We Are Here and Now

Walking down the aisle had been a blur. The sea of faces blended together and the only people CiCi could actually see were the minister and Sidney. He stood in a tailored navy suit, scowling at her as she approached. Why was he giving her that look? She looked to her left at her father and jumped slightly. The man wasn't her father at all. It was Mark and he looked so smug as he gripped her arm tightly.

"What are you doing?" She whispered at him.

"We are getting married," Mark said.

"No I'm marrying Sidney. Where's my father?" She panicked. The unimaginable was happening and she wanted to run away. But first she needed to get to Sidney and get him to come with her.

"Sidney!" CiCi said loudly to get his attention. He didn't respond or look like he even heard her. When she and Mark finally got to the altar Sidney looked livid.

"What the hell is going on Cesira?" He hissed, anger evident in his eyes.

"I don't...I don't..." She stammered shaking her head in confusion. She really didn't know. And where was her father?

"I thought you had nothing to do with him," Sid growled out.

"I don't!" She pleaded. She tried to pull away from Mark, but his hold just got tighter.

"This is the single most embarrassing thing to ever happen to me!" Sid said when he noted how CiCi wouldn't come to him.

"Then you can go, so I can marry her. This is the way it is supposed to be anyways," Mark countered.

"Where are my parents?" CiCi asked frantic. She caught sight of her bridesmaids, all cowering away afraid to answer.

"Ci, we are so sorry, but they died. Like two days ago. In a car accident. We have the funerals right after you decide who you're marrying," Caroline finally said from her position to CiCi's left.

"What?" CiCi asked, choking back tears.

"Yep. It's a three in one package deal," the minister explained.

"But?" She looked at Sid, silently pleading with him to make this right.

"Let me make this decision easy for you, I'm going to go." Sid pushed past CiCi and waltzed back down the aisle. CiCi turned and managed to free her arm from Mark. She lifted her long ball gown and noted her running shoes were on. She chased Sidney down, but as she ran he kept getting further and further away instead of closer to her.

"Sidney!" CiCi shouted as she tumbled over her skirt and fell onto a mound of dirt."Sidney!"

"Hey, hey, babe! Wake up! CiCi!" Sid was pushing on CiCi's shoulders jostling her to open her eyes. She flinched at his touch and gasped when she saw she wasn't lying in dirt anymore.

"Oh God!" She wailed and threw her arms over her eyes fighting back tears.

"Come here babe, you had a bad dream." Sid didn't wait for CiCi to move into his embrace, rather he snaked his body, freshly showered and still slightly damp, around hers.

"It was horrible! You left me at the altar! Mark walked me down the aisle insisting he was the one marrying me. My parents were dead and we were having a three in one ceremony for the wedding and their funerals. But you left and I couldn't convince you to stay!" She spilled everything out.

"Shh, it's okay. You can't get rid of me that easily," he cooed softly into her ear. She nuzzled against his bare chest, but being awake and having him next to her wasn't settling her down from the nightmare.

"But it could happen!"

"None of that will happen. We have twenty eight more hours to go."

"You're not going to leave me, right?"

"Never. And your parents are alive and well. And that douche will be nowhere near us tomorrow."

"We were in a church getting married."

"Oh? Do you regret not planning a church ceremony?"

"No!"

"Then the location in your dream isn't important. We are getting married tomorrow. Unless you are having doubts?"

"Never! You better not be either."

"Not even the slightest bit." CiCi smiled at Sid, but the dream still worried her that something terrible was going to happen. She coiled closely to Sid to breathe in his scent and try to forget the dream when she felt his skin and realized he wasn't wearing anything.

"Are you naked?"

"I just got out of the shower." He ran his hand down her side and rested on her hip. He leaned over her, pulled her tank top down and immediately attached his mouth to her exposed nipple.

"Oh, God. What time is it?" She asked as she snaked her fingers through his damp hair.

"We have time for me to do what I want to do to you," he mumbled as he switched to her other breast.

"What's that?" CiCi asked, eliciting a growl from Sid. "Right, right. Less talking, more showing. Distract me from my nightmare." He propped himself up on his arm and looked her up and down, his fingers playing dangerously close to the band of her shorts. "What--?" she started to ask again, but then she gasped when his hand dipped between her thighs, his thumb barely rubbing her clit.

"Is THIS distracting?" he asked, his voice dropping an octave. Her mouth hung open in shock as she tried to fathom the change from his comforting her to lusting after her, but he slid his thumb down to trace her slit, she arched against the bed with a small moan, her hands curling around the sheets.

"Ohh--God, no, it feels good," she gasped out, her eyes falling shut as his thumb slid up and down her folds, collecting the moisture seeping out of her as her body responded to his touch. She spread her legs wider which let him pay more attention to her clit as he rubbed small circles over it.

He was quiet while he worked her over, just her breathy moans filling the silence of the hotel room. Her hips began to rock, trying to create more friction between his thumb and her clit, but he stopped then leaning back down to drag his hands over her breasts, and she pushed her chest into his hands. "Sidney," she whimpered, and her head dipped back against the pillow as his hand fell between her legs again to resume his ministrations on her clit. When she felt the wet suction of his mouth on her nipple, she gasped out loud. "Fuck, that feels good. Don't stop," she pleaded, and he sucked harder, his thumb moving faster. She felt the pleasure surging quickly. "Oh god, I'm gonna come, Sid."

"Good," he murmured around the tip of her breast, his tongue flicking over the pebbled bud before he tugged it between his teeth. That was all she needed; her thighs clamped shut around his hand, and she came, her clit pulsing as her orgasm ripped through her.

"Fuck!" she cried out as her body convulsed, squirming in the bed. The movements of his thumb became leisurely, an after-thought, and he kissed his way up her chest and her neck to her mouth as her heartbeat slowed. Dazed, she half-heartedly returned the kiss, blinking her eyes open when he pulled away. He smiled at her and leaned back onto his pillow, looking pleased with himself, and he pulled her shirt back over her breasts.

She laughed abruptly, feeling slightly delirious. "Oh my god, you are absolutely amazing," she panted giddily as she stared up at him. His cheeks were ruddy, and his golden brown eyes twinkled. Her own gaze dropped to his lap, barely covered by his towel, the sight of his obvious erection drawing another smile from her, and she leaned forward to rub him through his towel. "Let me return the favor," she purred, and his eyes fluttered shut for a moment before he blinked them open, prying her hand off of him. She frowned immediately at the refusal.

"Ah, wait, Ci. We had enough time for me pleasing you but if you start on me then I'll want to fuck you all day. And we don't have time for that." CiCi chuckled at him and groaned when her phone started buzzing. "Let the wedding festivities begin, right babe?" Sid asked then kissed her briefly on her lips and rolled out of bed.

"Right," she claimed as she succumbed to the incessant buzzing and answered her phone. She couldn't complain though, Sid managed to calm her, she had a spa afternoon with her bridesmaids, and she could see the ass of the man she will be marrying and that just made her happy.

*****
The day was anything but relaxing. The spa only had enough technicians to work on three girls at a time which made their afternoon of getting pampered a little stressful. They were all finished with only an hour to get them to CiCi's parents to change, settle in and venture on to the ceremony site for the rehearsal.

The actual rehearsal lasted ten minutes, which seemed a bit too short for CiCi's liking. She hoped everyone remembered where they were told to go and who they were walking with because she couldn't. During dinner she felt on edge, but continued on greeting family that was invited and trying to appear calm on the outside.

"Not to sound like a broken record, but relax babe," Sid whispered into CiCi's ear as he was passing by her while she spoke with one of her aunts and cousin. CiCi smiled and reached back to give his forearm a squeeze.

Dinner ended shortly after and CiCi barely had a chance to say bye to Sidney as she was being swept away to her parents' house for the night. Sid would return to their hotel room by himself. She watched as he waved to her while she walked away. It was then, as the nerves began again, that she understood how he calmed her. She always knew he did, but that didn't stop her from admiring him from afar then. It helped ease a bit of her anxieties. What could go wrong when he was around?

It was nearly midnight when CiCi heard her phone buzzing by her head. She was wide awake, too wired to try to sleep. She grabbed her phone before the vibrations on the wooden tabletop woke Taylor who was sleeping soundly on the other side of CiCi's bed.

"Hello?" She whispered into the phone.

"Hey you're still awake," Sid stated in a whisper as well.

"Can't sleep."

"I figured. Come outside."

"What?"

"Come outside," Sid repeated. She quickly climbed out of bed, eager to see him, slipped on a pair of flip flops and managed to get out of the room without waking her sister-in-law. She didn't have to worry about any other obstacles. The house was dark and silent. Everyone had gone to bed in anticipation of the big day.

When CiCi stepped out onto the porch, Sid was standing on the sidewalk grinning up at her. His hands were tucked away in his lounge shorts pockets and he wore a perfectly fitted gray t-shirt. He was holding a blanket under his arm. "C'mon! I want to show you something."

CiCi didn't know what Sidney could have possibly discovered in her hometown that she didn't already know about, but she humored him anyway and took his free hand in hers.

"This seems cushiony enough," Sid said of the backyard. He let go of her hand, took the blanket and flung it over the grass. Once it was spread out Sid sat down and patted the spot next to him. CiCi obliged and willingly fell into Sid's open arms.

"You have no idea how much you calm me just by being around," CiCi said first. She felt Sid's chest rumble in a silent chuckle.

"Why do you think I snuck over here? It was much harder for me to get around a hotel room full of drunk hockey players."

"Again?"

"Just Nealer and Geno. They cracked open a bottle of vodka to celebrate Geno being my best man."

"Oh my God."

"He's never been in a wedding before."

"He's really staying in Pittsburgh this summer?"

"The economy sucks in his hometown. His parents, brother and girlfriend are preparing to move permanently to the states now. I'm glad he convinced them to do that finally."

"That's good he will have his family close by now."

"Here, lay back with me. I want to show you something." CiCi fell back against the soft earth and watched Sidney as he pointed to the sky. "Stars."

"What about them?"

"This is something I love about here. We can see them."

"How many shots of vodka did you have?"

"One, but that's besides the point. I love being able to see the stars at night. When I walk out of the arena I can't see them. The glow of lights throughout the city makes it hard to see these. But the first time I came here with you and we sat on your parents' porch at night I stared at the sky and immediately thought of home and the lake house and how before we knew each other growing up in different towns in different countries we were staring at the same exact sky. How cheesy am I?"

"You're beyond cheese. But now that you explain it I love knowing we were looking at the same thing."

"Now, can you name any of the constellations?"

"No."

"Well there's Orion," Sid said pointing to a cluster of stars, "and over there is the Milky Way. And the Big Dipper and Little Dipper are over there."

CiCi frantically followed his finger, but then stopped when she realized what he was doing. "You don't know what the hell you are talking about."

"Not even a little bit." She pinched his side and tried to push away from him, but he laughed and gripped her shoulder tighter. He was having fun, and she knew it.

"Remembering names of constellations just to impress a girl," CiCi stated as she settled back against him again.

"MY girl and I don't need to impress you, I just want you to relax and try to sleep." His lips brushed against her temple and she nestled her face against his neck.

"You know me way too well," she mumbled.

"That's why I am marrying you. I know such wonderful things about you that I am intrigued to learn more."

"You came all the way over here just to calm me down and get me to go to sleep?"

"I wanted to see you too."

"How did I get so lucky?"

"The question is: how did I get so lucky? Oh I know how I got lucky, but I was able to convince you afterward to see me again. That was amazing."

"You know I have hot mess moments."

"I love those moments best. It keeps me on my toes."

"More so than hockey?"

"Yes."

"I love you so much!"

"I love you more. Now just relax, I'm not going anywhere." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and tightened his grip around her. She did exactly what Sid asked and found herself drifting off in his embrace.

"Tomorrow will be perfect," CiCi whispered against his chest. He nodded, knowing she couldn't see him and smiled. It would be perfect. He let CiCi fall asleep then he wrapped her up in his arms and carried her back to her bedroom. It was a bit of a hike, but she was sleeping soundly and he could lift her thin frame. He got her into bed and was almost undiscovered when Taylor sat up.

"What are you doing?" She asked quietly. He shushed his sister, pointed to CiCi and waved at her as he closed the door and left to return to the hotel.

*****

CiCi took a deep breath, focused her attention on the floor and turned around to face the mirror behind her. She sighed, and felt tears well in her eyes. The hair, the makeup, the birdcage veil looked fantastic. The dress hugged her curves perfectly and she had room to breathe. She just needed her gold heels and everything would be set. She avoided looking at her mother and her wedding party. They all stood behind her in their mismatched blue lace dresses, her mother standing out in a gold dress that matched CiCi's shoes.

"You look perfect sweetie!" Diana gushed as she walked to CiCi with outstretched arms. Their embrace was brief, but full of love.

"Thank you Mama," CiCi said quietly.

"How do you feel?" Caroline asked as she knelt down to help CiCi with her shoes.

"I'm great. Taylor isn't back from getting photos with Sid yet?" CiCi asked. She needed to know how he was doing. They promised each other to have no communication with each other until the ceremony itself. They knew it was a bit extreme, but it wasn't like CiCi was sitting around with her phone nearby waiting for a text or call from Sid.

"I'm right here!" Taylor said as the door to the bridal suite swung open and she ushered her mother in.

"How's he doing?" CiCi asked as they closed the door and came further into the room.

"Sid? He's a nervous wreck," Taylor approached CiCi with a smirk on a her face and a little bag in hand, "From the groom."

"He's not nervous at all. Don't listen to Taylor. You look so beautiful Ci," Trina hugged CiCi and stepped back to see what Sidney had gotten her.

"We told each other no gifts," CiCi said as she took a seat on the edge of the bed. She laughed though, because she had managed to sneak a gift into his shoe bag when she brought their clothes up the week before.

"He said he loves the cufflinks. He actually has them on with his suit." CiCi smiled. She had a set of cufflinks custom designed with his number on one face and his initials on the other. She made sure to keep them simple, so they were made out of a titanium metal and could be used for any occasion.

"Oh good!" CiCi pulled out a folded piece of paper from inside the small bag and unfolded the makeshift card Sidney scribbled out.

'Dear Ci,

Today I have never been more confident in any decision I have ever made. When I asked you to go out to dinner with me two short years ago, I knew then that you were the perfect woman for me. All those months, days, and moments leading up to today have been nothing short of extraordinary, and you have reminded me time and time again why I fell in love with you in the first place. You truly and honestly are a beautiful person inside and out, and I probably don't tell you this enough.

I think that it is normal for most people to have cold feet before they get married. I feel that it is completely understandable as marriage is such a life altering commitment. However, this is a feeling I will never get to experience. As I am writing this letter, rather than being scared of what the future will hold or what could have been without you, I am sitting here completely content with how my life has played out. If I could live my life one thousands times over, I can honestly say I would not change a thing. You truly are the single greatest thing that has ever happened to me (don't roll your eyes because it's true). From the moment we met I seemed to have this feeling about you. It's that feeling that has kept us together through so much in our time together. It's that feeling that has kept us together through sickness and through good health, in such incredibly good times and some not so great ones. In moments of weakness and moments of happiness. The feeling is love and I love you Cesira Barsi.

So you can consider this a preemptive "I do," because, let's face it, my vows are nowhere near as eloquent as yours are. So these are mine. This is my promise to be true to you in good times, and in bad, in sickness and in health. It's a promise to love you and honor you all the days of my life.

Your Husband to Be,

Sidney'

"Tissue, tissue, tissue!" CiCi squealed and felt the soft material touch her fingertips. She dabbed at her eyes as the gift bag lay forgotten next to her on her childhood bed. She didn't care what was in it, what he wrote to her was gift enough. She was truly very lucky to get to marry this man, and every doubt, fear, stupid irrational thought she ever had didn't matter anymore.

"Okay, is my makeup okay?" She asked as she stood and looked to her bridal party.

"It's perfect," Maria said and the rest of the girls nodded in agreement.

"Alright, let's go get this show on the road!" CiCi started towards the door.

"Ci! Wait! The gift. He wanted you to have it before the ceremony," Taylor explained picking up the bag and handing it to CiCi.

"Oh! I thought the letter was my gift. It was beautiful," she said as she pulled the tissue paper out. Inside was a small jewelry box. CiCi dropped the bag and opened the box slowly. "Oh my God," she gasped.

"What did he get you?" Diana asked her daughter.

"They are the earrings I wanted for today! We saw them when we went to this vintage jewelry store in New York City to try to match my band to my engagement ring. I called the store after I got my dress to see if they still had them and they were gone! The hunky punk! He was the one who bought them!"

"You're going to swap out your chandeliers for them? They are just studs," Caroline pointed out.

"But look at them! They are the perfect Art Deco studs. They match my ring." Caroline finally looked at the earrings and smiled widely. Even CiCi's biggest critic was convinced.

CiCi swapped her earrings quickly and sighed. She was feeling beyond giddy and wanted to see Sidney finally. Her dream was forgotten and she knew she was marrying the perfect guy. Of course he still suspected her uncertainties even after he comforted her over the dream the day before.

"Alright, now I'm ready to get married," CiCi said.

*****
"You could leave now," Max teased Sid as he stood by and watched Sid secure the his boutonnière to his lapel.

"Funny, how's your fiancé and child?" Sid countered.

"They are outside waiting for this shitstorm to start."

"Alright, alright. It's my wedding not a circus show."

"I'm just picking on ya. Never thought I'd see the day that you would be getting married." Sid smiled and shook Max's extended hand as a call for a truce and a congrats for the groom. "You got a good woman there. If she can tolerate the bullshit we put you through then she is a keeper."

"Yeah. She's amazing," Sid said shyly. He checked his cufflinks to make sure they were in place, tapped his breast pocket to feel for her note to him and turned to Geno, who looked beyond nervous.

"You have both rings, right G?" Sid asked. Geno nodded and tapped his own breast pocket to indicate where the rings were. "Good. You alright?"

"Lots of people. I don't know looking at me."

"Call it a hunch, Geno, but I think they will be looking at the bride and groom more than you," Brandon said.

"I don't want mess up, you know?" The guys all nodded. They understood.

"You won't. We will be there with you," Max clapped Geno on the shoulder to assure him.

"Okay."

"It's amusing me that the Russian is more nervous than the groom," Brandon piped in while the men filed out of the study at CiCi's parents' house. They were led out through the kitchen where the caterers were scrambling to finish everything for the cocktail hour.

Sidney was greeted by his parents when he appeared in the sprawling backyard. A makeshift altar had been erected out of CiCi's parents' wooden canopy. It was covered in wild flowers and a few candles stood behind the minister setting a soft ambience.

"Ready Mom?" Sid asked and have her his elbow. Troy stood on the other side of Trina and the three were cued to walk down the aisle. The groomsmen walked down the side of the rented chairs and lined up at their posts after Sid sat his mother in the front row. His father sat with her and Sid turned to face the guests and wait for his bride.

*****
CiCi watched as her bridesmaids walked down the aisle, hidden from sight behind some cascading floral arrangements. Her father stood next to her, quiet and contemplative.

"Ready, daddy?" She asked softly. She looked up at him and waited for his answer.

He gave her a sad smile and nodded. "Are you ready?"

"Yes, I am."

He leaned down and kissed her cheek and said, "I love you baby girl. You make me so proud."

"Cesira, Joseph, it's time," the coordinator ushered them around the floral display and they lined up with the altar. CiCi looked at her flowers and as everyone was instructed to rise, and the music started, she looked up and beamed. Sidney's expression was priceless. He looked nearly in tears and was smiling bigger than the day he hoisted the cup. She couldn't keep her eyes off him and the closer she got to him the more excited she got for their future.

When they finally arrived Sid mouthed hi which made CiCi's shoulder shake with a little giggle. The minister asked who gives this woman, her father responded and he was kissing her cheek and shaking Sidney's hand. The ceremony was quick, but beautiful. Their vows spoken from the heart, their eyes never left each other and they shared in their moment surrounded by every person that was important to them.

And when the minister said, "I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss your bride." Sidney let go of CiCi's hands, gently took her face in his hands and brushed her lips with hers. It was a modest, yet intimate kiss. And when they broke apart the minister said, "Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. and Mrs. Sidney Crosby!" Cheers broke out, and Sidney kissed CiCi again, pulling her close and securing his arm around her waist. She took her bouquet back from Caroline and walked back towards her parents' house stopping to hug their parents and thank all those who were congratulating them along the way.

The newlyweds quickly escape into the study where Sidney and his groomsmen waited and waited for the guests to file out of the ceremony site and filter into the cocktail tent.

"We did it! We're married!" CiCi squealed and threw her arms around Sidney. He returned the hug with as much enthusiasm.

"I love you, Mrs. Crosby," he said simply.

"I love you too, Mr. Crosby, forever!" CiCi exclaimed. Before their intimate moment could be interrupted they kissed and filled their third kiss as husband and wife with as much promise as their first. This time, though, they were alone and completely invested in each other.

Notes

Sorry for the delay in posting this! I meant to do so before Christmas, but the holidays have been busy to say the least! I hope you enjoy and that you all are having a fabulous holiday with all your loved ones!