Sure Feels Right

I had no idea what was up with me lately, but my self confidence was at an all time low. I questioned everything I wore and my hair never did what I wanted it to. I changed four or five times, just trying to look good for Robert but he always told me I looked better naked. Typical guy answer.
"No seriously. I don't see any of that whenever you're standing in front of me naked. I think about where I'm going to kiss you first. Clothes just get in the way." He say on the bed, waiting for me to get dressed so that we would be able to maybe go to Market Square and walk around before he went to workout.
"So all that Victoria's Secret I have is a waste of money?"
"No, I really like that." He smirked. Cheeky.
It usually wasn't bad at all, but apparently I was just having one of those days.
I was sitting at the kitchen table, blasting music as I tried to figure out my schedule for my first semester in grad school. The classes I wanted to take, didn't fit in the schedule together, and of course my advisor was not being helpful. At all.
I was on the verge of tears so naturally, I grabbed the bag of smarties from the cupboard and started unwrapping them before checking my emails once again.
Robert walked in and threw his bag down by the door. It pretty much lived there lately. He grabbed a bottle of water before sitting across the table from me. I had shoved two rolls of candy in my mouth while he stared at me.
Without saying a word, he got up and took my hand, bringing me to our room. He pulled back everything but the sheet while I got in. He took off his jeans and hoodie and climbed in next to me. He kept his distance, but was still close.
"What's wrong?" He asked softly.
"Nothing. Why?" Before I could even reach for it, Robert held out his hand so I could trace the lines of his palm. I don't know why I started doing this, but now it calmed me down. Gave me something to concentrate on besides whatever was going on in my life.
"Whenever you're about to cry, you rub your nose like you have to sneeze. I have no idea why, but you do. And you can put away like half a bag of smarties when you're upset. I guess you can when you aren't upset, but you usually take your time eating them. If you haven't realized, Scarlett, I know everything about you. Well, pretty much."
I wouldn't say anything, or look him in the eyes. He was right, but I didn't want to have to accept the fact that someone knew me almost as well as I knew myself. That always freaked me out. It meant I wouldn't get away with anything.
"Tell me what's going on."
"I just don't feel good enough to be going to grad school or marrying a pro athlete. I just feel like I should be super smart. Or a barbie."
"When a girl gets married, who is the main person they want to impress when it comes to their fiancé's family?"
"Uh, his mother?" I mean, there is a movie called Monster in Law. It was just kind of known that they are usually evil in some shape or form.
"My mother loves you and probably cares about you more than me. Everyone loves you, Scar. The team? Well they think you're a bitch, but love having you around mainly because you never know what's gonna come out of your mouth. Geno likes having someone to talk to and not worry about messing up. I could go on for hours, I really could." I sighed, as much as I wanted to believe what he told me, I couldn't.
"Okay."
"But you need a nap because we're going to dinner with Beau and Drew and you can't make her cry again." I rolled my eyes and flipped over to my stomach. He lifted up my shirt and started tickling my back, helping me go to sleep.
Way to spring information on me at the last minute, Rob.
"Why do we always go out to eat?" Drew whined and I secretly hoped I would not see her again until after all these pregnancy hormones left her body.
"Because your boyfriend can't cook and he's having Robert withdrawals." I casually said as I looked over the menu. Beau's eyes practically burned through my menu, which only made me smile.
"He's my best friend."
"That you see for almost two hours every day. My best friend lives in a different country, get over it."
"Get over it," he mocked me, "Robert, your fiancé is a bitch."
"Yeah," he laughed, "But she's mine."
After the waitress brought me the margarita I ordered, I was a much friendlier person. Yay tequila!
"So when's the wedding?"
"End of June." Robert answered, "It's up in Vancouver."
"When are you two tying the knot?" I asked innocently, but in the back of my mind, I knew that it would upset Beau.
"Good question." Drew pursed her lips and shot a dirty look to her baby daddy, who was glaring at me.
Messing with Sunshine was probably my favorite thing to do. He always took it so seriously which made it ten times better. He dropped some cash on the table and left to talk to Drew just a few feet away
"We really need to start planning the wedding," Robert told me as we waited for the waitress to bring back his card. Both of us looked at the couple arguing about who knows what.
"Yeah. We really do."
"Do you want to hire a planner?"
"No, I can do it if you'll help me." I finally looked at him when he was concentrated on figuring out how much to tip. He phone started ringing and he answered without taking his eyes off of the piece of paper he was signing.
"Hello? Seriously? Great. Scarlett too? Oh, if I'm doing this, she is too. See ya." He slipped his phone in his pocket and turned to me. "We got nominated for the ice bucket challenge so guess what we're doing tomorrow morning?"
"Do I have to?" I whined. Cold water and mornings were not things I enjoyed.
"You can pick who we nominate."
"Fine," I huffed, grabbing my bag from under the table. We got over to where Beau and Drew were standing and waited for them to stop arguing.
"Dude, we're leaving. See you tomorrow."
I waited until we were in the car to ask, "Do they always fight?"
"Lately, yes. Have they always? No. I think they're both a little stressed, but they should calm down once the baby gets here." He held out his hand, palm up, for me to hold while he drove us home.
Getting out of bed the next morning was even harder than usual. I get that this was for a great cause and it was better than jumping in a freezing lake in February, but I would prefer to just donate the money. I tried. I really tried, but Robert was making me do this.
"Get up," Robert shook my shoulder, trying to wake me. I rolled over to the middle of the bed, wrapping myself in the comforter. "Scarlett, if you do this now, it'll wake you up and we can go do something."
"Fuck you." I mumbled.
"After you pour some freezing cold water on you."
"Robert."
"We can do whatever you want after."
"Like go back the fuck to sleep?"
"If that's what you want.."
"It is."
I grabbed one of his t-shirts from the drawer and tucked it into the front of my shorts before pulling my hair into a high pony tail and walking down to the driveway. One of our neighbors filmed us putting the ice in the buckets.
"We are nominating Patrick Kane, Evgeni Malkin, and Beau Bennett."
At the same time, we poured the water over our heads and I tried not to swear while the camera was going.
"Alright, we're good."
"Holy fuck that's cold. We had to do this in the morning? Are you an idiot?" I stormed in the house to dry off and change into some warmer clothes.
"You're a piece of work," Robert laughed, entering the room shortly after I did.
"Yeah, well I'm a frozen piece of work now, asshole." I mumbled, climbing into the bed, taking up as much space as I could. I wasn't sure if my fiance would be joining me and I didn't really care. I was crabby, cold, and tired. I was going back to bed for at least two more hours.
I got out of bed, walking into the kitchen to find Robert making pancakes, even though it was almost lunchtime. When he saw me next to him, he flicked a bit of pancake mix in my face.
"Asshole." I hip bumped him.
"Brat."
He went to the fridge to grab something, but closed the door, empty handed.
"We're out of eggs and milk. I'll be back." He pressed his lips to my forehead and left.
Thirty minutes had passed by and he still hadn't made it back. I didn't want to be that girlfriend, but I was starting to worry. The grocery store wasn't that far away. He really should've been home by now..
"Hello?" I answered the call from an unknown number.
"Mrs. Bortuzzo?"
"Umm, sure. Who is this?"
"I'm from the UPMC. I'm sorry but there's been an accident. Robert has been severely injured and doesn't have much time."
My phone dropped from my ear to the floor. I looked down for a second to see the screen shattered. I left it there while I searched for my keys and drove to the hospital, praying that he would be okay.
I got to the hospital and ran to the lady at the emergency room desk, "Robert Bortuzzo. I'm his fiancée." I tried to keep my composure talking to her, but it didn't work that well.
A nurse came out of the double doors to the right of me. Her expression said it all, "I'm sorry."
"No. No, this can't be true. This can't be happening."
"I'm sorry." She kept repeating, like it would bring my dead fiancé back. I collapsed on the floor, sobbing. I was making a huge scene but I think everyone would understand.
I never was one to have nightmares. But when I did, they were horrible. Like wake up screaming and crying, horrible.
Tears were streaming down my face and I was screaming. I felt the bed next to me, only to realize I was the only one in the room. Fuck. That wasn't just a dream.
"Rob." I called out, hoping he would answer. "Robert!"
I finally got out of bed and ran down the hall, connecting with a body on my way.
Robert leaned down, hands on my shoulders, looking me in the eye, "Scarlett what's wrong?" When I couldn't stop bawling, he just pulled me in close and let me calm down.
"You died. I thought I lost you."
"I'm here, baby," he softly told me, "Nothing happened. It was all just a bad dream."
I heard him sniffle and even through blurred vision, I could see his eyes were started to redden.
"I'm gonna make you cry," I covered my mouth and started once again myself.
"No, it's not because of you. It's because I hate seeing you this upset. You should've seen yourself. It's heartbreaking."
I wiped the tear that was rolling down his cheek. Seeing a man cry was almost worse than seeing your mother cry. You knew it had to have hurt so much more than you can imagine since it wasn't something that happened often.
"I hope this is the only time I break your heart."
"I love you. I'm here, I'm alive, and I love you."

Notes