Sure Feels Right

Drew had pretty much taken Jay's girl under her wing. I wasn't really surprised. Jay and Drew were really good friends and she was, well, a really good person. This just wasn't my thing. Megan was a nice girl and everything but all the things I want to do, she was to young for. Or too not-my-fiance for.
"Drew's kind of a slut when it comes to this team." I casually told Megan as I ate my chicken. The look on the future Mrs. Bennett was priceless.
"I am not!" She protested.
"How many guys on the team have you kissed?"
"Five." Drew admitted.
"It's a joke, Miller. Calm down. I honestly would have slept with them all, but hey. That's just me." I shrugged. I mean, if I didn't know they were hockey players I would. They're an attractive group of guys, but I still wasn't a fan of any hockey player in that way unless his name was Robert Bortuzzo and I woke up to him every morning. "Megan, you know you can talk, right? I'll try not to be too sarcastic."
"Sorry, you guys just seem to have a lot to talk about."
"How long have you and Jayson been together?" Drew asked.
"Uhh.. Almost seven months."
"Wow. Rob and Scar were engaged at that point."
I shrugged, it didn't bother me that we got engaged somewhat soon, "And you were running away from your somewhat faithful boyfriend... I much prefer being engaged." Okay. That was a bit harsh on my part.
"Thanks, Scar."
"Don't worry about it." I squeezed a piece of lemon into my tea and mixed it in. "Do you ever feel like something is off but you can't tell what? Or like, something bad is going to happen and you just want to sleep so you don't find out what it is?"
"Are you sure you don't just have anxiety?" I really didn't want to be a bitch to Megan, but she's kind of a know it all.
"I'm in grad school to become a psychologist. I think I would know if I had anxiety." I took a drink of my tea, actually finishing it off. Hopefully the waitress would come back to give me more soon. It was keeping me sane. "I don't know. Something's definitely off and I don't know what it is."
After lunch, Drew needed help with a few of the wives association things because she decided after 200 cupcakes, she needed to be more active with them, so she brought us back to her place. Given that Drew didn't have school to worry about, she was able to decorate their house. No expense was spared, either. I feel like Beau just gave her his credit card and helped move everything while she told him what to do. Poor kid can barely dress himself, let alone furnish a house like this.
"First things first," She got out a stack of papers. Goodness. She really needs a life. Maybe she should give Hudson a little sibling. Hopefully another little boy.
"I'm the realist." Megan tried so hard to hide her smile, Drew just gave me a dirty look.
She sighed, not happy with me. "You're not black, Scar."
"Neither is Iggy.."
Right on cue, Robert and Beau walked in with Hudson. I'm so glad I'll be getting out of this. I know it's horrible to not want to be a part of the girlfriends thing but I just don't do well getting to know other girls.
"Scar, we have to go." Rob stayed by the door, leaving it open.
"Awesome. Bye Drew." I grabbed my coat and was out the door before she could protest. "Where are we going?"
"To the zoo."
I gave him a funny look, wondering what we would be doing at the zoo other than you know, look at animals. "Okay."
I don't know what was so much fun about the zoo, but I really loved it. The one in Pittsburgh wasn't anywhere near the one in San Diego, but we didn't exactly have the time to go across the country to see some animals. I guess I just loved spending time with Robert. That sounds corny, I know. But when he's busy and stressed with the end of the season, we don't get quality time like we do in the summer.
"What are you making me for dinner?" I asked him as we drove back home.
"Me? I'm making dinner?" He laughed, "I don't know. What do you want?"
"Barbecue sounds fantastic."
As much as I tried, I couldn't shake that feeling. I went to the living room and grabbed my homework, bringing it into the kitchen so I'd be with Robert as he cooked.
"I have to run to the store, I'll be back in a few." He kissed my forehead and left me to slip through my planner. Looking ahead, I realized that not only would the next week be busy with papers, but I would also be getting a gift from mother nature.
"That's weird," I mumbled, "It's been a while." I opened the app on my phone I used to track things like this. I was normally good about keeping it up to date, but right now it said I was a month late. No, this can't be happening.
I ran to the bathroom, tearing apart the drawers trying to find the ept I had left over from when Taylor thought she was pregnant. It wasn't there. After giving up, I fell to the ground and started crying. I know a baby was supposed to be a blessing, but I wasn't ready to have children. It was only my second semester of grad school and I'm only 23. I have plenty of time for kids.
Robert came home and must have worried when I wasn't in the kitchen but all my books were. I could hear him calling my name, but I stayed on our bathroom floor crying.
"Scarlett," he started getting closer. "Scarlett, are you in there?"
"Yeah," I managed to choke out. He opened the door and his face dropped.
"What's wrong?" He sat down next to me, pulling me onto his lap.
"I'm late. Really late."
"That doesn't necessarily mean you're pregnant, Scar," his voice was soft and comforting as he played with my hair, "It could be stress or something else. Don't worry until we know for sure. Even then we'll figure out something, okay?"
"Okay."
"I'll go get a pregnancy test. Go drink a couple glasses of juice or something." We stood up and he took me in his arms. "Everything will be okay, I promise Scarlett. We'll hire a nanny if we need to."
I had no idea how he was so calm in this situation, but I was thankful for him. He was my saving grace in times like this.
"Take one and if it's positive, take the other later." He handed one to me and leaned against the counter. Those few seconds of waiting were pure torture. But from what I've heard, the longer it takes for the results to pop up, the less likely you're pregnant.
"It's negative." He didn't say anything. He pulled me close to him and let me cry into his chest.
"Shh. It's okay. Everything worked out."
"No it didn't. Robert, I know how much you want a child. I feel like I'm taking that away from you." He grabbed my shoulders and leaned down to look me in the eye.
"Scarlett, listen to me. I want kids but I will not force you to have them when you aren't ready. I'm more than happy to wait until you're ready."
As much as I wanted to give him a family now, I wanted to work on my career first. I knew that Robert wasn't going to leave me, but I wanted to make sure that I had something to fall back on in case something happened.
Curled up on the couch after eating dinner, both of our phones were blowing up. Mostly his, but once he read the first text, I knew exactly who was texting me.
"Beau proposed." Robert stated. I'm guessing he already knew.
"Oh good."
"Aren't you happy for them?" He scrolled through more messages, looking for any that would have some sort of relevant news.
"I think Beau is an idiot and will probably fuck up in some way." Gotta keep that brutally honest rep up.
"Probably. He really loves her though, he wants to make this work. Any time they have a big fight, he freaks out. She's his world, but he should probably know the consequences to his actions."
"I don't have anything against him he just has a little growing up to do. Still."
"Jay's girl is pregnant."
"That poor girl." Rob gave me a funny look, wondering why I said that. "Oh no. I don't mean it like that. It's just that she wants to be a doctor and she's only a sophomore and you can't be a mother and go to med school."
"They don't know if they are keeping the baby." He almost whispered. I didn't have to ask what he meant, I already knew.
"Oh." I honestly felt like I was shot in the chest and didn't know why. It's not like we were close, but there were other options. Maybe she would keep it, though.
"He's going to try to convince her to keep it. He's head over heels for the girl, but he doesn't know if that's enough to make her stay."
"I feel like there's a question for me coming."
"You wanna go help them sort things out?" I got up and slipped on a pair of shoes and pulled on a sweatshirt.
"I want tacos." I told him as we walked to his car.
"We just-"
"Tacos."
He laughed, "Alright. I'll get you some tacos."
We all sat around Jayson's kitchen table. Olli was in his room playing xbox or playstation, which I don't blame him. I wouldn't want to be a part of this either.
It was tense while I finished my tacos. Everyone just watched me as I slowly unwrapped and consumed them.
"I'm not a psychologist or a therapist or anything. I'm a grad student who knows a lot of shit so don't quote me on it. But here's what I know. Megan is pregnant but doesn't really want to keep it because you know, dreams and stuff. Jayson- Hold up. If y'all get married she's going to be Megan Megna. That's awesome." I started laughing before someone cleared their throat and brought me back to reality. "Sorry. Jayson wants her to keep the baby."
"Or just think about it."
"Okay. I can see where both of you are coming from. I mean I would be starting a family if I didn't want to finish grad school and become a psychologist first. But just from sitting here, I know that Jay loves you, Megan. I mean, a baby is just going to throw things off for a while. Jayson, what's more important to you right now?"
He immediately answered, "Megan. I don't want to lose you over something like this. I understand if you want to terminate the pregnancy, I just want you to think about it."
"What are you thinking?" I turned to her, she was staring at the table with her dark blonde hair hiding her face. She stayed silent for a while. I'm sure there were a million and two things running through her mind right now. "Before you say anything, know that everyone in this room is going to support you through whatever you decide."
"I want to keep it, I really do. I wouldn't mind starting up a family with you," her voice started to shake, "I just don't know what to." And here come the tears. "I'm just so scared either way."
Jay squeezed her hand, "It's up to you."
"How far along would you be?"
"The test said a little under two months." Man, those are some fancy tests. "I'd have to go in to know for sure."
"Then you have time to decide. You can give it a day, you can give it a week. Just think about it for a while, okay?" I'm sure it was weird seeing this side of me. Everyone knew it was there, but not many got to see it.
"Can I talk to you, alone?"
"Yeah, of course." We went out to the balcony and looked over at the city lights.
"I'm scared. I love Jay so much, but I don't want to give up my dreams."
"You don't have to. There are so many ways to make this work without terminating the pregnancy. I'm sorry if I seem like I'm trying to persuade you to keep it, but you need to know that is exactly what you want before you make the decision. He's going to love you no matter what, I think he's just scared that if you don't keep the baby, you'll leave him too."
"I won't." She quickly told me.
"Then tell him that. Be brutally honest. There's a reason I am. If I'm not, people won't know what I want. He's a great kid, Megan. This is just a bump in the road. You'll be fine." I reassured her. At least she stopped crying. Without telling me, she walked inside and asked Jay if they could talk it out.
"Ready?" I looked to Robert who was leaning against the kitchen counter.
"Yeah, see ya later."
"Call me if you need anything."
As soon as we were in the elevator alone, we started talking. "Think they'll keep it?"
"Yeah, I think she wants to."
"He really just wants to keep her." He noted.
"Yeah, I figured. That would be a hard situation."
"I love you." He squeezed my hand, smiling down at me. Damn height differences.
"I love you too."

Notes