No Place I'd Rather Be...
The Pranks
Prank 010: The Dinner Text
Dinner Somewhere with the Team
Unknown
Agents: Sharp (Brains Behind the Idea); Seabrook (kind of); Kane; Shaw; Saad
Victim: Toews
As everyone knew, Patrick Sharp always loved pulling pranks, and one of his biggest targets was the young, superstar and Captain of the team, Jonathan Toews. Anyways, the Chicago Blackhawks were having a team dinner in Boston one night. While Jonathan was in the bathroom, Sharpy decided to pull one….
Jonathan sat between Brent Seabrook and Patrick Sharp. Andrew Shaw, Brandon Saad and Patrick Kane also sat at the table. They chatted amongst each other about the other teams and players in the league.
Suddenly Jonathan rose to his feet and walked off. He headed toward the direction of the bathroom. Sharpy watched him vanish into the bathroom. Immediately he snatched up his phone, as he had conveniently and idiotically left it behind on the table, and turned to Brent.
“Hey, gimmie your phone!”
“Why?”
“I want to try something!”
“You’re going to pull a prank on Tazer again aren’t ya?”
Sharpy reprogrammed his phone, interchanging a girl's name with Brent Seabrook's name without changing the actual numbers.
“Why don’t you use your own number?”
“Because Tazer’s smart and knows my number.”
“True.”
“This is gonna be good!” Andrew slyly smirked, tapping the ends of his fingers together, sinisterly.
“Sharpy, don’t pick on Jonny!” Patrick Kane stated, bravely. He stabbed at his food and started to eat a bite, when he paused, feeling the stares of the others on him. He put his fork back down and closed his mouth, looking at them. He blushed bright red in his cheeks. He tried to hide it, but it was impossible.
“Why not?”
“Because he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t deserve it either.”
Jonathan came back to the table and sat down. He resumed eating, oblivious to the others. Everyone had their eyes on him, as Sharpy secretly used Brent's phone to send Jonathan a text saying that this girl "needed to talk to him," that "it was urgent...that she was pregnant."
The Captain reached for his phone, as the screen lit up. He seemed to read the message and slumped down in his chair for a bit and looked very bewildered.
Everyone curiously gazed at him, as he got back up, this time taking his phone with him.
He left to go outside and give the girl a call.
Sharpy spun around and watched him, holding Brent’s phone in his hand. He gave Andrew and Brent a look. “Watch this!”
When Jonathan selected the girl’s name on his phone list, Sharpy picked up Brent's cell phone and said, "Get back in here...Your steak is getting cold!"
Jonathan’s face flushed pale white and he angrily stomped back in toward the table. Sharpy was laughing hard, with the others. The young Captain took his seat once again and shook his head. “Oh, Sharpy…” He folded his arms and frowned.
****
Prank 011: Picking on Kazer
Team Hotel
Columbus, Ohio
Agents: Sharp; Seabrook
Victim: Toews; Kane
Patrick Sharp turned to Brent Seabrook and smiled at him. They shared a silent communication with one another.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Pick on the kids?”
“Well, Seabs, they’re not really kids anymore.”
“Sharpy, they’ll always be kids to us. Now what do you have in mind?”
“I was thinking about pranking them, like old times. I was thinking we could mess around with them a little...after all everyone knows about “Kazer”, right?” Patrick Sharp inquired, smugly grinning like he was up to no good.
“Kazer?”
“Kaner plus Tazer...Kazer.”
“Oh. Yeah, we should sneak into their room and set ‘em up.”
“Like what?”
“How about we make it look like one of them is cheating...?”
“I’ll do it! Kaner’s my bestie, I don’t mind making out with him a little bit and making Jonny jealous.”
“You’d make out with a puppy,” Brent laughed and slapped his friend on the shoulder gently.
Sharpy frowned. But soon they reached an agreement and a plan and headed out of their room and across to where Patrick and Jonathan were spending time together. If they were playing on the same line once more, than it only made sense that they would also room together. And they didn’t mind it, knowing that they wouldn’t spend a lot of time together and that they wanted to make every moment last that they had together. Soon they’d be broken apart yet again.
“They aren’t in here, come on.” It was Brent who told Sharpy. Sharpy was busy fixing himself up and really milking the moment. Brent rolled his eyes at his friend and shook his head. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Hey, you want this to be good right?”
“Alright, I’ll let you get yourself ready. I’m going to go hang in the bathroom and have the camera on and rolling!”
Sharpy stripped his shirt and messed his hair up a little. He stood to the side of the door, while Brent went into the bathroom and made sure to stay out of sight, while still managing to be able to film and have a clear shot of the scene.
Soon Patrick and Jonathan entered the room. Sharpy jumped out and hugged Patrick, screaming, “Kaner baby! I missed you!” Sharpy kissed Patrick, silencing him. He pinned the blond’s arms to his side and groped his butt. Patrick wasn’t happy with it. He tried to shout for Jonathan.
The older brunette man pulled Sharpy off of Patrick and shoved him toward the bed.
“What the hell, man?!” Patrick gasped, wiping his mouth.
“Yeah, what the hell’s wrong with you, Sharpy?” Jonathan demanded, putting an arm around the winger. The blond snuggled against him, calming down.
“I just thought it would be funny to prank the two of you, given that you are a couple, right?”
Patrick looked at Jonathan with big worried blue eyes. The Captain combed his fingers through the blond’s hair. He glanced back at Sharpy. “I guess the secret’s out. But Sharpy, please don’t tell Duncs or coach. No one can know. And don’t EVER do that shit again, you hear!”
Sharpy rolled his eyes. “Please Jonny, you’re making it too obvious, if you were anymore stuck together, Duncs would have find out moons ago!”
“Yeah, Jonny, it’s not entirely a secret!” Brent stated, walking out from the bathroom and cutting the recording of the camera.
“What? You were in the bathroom this whole time!? Ugh, whatever. Just get out of here and shut up! I promised I’d pleasure Kaner.”
Patrick nodded, biting his lip in a cute way. “Jonny’s gonna fuck me finally!” He sounded very excited and eager. He received a naughty pat from Jonathan.
“Whatever. Just keep it lowkey though. But I care about both of you, even if I prank you. Seabs, let’s go. Delete the footage and forget about it. Let’s leave ‘em alone.”
Brent nodded. He did as told and both men left the two lovers together, alone in their room.
Dinner Somewhere with the Team
Unknown
Agents: Sharp (Brains Behind the Idea); Seabrook (kind of); Kane; Shaw; Saad
Victim: Toews
As everyone knew, Patrick Sharp always loved pulling pranks, and one of his biggest targets was the young, superstar and Captain of the team, Jonathan Toews. Anyways, the Chicago Blackhawks were having a team dinner in Boston one night. While Jonathan was in the bathroom, Sharpy decided to pull one….
Jonathan sat between Brent Seabrook and Patrick Sharp. Andrew Shaw, Brandon Saad and Patrick Kane also sat at the table. They chatted amongst each other about the other teams and players in the league.
Suddenly Jonathan rose to his feet and walked off. He headed toward the direction of the bathroom. Sharpy watched him vanish into the bathroom. Immediately he snatched up his phone, as he had conveniently and idiotically left it behind on the table, and turned to Brent.
“Hey, gimmie your phone!”
“Why?”
“I want to try something!”
“You’re going to pull a prank on Tazer again aren’t ya?”
Sharpy reprogrammed his phone, interchanging a girl's name with Brent Seabrook's name without changing the actual numbers.
“Why don’t you use your own number?”
“Because Tazer’s smart and knows my number.”
“True.”
“This is gonna be good!” Andrew slyly smirked, tapping the ends of his fingers together, sinisterly.
“Sharpy, don’t pick on Jonny!” Patrick Kane stated, bravely. He stabbed at his food and started to eat a bite, when he paused, feeling the stares of the others on him. He put his fork back down and closed his mouth, looking at them. He blushed bright red in his cheeks. He tried to hide it, but it was impossible.
“Why not?”
“Because he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t deserve it either.”
Jonathan came back to the table and sat down. He resumed eating, oblivious to the others. Everyone had their eyes on him, as Sharpy secretly used Brent's phone to send Jonathan a text saying that this girl "needed to talk to him," that "it was urgent...that she was pregnant."
The Captain reached for his phone, as the screen lit up. He seemed to read the message and slumped down in his chair for a bit and looked very bewildered.
Everyone curiously gazed at him, as he got back up, this time taking his phone with him.
He left to go outside and give the girl a call.
Sharpy spun around and watched him, holding Brent’s phone in his hand. He gave Andrew and Brent a look. “Watch this!”
When Jonathan selected the girl’s name on his phone list, Sharpy picked up Brent's cell phone and said, "Get back in here...Your steak is getting cold!"
Jonathan’s face flushed pale white and he angrily stomped back in toward the table. Sharpy was laughing hard, with the others. The young Captain took his seat once again and shook his head. “Oh, Sharpy…” He folded his arms and frowned.
****
Prank 011: Picking on Kazer
Team Hotel
Columbus, Ohio
Agents: Sharp; Seabrook
Victim: Toews; Kane
Patrick Sharp turned to Brent Seabrook and smiled at him. They shared a silent communication with one another.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Pick on the kids?”
“Well, Seabs, they’re not really kids anymore.”
“Sharpy, they’ll always be kids to us. Now what do you have in mind?”
“I was thinking about pranking them, like old times. I was thinking we could mess around with them a little...after all everyone knows about “Kazer”, right?” Patrick Sharp inquired, smugly grinning like he was up to no good.
“Kazer?”
“Kaner plus Tazer...Kazer.”
“Oh. Yeah, we should sneak into their room and set ‘em up.”
“Like what?”
“How about we make it look like one of them is cheating...?”
“I’ll do it! Kaner’s my bestie, I don’t mind making out with him a little bit and making Jonny jealous.”
“You’d make out with a puppy,” Brent laughed and slapped his friend on the shoulder gently.
Sharpy frowned. But soon they reached an agreement and a plan and headed out of their room and across to where Patrick and Jonathan were spending time together. If they were playing on the same line once more, than it only made sense that they would also room together. And they didn’t mind it, knowing that they wouldn’t spend a lot of time together and that they wanted to make every moment last that they had together. Soon they’d be broken apart yet again.
“They aren’t in here, come on.” It was Brent who told Sharpy. Sharpy was busy fixing himself up and really milking the moment. Brent rolled his eyes at his friend and shook his head. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Hey, you want this to be good right?”
“Alright, I’ll let you get yourself ready. I’m going to go hang in the bathroom and have the camera on and rolling!”
Sharpy stripped his shirt and messed his hair up a little. He stood to the side of the door, while Brent went into the bathroom and made sure to stay out of sight, while still managing to be able to film and have a clear shot of the scene.
Soon Patrick and Jonathan entered the room. Sharpy jumped out and hugged Patrick, screaming, “Kaner baby! I missed you!” Sharpy kissed Patrick, silencing him. He pinned the blond’s arms to his side and groped his butt. Patrick wasn’t happy with it. He tried to shout for Jonathan.
The older brunette man pulled Sharpy off of Patrick and shoved him toward the bed.
“What the hell, man?!” Patrick gasped, wiping his mouth.
“Yeah, what the hell’s wrong with you, Sharpy?” Jonathan demanded, putting an arm around the winger. The blond snuggled against him, calming down.
“I just thought it would be funny to prank the two of you, given that you are a couple, right?”
Patrick looked at Jonathan with big worried blue eyes. The Captain combed his fingers through the blond’s hair. He glanced back at Sharpy. “I guess the secret’s out. But Sharpy, please don’t tell Duncs or coach. No one can know. And don’t EVER do that shit again, you hear!”
Sharpy rolled his eyes. “Please Jonny, you’re making it too obvious, if you were anymore stuck together, Duncs would have find out moons ago!”
“Yeah, Jonny, it’s not entirely a secret!” Brent stated, walking out from the bathroom and cutting the recording of the camera.
“What? You were in the bathroom this whole time!? Ugh, whatever. Just get out of here and shut up! I promised I’d pleasure Kaner.”
Patrick nodded, biting his lip in a cute way. “Jonny’s gonna fuck me finally!” He sounded very excited and eager. He received a naughty pat from Jonathan.
“Whatever. Just keep it lowkey though. But I care about both of you, even if I prank you. Seabs, let’s go. Delete the footage and forget about it. Let’s leave ‘em alone.”
Brent nodded. He did as told and both men left the two lovers together, alone in their room.
Notes
D'awwww.... Kazer. :P
Pranks!! <3
Next up: More Fred being a creeper and stalking Kanerboo...
So this is the real Keith Ballard, in case anyone was interested:
Kinda evil, isn't he? I swear, I had no idea about him before creating the killer character. Then I just hear the name "Keith Ballard" during a Lightning game and....woo-la! Imagine the laughter I had...man. That's like me guessing my roommates real middle name. ;)
He also reminds me a little bit of Bur (Adam Burish)...but BUR IS BETTER!! :D
12/10/14