with all the throbbing. She noted that Sidney was already up and she could understand why, it was almost 11. He never slept in that late unless he wasn't feeling well.

She was completely unmotivated to do her morning routine, so she texted Sid to find out where he was and waited for a response. When he replied a few minutes later with a simple word: kitchen, she climbed out of bed, quickly changed out of her dress into a pair of shorts and a Pens shirt, and headed in the direction he indicated in his text. Her clothes still being on made her realize that they never made it to bed as she had intended.

"Morning," CiCi said hoarsely. She climbed onto an island barstool and watched as Sid effortlessly maneuvered around the stove. He didn't turn around to acknowledge her, instead continued making what she could only assume was the only thing he knew how to make - scrambled eggs. She hopped down off her seat and shuffled over to the fridge to get a bottle of water then turned back to sit when she noticed Sid had a bottle of aspirin waiting on the island countertop. "You're too good to me."

Sidney plated up the food, spun around and set a heaping pile of eggs in front of CiCi. "Eat," was his only instruction.

"Ugh, I'm not hungry," she groaned as she adjusted in her seat.

"Eat," Sid said more firmly this time.

"Sid, I'm not hungry."

"Eat the god damn eggs Cesira or so help me god I will call your mother." He snapped and the anger he was holding spilled out.

"I'm hungover! I don't have an appetite." She didn't like when he called her by her full name.

"Fine." Sid turned away from her leaving her plate in front of her. She pushed it away slightly in disgust. The sight of food only reminded her of how she lost everything she ate last night in downtown Pittsburgh.

"Why are you so angry with me?" She asked as she winced at the sounds of pans clattering against the porcelain sink. He wouldn't be angry because she fell asleep before they could have sex, would he? She never pegged him to be that type of person.

"Why aren't you eating?" Sid's anger hadn't subsided.

"I told you..." She began. His anger was starting to make sense.

"No, this food aversion has been going on for several weeks now. Tell me why you are doing it." It was more of a command than a question. He turned to face her, leaned against the sink and crossed his arms. The stern look he was giving her was something she had never seen before.

"I haven't been avoiding food." Which was partially true. She ate, just so much less than she used to.

"Bullshit. How much weight have you lost?" He asked. She knew he had noticed, but she felt the need to defend her loss.

"There is nothing wrong with being toned. You're toned."

"My weight isn't in question here. Yours is. You have no reason to be losing weight."

"The medicines I'm on..." She began the same argument.

"Try again." She knew that wouldn't work.

"I want to look good next to you in our wedding photos."

"That's garbage."

"It's true." And it was, he looked incredible post-season and he is constantly maintaining his physique.

"Whatever Cesira." He turned to start hand washing the dishes in the sink.

"Stop calling me that!" She shouted at him and turned to look at the plate.

Sidney wheeled back around, took three steps to CiCi and spun her chair around. She flinched back from him as he leaned close to her and rested his large hands behind her on the island.

"You listen to me. You will eat those eggs, as well as any other meal you or I make or go out for. You will not starve yourself because you think that will keep me wanting you. I will not marry you if you think that having an eating disorder is the way to go to keep me around. It will only push me away." His voice was stern and his look so intense that it frightened CiCi some. She could feel her heart pounding against her chest. "Now eat."

He backed away from her and returned to the dishes in the sink. He was mad and he felt justified in being angry with CiCi. This wasn't just some sort of anger where he would get over it with a simple apology. He was hurt. She hurt him by doubting his admiration of her.

He heard the scraping of a fork on a plate and he felt a little victorious. He turned to see CiCi eating the food and asked, "Would you like some toast too?"

"No."

"Ci." Toast, he knew, would help with her upset stomach and he was all of a sudden feeling somewhat apologetic for yelling.

"I'm eating the fucking eggs, be happy about that," she spat back at him. Anger evident in her voice now.

He shook his head and watched as she finished the plateful of food, stand and leave the kitchen. He listened for her footsteps and heard her slam their bedroom door closed. He sighed and realized his small victory was short lived. He knew being mean wouldn't work entirely, and he couldn't be mean to her. He just wanted her to be healthy and happy and right now she was neither.

He followed behind her and inched quietly toward the closed door in order to listen to any sounds coming from the bedroom. He felt awful when he heard her crying loudly, the sound hardly muffled through the door. He cracked the door and peaked in to find CiCi crumbled across the bed, her face buried in his pillow.

"Ci?" Sidney said softly as he entered the room. She cried louder when he spoke. But he needed to get her to calm down and actually have a conversation with her. He needed to do what Vero told him. "Ci, we need to talk."

She sat up and leaned against the headboard, her tear-stained face red, her eyes puffy. Tears were still falling, but they were silent. He moved to sit on the bed facing her, his foot still on the floor.

"Are you going to make me move out?" Ci asked, a poor attempt at being sarcastic. But it was filled with a hiccup and more tears and the attempt at being sarcastic failed.

"Baby," Sid moved quickly and sat next to her, and pulled her close. "Never. You're stuck with me. And I am lucky to be with you. It's just...you're scaring me. I didn't really think that you'd ever resort to an eating disorder."

"I don't have an eating disorder!"

"Okay, I don't want to fight. I want us to talk. We need to get everything out in the open before we get married. So talk to me."

CiCi sighed and sat up from his embrace. She sat Indian style, her knees resting against his thighs. She rubbed her palm along her nose and sniffed back a wave of tears. Sidney ran a comforting hand along her arm to her neck where it rested, his fingers tangled into her hair. "I started working out more after I got my dress. It's gorgeous, but it was just a little tight, and since we planned so quickly I needed to buy off the rack. There was no time to order a dress."

"So you wanted to lose a little for it to fit better."

"Yes."

"And avoiding food wasn't always a factor?"

She shook her head no and bit her lip. "That started when...when...when I found out about the stripper."

Sid nodded, but felt his own tears sting his eyes. He never considered the repercussions would go so deep. He took in a shaky breath and rested his head against the headboard.

"I want you to always be happy with me and..."

"Babe, what happened meant nothing. I didn't even know it happened. It doesn't mean I love you any less or that I find you any less desirable. I find you more and more incredible each day. And I don't deserve you, but I promise you that I will do anything I can to show you how much you mean to me every single day for the rest of our lives."

"What you did hurt. Like made me think I am not enough for you. That I am not enough of a woman or that everything that has happened to me is repulsing you now." Sid gripped her hand in his, lacing their fingers together tightly.

"I made a mistake that night."

"Yeah, you did make mistakes that night."

"Okay, I made several mistakes that night. I went there annoyed over seeing Mark and you not explaining that we are getting married. I drank way more than I should have. I tried to stop, but got suckered into drinking more. I blacked out. I don't remember anything that happened after 9 that night and, well you know the rest."

"I didn't want him knowing our business. And I guess I've just gotten used to your want for privacy."

"I've rubbed off on you." He smirked at her, she smiled back at him.

"You have. But last night when you wouldn't go down the front steps with me hurt."

"That was entirely for your benefit. I didn't want people trying to crowd us while I was trying to get you to the car. The downstairs was packed and I was recognized coming in. It wasn't because I was ashamed of you in any way."

"Really?"

"I haven't hidden you once. I want the world to know that you are mine and vice versa. If last night came across that I was embarrassed by you, I'm sorry. That is not what I was trying to do."

CiCi bit her lip considering what Sidney said. It made sense. It wasn't like Sid shied away from talking about her when asked. He even got a round of congratulations when the media found out they were engaged. She took in a deep breath and leaned over him to rest her head against his stomach. "I'm a hot mess."

"You're telling me!"

"Why does wedding planning bring out the worst in people?"

"I have no idea babe. It didn't help that we chose a date so close to the end of the season."

"Or that the season lasted into June!"

"That was for good reason."

"Yeah, I know," she kept her cheek pressed against his chest and finally said what was weighing on her mind, "I think I'm always going to be insecure with you."

"But..."

"No, let me explain."

"Okay."

"I fear that I am always going to feel this way because of who you are in the public eye. Not because you make me insecure, but everyone else who is judging me. And I know you are going to say I have nothing to worry about."

"You don't. Ci, you want to know something?"

"What?"

"I have felt that way too, growing up. I mastered the art of privacy and I can help you with that too."

"But I don't want to be held back from my art."

"I don't want that either."

"You're not mad at me anymore?"

"Are you going to eat food and be responsible with your workouts?"

"I may even let you jog with me."

"I would love that. And no I'm not. Are you done being insecure and doubting that I love you?"

"I'm getting there. Wedding stress is making me crazy."

"I can't even imagine if we had planned a huge celebration."

"In Canada."

"Exactly. Now, back to you getting there. What can I do to make you feel less insecure?"

"I don't...I don't..." She mumbled as he shifted their positions. He pushed her down against the mattress and hovered over her.

"I do."

"Oh?" She asked.

"You still have a headache?" He asked as he brushed a strand of hair away from her cheek. She nodded her head slowly, only because he was slowing her thought processes.

"I've read that orgasms help with that," he whispered while he settled his body on top is hers. She spread her legs to accommodate him and moaned when his lips made contact with her skin. "I love you."

"Mm, I love you too Sidney." CiCi wasn't entirely feeling up to sex, but she wasn't going to protest. With how high strung things had been as of late, she could use a release. Sidney brushed a kiss along her neck and attacked her lips with his plump ones. He thrust against her, letting her feel him.

"You drive me crazy," Sid said softly as he ghosted his lips across hers, his forehead touching hers. "No one else can do this to me. I only want you."

"Oh, God Sid," she moaned, her eyes closing and her grip on his arms tightening.

"You still give me butterflies. I still get nervous around you. And I will never want anyone more than I want you. I don't want to lose these feelings ever." CiCi threw her arms around Sid's neck and
pulled him down into a hug.

"Can we just cuddle? Like all day? Today is the last day we have before the craziness starts."

"That's all you want?" Sid asked as he rolled off her body and rested on his side facing her.

"Yes. I've got everything packed for our various trips. Our clothes for Saturday are at my parents'. Head counts are done. Menus finalized. Decor is all on our planner. Your family all arrives on Thursday. It's overwhelming. I hope everything is perfect."

"It will be, I know it."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Oh, I'm sure something will go wrong. Or we will forget to do something. But I'm certain that on Saturday I get to watch you walk down the aisle to me and anything that may have gone wrong will be forgotten because all that matters is I am marrying the most amazing woman."

CiCi sighed. It was easier said than done. But she loved him for trying to make her feel good about potential disaster. Now to just get through the next three days.

Notes

I want to thank diehardhockeyfan16 for all the support with this story!

And i hope all you are still enjoying the story. There is plenty more to tell!

And hoping sid is on the ice tomorrow.