We Are Here and Now

It was Friday, two weeks before the season was set to start and CiCi was standing outside the Capital Grille waiting for Sidney to arrive. She knew he wouldn't make it to the church for the rehearsal, but she didn't think he would be late for the dinner. She recalled during their rare morning together that he promised not to be.

She was turned, watching the downtown traffic inch along Liberty Avenue, feeling her blood boil when she heard a car pull up and an attendant rush to claim the car for valet. She spun around just as she heard Sidney being addressed as Mr. Crosby and felt a little relief.

"What the hell, Sid?" She asked, all her frustrations in him pouring out. She walked in the direction of the car and waited for him to join her on the sidewalk.

"Sorry! Our meeting ran late, pushing practice back an hour then I had to get my calf massaged."

"I knew that cramp overnight would bother you today." She still hadn't looked at him as she walked toward the entrance of the restaurant. She was slightly embarrassed to be entering the dinner after it had begun already, but she was in the wedding so she needed to be there.

"Yeah, well..." Sid followed close behind his wife, pressing a protective hand into the small of her back as she led the way through the door.

"You are pushing yourself too hard." CiCi was exasperated with him all of a sudden. She knew he liked to be uber ready for the season, but for some reason he was stressing his body out even more than usual.

"Okay." Sid didn't know what else to say. He knew she had a reason to berate him. He also knew he wanted another cup.

"You have the weekend off?" She asked with a bit of stress in her voice.

"Yes. I let them know I would not be around until Monday. Coach told all of us to take the weekend to rest," Sid explained. He knew the weekend was important to CiCi.

"Good."

"No kiss?" He poked at her side as he sidled up next to her.

"No," CiCi whirled around and finally looked at Sidney, "Oh my God, Sidney! What happened?" She reached for Sid's shoulders and pulled him close to her.

"Stick to the chin. It's just a rash. It will be fine." Sid winced slightly as he felt CiCi's fingers brush gingerly around the tender skin.

CiCi looked at him incredulously.

"Really, it could have been another puck to the mouth. I got hooked and started to fall, but as I fell Ian's stick got my chin," he explained.

"Babe." CiCi wasn't believing the story and felt another rant about being careful coming on.

"I didn't lose any teeth. I didn't need to sit in the quiet room. I was checked, don't worry." He put his hands on her shoulders and held her at arm's length.

"I'm always going to worry," CiCi mumbled as she leaned into his hand that started to caress her cheek.

"Yeah, well I kinda like that you worry about me," Sid showed CiCi his infamous sideways smile and felt her crack a little.

"I kinda like having you in one piece. Stick burn or no at least it wasn't anything worse."

"Am I forgiven for being late?"

"Of course you are." She slid her hands around his neck and pecked his lips gently, but he deepened the kiss and moaned softly against her. They knew they were causing a small scene, but they were somewhat secluded from the main dining area and the banquet room that they were about to enter.

When he pulled away he smiled broadly and with a chuckle said, "When these people get a look at your date then the whole fiasco of being late will be forgotten."

"Smart ass," CiCi pulled did close again, "Let me fix your tie." She straightened his appearance for him, kissed his chin and turned toward the door to the banquet room where the rehearsal dinner was taking place.

But as they started through the closed door, the door swung open and Caroline came running out. She looked in distress and was crying. Sid and CiCi were stunned.

"Wasn't that the bride?" Sid asked.

"Yes, it was. I'll go," CiCi started.

"No, let me. Go find out what is happening." Sid spun on his heel and followed after the fleeing woman. CiCi nodded knowing it would be better than having Sid in the room with a bunch of people he didn't know.

"Care! Wait!" Sid shouted from the street when he saw her walking in the direction of Market Square.

"Go away, Sid," she mumbled as he caught up to her. He ignored her plea and grasped her arm to stop her from moving.

"What's wrong?" Sid asked quietly.

"I can't...I can't do it. I can't marry Tom. I've put it off for so long, I can't do it." Caroline was shaking and blubbering through her tears.

"Okay, okay, that's fine. You don't have to," Sid said as he draped his arm across Caroline's shoulder. "You have to be happy, and if you aren't happy with Tom you shouldn't marry him."

Caroline rested her head on Sid's shoulder and sighed, "Thank you."

*****
CiCi was standing with Maria and Julia looking as perplexed as ever. Tom was chomping at the bit, wanting to go find Caroline and bring her back. Derrick wasn't letting him though. The party was at a standstill while communication with the bride was lost.

"I thought she was happy, she never let me believe that she didn't want to be with me," Tom whaled to his groomsmen, all of whom were sitting nearby the three bridesmaids waiting to hear from Sid.

"Seriously, what the hell?" CiCi asked.

"She stood to say a few words and looked at Tom, said I'm sorry, and ran." Maria shrugged her shoulders at CiCi with nothing more to say.

"That's it?" CiCi asked, not believing her.

"Yep," Julia injected with a sad tight lipped smile.

"Well, maybe Sid can convince her to come back. This is Care and Tom we are talking about here." Cici tried to sound convincing, but even she knew it wasn't working.

"I know, it's weird to think of one without the other," Julia piped in.

"Oh, here's Sid," CiCi looked at her phone as a text came through. She quickly read it aloud, "I've got Care at Starbucks. She doesn't want to come back."

"Ask him which one," Maria said.

"He said the one at Market Square."

"We should go and talk to her," Julia said.

"You two go. Walking for me is getting harder to do," Maria said as she gestured to her protruding belly.

"Hold on, he's calling me," CiCi quickly pressed accept on the call and listened.

"Where are you going then?....Okay, I'll get her purse....No, Julia and I will meet you at home...Mo may make it...Should I tell Tom this?....Okay."

"What did he say?" Julia asked as CiCi ended the call.

"I have to make an announcement," CiCi walked over to where the bride and groom had been sitting, grabbed Caroline's purse and then took a knife to the water goblet to get the party's attention. "EXCUSE ME!" She shouted. "Hi, everyone. I'm CiCi, the matron of honor. I want to thank everyone for being here this evening and wish that you continue enjoying the meal that is being served. The bride has asked me to apologize for inconveniencing each of you this weekend, but that there won't be a wedding tomorrow."

"No shit," Tom mumbled. He clambered to his feet and followed CiCi and the girls out into the main restaurant. "Where is she? I have to talk to her."

CiCi turned and looked at Tom. He was a mess. His hair was askew, his tie loose, his sleeves rolled up. She felt pity for him because all he ever did was love Caroline. He spent half his life living for her and doing anything in his power to make her happy. He didn't ask for her to run out on him in front of their families the night before their wedding. "Sidney is taking her to our house. But please wait until the morning to show up. I'll let you know when it is good to come over and talk."

Tom nodded his head vigorously. He understood that CiCi was just protecting the pair from doing anything rash. While calling off the wedding and losing out on thousands of dollars because of it was extreme, if Tom hoped to win Caroline back he needed to listen to the woman who knew her better than him.

CiCi and Julia began to walk out when Maria got their attention. "The other guests. We have to contact the other guests."

Apparently going home wasn't in the cards just yet.

*****
"What did you and Ci do last weekend?" Caroline asked out of nowhere as Sid drove her towards his house outside of the city.

"Uh...we went to an art exhibit she was excited to see in Toronto on Friday eveningthen roamed the city Saturday. We came home Sunday." Sid kept his eyes on the road, but his mind wandered to the little trip he sprung on his wife at the last minute and how she was still talking about it a week later.

"See? You surprised CiCi with that and you guys actually did something. Last weekend we watched reruns of Big Bang Theory and went grocery shopping. We never do anything spontaneously. We don't go out. We used to, but now all Tom wants to do is stay at home."

"Staying home isn't a bad thing. CiCi and I only really have the summer months to do anything spontaneous, so we seize the moment. During the season we are homebodies."

"But that's different. You are like that so you can rest, but Tom is like it because he is boring."

"That's why you left?"

"No. Not all of it."

"Then tell me."

"It's stupid."

"C'mon Care. You're my wife's best friend. You girls were my first true friends not affiliated with hockey in any way."

"To be perfectly honest, I am completely envious of you."

"Me?"

"And CiCi. And how easy you two make your relationship work. I mean seeing the two of you together I would believe you've been together for twenty years and not two. I was jealous of Ci when she met you, how she met you, and how completely absorbed you two were with each other. No relationship should be that amazing. It only happens in movies, or in books or on TV. But you two are living it."

"Our relationship is far from perfect. We fight. We get on each other's nerves. Hell, she was pissed when I was late for dinner tonight. I think it was more because she was nervous about your reaction though. And if you recall we broke up for a short time."

"And then you flew to France and won her over and the two of you have had this incredible relationship ever since."

"I don't even know what I'm doing half the time."

"But you never appear that you are lost."

"Care, every relationship is going to be different."

"I know."

"Can I be honest?"

"Yeah."

"I'm envious of what you have with Tom. I wish some days that my job would let me be home every evening and on every weekend. I would love to just spend time at home, watching television and relaxing."

"You don't want to be a hockey player anymore?"

"Oh God, no! I love what I do. Plus, I have no other skills. I'm trained in nothing but hockey."

"You never had another job?"

"No, never. I played hockey all my life. I was drafted at 17, and was on the roster that fall."

"Not even in high school?"

Sid glanced at Caroline with a little arch in his eyebrow. "Of course not in high school."

"No. So, you can imagine how inferior I feel around all of you girls and guys."

"Uh, what?"

"You know, because I don't have the same education as you."

Caroline listened to this and began to laugh. And not just a little, courteous laugh. A full on belly laugh with her head thrown back and tears stinging the corners of her eyes.

"And now I'm embarrassed for admitting this to you. Hell, I've never even told Ci this before."

"Sidney! You don't even know how absurd that sounds. You have no idea how ridiculous you are being."

"Oh really? I'm ridiculous? You just ditched Tom at your rehearsal dinner."

Caroline stopped laughing abruptly. Sid immediately regretted saying anything.

"Oh God, Care. I am so sorry. I didn't...I didn't mean it..."

"No, it's okay. You're right. But I just can't go through with it."

"You don't have to. It's fine."

"You are incredibly intelligent, Sid. You may not have a college degree, but you are gifted, talented, and you have no reason to feel inferior around any of us."

"Thanks, Care."

"Now, can I stay with you guys while I figure my life out?"

"Ha, yeah. You can. Keep Ci company while I'm on road trips."

"I can do that!"

*****
CiCi was exhausted when she finally made it home. The bridesmaids took it upon themselves to contact all guests to inform them of the cancelled wedding so that the parents could tend to other matters. She made it through the garage, looking forward to crawling into bed with Sid and sleeping in the following day. The called-off wedding meant that the entire weekend they were free to be together. No hockey interruptions.

She wondered how Caroline was doing, and felt badly that she didn't rush home to comfort her friend. She hoped that Care was resting because she knew her friend would be having to face a lot of angry people the following day.

Instead, she could hear voices and laughter coming from the family room when CiCi got into the kitchen. She followed the laughter and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Sid and Care sitting on one of the couches laughing hysterically, both holding a glass of wine in their hands. The bottle practically empty on the coffee table.

"Uh, hi," CiCi mumbled softly, afraid her anger may come out.

"Ci! You're home! Where have you been?" Sidney asked as he placed his wine glass down and smiled up at his wife. CiCi didn't respond. Instead, she took in the sight. Caroline was no longer in her dress, opting to raid CiCi's closet for some shorts and a white t-shirt. Sid was in his dress pants, his undershirt and had kicked off his shoes and socks. Both were facing each other on the couch. If CiCi hadn't known any better, she would have suspected that the pair had been having an intimate conversation.

"What...what's going on?" CiCi stuttered. She shifted her purse up onto her shoulder and placed her hands on her hips.

"We were just chatting about our childhoods. Care was telling me about the time you took scissors to your bangs and butchered them," Sid stifled a giggle and care finally turned to look at her friend with a grin on her face.

"You've been here. Chatting. Drinking wine. Having a nice evening while I stayed behind and called every...single...guest to tell them that you called off the wedding at the last minute?" CiCi was fuming now and she wasn't going to hold back.

"It wasn't like that Ci, honestly," Sid tried to defend Caroline.

"You stay out of this!" CiCi pointed at Sid. "Do you have any idea what you've done? Not only have you completely ruined the best thing to happen to you, but you've just cost your parents thousands upon thousands of dollars! And here you are, having a lovely evening, drinking my wine, chatting with my husband, while I stayed behind to try to keep the peace between your family and Tom's!"

"CiCi, calm down. Sidney offered me a drink because I was panicking."

"Bullshit. You are a selfish little bitch. Why would you even get to this point if you weren't happy? Why string Tom along? You know he still fucking adores you, although I can't see how."

"Ci, that's enough," Sid said. He stood and tried to get in front of CiCi to entice her out of the room.

"You hurt so many people tonight. You have done so much damage." CiCi looked around Sid to speak.

"I know." Caroline gulped the last of her wine and looked down at the empty glass in her hands.

"Oh you do? Then why? Why do it?" CiCi refused to let the little pity party break her.

"Because." Caroline collapsed back against the couch.

"That's not an answer."CiCi got around Sid and advanced towards Caroline. Sid was gripping her upper arm to hold her back.

Caroline jumped up and stepped back from the pair in the room. "Because I want what you have!"

"What?" CiCi slacked at this admission.

"I want the passion and excitement and thrill that you two experience. I wish I had met my husband in a bar and was so goddamn attracted to him instantly that I needed to be with him right there. I'm tired of the monotony that comes with Tom. It will never change with him. I can't do that anymore. I love him. I do. But I can't deny that I am no longer in love with him. And I thought that maybe after we are married that things would change. That a spark would return. But his first thought after marriage is having kids and settling down even more. I can't be ready to settle down. I want to experience the world and I know I won't do that with him."

"So what are you going to do?" CiCi eased up and felt Sidney's grip do the same.

"I don't know. I haven't thought that far ahead," Caroline shrugged.

"Care, you can stay here. I told you that," Sid interjected.

"Thank you, Sidney." CiCi looked between her husband and her best friend and immediately felt uncomfortable.

"I'm going to bed," CiCi declared, turned and stormed off toward the stairs. She lingered at the bottom of the stairs and strained to listen to the hushed conversation in the other room.

"I'm sorry she's acting this way," Sid said sincerely.

"No, it's fine. I get it. I can go crash at Mo's. But she's about to burst so I don't know if they will want to have me around when that all goes down."

"Yeah, well the offer still stands here. I'm gonna go check on her. You know where the guest rooms are, just pick one."

"Yeah, okay. Thanks again Sid."

"Yep."

CiCi scurried up the steps and ran to their bedroom before Sid could catch her eavesdropping. She managed to slip into the walk-in just as Sid followed behind into the master.

"So how was the rest of the evening?"

"Shitty. Tom is a mess. His parents got into a fight with Care's parents. None of them would help me, Jules or Mo call guests. It was miserable. It seems as though you two are best friends now."

"Ci, she just ran out on her wedding."

"I know." CiCi struggled with the hanger and the plastic bands to keep her dress in place.

"She said to me that she admires our relationship. And can you blame her? We are pretty damn awesome." Sid tried to lighten the mood just a bit, to let CiCi know that Caroline did what she did because she wanted what they had.

"I know she's my best friend. But Tom has been around for twelve years! He's become one of my closest friends. I feel horrible." She turned to place her earrings and necklace in her jewelry drawer.

"But again, we're awesome." Sid knew his attempts were lost on her.

"I mean we are entirely different people. To go and say she wants something like what you and I have? How does she even know that sort of relationship will work for her? I've always been a bit more independent than the rest of them."

"I would think that Jules is the most, considering she lives alone in a different state."

"Cleveland is not that far, and in certain she's a lesbian."

"WHAT?" Sid screeched.

"No, she's not. She had sex with Bortz before he got traded. I'm just...I don't know. I don't know how to feel. Should I feel sorry for her? Should I not feel sorry for Tom?"

"I would support them both and remember that we are awesome. Now can I get you undressed so we can go to bed and not go to sleep?" Sid came up behind her, grazed his fingers across CiCi's shoulders and felt the silky material of her slip on his finger tips.

"I'm too wired for sex. My mind wouldn't be into it." She brushed past him, threw the slip to the floor and slipped his discarded t-shirt over her naked breasts.

"Alright, way to kill my boner." He meant that in both her actions and words. He let his dress pants drop to the floor and wandered to the bed to help remove the decorative pillows in just his boxer briefs.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! We can have sex. Come on. Let's have sex." CiCi came around to his side of the bed and sat on the edge, making it a challenge to push the duvet down.

"I'm not going to have sex now, knowing you will only be half invested in it." Sid was slightly hurt, she never seemed to deny him sex.

"Sid-ney!" CiCi whined as she collapsed on top of the bed. Sid managed to push her to her side of the bed and climb into his own.

"How can you make this evening seem about you?" Sid asked as he ignored his half-naked wife squirm on the bed. The question he posed made her stop and sit up.

"What?"

"I just mean that you are making this seem so inconvenient to you. Not once did you consider how Caroline feels. That was pretty shitty of you."

CiCi's heart raced as she listened to her husband. He was right. She knew it. But she couldn't admit it. She watched as he turned out the lights and lie down on his side facing away from her. Now she knew she was screwed.

Notes

So sorry for the immense delay! I have no excuses, but thanks to all of you who kindly nudged me along to get this update ready! Enjoy! Let me know what you think! Thanks, dolls!