“And so I thought I'd let you know that these things take forever

I especially am slow, but I realize that I need you

And I wondered if I could come home.”

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“Sid, come in. Stay for a while.” I told him. He looked at me, and turned, slowly walking into the house. “You’re soaking wet. I still have some of your clothes here, come on.” I motioned him to follow me to the old bedroom where we spent many nights talking throughout the night. I dug through a drawer with one arm, the other protectively holding Scarlett. I pulled out a pair of his jeans, and a t shirt and a pair of underwear. I handed them to him, and he excused himself to the bathroom. When he retrieved out of the bathroom, he had his clothes folded neatly. I laughed. “Sid, why be so particular with wet clothes?” He smiled shyly and I took the clothes from his hand and walked downstairs with him in tow. I threw them into the dryer and walked into the kitchen where Sid looked around, his hands in his pocket. “Want to hold Scarlett?” I asked. His eyes lit up, and he nodded. I handed the baby off to him slowly and he stared at her. “She’s perfect.” He choked out, as if he was holding tears back. She started to wimper and he instinctively bounced to soothe her. “She’s probably hungry. I’ll fix her a bottle.” I turned and warmed up a bottle for her, and handed it to him. He looked at me for direction. “Just hold it up, and stick it in there. She’ll do the rest.” I laughed. He sat down on the couch in the nearby living room and fed her. I snapped a picture and sent it to instagram.

EisKempPens: Not every baby gets lucky enough to get fed by Sidney Crosby! #bestillmyheart

I sat next to him, closely and played with the hair on my daughters head. “This feels so right to me.” He spoke lowly, almost in a whisper. I leaned my head on his shoulder, and snuck my free hand into the nook of his arm. When Scarlett was done eating, I showed him how to burp her. And he did, perfectly. Sid was going to be a great dad someday, but when he was ready, on his own time. With someone who could give him their whole heart. “How was your date with Sam?” I asked. He leaned back and looked at me, “You heard?” I smiled weakly and nodded. “It was okay, we went to dinner at the 905 bar, had a few drinks and then she insisted on watching a movie.” “Doesn’t sound like you were too interested in that.” “No, I mean it all kind of took me by surprise, she just came and asked me if I wanted to go to dinner, and then the more thought I put into it the more it sounded like she was asking me on a date.” “Wait…you didn’t ask her out?” “No, she asked me to go to dinner. Did you miss that part?” “No, she just…never mind. Did you at least have fun?” He shrugged. “She did most of the talking.” “In Sidney Crosby’s usual fashion, letting the women finish first.” I laughed. He blushed and started laughing. “She’s sleeping.” He motioned towards Scarlett who was asleep in his arms. “You did good, Eisley.” He nudged me gently. I smiled, and kissed Scarlett’s head. “I love you, Sidney. I always will. But this is for my family. Scarlett needs her dad, and he needs her. And I need them. But I’m always just a phone call away.” Sid leaned down, and kissed the sleeping babies head and leaned over and kissed mine. “I should go, my parents will be in town tomorrow, and I gotta clean up the house. But call me when you make it to Nashville, so I know your safe, okay?” He said, gently passing me the baby. I stood up, and walked him to the door. I saw that the rain had finally stopped. “How do you watch the woman you love just walk away from you into the arms of another man?” He said. He turned and walked away, unlocking his Range Rover. I closed the door, and loaded Scarlett into her car seat, and grabbed my purse and her diaper bag. I looked around the house one more time, to make sure I had everything. It seemed like everything I touched sent me back into a memory that made it harder to leave. I mustered all my strength and I set the alarm system in the house and put her car seat in the car. I backed out of my drive way, and felt regret instantly hitting me hard.

Thank you for everything, Pittsburgh.

Notes