Stay, Stay, Stay

"Do you want to talk about it?" Max asked softly. I sat on the edge of his bed while he was perched on the desk chair. It was the first thing he'd said since arriving in his shared hotel room.
"I don't know," I looked down at my hands, one hand pulling at the fingers of the other. "I don't really know what to say," my head rose slowly, almost involuntarily, and my eyes locked with his. "It just seemed like the best thing for him."
"And for you?" he inquired, getting up from his chair and settling on the bed beside me.
"I'll get over it," I tried to smile. "I just need to forget it ever happened."
"I guess that's one way to do it," he teased and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. Under any other circumstances I'd feel unsettled and awkward resting my head against his chest and inhaling the musky scent of his cologne, perhaps it was a mixture of alcohol and desperation, but I felt an overwhelming sense of comfort with my body against his. A comfort and safety I hadn't felt in nearly a week.
"Do you want to order room service or something?" he asked, squeezing my shoulder. It was a platonic action of affection more than anything, but his hands on me made my stomach flutter and a warmth spread throughout my body.
"No," I looked up at him. I had run out of tears, my emotions dried up, and mind exhausted of thought. I needed to feel something other than hurt. Could I feel anything but loneliness and despair? Was I capable of it?
"We could get a movie," he suggested, oblivious to the thoughts that ran through my mind.
"No," I whispered and shifted so I was facing him, my hands on his thighs and my face inches from his. "No movies," I crept closer to him, seconds passed like hours until my lips were finally pressed against his. His arms cradled my body against his and for a moment I was able to let go of the anxiety that had made a home within me. Kissing Max was different, not better or worse, just different. His lips were softer, but their movement rough and eager. His tongue against mine was stronger, dominating but comforting. My palms flat on his chest I pushed him back, still straddling his lap. I reached back and pulled the elastic out of my hair, it cascaded over us, creating a curtain around or never separating faces.
"Are you sure you want to be doing this?" he asked, breathy and excited.
"Absolutely," I moaned rocking back and forth against the bulge in his jeans.
"Good," he flipped our bodies so I was underneath his daunting frame. one of his hands slipped under my shirt and towards my right breast. One of his legs positioned between mine while his lips attacked my neck. The heat rose inside me and I could feel the wanting override the perpetual sadness. My hands on his back, under the soft fabric of his shirt I relished the feeling of his flushed skin, the muscles underneath flexing as he moved against me. One by one his fingers undid the buttons of my top until it fell open and I slipped my arms out of it. Not wasting any time he pulled his shirt from behind over his head and threw it off the bed. I admired his toned, solid chest and abdomen, resting my hands on his hips just above the elastic band of his boxers that peaked from under his jeans.
"Je te désire," he whispered, letting his lips brush against mine
"Alors, prends-moi," I bit my lip and looked up at him with wide eyes, my chest was heaving in anticipation. He grinned wildly and set to work unbuttoning the five buttons the stood between him and my black lace underwear, the pair I'd been dying to take off all night. I tipped my head back and let myself get lost in his touch, amazed that I had just told Max Talbot to 'take me'. Take me, as if I was in any mental state to be offering myself up. I felt his fingers dance over the damp black lace and my breath hitched. He pulled my jeans over my hips and down my legs until they were off and crumpled in a pile on the floor, my uncomfortable underwear with them. His head below my waist, fingers teasing me, tracing the excited entrance. I let out a quiet moan of frustration and quickly felt his mouth pressed against me, warm, moving, humming against the sensitive skin. Neither of us spoke, his attention seemed focused on the folds and nerve endings in front of him. There was no doubt in my mind he'd done this before, skilled, calloused fingers pushed gently inside me and just the right angle, twisting and flexing to find the perfect spot. The spot that would help me forget. It didn't take long, he knew what he was looking for, knew exactly what to do when he got there. A bent finger, come hither motion took me one stop closer. Mouth and fingers working seamlessly forcing my muscles to tighten, a building pressure in stomach, head, every part of me on edge. And then it happened, the flooding, buzzing, muscular spasm, welcome relief of both physical and emotional tension. It was nothing I hadn't experienced before, a biological reaction to stimulation, something I'd done to myself a number of times, but it was different.
His head reappeared from the darkness of between my thighs, a subtle, self-congratulatory smirk on his wet lips, and crawled up my body, pressing them against mine. I kept my eyes tightly shut, in part because the world around me was spinning, but mostly so I didn't have to see who was on top of me. Because as attracted as I was to Max, I didn't want to lock eyes with him and know he wasn't....
"Très belle," he whispered, voice was husky and his breath hot on my neck as he kissed his way down to my collarbones.
"Take off your pants," I interrupted his journey to my breasts. I didn't need the sensual caresses or strategically placed kisses. I needed the weight of his body on top of me, forcing the hurt out of me. He did as I asked and I felt the bed shift, heard the clinking of his belt hitting the floor, and felt him return to me.
"Are you on something?" he asked cautiously.
My eyes fluttered open and I nodded before wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him down to me. Our lips pressed tenderly together as he positioned himself against me.
"Good?" he asked, nuzzling his face against my neck. I bit back a giggle. Did he think I was a virgin? That I'd never done this before? Or was I too jaded to see that he was doing all he could to make me comfortable with him and my decision?
"Yeah," I choked out, my heart still pounding in my throat from his accomplished display of dexterity a few minutes prior.
Lips back on mine with his hands on either side of my body propping himself up, he moved slowly and deliberately into me. The act itself was typical, the same movement with the same intent as those who came before him, but the sensation was different. Physically it felt good, the pressure of him on me, against me, inside me. It gave me something new to focus on; counting his thrusts instead of counting the hours since I'd made the call. I kept my hands on his back and my mind focused on the feeling because unlike the last person I'd been naked underneath, I had no idea what Max likes. Of course I knew the typical moves, average things, but I didn't know him. I didn't know the map of his body, the story behind every scar, I didn't know if he liked when a girl whispered in his ear the whole time or dug her nails into his back. In terms of normal, everyday sex, I could almost predict how Sidney would react to me at any time. But Max was a new mystery, one I wasn't sure I wanted to discover in the same way.
I could feel his thrusts getting frantic and sloppy, whether I knew him well or not, I knew this was a sign he was close. Not wanting him to reach the finish line without me, I slipped my hand down between our bodies and set to work helping myself catch up. My drunken fingers were uncoordinated and awkward, but managed to achieve my goal and minutes later we lay side by side on the bed breathing heavily and smiling.
"That," Max panted, pulling my body against him. "Was incredible. He buried his face in my hair and sighed. I stared awkwardly at the wall across from me and tried to enjoy the feeling still reverberating inside of me while he spooned my body from behind.
"Do you want to stay the night? I think we'll have the room to ourselves," he kissed my neck lightly.
"No," I pulled away from him gently and sat on the edge of the bed. "I should probably get home." I scanned the room for my clothes and spotted my underwear under the desk.
"Are you sure?" he cooed and propped himself up on his elbows, watching me get dressed.
"Yeah, I have to be at the rink in the morning," I buttoned the last button on my shirt and looked around for my jacket.
Max stood up and slipped his boxers back on before coming up behind me and pressing his body against mine again. "I had a really great time," he whispered in my ear.
"I did too," I turned around and put a few inches of space between us.
"If you ever need anything... like just to talk even, you have my number," he smiled at me, kind eyed and hopeful.
"Thank you," I kissed him gently then left the room, jacket in hand.
I stumbled into the apartment less than an hour later and stripped off my jacket and jeans immediately. I wasn't quite yet sober and although I didn't want to spend the night with Max, I couldn't bear the idea of being alone. The apartment was still, only the light above the stove illuminating the shadowy room. I tiptoed down the hallway and pushed open Serena's door. After too many drinks and a strange one night stand I wanted nothing more than to curl up with my best friend. I pulled off my shirt and without looking dove onto the bed, right onto the solid mass of Geno's body.
"What?" he groaned sleepily.
"Holy shit," I screamed, startled by his presence. I'd expected her to be alone.
"What's going on?" Serena mumbled, flicking on the lamp beside her and rubbling her eyes.
I lay between them, wearing only my bra and itchy lace underwear, face burning with humiliation while Geno roared with laughter.
"I'm sorry," I cried, covering my face. "I didn't know he was in here. I wanted to see you." My words were a bit slurred but still coherent.
"Where the hell did you run off to?" Serena asked, now awake and sitting with her back against the headboard.
"I had sex with Talbo..." I peeked through my hands to see her reaction. I expected disgust, outrage, instead I got a smile.
"I go sleep on couch," Geno declared loudly, slipping out of the bed and pulling his pants on before leaving us alone in the room.
"I'm sorry," I said again, crawling in bed beside her. "I didn't mean to kick your bed buddy out."
"It's fine," she sighed and turned the light off. "So start from the beginning. How did you end up naked with Max Talbot?" she snuggled against me.
"I have no idea."
We woke up to the smell of food cooking and coffee brewing. A rather uncommon thing in our casual household. It was ten in the morning on day six, one more day until the week mark. I rolled over in bed and groaned, wanting nothing to do with the day or the headache gnawing away at me.
"Either I'm having a seizure or someone is making food in our kitchen," Serena said into her pillow.
"I didn't know you could make anything but cookies and cakes in our kitchen," I smiled at her.
"Me neither, whoever it is must be pretty skilled," she chucked and slowly sat up. Her face was slightly puffy, but otherwise she looked radiant. I on the other hand had mascara down my cheeks and a collection of zits forming from a night spent sleeping in makeup. My hair was knotted and pilled on my head with an elastic band and I slipped on one of Serena's hoodies before speeding down the hallway sans pants, through the kitchen, where Geno stood at the counter shirtless, and into my room.
After wiping the day old makeup off of my face and running a comb through my hair, I emerged from my room wearing my old sweatpants with Serena's hoodie and joined the two in our small kitchen.
"If he cooks, I think we should keep him," I joked to Serena, who was only wearing his shirt from the night before.
"Not cook well," he laughed and poured the fresh coffee into Serena's favorite mug. "Is decaf," he handed it to her and kissed the side of her head.
"Thanks," she murmured and rubbed his bareback with her small hand.
"I lived with a guy who uses his blender more than his oven, I'm sure it will be awesome," I laughed, feeling a pang in my heart from my own mention of Sidney.
We sat around the tiny round kitchen table, plates loaded with toast and eggs, and glasses filled with coffee for Serena and water for me. I shoveled eggs into my mouth, I hadn't realized how hungry I was.
"Did you sleep well?" I asked Geno, smirking as I took a drink of water.
"Oh yeah, couch great," he rolled his eyes sarcastically.
"You could have stayed," I shrugged.
"Threesome with drunk and pregnant, sure," he laughed.
"We've fit three people in that bed before," Serena added mindlessly. "Four even." Geno's eyes lit up and he stared at us slack jawed and intrigued. "What?" she looked at him confused. "Oh! Gross! No, not like that," it dawned on her and she swatted at him playfully.
"Well I appreciate you giving up your spot," I smiled at them. I tried not to be jealous of their camaraderie and affection.
"Bette couch than hear Talbo story," he faked a grimace.
"About that," I looked down at my plate and pushed the eggs around awkwardly. "I'd rather no one else hear about that.
"Secret with me," Geno smiled and took a bite of his toast.
We finished the meal making small talk and joking about the night before, it was causal and effortless, the three of us fitting well together. While Geno insisted on cleaning, Serena and I sat at the table enjoying the sight of a half naked hockey player doing dishes.
"So I wanted to talk to you," she said, pulling her eyes away from his muscular back. I noticed him glance back at her and smile.
"I hate when you start a conversation like that. It makes me think I'm in trouble," I scowled at her.
"Don't be a doofus," she laughed. "It's nothing like that, it's just," she took a deep breath and looked back at Geno. "I've decided not to get the abortion." Her face lit up and she smiled like I'd never seen her smile before.
"Really?" my voice cracked. I was shocked, taken aback. After everything she'd gone through I didn't expect she'd change her mind.
"Yeah. I know it's kind of a 180 from where I was last week, but we've been talking about it and the more I think about it the more it doesn't seem so horrible. I mean as far as breeding partners I could do worse," she cocked her head towards Geno and laughed.
"She love me," Geno teased from his spot at the sink.
"No, I like your genetic makeup and what you can contribute to our spawn," she rolled her eyes dramatically.
"She love my money?"
"I love your ass," she giggled and got up from the table to help him.
Watching the two expectant parents made my heart ache. Any forgetting I'd been able to do with Max had been undone and the heaviness returned to every part of me. Days passed and neither of us made any attempts to contact the other. I'd sat with my phone in my hands night after night willing myself to hit call. But I couldn't. Something stopped me from being one to reach out. I kept reminding myself I'd broken up with him for a reason, for his benefit and every I felt temptation creep up I scrolled a little further down in my contacts and found the strength I needed in Talbot, Max.

Notes

So I'm sure some of you aren't super stoked about this turn of events. But please hang in there with me, I promise things go places and such. (How do I say things without spoiling everything?)

I hit over 50,000 reads between Mibba and Hockey Fan Fiction and I really wanted to let you all know that I appreciate your support and reads so much! Thank you :)

xx
-T