Stay, Stay, Stay

When I got on the plane I felt like youtube sensation and all around mindfuck Rebecca Black. Which seat should I take? Was I supposed to stay away from the team? Or would it be rude to sit at the back of the plane? Luckily, Larry was already seated and waiting for me to join him. I settled into the aisle seat and put my carryon bag at my feet.

“What do we usually do on flights?” I asked Larry, carefully keeping my voice at an audible whisper.

“The coaches go over game strategy. some players read, some play video games, I usually fall asleep but sometimes will join the livelier conversations,” he whispered back. “You can do what ever you usually do on flights.”

I pulled out my iPod and oversized headphones from my carryon, thankful that I could spend the flight relaxing. I slipped the headphones on, half expecting an air hostess to come by and tell me to put it away. Scrolling through the song list for a few seconds I tapped to play Dave Grohl’s acoustic version of Walk. I closed my eyes and felt the plane’s rumbling engine as we took off. After a few minutes in the air, Larry climbed over me to join the coaches. I figured I might as well make myself comfortable and pushed the armrest between the two seats up, after undoing my seatbelt I slid over to the seat Larry had been in and with my back resting against the wall I spread my legs out across my own seat. I closed my eyes again and listened to the new song playing through my headphones. Less than five minutes after I’d moved I felt someone touch my leg. I pulled off my head phones and opened my eyes startled. Sid stood in front of me waiting for my response to a question I hadn’t heard.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” I asked looking up at him.

“I asked what you were listening to,” he smiled warmly.

“Oh,” I smiled and looked at my iPod to check, I hadn’t exactly been paying attention to the music. “Mac Miller,” I replied.

“You listen to rap?” He looked surprised.

“I listen to a lot of things,” I smirked, trying to look slightly seductive.

“Can I sit?” He motioned to the seat under my feet. I moved my feet, and sat cross-legged facing him still, he sat down, shifting his body towards me.

“You don’t want to sit with your friends?” I wrapped the cord of my headphones around my iPod and put them both in the pocket of the seat in front of mine.

“You looked lonely over here,” He shrugged, smiling again and making my stomach flutter. “So how long did you live in Philly for?”

“A little less than a year, but I’ve spent a lot of time there,”

“Right, you said your brother lives there. How did you end up in Pittsburgh?”

“After I graduated I didn’t want to move back to Philly.” I took a deep breath “messy break up,” I smiled, trying to keep our conversation light. I had no idea why I said that, and hoped he wouldn’t ask questions.

“Well I’m glad you chose Pittsburgh,” he placed his hand on my leg, “It’s nice to have a female on the team.” His touch was electric and thousands of goosebumps erupted all over my body.

“Me too,” my voice shook slightly, I had’t been so attracted to someone since Millie. I’d been with people since, but no one who made me feel like this, like my senses were on overdrive.

“You’re coming out after the game, right?” His hand stayed on my leg, my cheeks were getting warmer and warmer.

“I might,” I tried to remain cool. “I was hoping to see my brother.”

“Bring him,” he smiled again. “Actually, if he wants we can leave comp tickets for him at the door.”

“Even if he’s a Flyers fan?” I joked.

“We can fix that,” He chuckled.

“Good luck,” I laughed, he moved his hand from my leg and ran it through his hair. I felt a loss at the absence of his touch.

“Did you say you were from PEI?” He asked, changing the subject.

“You ask a lot of questions, Crosby.” I tried to cock one of my eyebrows up but failed miserably. I noticed him blushing slightly, which in turn made me blush again. “I did say that, yeah,” my voice softened looking at his reddened face.

“That’s really cool,” he turned his body to face me even more, his left knee resting on my seat. “I’m from Scotia.”

“I know,” I looked at him amused. “I like Maritime boys,” I winked,

An hour until puck drop, we’d already checked into our hotels and were in the visitors locker room of the Wells Fargo Center. It was all a bit surreal and I tried not to think of it as a Flyers game. It was just a game like any other. I was part of the Penguins staff and therefore had no interest in any other team. Easier said than done. I sat in the dressing room while the guys got ready to take the ice. They walked around in various states of undress, all strong, well built and full of enthusiasm. For the most part I was able to ignore their seminudity, focus on their faces when they talked to me.

“You better cheer for pens!” Geno called from across the room. I glared at him, I didn’t need the whole team knowing I was a Flyers fan.

“Ugh, Bea, gross,” Marc-Andre shook his head in my direction. “I thought you were better than that.”

“If you guys kick some ass we won’t have any problems,” I smirked.

“Don’t worry guys,” Sid walked over to me, we was wearing tight spandex Under Armor that clung to his muscles, I shivered involuntarily. He sat down and put his arm around my shoulder. My body was electric again, his heavy arm pulled me closer to him, he smelt faintly of sweat and cologne. “Bea’s a smart girl, she knows who the better team is.”

The game was lively and passionate. Two of NHL’s biggest rivals were head to head less than 5 feet in front of me. It was no surprise when Scott Hartnell and Deryk Engelland squared off at centre ice. Punches were thrown while the crowd went wild and the players beat their sticks against the boards. Five for fighting a piece and the scoreboard said 2-1 Flyers. Andrew’s seat was right behind our bench, every so often I’d look back at him and smile, clad in his Winter Classic Giroux jersey he was having the time of his life. Crosby’s goal tied the game and we went into the third on even ground. More than a few fights, but no serious injuries, it was anyone’s game. Malkin’s goal and the Penguins were in the lead with 5 left in the game. The seconds ticked by, interrupted by commercial breaks and icing class, I watched anxiously. I wanted them to win, I didn’t to spend the night celebrating, I was imagining the celebration when time went out and the buzzer sounded. Pittsburgh won 3-2 and the boys cheered, hugging each other and making their way off the ice.

Andrew met us in the corral after everyone had changed. The corral was where the visiting team boarded the bus and occasionally met with fans. I breathed I sigh of relief when Andrew walked in carrying his jersey instead of wearing it. He made his way over to me and pulled me into a tight hug.

“That was one hell of a game!” He said into my hair, still hugging me.

“I’m glad you could come,” I smiled letting go of him.

“I can’t believe you’re working for an NHL team,” he looked me up and down smirking. “I always knew you’d make it in the big leagues somehow.” He threw his arm around my shoulder effortlessly, standing half a foot taller than me he seemed to tower over me.

The boys came out of the dressing room to greet the small crowd that had formed. Andrew and I were discussing his band’s new album when Sidney walked up to us.

“You must be Andrew,” he held out his hand, my brother took it in his and smiled. “I’m Sidney,” he said as if his name wasn’t known in every hockey loving house hold around the world.

“Nice me too you man, thanks for the ticket,” Andrew said as they let go of each other’s hands.

“No problem, glad you could make it,” Sid looked like something out of GQ magazine, he stood next to me in a perfectly tailored grey suit with a purple dress shirt and black tie. His pants were tight around his legs and bum. I tried not to stare as I looked him up and down.

“We have to get on the bus,” Sid put his hand on my shoulder. “But it was great meeting you,” he smiled at Andrew and walked towards the bus.

I hugged my brother again and told him to text me if he could come out with us. He said he had some work to do but I hoped he’d change his mind. He kissed the top of my head and told me how proud he was, I let go and got on the bus with the rest of the team.

As the only female member of the team I got my own hotel room. I’d expected that I’d be sharing with Larry but Dan told me it was only right that I get my own space. When I walked in the room I kicked off my shoes and pulled off my shirt as soon as the door closed. I had half an hour to get ready to go out and no time to waste. I slipped out of my pants and zipped open my suitcase, searching for the perfect outfit. I considered jeans but remembered Serena’s addition to my packing list and pulled out the black dress. There was no way I would ever admit it to her, but at that moment was thankful she’d slipped it in. I grabbed the underwear she’d thrown in and went to the bathroom to get ready. In record time I’d gotten dressed, pulled my hair down from it’s bun to find it in soft curls presentable curls, and applied just enough makeup. I was grabbing my purse and slipping on my shoes when Geno and Marc-Andre banged on my door.

“Shit!” Geno hissed when I opened the door and stood in front of him wearing the tight black dress, red heels and matching lipstick.

“Damn girl!” Marc laughed. I spun around showing them my outfit and laughed at their shocked reactions.

The club was loud and fill of energy when we walked in. Bass thumping and crowds of people packed onto the dance floor. Sid and Marc went to find a table while the rest of us headed up to the bar. I ordered a Jack and Coke and headed to the table. Geno and Beau Bennett had found a group of girl and were practicing their off ice moves. I slid into the booth next to Sid and took a sip of my drink. He stretched his arm out on the back of my seat and smiled at me.

“You look beautiful,” He leaned down and whispered in my hear, his breath hot against the side of my face. I started blushing again.

“Thank you,” I smiled up at him and moved closer to his body. Across from us Marc was texting someone and smiling.

“Max is coming,” he grinned at Sid and I. I looked at Sid confused.

“Talbot,” he clarified. I nodded in approval and finished my drink. I was enjoying sitting in such close proximity to Sidney and looking forward to meeting one of my favourite Flyers when I saw her from the corner of my eye.

She was wearing tight jeans that hung low on her hips and a black shirt that showed her curves perfectly. Her curly red hair was swept off her face with clips and her eyes were lined with black makeup. My heart sped up and my stomach flip flopped when I saw her. I silently prayed that she wouldn’t notice me. I knew I was out of luck when she turned and headed towards us. My body tensed up and I sat up straighter.

“Trix!” She cried, sliding into the booth next to me. Marc and Sid looked at me confused.

“Millie,” I smiled. “How are you?”

“I’m great,” she leaned in and hugged me politely. “I thought you moved to Pittsburgh,” she looked at me confused, obviously not recognizing either of the men I was sitting with.

“I did,” I responded, smiling. “I’m just visiting.” I purposely left out the part about working for one of the biggest NHL franchises.

“It’s great to see you, I’ve missed you,” she placed her hand on my leg. My body tensed up more.

“Yeah,” I managed to say nervously.

“Can I buy you a drink?” She looked at me suggestively. I held my breath trying to think of an excuse. I couldn’t go down that road again.

“Actually Bea, our cab is here,” Sid interrupted. “We should get going.”

Millie looked at me disappointed and slipped out of the booth. “Another time,” she smiled at us and walked away.

Outside, Sidney and I made our way back to the hotel. It was only a few blocks from the club and the crisp air felt good against my skin.

“Thank you,” I grinned at him.

“No problem, you looked like you needed an out.”

“I’m sorry you had to leave,” I said, we were a few feet from the front doors.

“It’s fine, I’m really not into the club scene.” He opened the door and held it, letting me go in ahead of him. The elevator was waiting for us and we made idle chit chat on the way up, not exactly saying anything, but filling the awkward silence that hung in the air. When we reached the 15th floor I considered inviting him back to my room, but before I could say anything he turned in the opposite direction of my suite and said goodnight.

In my hotel room I pulled off my dress, kicked off my shoes and slumped onto the bed. I wasn’t in the mood to be alone. I’d been looking forward to a night out, but I knew it was safer that I not be around Millie, especially not when I was drinking. We’d been broken up for a long time, and logically I knew that was best, but in times of loneliness I still yearned for her, craved the affection and human connection. I crawled under the covers of my bed and reached for the remote. I flicked the on the TV and clicked through the channels, stopping on ESPN where the highlights of that night’s Pens/Flyers game were playing. I watching Sid’s face on the screen as he celebrated his goal and skate back to the bench. I could see myself in the corner of the screen, a strange sensation washed over me. I was part of a new world, something I’d only ever dreamed of. I felt my throat tighten for no particular reason. I felt alone in my empty room. So used to having Serena and Luna around I’d forgotten what it was like to be completely alone in a room. Maybe it was the letdown of the club or my confusing feeling for Sidney but I couldn’t stop the tears from dripping down my face. I wondered if I should have gone with Millie, just to have one night of connection with someone else. I reached for my phone, half tempted to call Millie and tell her where my hotel was. Instead I tapped the first name under favorites.

“Bea?” Serena answered. “What’s up? I thought you were out with the guys.”

“I was,” I choked out, still crying.

“Woah, what happened?” She asked, her voice thick with worry.

“I saw her,” I sniffled. “And Sid walked me back but we went to our separate rooms, and I’ve had a few drinks, and I’m lonely.” I’d only had one drink, but I wasn’t much of a drinker.

“I’m glad you called me instead of going home with her,” Serena added her voice optimistic.

“I am too.” I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. “Sometimes I really miss her, and I think I like him. But I look at the girls that they talk to, and I’m just not like them.” I looked down and my colourful arms and my gapless thighs.

“I know you like him, and those other girls...” she stopped. “Those other girls are nothing compared to you. You’re right, you’re not like them, you’re smart and you’re your own person. Most of those girls are just in it to say they’ve been with a pro athlete.”

“I don’t care that he’s a hockey player,” I sobbed. “He’s so kind and beautiful and I have no idea why I’m crying right now.” I laughed, my ability to laugh and cry at the same time causing Serena to laugh.

“I know. But you have whole season ahead of you where you can get to know each other better. This is just the beginning. And I can’t predict anything but neither can you. You don’t know what he’s thinking. Maybe he’s having this same conversation with one of the guys.” My best friend’s words were comforting and pulled me back to reality.

“I love you.” I mumbled, wrapping myself tighter in the blankets.

“I love you too, Bea. Now, go wash your face, get a glass of water and get some sleep, this will all feel better in the morning. Call me when you get to New York.”

We said our goodbyes and I dutifully went to the bathroom to take my smudged makeup off. I was filling the glass next the sink when I heard a knock on the door. I was standing in my black lace push-up bra and matching underwear, my hair a mess, left over make up still around my eyes. I grabbed the robe from the hook on the wall behind me and went to the door. I wasn’t expecting anyone, but I assumed that a drunk Geno was on the other side, wondering why I’d left so early. I unlocked the security chain and opened the door to find Sidney standing in front of me. Tall, broad, wearing the same dark jeans he’d been wearing at the club and a white t-shirt. I looked up at him, his hair ruffled, smiling, wrinkles next to his eyes. I shivered for the hundredth time that night and felt a corse of electricity run through my body.

Notes