"Ugh" I yawned, opening my eyes groggily. I turned over on my side, closing my eyes shut tightly. I regretted every drop of wine I had last night; it was way too much. I laid in bed for a moment, consumed in thoughts. The whining of Aveyah was screeching through the baby monitor, disrupting me from my peaceful sleep. I head began to throb, my stomach lurching slightly. Holding it back, I bolted for the toilet, letting out a fresh spew of vomit into my just cleaned toilet. I sat on the floor for a moment, before collecting myself and rushing to see Aveyah.

"Hi baby" I smiled to her. She was crying, standing up in her crib, wanting out. I picked her up, placing her on the changing table. "Why'd you have to wake mommy up so early, hmm?" I teased her, checking the clock in the nursery; 6:30 am. I hadn't gotten to sleep until two on the morning; and then is when last night hit me.


"You know, Addie. There's something I've wanted to tell you" he all of a sudden became serious. I tried my best to maintain a serious face, nodding so he would continue.

"What is it?" I asked curiously. He lifted his head off my shoulder and gazed deeply in my eyes.

"I- I never stopped loving you" he told me. I looked at him, a little surprised. "I know, I know. But hear me out" he continued, wanting me to hear him out. "Jon is the luckiest guy in the world. You're amazing Addie; you're smart, talented, beautiful and a wonderful mother... I never should have let you go, and everyday I wish Ryder and Aveyah were my kids..." He trailed off, finally meeting my gaze once more. "I know you're married to Jon but I just- I couldn't hold it in any longer" he finished, searching my eyes. I was frozen in shock; I didn't know how to respond.

"I-" I tried to start, but was cut off by the connection of his lips to mine.


Patrick had kissed me. Not only that, he confessed he was in love with me. The conversation played on repeat over and over again, never making more sense to me. Patrick was still in love with me? But what about Jon? I felt I cheated on him; I had to come clean.

Would Jon be mad? I knew it was only one kiss, but I felt as if I just betrayed him. My anxiety began to rise, my heart thumbing a million miles a minute; Patrick and I would have to talk about it.

"There's a new fresh bum" I smiled, kissing her cheek. I slipped her back into her pyjamas, and took off to Ryder's room. I walked in, Patrick and Ryder sitting Indian style on the floor playing with his favourite, mega blocks. "Morning" I smiled despite feeling like a truck had just hit me. Patrick looked up his eyes red and puffy; had he been crying?

"Morning" he smiled, averting eye contact. He opted to stare at the weird creation Ryder had formed. I sighed, setting Aveyah down to join the pair.

"Pat?"

"Yeah?"

"Can- c-can we talk about- last night?" I chose my words carefully, trying hard not to let tears escape. I didn't want to hurt him; I really didn't. I loved Patrick, and cared for him so much; but was I IN love with him? I loved Jon; he was my soul mate; he was the one for me. But Patrick; he had something special. He was amazing with the kids, and devoted almost all of his free time to our every need.

Was it so wrong to kiss Patrick? Would Jon be mad? I hadn't so much as touched another guy since the beginning of our relationship; was I a dirty cheater?

"Addie, look" he got up with a sigh. "I don't want to scare you off by what I said" he informed me, taking my hands in his. "But I really do love you Addison. I know you love Jon, but I just couldn't hold it in. I hope you can forgive me and I didn't cross a line" he frowned, hanging his head in shame.

"I forgive you" I told him smiling.

"That easy?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow in confusion.

"Pat, you can't help how you feel. I won't say I'm not in love with you, because I'm not sure. I know I refuse to lose you, no matter what. I don't think I could be standing on my two feet without you" I pulled him in for a hug. He rested his chin on my head, as we slowly rocked back and forth.

"I'm sorry to stress you out Addie" he whispered to me softly.

"Pat, you aren't stressing me out" I confessed. It wasn't stress it was pure confusion. I couldn't deny Patrick was a great guy. We had great sexual chemistry, we shared a lot of interests, he was good with my kids, he was helpful, kind, always knew when to make me laugh, always there for me when I needed him.. he was perfect. I shook my head, trying to shake the thoughts from my mind. I made a choice to marry Jon; I took a vow to be with him through everything, regardless of how tough and rough it was.

"Are you sure?" He asked biting his lower lip.

"Positive" I smiled meekly.

"You hungry?" Pat asked once he pulled away and our conversation died off. He seemingly accepted my answer of me not being stressed about what he had told me. He looked a little happier than he had this morning; I was glad I didn't break his heart too badly.

"Starving" I answered, rubbing my tummy. "I was sick this morning, but in feel like I could eat a horse right now" I heard my stomach groan with hunger.

"Cracker Barrel?" He asked with a smile.

"Oh my god, yes!" I exclaimed excitedly.

"Glad youre on board" he laughed. "Ryder is changed and ready to go; looks like Aveyah just needs some clothes on and we can go" he scooped her out of my arms and took her towards her bedroom. "Get the diaper bag ready!" He called, disappearing from view. I yelled back my answer and began collecting the baby necessities.

My head was spinning, my hands trembling; Patrick meant what he said last night; and this morning. I knew exactly who I needed to speak with; Abby. The boys had a game later tonight, their morning skate being optional. We'd drop Patrick off on the way home, and depending on how well behaved the kids are, take them to see Patrick play. Little Ryder adores watching his uncle Patrick on the ice. He attentively watches every game, wearing his Kane jersey with pride. Aveyah and I both sported the jersey of Jon, I'm spirit of him waking up and returning to the Hawks.

"You ready Patrick?" I yelled, Ryder running full force towards Aveyah's room. I caught up to him quickly, sternly grabbing his hand and leading him into the room. "Look who's having trouble now?" I asked with a smirk. Aveyah was not in any mood to have her pants out on; typical baby girl.

"I may need backup on this one" he admitted, throwing his hands in the air in frustration.

"Here" I laughed, rolling my eyes. I gently placed both legs in her pants by a little force, finishing off her outfit with some baby converse. I knew she would out grow them faster than she could wear them but I couldn't resist; they were too cute.

"That's how it's done!" I smirked, tickling her sides lightly. She laughed in hysterics, both Patrick and I taking turns tickling her sides. "We're set then" I told him, holding up the diaper bag beside me. He scooped up Ryder, carrying him down the stairs, 'fire men's carry' style. He laughed the whole way down, egging Pat to do it again.

"Again! Again!" He shouted, hitting Patrick on the chest.

"Ryder, use your manners" I scolded trying to put on my shoes with a baby iN my arms.

"Pwease again?" He asked more politely.

"I can't say no to that face" Patrick broke down. He scooped him back up racing him up, and then back down the stairs. "But that's in for now buddy" he informed him after setting him down. He pouted, but accepted it regardless.

It was going to be a great day, I felt it. But all day I knew the conversation Pat and I had the night before would haunt me all day; and I wasn't looking forward to it.

Notes

Poll: in your opinion, is what Addie did cheating on Jon? Despite him being in a coma, and perhaps a chance of not making it. Just would love your thoughts!