Stay, Stay, Stay

“Bean, I have a serious problem,” Serena’s voice sang through the phone.
“How serious?” I replied, preparing myself for panic.

“Like mega serious. I bought a sexy lobster costume for the party tonight but I can’t get my boobs in it and I can’t decide if I should ditch it all and go as Sailor Moon again or if I should try to tape them in.” She said everything with a tone of complete seriousness, as if she was telling me her car had just broken down on a freeway and her wallet was stolen by a seagull.

“Did you just say sexy lobster?” I had to fight the fit of laughter that threatened to explode from me.

“Yes, it was the most ridiculous one I could find and Geno’s going as a fisherman.” she sounded genuinely bothered by her predicament. “What are you guys going as?”

“I thought you guys broke up?” I asked, referring to a long conversation we’d had a few days prior where Serena had tearfully recounted the official—and frankly long anticipated—end to the Sereno romance.

“We did,” she sighed dramatically. “Then he got all up in my lady business and I decided that with a tongue like that I was willing to give him another shot. You just can’t let good sex get away.”

“Well it really sounds like you’ve got your priorities straight,” I laughed sarcastically and tried to push the visuals of Geno and Serena doing the nasty out of my mind.

“Shut up Judgey Judy, the vag wants what the vag wants and I am not in the business of denying myself carnal pleasure these days. You’re just jelly because your husband still thinks you came in a box marked fra-gee-ley.”

“Ugh, you have no idea,” I groaned, smiling at her dramatic reponse. “I’m going insane. I tried to sit on the dryer the other day thinking it might be a quick fix but I couldn’t get my leg up. I swear, if Clem told him that eating 3 gallons of dirt would be good for the baby, he’d do it without thinking.”

“You come up with some kind of seduction plan,” Serena laughed and I could hear Geno talking to her in the background but I couldn’t make out what he was saying,

“A seduction plan? Isn’t that a little Cruel intentions?” I snorted. I’d been sitting on the couch for most of the afternoon waiting for Sidney to get home from the rink and a free skate I’d opted out of attending.

“Maybe, but if you change your mind I’ll gladly offer my help if it means fixing your mood.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my mood,” I told her and tried to shift into a more comfortable position. I heard her say something to Geno, her hand obviously covering the receiver making her voice muffled.

“Right,” she snorted. “So about my boobs, will you help me or not?” She was smart to change the subject back to her costume, I was not in the mood to talk about my ever fluctuating emotions.

Serena arrived twenty minutes later armed with her revealing lobster costume in one hand and a roll of duct tape in the other. Without saying a word she headed up the stairs towards our bedroom, obviously ready to get down to business. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen her without a shirt on and I knew it definitely wouldn’t be the last. Refusing to use the duct tape, I pulled out a few rolls of medical tape and an old roll of Kinesio tape from my home medical kit.

“So are we trying to make them smaller or?” I asked, coming out of the bathroom and tossing her a damp facecloth to wipe off any lotion or oils she might have on that would interfere with the adhesion.

“I need them to be up more so they fit into the costume, but I can’t wear a pushup bra because there’s not enough room.” She wiped her chest thoroughly, paying no mind to how strange it would look should anyone walk in. The situation had the makings of a very bad bargain bin girl-on-girl porno.

“Breast augmentation by medical tape, got it,” I motioned for her to hold her boobs in place and sat on the bed with her in front of me, giving me a better view of what we were working with. I began ripping of strips of tape, then applying them along the sides and bottom of her chest. I would like to say we had never done this before, that we hadn’t spent countless hours trying to tape our breasts into perfection before leaving the house, but part of our complicated and long friendship definitely involved applying adhesive fabric to each others breasts, carefully avoiding the nipple.

We didn’t say much, both too focused on getting everything in just the right position. It was a welcome relief, despite having spent most of the day alone I wasn’t in the mood to keep up with a conversation. I was trying to preserve what little energy I had for the party. I needed put on my WAG face and trick everyone into believing I was significantly happier than I actually was. Sid had already offered more than once to skip the even in favour of Netflix on the couch, but I was determined to at least try to enjoy myself.

“Bea?” her voice sounded small as she looked down at me, my hands smoothing the tape on her breast. I felt the energy in the room shift dramatically.

“Yeah?” I stopped what I was doing and turned my face towards her.

“She’d be over a month old now,” the words left her with a slight hesitation and she let out a long breath. “Y’know, if everything had worked out. She’d have been born in September, before the preseason.”

“I know,” I gave her a weak smile and tried to find the right thing to say, something to make her feel okay again. I wasn’t sure what caused her mood to change but my heart ached for her. I understood so well how quickly emotions could change course.

“I feel like a bad person because I forgot. I mean I didn’t forget about her, but September came and went and I didn’t let myself think about it. It’s been six months already and on one hand it feels like it just happened last week, and on the other hand It feels like it’s all a really horrible dream that I can’t shake.” She sat down beside me and let her head fall into her hands. I didn’t move to comfort her, just like the night she came over after the scan, I knew she didn’t want to be touched.

“You’re not a bad person,” I murmured softly.

“I am though,” she looked up from her hands and I expected to see her eyes wet with tears, but instead she was eerily calm. “Your baby is older than she was. And I’m jealous, because she was supposed to be here now, healthy, and alive. She was supposed to be giving Geno and me a run for our money. She would have kept us together. I was supposed to be a mother.”

“You’re allowed to be jealous,” I told her after a few seconds of silence. “What happened to Sara was inconceivably horrible and you’re allowed to feel everything you’re feeling.” I knew I could tell her that it would be okay, and that the pain my go away with more time, that I loved her and if she and Geno were meant to be it would happen. But it all felt like such bullshit. The kind of cliche ‘God’s will’ crap that is supposed to make everything magically better. As nice as it would all sound, it wouldn’t do any good. She was hurting and no one wants to hear that there is a higher power supervising their suffering.

“Are you happy?” she looked at me with stillness in her eyes, hurling the question at me at high speed. I tried to catch it and form an answer in an acceptable amount of time, but it was juggling a grenade that could explode at any moment. Was I happy? Theoretically yes. On paper, absolutely. I had more than most people could dream of, I had every reason to be happy presented to me on a silver platter. So why couldn’t I say it? The only thing I could say with certainty was that I was okay. I wondered if I really knew what happiness was to begin with. I used to carry an almost unmanageable burned with me everywhere I went, an anxious sadness that tainted everything with grey hue and poisoned my mind against itself. And while there was still a hint of its presence, and there were still days I felt too heavy to move, it wasn’t the same. Perhaps it was knowing that I wasn’t alone, or the distractions that came from my new life, but the burden was no longer crushing me. But did that mean I was happy.

“I’m…” I began. “I’m good.” I didn’t know how else to put it. “I’m not jumping up and down loving every second of my life, but I’m good. I’m okay.”

“That’s more realistic, isn’t it?”

“I think so,” I smiled. “Are you?”

“I’m getting to okay,” she nodded. “I’m still alive, and I think that has to count for something.”

Once again we let the silence surround us, both sitting on the bed letting the thoughts drift over us. I wanted to tell her how hard the past few weeks had been, and how scared I was about the weeks to come. But as I opened my mouth the words refused to leave the tip of my tongue. Despite being my best friend, there were now things I couldn’t share with Serena, not after everything that had happened. It was a startling new reality that made my heart ache for the days behind us when everything was in the open.

The spell of silence was broken when Sidney returned home, entering eagerly into the still bedroom and stopping immediately at the door. Our situation no longer looked pornographic so much as it did bizarre. My husband, who despite having only been married for me for two months, was hardly phased by any of my ‘abnormal’ behaviour, and instead of reacting simply nodded at Serena and told us there was chocolate downstairs when we were done.

“Is he even real?” Serena laughed after he’d left us to our project.

“I’ve often wondered that myself,” I smiled to myself.

“We really should go make sure. I think our lettuce sized fetus wants chocolate too,” she grabbed a t-shirt from my drawer and pulled it over her well taped chest. I sat watching her with a grin plastered to my face. As trivial as it seemed, after everything she’d been through she still remembered the vegetable size of the baby, but more importantly she said ‘our’. The idea that even after all the jealousy and pain she still wanted to claim a part of Baby KC left me with a warm feeling throughout my body. Maybe things hadn’t changed as much as I thought.

“You did it, I can’t believe you actually did it. You silly motherfucker!” Pascal roared as Sidney and I walked into Paul Martin’s living room where the team had gathered to celebrate the holiday. He was talking to Sid, pointing at his perfectly put together costume and laughing so loudly it was attracting the attention of the rest of the team.

“I told you I was going to!” Sid replied animatedly. He’d spent weeks on his costume, passing up the chance to be the Paulie Bleeker to my Juno MacGuff, he had assembled the perfect beekeeper costume. Except it wasn’t exactly your average beekeeper, no my husband, in his infinite wisdom, had dressed up as a Bea keeper. A hilarious and mildly humiliating costume that consisted of a tradition beekeeper suit and hat with many of my favourite things pinned to it. He’d planned on keeping it a secret from me, but after I caught him stealing my favourite CDs and fuzzy socks, he finally fessed up. There were pictures of my favourite books taped to the back, a row of mini chocolate bars glued to each his arms, old patches from my favourite punk bands were scattered all over, and two One Direction CDs taped to his legs. He’d even gone so far as to pin tiny Flyers emblems under each of his arms. He wore my fuzzy socks and had accented the suit with pink glitter glue. He looked ridiculous, but there was no doubt that I was drawn to everything featured on the suit, in fact I’d had to stop myself from pulling off a chocolate bar on the drive to the party.

I followed Sid and Serena into the kitchen, doing my best to smile at everyone who greeted us. The above average size house seemed to be full of people and noise. Music came from the luxury stereo with speakers in every room and there was a constant buzz of conversation. Serena made a beeline for Geno, who was already leaning against the counter with a drink in his hand, and before I could blink they were attached by the lips and wrapped around each other. I stood by Sidney’s side dutifully as he made small talk with Coach Dan and his wife. Occasionally I would smile, or laugh when prompted, but engaging in conversation felt like it would take more energy than I had. Thankfully they didn’t seem to notice my silence, and if they did they didn’t mention it. The conversation switched to hockey and I slipped away from his arm to get drinks.

Across the room, the bar was stocked full of expensive booze and coolers of beer sat surrounding it. For a brief moment I envied everyone who had the option to get drunk, but the jealousy quickly dissipated when I felt his little hands and feet flailing inside of me. It was almost as if he was reminding he was still there, and I was silly to be jealous of anyone who didn’t have him growing inside of them. I’d taken to thinking of the baby as only a male, which drove Sidney— who thought it was impossible for me to know by intimation alone— crazy.

“You’re going to be so disappointed if it comes out and is a girl,” he’d tell me, shaking his head. I’d laugh and remind him that I didn’t actually care what biological sex it was, because either way this baby was going to be awesome. But I don’t think he fully believed me.

I snuck behind the bar, fully aware of how strange I probably looked, dressed as a pregnant teenager, with a bottle of dark rum in my hand, and even though I tried not to care what other people might think of me, I still had the urge to loudly proclaim that I was pouring the drink for my husband. I filled a plastic red cup with two fingers of rum and topped it off with half a can of Coke from the non-alcoholic cooler. While I might not have been overwhelmed with envy for people who could drink alcohol, I was definitely missing caffeine. The half full can of brown, sugary, carbonated drink tempted me, but another flurry of movement from inside my uterus reminded me that it wasn’t worth it. Noticing that Sid was still talking shop across the room, I opened the bar fridge searching for some kind of garnish that would take up more of my time. Finding a few lemons and limes, I decided Paul must have forgotten to put them out and set to carefully slicing them into pristine, movie-esque slices. Having assorted citrus wedges available for my fellow party guests wasn’t a necessity, but it gave me something to do. I enjoyed having a set out task that didn’t involve awkwardly socializing or day dreaming about being at home in bed. But unfortunately, cutting fruit didn’t last long and ten minutes later I was once again standing next to Sidney, smiling with a bottle of water clutched tightly in my hands.

We’d moved on to Chris Kunitz and his wife, and after answering a few questions about the pregnancy I once again stood smiling and hoping the conversation didn’t come back to me. According to the clock on the stove, we’d been there for nearly two hours, and I’d yet to get into that party-goer rhythm I used to be able to find easily.

I made the mistake of excusing myself to the bathroom, assuming that Sidney wouldn’t move far from where I left him. But when I returned he was no where to be found. Likely having been whisked off by one of the guys, both Sid and Serena were off mingling in the party, leaving me alone. Perhaps alone is an exaggeration, I was at a party with a group of people I saw on a daily basis and their spouses, but without Sid or Serena to cling to I felt lost. I knew I could join Serena and Geno, who were now cuddled around the fire in the backyard, or find Sidney, but I didn’t want to seem needy and instead scanned the living room for an open seat. Around me everyone seemed to be in conversations, drinks in their hands and smiles on their faces. Even with costumes on, I knew nearly everyone in the room.

“You seem to be getting pregnanter these days,” I heard a voice say in my ear and turned around to find Beau, who was dressed as one-third of the notorious Hansen Brothers from Slap Shot. I grinned at him, relieved to have found someone I could cling to for a few minutes. It took me a second before realizing he was quoting ‘Juno’ and not commenting on my increasingly convex appearance.

“Yeah, I'm a legend. You know, they call me the cautionary whale.” I quoted back to him, still smiling.

“Are you just going to stand here all night or…?”

“Maybe,” I shrugged. “I’ve misplaced my husband and my best friend so I’m trying to remember how to be social.”

“Well while you jog your memory come sit with us,” he pulled me over to the couch where James and rookie Olli Matta were sitting, making up with rest of the Hansen Brothers trio.

“Loving the jeans and skirt combination,” James greeted me, shuffling to make room on the couch.

“Thanks, those glasses are fantastic on you,” I laughed and flopped down beside him, having given up all of my gracefulness in the second trimester.

I sat with James and Olli, laughing at the costumes around and starting to feel a little more relaxed despite the crowded room. I hadn’t had much of a chance to get to know Olli with the season starting and the whirlwind of going public, but I was quickly learning that he was the perfect third member to the pre-existing Bennett and Neal comedy duo. Their lively banter had my in stitches and before I could notice he was gone, Beau was nudging me over on the couch with two plates of food in his hands. He sat down, sandwiching me between his body and James’.

“Here,” he handed me one of the plates and smiled shyly. I grinned at him in thanks, admiring the spread of assorted appetizers he’d brought me before eagerly popping a mini mozzarella stick in my mouth.

With our plates cleared and sitting on the coffee table and the party moved to the living room I felt a welcome sense of contentment. My legs draped casually over James’ lap in the hopes of making more space for us on the couch, I rest my head against Beau’s shoulder and let out a long needed sigh. Serena and Geno joined us, taking a seat on a single chair, her lobster costumed body sitting on his fisherman lap. I watched her glowing as he spoke quietly to her, her head occasionally tipping back and gleeful, full-bodied laughter coming from her open mouth. I knew she was drunk, but it didn’t mask her genuine affection for him. I didn’t envy the complexity of their relationship, they seemed to be in a constant push and pull trying to find the balance that had been thrown off by the loss of Sara. Their desire to be together was overpowered by the incompatibility of their grieving and Serena had spent hours crying over their apparent inability to find stay in a good place for longer than a week. They were both distant by nature and neither knew how to express their hurt to the other. It wasn’t an uncommon struggle in relationships and watching them fight to overcome it reminded me how important my own relationship was.

“It looks like you’ve got some competition there, Captain!” Marc-Andre teased, seeing me draped over James and Beau, as he and Sidney walked into the room together. There was the sound of chuckles around us and Sidney rolled his eyes dramatically, then shrugged.

“I can share,” he laughed, stopping to kiss my forehead before finding his own seat.

“There’s enough of me to go around,” I patted my stomach self deprecatingly and joined the laughter.

The room was still lively with conversation and music, I tried my best to keep up with the chatter around me, evening chiming in every so often. Sidney and I got into a lighthearted banter once again about naming the baby Stanley and did our part entertaining the group for a few minutes. But even with the loud noise and people surrounding me I couldn’t shake the exhaustion and had to fight to keep my eyelids open. I drifted off a few times, startling myself awake and trying to act as if nothing had happened, but after the fourth time Beau draped his arm over the back of the couch, creating the perfect spot for me and I couldn’t resist the hazy fog of sleep any longer.

“Let’s go home, baby,” Sid whispered in my ear, stirring me from my awkward slumber resting against Beau. I opened my eyes to find the crowd in the living room had dissipated and Sidney was standing in front of me, half of the chocolate bars missing from his sleeves. I smiled and nodded sleepily, moving my legs from Beau’s lap and reaching up for Sidney’s hands. He pulled me to my feet and wrapped his heavy arm around my shoulder, supporting my weight and guiding me to the door. I don’t remember the drive home or Sidney carrying me into the bedroom, I just remember the feeling of his body cradling mine when I woke up the next morning.

****
I woke up wanting him, desperately. Two days after the halloween party and my last day of work before the baby, and I needed him. I tried to play it cool, going about our game day routine as if it were just another day, but inside my emotions were running wild and every part of me craved him. I watched him on the ice at the morning skate, indulging myself with filthy fantasies of taking him into my office or ripping his gear off right at centre ice, riding him on the famed Penguins emblem. I was too busy imagining the feeling of the ice underneath us to notice the team had started to head to the locker room.

“You coming?” Haley asked, pulling me out of my day dream.

We gathered in the locker room for the pregame meeting, the players still half dressed in their gear and wiping at their sweaty faces while Dan went over the plan for that night. I stood at the door next to Haley, watching my husband listening intently to the coach. His eyes were focused and his lips pursed in concentration. The tight spandex of his base layer clung him, barely hiding the curve of his muscles. It was impossible to listen to the coaches with Sidney sitting across the room. Carefully I slipped my phone out of my pants pocket and opened my messages, trying to type without anyone noticing.

Bea:
It’s important you know that I’m thinking about you naked right now.

I hit send I waited for his reaction. Seconds later he pulled his attention away from the front of the room and checked his phone, that sat beside him vibrating. His face went from casual to alarmed and he immediately looked up at me, eyes wide and taken aback.

Bea:
I was watching you skate and thinking about how badly I want to be on top of you.

I continued before he could think of a reply to my first message. I once again watched him read my words and look back at me, this time his mouth hanging open slightly.

Bea:
I can almost feel how wet I am thinking about you.

Bea:
I miss feeling you inside of me. You always make me feel so fucking good.

I was on a roll and every message I sent resulted in his face turning three shades redder and his jaw dropping a little more.

Sidney:
What are you doing?????
He finally replied, barely taking his eyes off of me.

Bea:
I told you, I’m thinking about what I want to do the second I get you alone.

Sidney:
Are you aware of how inappropriate this is?

He shot me a serious look and I rolled my eyes at him, pouting then pushing my tongue against my cheek, making a less than mature hand motion and winking at him. He shifted awkwardly in his seat, draping a towel over his lap.

Sidney:
I’m serious Beatrice. I don’t think I can handle this right now.

Bea:
Look you sexy rule following bastard, I want you! I need you to know how badly I want you because if you don’t touch me I’m going to die. Do you want to be a widow Sidney? Do you?

Sidney scowled at me and shook his head, his face even redder than before. He let out an awkward cough and adjusted himself inconspicuously.

Bea:
I love you.

I bit my lip and watched him watching me. His eyes were wandering all over my body, no longer even aware of the other people in the room. He let out another cough, covering his mouth but keeping his eyes on me, then another, and another, until he quietly stood up and excused himself from the meeting, brush up against me as he left the room. I waited a few seconds before following him, whispering to Haley that I was going to make sure he was okay before hurrying out the door and down the hall.

“What was that all about?” I laughed when I saw him leaning against the wall waiting for me, his arms crossed in front of him.

“I told you to cool it,” he reached from my hand, pulling me against him. His eyes were alive in a way that I knew wasn’t from hockey.

“Sorry?” I smiled up at him innocently, enjoying the feeling of his arms around my waist and his fingers creeping under the fabric of my shirt.

“How badly do you want me?” he whispered in my ear. His voice was gruff and low, sending a chorus of shivers up my spine and a flush to my cheeks. His hands were flat against my back now, giving me a teasing taste of his skin on mine.

He didn’t give me time to reply, instead moving his hands from my back over my stomach then taking my hand in his and pulling me towards my office. We both knew he didn’t need to hear me string together a series of needy words laced with desperate adverbs. He knew just as well as I did how badly I ached. The door slammed behind us and as soon as the blinds were drawn his lips were pressed against mind, his hands resting tendering on my cheeks, frantically pinning me against the cold white wall.

“You make me crazy,” he groaned as his hands trailed down to my chest, cupping my heavy breasts gently.

“Show me,” I managed to whisper, my body already heating up and my breathing speeding up.

The words struck a chord inside him and his tender touches turned more urgent, eyes thick with lust and hands pawing at my shirt, pulling it over my head and discarding it across the room. He stopped me when I moved to pull his own long-sleeved shirt off, grabbing my wrists and shaking his head before planting an eager kiss on my already swollen lips. As he kissed me he pulled us away from the wall towards the desk where he spun me around, his lips now on the back of my neck as his hands moved down the elastic band of my pants. He nipped at the thin skin behind my ear and pushed my pants to the floor, motioning for me to step out of them. His fingers found their spot in the folds and electric nerve endings between my thighs. But foreplay wasn’t on his agenda and I soon found myself bend over the desk, my underwear tossed away with my pants and his body pressed against mine.

“Fuck,” I hissed as he slammed into me, faster than I was expecting. There was an urgency to his thrusts and I could feel his fingers digging into the padded flesh of my hips.

“Better?” he chuckled, pressing into me harder, causing me to moan louder than I’d intended. “Is this what you wanted?” he cooed. “Did you want me to fuck you baby? Just like this? Bent over in your office like a dirty girl?”

His words were soft, spoken alongside his precise movements, impacting just as much as he touch did. “You just couldn’t wait could you? Needed me no matter who could walk in. I missed feeling how wet you get,” he growled pressing his chest against my back and digging his teeth into my shoulder with just enough pressure that it would leave a mark. “Tell me how badly you needed it,” he demanded, his hand squeezing the ample flesh of my bum.

“So bad,” I whined, dangerously close to getting lost in the abyss of satisfaction. “I need you so bad, daddy.” The statement slipped from my mouth before I could fully comprehend what I was saying and I froze for a brief moment, worried I’d ruined the moment. However he deep groan and increased pace told me the contrary and as I felt his hand come down hard against my right ass cheek I nearly fell apart instantly.

“Good girl,” he slamming into me wildly and the dominance in his voice send waves of electric bliss through my entire body. Waves that acted as precursors to the hurricane of bliss that took over every inch of me as his hand connected with my hot skin one more time. My convulsions queued his own reaction and I felt him twitch with a loud groan before pressing his body against mine.

“I’m going to miss dirty office nookie,” I sighed. We’d gotten dressed and were sitting on the floor taking a few minutes before returning to the rest of the team.

“We should have done it more often,” Sid laughed and pulled my lazy body against his chest, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I didn’t reply, instead just buried my face in his chest, trying not to think about the end that was now only hours away. My throat felt tight and my head almost ached at the thought of it. It was similar to the feeling I had every time I left PEI to return home to Pittsburgh, a feeling more bitter than sweet. I let out a shaky breath and tried to get a hold on my emotions. Still glowing from the satisfaction of being with him again, my mind was a flurry of confusion.

“What’s wrong?” he pulled me a little tighter in his arms and brushed his hand through my tousled hair.

“Nothing,” I murmured, still trying to sort myself out.

“It’s okay to be scared,” he spoke softly, with the familiar comfort I’d come to rely on in times of emotional spirals. “I’m scared too.”

“About what?” I looked up at him, half of my face still pressed against his shirt.

“Mostly Haley,” he chuckled. “I don’t know if I can deal with anyone else bandaging me up.

“Then stop getting hurt,” I groaned.

“I make no promises,” he kissed the top of my head and tickled my sides lightly, causing me to shriek. “We should go back out before they send a search party.”

“Or figure out where we went, although I’m sure they already know.”

“I really hope not,” he shook his head nervously. “I’m all about you going out with a bang, but I’d rather it be our little secret.”

We sat in silence for a little longer, both trying to gather the energy to leave the sanctuary of my dark office. I wanted to stop time and stay in his arms for as long as I could, sitting on the floor sporting a post-sex rumpled look. I wanted to put off the inevitable tears that would come in the next 12 or so hours. The breakdown I might have, and the confusion I wasn’t ready to face. Finally he loosened his grip on me and gave me a questioning look. I nodded, smiling weakly and he helped me to my feet, kissing me one more time then linking his fingers between mind with a squeeze. Together we joined the rest of the world, together we began our routine for the last time.

Notes

Go figure my longest chapter yet includes sexy lobsters, filthy sex, and emotional emotions. It was pretty brave of me to throw in a sex scene (something I'm no pro at) while I'm so off my game haha.

I'm finally done this horrible semester, so I'm hoping to have more frequent updates. That being said my health is still being a huge pain in the ass so I can't make promises. Thanks for hanging in there with all the delays though! Don't worry I will continue to update this and Longest Time until they're done, even if it takes me forever!

Merry Holidays and all that.
xx-T