Autumn Leaves
Chapter 10
Nicki didn’t get home until almost two in the morning. She and Freddy had stayed late to help Milan and Brittany clean up. It was the least they could do. Everyone ended up having a great night. Except for Tyler. Nicki couldn’t help but be hurt by the way he reacted to their kiss.
Freddy promised her that he would talk to Tyler when he got home. She didn’t see what good it would do. She couldn’t believe that everything they had unraveled because of some stupid game of truth or dare. What if he never spoke to her again?
It became evident that Nicki wouldn’t be sleeping at all that night. She decided to spend the night on the couch, catching up on her DVR shows.
At four, her phone started buzzing on the coffee table.
“Freddy?”
“Hey,” he said. He sounded exhausted.
“Why are you still up?”
“I just finished talking with Tyler.”
She had a sinking feeling in her gut. She guessed any conversation that lasted two hours wasn’t a good one.
“How did it go?”
“At first, he wouldn’t talk to me at all. But after a little coaxing I got him to open up about it.”
“And,” she said. She felt nauseous.
“And, he felt the same thing that you did when you kissed. But instead of making him realize that he liked you, it just confused him. Then he got frustrated. He can’t figure out what he wants.”
“Oh.” What else was she supposed to say?
“Nicki I’m so sorry. This is my fault. I’m gonna do everything I can to fix it. But I think you should talk to him. Just give him a couple of days to sort things out. Maybe come over before he leaves on Wednesday.”
“Shit, that’s right. When are you leaving?”
“Tomorrow morning at 10. Or this morning at 10.”
“You should get some sleep before you go. Thanks for telling me all of that. Call me sometime soon, I’m gonna miss you.”
“I know. Don’t worry, I’ll be in touch. And if you ever need to talk don’t hesitate to call, okay? Goodnight Nicki.”
“Night. Have a safe trip,” she said as she hung up the phone.
She was miserable. She would rather hide her feelings from Tyler forever than lose him because of them. How was she going to wait three days to talk to him? It was eating away at her. More and more Nicki was becoming accustomed to life going from perfect to disastrous in the blink of an eye. Would the cycle ever end?
** * * * * *
Wednesday
Nicki stared at her phone, waiting for the time to change to 3:00. As soon as it turned, she pulled up her messages. She touched the conversation with Tyler. They hadn’t texted in over a week, and hadn’t spoken since Friday night. She missed him desperately.
Hey, is it okay if I come over now?
She sent the text. All of the things she would need for the next five days were packed neatly in the duffle bag at her feet. Her classes got cancelled earlier that day, so she had the entire day to prepare herself. It was excruciating. Every few minutes she would stop to run through in her head what she wanted to say to Tyler. It changed frequently.
Tyler 15:02:01: Yup
His response didn’t ease her heartache. He never sent one word texts. She bent down to pick up her bag, slinging her heavy backpack over her shoulder first. Her father wasn’t home. She gave Lucy a kiss goodbye.
She panicked the entire way to his apartment. She pulled into Freddy’s spot. He would be gone until at least March. She got her bags out of the trunk and then opened the back driver’s side door. There was a small cake and a box of candles in the backseat. Tyler’s birthday was in two days, and she figured they could celebrate. If he didn’t hate her.
She made her way up to his apartment and used her foot to knock on the door. She was afraid to move her hands and drop the cake. He opened the door. He spotted the cake, and his expression softened.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” he said.
“Hello to you too.”
“I’m sorry. Really though. My birthday isn’t for another two days.”
“But you’ll be in Florida, and I’ll be here. So I wanted to do something. Is that okay?” She began to regret bringing it.
“Of course it’s okay. Thank you,” he said as he took it from her and placed it on the counter.
“Tyler, we need to talk.”
He sighed. “I know. I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you. I was trying to figure out what to say. It’s just that,” Nicki jumped in before he could finish.
“I’ll go first. We can talk about it, if you want. But I’m nervous that it might send us in the wrong direction. Or, we can forget about it. Clean slate. And go back to the way things were. It’s your choice.”
She knew that she would never be able to forget what happened between them. But she could live with it. And if he could find a way to live with it too, then maybe there was hope. He approached her and wrapped his arms around her.
“Okay, clean slate,” he said. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too,” said Nicki, laughing with relief. Maybe they could make it work. “Well, we only have like an hour until you have to leave, so I think we should do cake and presents.”
“You got me a present?”
“Nothing big. I’m a poor college student, remember?” She giggled. She was exuberant to have her friend back.
Nicki opened the box of candles and placed a single one in the middle of the cake.
“I know you aren’t turning one,” she said, “in my family, after eighteen, we just put on one candle. Partially to save money on candles, but also to wish whoever’s birthday it is the best one year of their life.” She lit the candle.
She turned off the lights and began a solo version of happy birthday. She sang it the best she could. He didn’t stop smiling the whole time. Nicki got a knife from the silverware drawer and cut a small piece for each of them.
“Can Marshall have some? There’s no chocolate,” she said.
“I think that’d be okay.” He called Marshall’s name. When he saw cake, he wagged his tail viciously.
Nicki placed a plate on the floor for him. He gobbled it up in one bite. Once they had finished their pieces, Nicki went to the door to get her bag. She pulled out his two poorly wrapped presents and brought them over to him.
“Go on, open ‘em,” she said.
He tore the paper off of the larger one, revealing a white box that was taped shut. Once he realized what was inside, he laughed.
“My own bobble-head! I always wanted to get one, but I felt weird buying a bobble-head of myself.”
“You’re right, it is weird,” she joked.
He picked up the smaller present and unwrapped it. It was two CDs.
“I finally burned you the CDs you wanted,” she said. “I couldn’t fit all of my favorites on one, so I had to make two. And that probably isn’t even half of the songs I would call my favorites. So you might be getting more of them, if you want them.”
“I love it. I’m gonna put them on my iTunes now so I can listen to them on the plane. Nicki, thank you so much. You made my day.”
She was beaming. Nothing could make her feel better than when she made people happy. Especially the ones she really cared for. They spent the next hour talking and laughing. Before they knew it, it was time for him to leave. He got his suitcase from his room.
“I left five hundred in cash in the middle drawer of my dresser, and there’s a credit card in my nightstand in case you need it. You know where all of Marshall’s stuff is, and you know how to work everything, right?”
She nodded.
“You sure you’re gonna be okay?”
“I’ll be fine,” she assured him.
He hugged her one last time. She held on longer than usual. She didn’t want him to leave. They had just made up. He pulled away.
“I’ll call you when I land. See you Tuesday,” he said as he left.
She locked the door behind him. What was she going to do now?
** * * * * *
Tyler rested his head on the padded seat of the plane. He closed his eyes. Nicki listened to some relaxing music. Everyone else on the plane was shouting about one thing or another. The music gave him an escape.
Dougie bounced into the seat next to him.
“Whatcha listenin’ to?”
“Music,” said Tyler. He didn’t need to know that he was listening to Nicki’s favorite songs on repeat.
“How come you aren’t hanging out with everyone else?”
“Just tired. I had a long couple of days.”
“Yeah, I heard about you and Nicki,” he said.
“From who?” Tyler hated how much his team gossiped.
“I don’t know, everyone I guess.”
“Well we’re fine, Dougie. You can tell that to all of the teenage girls back there.”
“Okay,” said Dougie. He was only two years younger than Tyler, but sometimes he reminded him of a little kid.
He leaned his head back again. Just as he was about to fall asleep, he felt a punch on his arm. Without opening his eyes he knew who it was.
“What do you want, Luc?”
“Dougie just came scrambling over to us saying that you and Nicki worked things out. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because it just happened, that’s why.”
“What happened?” He asked. Tyler felt bad for being frustrated with him. He really just wanted to help. He was a good guy like that.
“She came over before I left. She’s looking after Marshall while we’re gone,”
Milan interrupted him. “She’s staying at your place?”
“Yeah. I asked her to stay with Marshall so I wouldn’t have to get him all the way up to Brampton.”
“I didn’t know you two were that close,” he said.
“She’s the only person I trust with him besides Freddy.”
He nodded his head. “So, what happened when she came over?”
“She told me that we could either talk about what happened, or move past it and go back to the way things were. So I chose to move past it. Talking about it was only going to make things worse.”
“She really said that?” Milan asked. He sounded surprised.
“Yup.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear you guys are friends still. She’s really cool. It’d be a shame to not see her around anymore,” he said. “Alright, I’ll leave you alone now.” He got up and walked towards the back of the plane.
** * * * * *
Nicki wandered around Tyler’s apartment aimlessly. It felt so empty without him there. To pass some time, she decided to take a shower. She unpacked all of her toiletries in his bathroom, placing her shampoo, conditioner, and body wash in the shower. She grabbed a clean towel from the cabinet underneath the sink. She realized that she had no idea how to operate his shower. It was different than the one she had at her house. After the shower head spewed out boiling hot and freezing cold water, she got the temperature right. Nicki undressed and stepped in. She let the water massage her skin.
She wished so badly that Tyler was there with her. Even with all of his stuff around her, she felt lonely. She washed and conditioned her hair, and lathered on her cherry blossom scented soap. She wrapped herself in the fluffy towel and stepped out of the shower.
It seemed like it was a good time to put on her pajamas. Nicki glanced at the clock. It was only 6:30, but the sky was pitch black. She grabbed a pair of shorts from her bag and stepped into them. Instead of putting on a tank top as she normally would, she opened Tyler’s top drawer. There she found the shirt she wore when she slept over. She wriggled into it. Before hanging up her towel on the doorknob, she scrunched her hair in it, trying to get rid of the excess water.
Nicki walked into the kitchen. It was time to feed Marshall. And herself for that matter. She didn’t go food shopping yet and had no idea what to make for dinner. She scooped out a cup of dog food and put it in Marshall’s bowl. Then she turned to the cabinets. All she found that was ready to eat was Honey Nut Cheerios. She checked the fridge for milk; they had just enough left. She poured herself a bowl.
As soon as she took her first bite, her phone started to ring.
“Hello?” She said after swallowing.
“Hey it’s me. We just got to the hotel.” Hearing his voice put a smile on her face.
“Good. I’m glad you got there safe,” she said.
“How are things up there?”
“Don’t rub it in that you’re somewhere warm.”
He laughed. That laugh…
“Really though, everything’s fine. I just showered and fed Marshall.”
“So you figured out how to use the shower? I forgot to explain that to you,” he said.
“Yeah, eventually.”
“Did you have dinner yet?” he asked.
“I am right now, actually. I didn’t feel like making anything so I had some cereal. Hope that’s okay.”
“Mi casa es su casa. Have all the cereal you want.”
“Thanks. So what are you guys doing tonight?”
“We have the night off, so we’ll probably go out somewhere. Paille likes to gamble,” he said.
“That sounds like fun,” she said, “I don’t wanna keep you. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Yup, I’ll keep in touch.”
She hung up the phone. She brought her bowl over to the couch and turned on the TV. There was nothing on.
** * * * * *
Call Ended, read Tyler’s phone. Nicki wasn’t keeping him from anything. He wanted to talk to her. Maybe he would text her later. Dougie walked into the room. They were road roommates.
“You coming out with us tonight?” he asked Tyler.
“Might as well. There’s nothing to do here.”
“Cool! We’re going to a casino down the street. Are you ready now?”
“Give me five minutes. I’ll meet you in the lobby.”
He was ready. Tyler just wanted a moment to himself. When Dougie left, he reclined on his bed. He couldn’t help but wonder what Nicki was doing. It was strange to think that she was in his apartment without him. And in his shower... Before his mind went somewhere that it shouldn’t he got off the bed and looked for his shoes. He really didn’t feel like going out.
Tyler strode across the lobby towards his team. Compared to them, he was monumentally underdressed. Some of the guys were even wearing neatly pressed suits. Tyler was wearing jeans and sneakers.
“That’s everyone. Let’s head out boys!” said Brad. He loved casinos. There were drinks and sloppy girls to boot.
They took a stretch limo there. The last time he had been in a limo was the night that he met Nicki. A night that had turned into an absolute disaster. He vowed to himself that he wouldn’t have too much to drink again.
** * * * * *
“Look at Segs. He’s just sitting there,” said Brad to Milan.
“Yeah. I guarantee he’s thinking about Nicki right now. Otherwise he would be all over these girls.”
“Does he really like her?” asked Dougie.
“Dougie, where the fuck have you been?!” Brad exclaimed. “The last week all we’ve done is come up with ways to make him realize that he likes her. Damn boy, you’ve got some issues.”
Poor Dougie. They were always picking on him. That’s what it means to be the new guy. The shit they did to Segs…
“Should I go talk to him?” asked Milan.
“About what? It won’t do any good.”
Milan was about to respond when he saw Adam approach Tyler with a 40 ounce beer.
** * * * * *
“Hey man. What are you doing over here by yourself? I bought you this!” Adam proclaimed as he shoved the massive beer into Tyler’s hand.
“I don’t know. Still tired I guess. And thanks, but I don’t think I’m really gonna drink tonight.”
“Whatever. Let me know if you want to have some fun. I have a few chicks lined up. A few very eager chicks who happen to dig you,” he said. He walked away.
For the first time in a very long time, the thought of sex didn’t excite Tyler. To distract himself, he took his phone out of his pocket and checked Twitter. Nothing good was going on there. He pulled up his text conversation with Nicki. He started to type “hey” when he suddenly remembered last Friday night.
He still felt bad that he didn’t explain to her what was going through his head when they kissed. He had picked dare knowing very well what Freddy was going to tell him to do. He didn’t know if he had been influenced by the booze or not. Regardless, he wanted to be dared to kiss her. It gave him the excuse he needed to find out what it was like. Even in his wildest dreams he couldn’t have imagined a better kiss. The moment their lips connected he stopped breathing. When he pulled away, he was too bewildered to stick around and listen to everyone in the room talk about it. Every second since it had happened, all he wanted to do was kiss her again.
He looked at the beer Adam bought for him. Why did life have to be so confusing? He took a long chug. Already he was feeling better. He finished the beer too quickly and ordered another one. He picked up the new one and went to find Adam.
** * * * * *
“Marshall, what’s wrong?” Nicki asked, stupidly awaiting some kind of answer.
Marshall was whining and crying. She couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him. She had checked all of his paws to make sure he didn’t stub anything. There was no blood, and he wasn’t nursing any part of his body. She started to really worry.
Nicki walked away from Marshall and got her phone off of Tyler’s coffee table. She would call him. Maybe this was something that just happened. If not, she would have to take him to the vet. She dialed his number and the line picked up.
“He-hello?” A very drunken man answered the phone. It was not Tyler.
“Who is this?” she asked.
“Hi Nicki! It’s Adam,” he said, laughing.
“Hi Adam. Listen I need to talk to Tyler, it’s really important.”
“Oh. Tyler isn’t with me.”
“Where is he? I really need to talk to him. It’s about Marshall,” she pleaded. This was not the time to be dealing with drunk hockey players.
“In his room.”
“Can you bring his phone to him?” Why was this so difficult?
“Nope.”
“How come?”
“He’s busy.”
“Doing what? Come on Adam, please. I think Marshall is really sick.”
Apparently her words had no effect on him. She heard him giggling.
“Not what. Who.” He laughed some more. “He has some guests in his room right now.”
Nicki was speechless. She heard other voices in the background.
“What the fuck man?! Why would you tell her that?” She could hear the phone switching hands. “Nicki, it’s Brad, I-“
She hung up the phone. She felt sick.
** * * * * *
“Hello?”
“Freddy, it’s Nicki.” She was crying hysterically.
“What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”
“No. There’s something wrong with Marshall and he’s crying and I don’t know what to do and I called Tyler and Adam answered and said that Tyler was in his room with a girl or girls and I don’t know what to do and I’m freaking out and…”
“Hey, calm down. I can barely understand you. Marshall is sick? And Tyler’s doing WHAT?”
“Not what. Who.” She sobbed as she repeated Adam's words.
“Aw shit Nicki. I’ll call him in a minute. If there’s something wrong with Marshall, bring him to the vet. Ty left you a credit card, right?”
“Uh huh.”
“Okay, try to calm down. You have to drive. Take a deep breath. I’m going to call Tyler. Text me when you get to the vet. I’ll keep in touch.”
“K,” was all she said.
“Hang in there Nicki.”
** * * * * *
The girls screamed as Brad busted through the hotel room door. Tyler tried to cover himself with a pillow.
“What the hell?!”
“No! You what the hell!” Brad screamed at him. Two of the girls picked up their clothes, got half dressed, and ran out of the door. Tyler threw his arms up in the air.
“I have Freddy on the phone. Nicki is freaking the fuck out right now because Marshall is sick and she doesn’t know what to do, and you can’t pick up the goddamn phone because you’re having a fucking foursome with a bunch of bar sluts? Get your shit together man!” He said as he threw Tyler’s phone at him and slammed the door.
“Should I finish?” asked the one girl who remained.
** * * * * *
Freddy 22:34:40: talked to ty. call me wen u get back
Nicki looked at her text and sighed. It was taking everything she had to hold herself together. Every time she thought of Tyler, she started to lose it. Pushing away the thoughts would only work for so long. She had already been at the vet for over an hour. Luckily, Marshall seemed to be in less pain than when they had arrived.
“We’re ready to see Marshall.” A middle aged man in scrubs entered the lobby. He must have been the only vet on this late at night.
Nicki picked up Marshall’s leash and followed the doctor down a hallway into a sterile room with nothing but a chair and an aluminum table.
“What seems to be the issue?” he asked Nicki.
“I’m not sure. This is my friend’s dog, I’m watching him for the next few days. Around seven tonight he started to whine. I checked everything I could think of, but didn’t find anything. He seemed like he was in a lot of pain, but he’s improved a little since we got here.”
The vet nodded. He poked and prodded at Marshall. The poor dog looked as drained as Nicki felt.
“I can’t seem to find the source of the issue, but I did notice that he’s shaking slightly. We should run some tests. Do you need to verify with your friend?”
“No, do whatever you need to,” she said.
“Okie dokie. We’re going to bring Marshall here out back. I’ll have to ask you to wait in the lobby.”
Before leaving the room, Nicki kissed Marshall on the top of his head. He was the best dog she had ever met. She took her seat back in the lobby. Her phone vibrated in her pocket. It was Tyler. She ignored the call. If she spoke to him now, she would risk losing it in front of the few people left in the vet’s office. She needed to keep it together, at least until she knew that Marshall was okay. Her phone buzzed once. He left a voicemail.
“Hey Nicki, it’s Tyler. Freddy told me what happened. Please call me back when you get this. I’m worried.”
Nicki shook her head. She had to tell him what was going on, it was his dog. She let the receptionist know that she had to take a call and walked outside. It was freezing out, and Nicki didn’t have a jacket. She called him back.
“Is Marshall okay?” He didn’t even bother to say hello.
“I’m not sure. They’re running tests now. It looks like I’m going to be here all night,” she said, frustrated.
“Shit.”
“Yeah.”
Was that all he had to say to her?
“So, uh, I don’t know what Freddy told you. I’m so sorry I didn’t pick up the phone. I guess I never thought something like this would happen.”
“Neither did I.” All of the sudden she didn’t feel like talking anymore.
“I’m sorry,” he said. He was clearly feeling guilty.
“Yeah. Listen Tyler I can’t do this right now. I’ll text you when I find out what’s going on.”
She hung up before he could answer. It didn’t feel right to treat him that way. She wasn’t upset that he didn’t answer the phone. She was upset over why he didn’t answer. He didn’t have any idea that he hurt her. And she would never be able to tell him.
** * * * * *
3:00 AM
Nicki opened the back door to let Marshall out of her car. He had drooled all over the seats. She was just glad that he was okay. They got inside and he went straight for his dog bed. Nicki sagged into the couch. Freddy told her to call him, but she doubted he expected her to be this long. She decided to call anyways. He might still be up, worrying.
“Hey. Did you just get back?” he said.
“Yeah. I just got in. Marshall is going to be fine. The vet thinks he had some weird allergic reaction to his food. We have to give him pills twice a day for two weeks and change his food, but that’s it.”
“Thank God. I don’t know what we’d do without that little guy,” he said, relieved.
“I wouldn’t call him little. I think I pulled a muscle in my back trying to get him into my car.”
“Jesus. You must be exhausted.”
“I’m past that now. I got a second wind at two.” Her sarcasm didn’t show through her tired voice.
Freddy chuckled a little. “Listen, Nicki, about Tyler. He got really drunk and did some stupid things…”
She didn’t let him finish. “How many were there?”
“Three.”
“I’m an idiot,” she said, sprawling out on the couch.
“He’s the idiot Nicki. Don’t say that.”
“Freddy, I’m the one who won’t tell him how I feel. I’m the one who actually believed that I could have something with him. That’s probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever let myself do.” Fresh tears fell down her face. She would like to go a single day without crying about anything.
“What are you gonna do?”
“I don’t know. I guess I should start by going to sleep. I’ll talk to you later. Goodnight, Freddy.”
“Sleep tight.”
She tossed her phone down by her feet. Shit. She had to text Tyler.
Just got back. Marshall is fine. He had an allergic reaction. Need to give him pills for two weeks and switch his food.
She turned off her phone. She got up to go to bed then sat back down and decided to sleep on the couch for the night. In the hallway closet she found a blanket. Once she got comfortable, Marshall joined her. His steady breathing eventually put her to sleep.
** * * * * *
Tuesday 4:00 P.M.
Tyler walked slowly up the stairs to his apartment. He didn’t want to face Nicki. For some reason, he felt extremely guilty about what had happened on Wednesday night. Besides telling him that everything was going fine, she hadn’t spoken to him once. He unlocked the door.
He stepped inside and looked around. The place was spotless. She had obviously been doing some heavy cleaning; he could still smell whatever product she used. At first, he didn’t see her anywhere. She popped her head up over the couch when she heard him. He went around to face her. She and Marshall were lying together on the couch. She had a book in her hands. To Tyler’s dismay, she looked like an absolute mess. He prayed that it wasn’t his fault.
“I didn’t know you wore glasses,” was all he could think of to say. Idiot.
“Yeah. Since I was little,” she responded, barely looking at him.
“They look cute on you.” He was hoping she would blush or giggle or smile or one of the other million things she did when he complimented her. All he got was a blank expression.
“Thanks. Okay, well you’re home. I should get going. I did some food shopping, you should be all set for the rest of the week.” She got up and grabbed her already packed bag and took her keys off of the counter.
“You don’t have to leave,” he said, trying not to sound desperate.
“I really should. I’ll talk to you later.”
She opened the door and left. Tyler sat down on the couch. He wanted so badly to apologize to her. But for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out why he felt the need to say he was sorry. He hadn’t done anything wrong. So why did he feel so shitty?
** * * * * *
Friday 7:00 AM
Nicki’s alarm went off. She groaned as she turned over in bed to shut it off. Thank God it was Friday. She only had one class today. Then it was the weekend. The weekend. She had no plans. It seemed like she would be spending the entirety of it in bed with ice cream, her cat, and Nicholas Sparks movies.
She stretched and got out of bed. Nicki went downstairs to make herself a cup of tea. She had one every morning.
“Hey sweetie.”
Her dad scared her. She screamed and shot her hand to her chest.
“Jesus dad you scared me! What are you still doing home?”
Her father always left for work before the sun came up. He was an early riser. She was still half asleep, but it only took a moment for her to realize that something wasn’t right.
“Dad, what is it?” She said, beginning to worry.
He sighed. “It’s Jason. They found him.”
Nicki feared the worst. She waited for her dad to tell her that he was dead, too.
“They?” she asked. Who was they?
“The police. He’s in San Diego.”
She was stunned. How did a seventeen year old get all the way across the country? He didn’t even have a job. She didn’t say anything.
“Listen hon, I know this is going to be a lot to deal with. He’s been accused of murdering two people. I don’t know the details. They couldn’t call us until the lawyers had started their cases. He’s been in a holding cell for months. His trial starts tomorrow.”
The room started to spin, and Nicki became dizzy. She felt like she was going to faint. Her brother? A murderer? The thought of him rotting away in a cell brought forth a wave of nausea.
“Oh God…” was all she could say.
“Nick, I need you to go out there and sit through the trial. I’ve already spoken to Salem State and they’re making accommodations for you. I bought you a plane ticket. I know it’s terrible and I hate to leave you with no choice but I still have to provide for the two of us. And now I have to pay for a lawyer. I won’t let the state represent him. So I have to stay here and work.”
What else could possibly happen to tear Nicki’s life apart? This whole week she had been just barely hanging on. Maybe being five thousand miles away from Tyler would be good for her. Yeah. Maybe she could even spend some time at the beach. She was very familiar with San Diego. It was her mother’s favorite place.
“Okay. When do I leave?” Suddenly, she was looking forward to it.
“Your flight is for one o’clock this afternoon. Do you have enough time to prepare everything?”
“Yeah, it’s only seven. That’s plenty of time.”
“Good. I took today off, so I can drive you to the airport. I’m really sorry I have to do this to you honey.”
“It’s okay,” she said as she hugged him. “I think this might actually be good for me.”
** * * * * *
Freddy heard his alarm go off. Was it eight already? He grabbed his phone, eyes still closed. He pressed the home button on his iPhone. It went off again. What the hell? He opened his eyes. It wasn’t his alarm. It was only seven thirty. It was Nicki calling him.
“Hello?” His voice sounded crackly.
“Hey Freddy. Do you have a sec?”
He sat up. “Sure, what’s up?” He hadn’t heard from Nicki since the debacle with Marshall.
She breathed into the phone. “I don’t think I ever mentioned to you that I have a younger brother. He ran away after my mom died and we haven’t heard from him since. The police found him in California and he’s being accused of double homicide. My father can’t miss work, so I have to go out there. I have no idea how long I’ll be gone. I need you to swear to me that you won’t tell Tyler that I’m leaving.”’
It took a moment for Freddy to absorb everything she just told him.
“What about Marshall? You have to watch him again soon, don’t you?”
“Yes. If I’m still gone, then you can tell him. But I’m hoping to be back by then. Promise me you won’t say anything Freddy.”
“Okay. I promise. You’re that mad at him, huh?”
“I’m not mad at him. I’m just hurt. And I need to spend some time by myself.”
“He’s gonna be pissed when he finds out. At both of us. You know that right?”
“I know. I’ll take the blame. You’re just being a good friend to me.”
He nodded his head. Lately he felt more loyal to her than he did to Tyler.
“So where in California?” he asked her.
“San Diego. I know it pretty well, I used to go every year.”
“Will you do me a favor?”
“Of course,” she said.
“Will you tell me when you get there? And tell me where you’re staying? It will make me feel a little better about you being across the country.”
She laughed a little. “Yeah, sure. Might I remind you that you aren’t even in the country?”
Freddy didn’t realize how stupid he just made himself sound. She was right. He was still in Canada.
“I have to get packing. My flight is at one. I’ll call you as soon as I land.” She paused. “Love ya Freddy.”
“Be safe. Love you too, Nicki.”
Hearing her say that struck a chord for him. He had felt that way towards her since the day he took her out. Not the kind of love that she had for Tyler, but the kind you have towards a best friend. A best friend who feels like family. That’s what she had become to him. Family. It made him smile to know that he had someone so incredible in his life.
Now more than ever Freddy wanted to tell Tyler everything. It killed him to see Nicki so hurt. He knew that Tyler was hurting, too. He didn’t understand what he did wrong, because he had no idea how she felt about him. But Freddy made her a promise. A promise that he would keep.
** * * * * * *
Monday, Ristuccia Arena, 10:30 AM
Tyler laced up his skates before practice. He was the first one to get to the arena that morning, so he had time to kill while the rest of the team got ready. He was oblivious to everything that was going on around him. All he could think about was Nicki. It took everything he had not to call her. A few times he dialed her number, then realized he had no idea what to say to her. He was afraid to bring anything up because he had no idea what she was feeling.
Milan broke him out of his stupor. “Hey. How’s Nicki?”
Were they ever going to leave him alone about it?
“I wouldn’t know.”
“What do you mean? I thought you guys were okay,” Milan said, confused.
Tyler decided to finally open up to him. “We were. Then I fucked up. And I’ve been too scared to admit it. I don’t think she even wants to talk to me.”
Brad hobbled over. He only had on one skate.
“Are you talking about Nicki?”
Tyler nodded.
“Dude, Freddy didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“She’s in California.”
“California?” Milan and Tyler asked at the same time.
“Yeah, man. They found her brother and he’s on trial for murder. She’s been out there since Friday.”
Tyler shot up and ran over to his locker, grabbing his phone. He dialed Freddy’s number.
“What’s up Ty?”
“What’s up? What’s up is you not telling me that Nicki is in frigging California! How did that just escape your mind?”
“I’m sorry, bro. She asked me not to tell you.”
“Why would she say that?” Tyler was hurt. He knew that she wasn’t happy with him, but to go all the way across the country and not tell him? And her brother! Murder?
“I don’t know. You’ll have to ask her,” said Freddy.
“Fine. I will.”
Freddy promised her that he would talk to Tyler when he got home. She didn’t see what good it would do. She couldn’t believe that everything they had unraveled because of some stupid game of truth or dare. What if he never spoke to her again?
It became evident that Nicki wouldn’t be sleeping at all that night. She decided to spend the night on the couch, catching up on her DVR shows.
At four, her phone started buzzing on the coffee table.
“Freddy?”
“Hey,” he said. He sounded exhausted.
“Why are you still up?”
“I just finished talking with Tyler.”
She had a sinking feeling in her gut. She guessed any conversation that lasted two hours wasn’t a good one.
“How did it go?”
“At first, he wouldn’t talk to me at all. But after a little coaxing I got him to open up about it.”
“And,” she said. She felt nauseous.
“And, he felt the same thing that you did when you kissed. But instead of making him realize that he liked you, it just confused him. Then he got frustrated. He can’t figure out what he wants.”
“Oh.” What else was she supposed to say?
“Nicki I’m so sorry. This is my fault. I’m gonna do everything I can to fix it. But I think you should talk to him. Just give him a couple of days to sort things out. Maybe come over before he leaves on Wednesday.”
“Shit, that’s right. When are you leaving?”
“Tomorrow morning at 10. Or this morning at 10.”
“You should get some sleep before you go. Thanks for telling me all of that. Call me sometime soon, I’m gonna miss you.”
“I know. Don’t worry, I’ll be in touch. And if you ever need to talk don’t hesitate to call, okay? Goodnight Nicki.”
“Night. Have a safe trip,” she said as she hung up the phone.
She was miserable. She would rather hide her feelings from Tyler forever than lose him because of them. How was she going to wait three days to talk to him? It was eating away at her. More and more Nicki was becoming accustomed to life going from perfect to disastrous in the blink of an eye. Would the cycle ever end?
** * * * * *
Wednesday
Nicki stared at her phone, waiting for the time to change to 3:00. As soon as it turned, she pulled up her messages. She touched the conversation with Tyler. They hadn’t texted in over a week, and hadn’t spoken since Friday night. She missed him desperately.
Hey, is it okay if I come over now?
She sent the text. All of the things she would need for the next five days were packed neatly in the duffle bag at her feet. Her classes got cancelled earlier that day, so she had the entire day to prepare herself. It was excruciating. Every few minutes she would stop to run through in her head what she wanted to say to Tyler. It changed frequently.
Tyler 15:02:01: Yup
His response didn’t ease her heartache. He never sent one word texts. She bent down to pick up her bag, slinging her heavy backpack over her shoulder first. Her father wasn’t home. She gave Lucy a kiss goodbye.
She panicked the entire way to his apartment. She pulled into Freddy’s spot. He would be gone until at least March. She got her bags out of the trunk and then opened the back driver’s side door. There was a small cake and a box of candles in the backseat. Tyler’s birthday was in two days, and she figured they could celebrate. If he didn’t hate her.
She made her way up to his apartment and used her foot to knock on the door. She was afraid to move her hands and drop the cake. He opened the door. He spotted the cake, and his expression softened.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” he said.
“Hello to you too.”
“I’m sorry. Really though. My birthday isn’t for another two days.”
“But you’ll be in Florida, and I’ll be here. So I wanted to do something. Is that okay?” She began to regret bringing it.
“Of course it’s okay. Thank you,” he said as he took it from her and placed it on the counter.
“Tyler, we need to talk.”
He sighed. “I know. I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you. I was trying to figure out what to say. It’s just that,” Nicki jumped in before he could finish.
“I’ll go first. We can talk about it, if you want. But I’m nervous that it might send us in the wrong direction. Or, we can forget about it. Clean slate. And go back to the way things were. It’s your choice.”
She knew that she would never be able to forget what happened between them. But she could live with it. And if he could find a way to live with it too, then maybe there was hope. He approached her and wrapped his arms around her.
“Okay, clean slate,” he said. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too,” said Nicki, laughing with relief. Maybe they could make it work. “Well, we only have like an hour until you have to leave, so I think we should do cake and presents.”
“You got me a present?”
“Nothing big. I’m a poor college student, remember?” She giggled. She was exuberant to have her friend back.
Nicki opened the box of candles and placed a single one in the middle of the cake.
“I know you aren’t turning one,” she said, “in my family, after eighteen, we just put on one candle. Partially to save money on candles, but also to wish whoever’s birthday it is the best one year of their life.” She lit the candle.
She turned off the lights and began a solo version of happy birthday. She sang it the best she could. He didn’t stop smiling the whole time. Nicki got a knife from the silverware drawer and cut a small piece for each of them.
“Can Marshall have some? There’s no chocolate,” she said.
“I think that’d be okay.” He called Marshall’s name. When he saw cake, he wagged his tail viciously.
Nicki placed a plate on the floor for him. He gobbled it up in one bite. Once they had finished their pieces, Nicki went to the door to get her bag. She pulled out his two poorly wrapped presents and brought them over to him.
“Go on, open ‘em,” she said.
He tore the paper off of the larger one, revealing a white box that was taped shut. Once he realized what was inside, he laughed.
“My own bobble-head! I always wanted to get one, but I felt weird buying a bobble-head of myself.”
“You’re right, it is weird,” she joked.
He picked up the smaller present and unwrapped it. It was two CDs.
“I finally burned you the CDs you wanted,” she said. “I couldn’t fit all of my favorites on one, so I had to make two. And that probably isn’t even half of the songs I would call my favorites. So you might be getting more of them, if you want them.”
“I love it. I’m gonna put them on my iTunes now so I can listen to them on the plane. Nicki, thank you so much. You made my day.”
She was beaming. Nothing could make her feel better than when she made people happy. Especially the ones she really cared for. They spent the next hour talking and laughing. Before they knew it, it was time for him to leave. He got his suitcase from his room.
“I left five hundred in cash in the middle drawer of my dresser, and there’s a credit card in my nightstand in case you need it. You know where all of Marshall’s stuff is, and you know how to work everything, right?”
She nodded.
“You sure you’re gonna be okay?”
“I’ll be fine,” she assured him.
He hugged her one last time. She held on longer than usual. She didn’t want him to leave. They had just made up. He pulled away.
“I’ll call you when I land. See you Tuesday,” he said as he left.
She locked the door behind him. What was she going to do now?
** * * * * *
Tyler rested his head on the padded seat of the plane. He closed his eyes. Nicki listened to some relaxing music. Everyone else on the plane was shouting about one thing or another. The music gave him an escape.
Dougie bounced into the seat next to him.
“Whatcha listenin’ to?”
“Music,” said Tyler. He didn’t need to know that he was listening to Nicki’s favorite songs on repeat.
“How come you aren’t hanging out with everyone else?”
“Just tired. I had a long couple of days.”
“Yeah, I heard about you and Nicki,” he said.
“From who?” Tyler hated how much his team gossiped.
“I don’t know, everyone I guess.”
“Well we’re fine, Dougie. You can tell that to all of the teenage girls back there.”
“Okay,” said Dougie. He was only two years younger than Tyler, but sometimes he reminded him of a little kid.
He leaned his head back again. Just as he was about to fall asleep, he felt a punch on his arm. Without opening his eyes he knew who it was.
“What do you want, Luc?”
“Dougie just came scrambling over to us saying that you and Nicki worked things out. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because it just happened, that’s why.”
“What happened?” He asked. Tyler felt bad for being frustrated with him. He really just wanted to help. He was a good guy like that.
“She came over before I left. She’s looking after Marshall while we’re gone,”
Milan interrupted him. “She’s staying at your place?”
“Yeah. I asked her to stay with Marshall so I wouldn’t have to get him all the way up to Brampton.”
“I didn’t know you two were that close,” he said.
“She’s the only person I trust with him besides Freddy.”
He nodded his head. “So, what happened when she came over?”
“She told me that we could either talk about what happened, or move past it and go back to the way things were. So I chose to move past it. Talking about it was only going to make things worse.”
“She really said that?” Milan asked. He sounded surprised.
“Yup.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear you guys are friends still. She’s really cool. It’d be a shame to not see her around anymore,” he said. “Alright, I’ll leave you alone now.” He got up and walked towards the back of the plane.
** * * * * *
Nicki wandered around Tyler’s apartment aimlessly. It felt so empty without him there. To pass some time, she decided to take a shower. She unpacked all of her toiletries in his bathroom, placing her shampoo, conditioner, and body wash in the shower. She grabbed a clean towel from the cabinet underneath the sink. She realized that she had no idea how to operate his shower. It was different than the one she had at her house. After the shower head spewed out boiling hot and freezing cold water, she got the temperature right. Nicki undressed and stepped in. She let the water massage her skin.
She wished so badly that Tyler was there with her. Even with all of his stuff around her, she felt lonely. She washed and conditioned her hair, and lathered on her cherry blossom scented soap. She wrapped herself in the fluffy towel and stepped out of the shower.
It seemed like it was a good time to put on her pajamas. Nicki glanced at the clock. It was only 6:30, but the sky was pitch black. She grabbed a pair of shorts from her bag and stepped into them. Instead of putting on a tank top as she normally would, she opened Tyler’s top drawer. There she found the shirt she wore when she slept over. She wriggled into it. Before hanging up her towel on the doorknob, she scrunched her hair in it, trying to get rid of the excess water.
Nicki walked into the kitchen. It was time to feed Marshall. And herself for that matter. She didn’t go food shopping yet and had no idea what to make for dinner. She scooped out a cup of dog food and put it in Marshall’s bowl. Then she turned to the cabinets. All she found that was ready to eat was Honey Nut Cheerios. She checked the fridge for milk; they had just enough left. She poured herself a bowl.
As soon as she took her first bite, her phone started to ring.
“Hello?” She said after swallowing.
“Hey it’s me. We just got to the hotel.” Hearing his voice put a smile on her face.
“Good. I’m glad you got there safe,” she said.
“How are things up there?”
“Don’t rub it in that you’re somewhere warm.”
He laughed. That laugh…
“Really though, everything’s fine. I just showered and fed Marshall.”
“So you figured out how to use the shower? I forgot to explain that to you,” he said.
“Yeah, eventually.”
“Did you have dinner yet?” he asked.
“I am right now, actually. I didn’t feel like making anything so I had some cereal. Hope that’s okay.”
“Mi casa es su casa. Have all the cereal you want.”
“Thanks. So what are you guys doing tonight?”
“We have the night off, so we’ll probably go out somewhere. Paille likes to gamble,” he said.
“That sounds like fun,” she said, “I don’t wanna keep you. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Yup, I’ll keep in touch.”
She hung up the phone. She brought her bowl over to the couch and turned on the TV. There was nothing on.
** * * * * *
Call Ended, read Tyler’s phone. Nicki wasn’t keeping him from anything. He wanted to talk to her. Maybe he would text her later. Dougie walked into the room. They were road roommates.
“You coming out with us tonight?” he asked Tyler.
“Might as well. There’s nothing to do here.”
“Cool! We’re going to a casino down the street. Are you ready now?”
“Give me five minutes. I’ll meet you in the lobby.”
He was ready. Tyler just wanted a moment to himself. When Dougie left, he reclined on his bed. He couldn’t help but wonder what Nicki was doing. It was strange to think that she was in his apartment without him. And in his shower... Before his mind went somewhere that it shouldn’t he got off the bed and looked for his shoes. He really didn’t feel like going out.
Tyler strode across the lobby towards his team. Compared to them, he was monumentally underdressed. Some of the guys were even wearing neatly pressed suits. Tyler was wearing jeans and sneakers.
“That’s everyone. Let’s head out boys!” said Brad. He loved casinos. There were drinks and sloppy girls to boot.
They took a stretch limo there. The last time he had been in a limo was the night that he met Nicki. A night that had turned into an absolute disaster. He vowed to himself that he wouldn’t have too much to drink again.
** * * * * *
“Look at Segs. He’s just sitting there,” said Brad to Milan.
“Yeah. I guarantee he’s thinking about Nicki right now. Otherwise he would be all over these girls.”
“Does he really like her?” asked Dougie.
“Dougie, where the fuck have you been?!” Brad exclaimed. “The last week all we’ve done is come up with ways to make him realize that he likes her. Damn boy, you’ve got some issues.”
Poor Dougie. They were always picking on him. That’s what it means to be the new guy. The shit they did to Segs…
“Should I go talk to him?” asked Milan.
“About what? It won’t do any good.”
Milan was about to respond when he saw Adam approach Tyler with a 40 ounce beer.
** * * * * *
“Hey man. What are you doing over here by yourself? I bought you this!” Adam proclaimed as he shoved the massive beer into Tyler’s hand.
“I don’t know. Still tired I guess. And thanks, but I don’t think I’m really gonna drink tonight.”
“Whatever. Let me know if you want to have some fun. I have a few chicks lined up. A few very eager chicks who happen to dig you,” he said. He walked away.
For the first time in a very long time, the thought of sex didn’t excite Tyler. To distract himself, he took his phone out of his pocket and checked Twitter. Nothing good was going on there. He pulled up his text conversation with Nicki. He started to type “hey” when he suddenly remembered last Friday night.
He still felt bad that he didn’t explain to her what was going through his head when they kissed. He had picked dare knowing very well what Freddy was going to tell him to do. He didn’t know if he had been influenced by the booze or not. Regardless, he wanted to be dared to kiss her. It gave him the excuse he needed to find out what it was like. Even in his wildest dreams he couldn’t have imagined a better kiss. The moment their lips connected he stopped breathing. When he pulled away, he was too bewildered to stick around and listen to everyone in the room talk about it. Every second since it had happened, all he wanted to do was kiss her again.
He looked at the beer Adam bought for him. Why did life have to be so confusing? He took a long chug. Already he was feeling better. He finished the beer too quickly and ordered another one. He picked up the new one and went to find Adam.
** * * * * *
“Marshall, what’s wrong?” Nicki asked, stupidly awaiting some kind of answer.
Marshall was whining and crying. She couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him. She had checked all of his paws to make sure he didn’t stub anything. There was no blood, and he wasn’t nursing any part of his body. She started to really worry.
Nicki walked away from Marshall and got her phone off of Tyler’s coffee table. She would call him. Maybe this was something that just happened. If not, she would have to take him to the vet. She dialed his number and the line picked up.
“He-hello?” A very drunken man answered the phone. It was not Tyler.
“Who is this?” she asked.
“Hi Nicki! It’s Adam,” he said, laughing.
“Hi Adam. Listen I need to talk to Tyler, it’s really important.”
“Oh. Tyler isn’t with me.”
“Where is he? I really need to talk to him. It’s about Marshall,” she pleaded. This was not the time to be dealing with drunk hockey players.
“In his room.”
“Can you bring his phone to him?” Why was this so difficult?
“Nope.”
“How come?”
“He’s busy.”
“Doing what? Come on Adam, please. I think Marshall is really sick.”
Apparently her words had no effect on him. She heard him giggling.
“Not what. Who.” He laughed some more. “He has some guests in his room right now.”
Nicki was speechless. She heard other voices in the background.
“What the fuck man?! Why would you tell her that?” She could hear the phone switching hands. “Nicki, it’s Brad, I-“
She hung up the phone. She felt sick.
** * * * * *
“Hello?”
“Freddy, it’s Nicki.” She was crying hysterically.
“What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”
“No. There’s something wrong with Marshall and he’s crying and I don’t know what to do and I called Tyler and Adam answered and said that Tyler was in his room with a girl or girls and I don’t know what to do and I’m freaking out and…”
“Hey, calm down. I can barely understand you. Marshall is sick? And Tyler’s doing WHAT?”
“Not what. Who.” She sobbed as she repeated Adam's words.
“Aw shit Nicki. I’ll call him in a minute. If there’s something wrong with Marshall, bring him to the vet. Ty left you a credit card, right?”
“Uh huh.”
“Okay, try to calm down. You have to drive. Take a deep breath. I’m going to call Tyler. Text me when you get to the vet. I’ll keep in touch.”
“K,” was all she said.
“Hang in there Nicki.”
** * * * * *
The girls screamed as Brad busted through the hotel room door. Tyler tried to cover himself with a pillow.
“What the hell?!”
“No! You what the hell!” Brad screamed at him. Two of the girls picked up their clothes, got half dressed, and ran out of the door. Tyler threw his arms up in the air.
“I have Freddy on the phone. Nicki is freaking the fuck out right now because Marshall is sick and she doesn’t know what to do, and you can’t pick up the goddamn phone because you’re having a fucking foursome with a bunch of bar sluts? Get your shit together man!” He said as he threw Tyler’s phone at him and slammed the door.
“Should I finish?” asked the one girl who remained.
** * * * * *
Freddy 22:34:40: talked to ty. call me wen u get back
Nicki looked at her text and sighed. It was taking everything she had to hold herself together. Every time she thought of Tyler, she started to lose it. Pushing away the thoughts would only work for so long. She had already been at the vet for over an hour. Luckily, Marshall seemed to be in less pain than when they had arrived.
“We’re ready to see Marshall.” A middle aged man in scrubs entered the lobby. He must have been the only vet on this late at night.
Nicki picked up Marshall’s leash and followed the doctor down a hallway into a sterile room with nothing but a chair and an aluminum table.
“What seems to be the issue?” he asked Nicki.
“I’m not sure. This is my friend’s dog, I’m watching him for the next few days. Around seven tonight he started to whine. I checked everything I could think of, but didn’t find anything. He seemed like he was in a lot of pain, but he’s improved a little since we got here.”
The vet nodded. He poked and prodded at Marshall. The poor dog looked as drained as Nicki felt.
“I can’t seem to find the source of the issue, but I did notice that he’s shaking slightly. We should run some tests. Do you need to verify with your friend?”
“No, do whatever you need to,” she said.
“Okie dokie. We’re going to bring Marshall here out back. I’ll have to ask you to wait in the lobby.”
Before leaving the room, Nicki kissed Marshall on the top of his head. He was the best dog she had ever met. She took her seat back in the lobby. Her phone vibrated in her pocket. It was Tyler. She ignored the call. If she spoke to him now, she would risk losing it in front of the few people left in the vet’s office. She needed to keep it together, at least until she knew that Marshall was okay. Her phone buzzed once. He left a voicemail.
“Hey Nicki, it’s Tyler. Freddy told me what happened. Please call me back when you get this. I’m worried.”
Nicki shook her head. She had to tell him what was going on, it was his dog. She let the receptionist know that she had to take a call and walked outside. It was freezing out, and Nicki didn’t have a jacket. She called him back.
“Is Marshall okay?” He didn’t even bother to say hello.
“I’m not sure. They’re running tests now. It looks like I’m going to be here all night,” she said, frustrated.
“Shit.”
“Yeah.”
Was that all he had to say to her?
“So, uh, I don’t know what Freddy told you. I’m so sorry I didn’t pick up the phone. I guess I never thought something like this would happen.”
“Neither did I.” All of the sudden she didn’t feel like talking anymore.
“I’m sorry,” he said. He was clearly feeling guilty.
“Yeah. Listen Tyler I can’t do this right now. I’ll text you when I find out what’s going on.”
She hung up before he could answer. It didn’t feel right to treat him that way. She wasn’t upset that he didn’t answer the phone. She was upset over why he didn’t answer. He didn’t have any idea that he hurt her. And she would never be able to tell him.
** * * * * *
3:00 AM
Nicki opened the back door to let Marshall out of her car. He had drooled all over the seats. She was just glad that he was okay. They got inside and he went straight for his dog bed. Nicki sagged into the couch. Freddy told her to call him, but she doubted he expected her to be this long. She decided to call anyways. He might still be up, worrying.
“Hey. Did you just get back?” he said.
“Yeah. I just got in. Marshall is going to be fine. The vet thinks he had some weird allergic reaction to his food. We have to give him pills twice a day for two weeks and change his food, but that’s it.”
“Thank God. I don’t know what we’d do without that little guy,” he said, relieved.
“I wouldn’t call him little. I think I pulled a muscle in my back trying to get him into my car.”
“Jesus. You must be exhausted.”
“I’m past that now. I got a second wind at two.” Her sarcasm didn’t show through her tired voice.
Freddy chuckled a little. “Listen, Nicki, about Tyler. He got really drunk and did some stupid things…”
She didn’t let him finish. “How many were there?”
“Three.”
“I’m an idiot,” she said, sprawling out on the couch.
“He’s the idiot Nicki. Don’t say that.”
“Freddy, I’m the one who won’t tell him how I feel. I’m the one who actually believed that I could have something with him. That’s probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever let myself do.” Fresh tears fell down her face. She would like to go a single day without crying about anything.
“What are you gonna do?”
“I don’t know. I guess I should start by going to sleep. I’ll talk to you later. Goodnight, Freddy.”
“Sleep tight.”
She tossed her phone down by her feet. Shit. She had to text Tyler.
Just got back. Marshall is fine. He had an allergic reaction. Need to give him pills for two weeks and switch his food.
She turned off her phone. She got up to go to bed then sat back down and decided to sleep on the couch for the night. In the hallway closet she found a blanket. Once she got comfortable, Marshall joined her. His steady breathing eventually put her to sleep.
** * * * * *
Tuesday 4:00 P.M.
Tyler walked slowly up the stairs to his apartment. He didn’t want to face Nicki. For some reason, he felt extremely guilty about what had happened on Wednesday night. Besides telling him that everything was going fine, she hadn’t spoken to him once. He unlocked the door.
He stepped inside and looked around. The place was spotless. She had obviously been doing some heavy cleaning; he could still smell whatever product she used. At first, he didn’t see her anywhere. She popped her head up over the couch when she heard him. He went around to face her. She and Marshall were lying together on the couch. She had a book in her hands. To Tyler’s dismay, she looked like an absolute mess. He prayed that it wasn’t his fault.
“I didn’t know you wore glasses,” was all he could think of to say. Idiot.
“Yeah. Since I was little,” she responded, barely looking at him.
“They look cute on you.” He was hoping she would blush or giggle or smile or one of the other million things she did when he complimented her. All he got was a blank expression.
“Thanks. Okay, well you’re home. I should get going. I did some food shopping, you should be all set for the rest of the week.” She got up and grabbed her already packed bag and took her keys off of the counter.
“You don’t have to leave,” he said, trying not to sound desperate.
“I really should. I’ll talk to you later.”
She opened the door and left. Tyler sat down on the couch. He wanted so badly to apologize to her. But for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out why he felt the need to say he was sorry. He hadn’t done anything wrong. So why did he feel so shitty?
** * * * * *
Friday 7:00 AM
Nicki’s alarm went off. She groaned as she turned over in bed to shut it off. Thank God it was Friday. She only had one class today. Then it was the weekend. The weekend. She had no plans. It seemed like she would be spending the entirety of it in bed with ice cream, her cat, and Nicholas Sparks movies.
She stretched and got out of bed. Nicki went downstairs to make herself a cup of tea. She had one every morning.
“Hey sweetie.”
Her dad scared her. She screamed and shot her hand to her chest.
“Jesus dad you scared me! What are you still doing home?”
Her father always left for work before the sun came up. He was an early riser. She was still half asleep, but it only took a moment for her to realize that something wasn’t right.
“Dad, what is it?” She said, beginning to worry.
He sighed. “It’s Jason. They found him.”
Nicki feared the worst. She waited for her dad to tell her that he was dead, too.
“They?” she asked. Who was they?
“The police. He’s in San Diego.”
She was stunned. How did a seventeen year old get all the way across the country? He didn’t even have a job. She didn’t say anything.
“Listen hon, I know this is going to be a lot to deal with. He’s been accused of murdering two people. I don’t know the details. They couldn’t call us until the lawyers had started their cases. He’s been in a holding cell for months. His trial starts tomorrow.”
The room started to spin, and Nicki became dizzy. She felt like she was going to faint. Her brother? A murderer? The thought of him rotting away in a cell brought forth a wave of nausea.
“Oh God…” was all she could say.
“Nick, I need you to go out there and sit through the trial. I’ve already spoken to Salem State and they’re making accommodations for you. I bought you a plane ticket. I know it’s terrible and I hate to leave you with no choice but I still have to provide for the two of us. And now I have to pay for a lawyer. I won’t let the state represent him. So I have to stay here and work.”
What else could possibly happen to tear Nicki’s life apart? This whole week she had been just barely hanging on. Maybe being five thousand miles away from Tyler would be good for her. Yeah. Maybe she could even spend some time at the beach. She was very familiar with San Diego. It was her mother’s favorite place.
“Okay. When do I leave?” Suddenly, she was looking forward to it.
“Your flight is for one o’clock this afternoon. Do you have enough time to prepare everything?”
“Yeah, it’s only seven. That’s plenty of time.”
“Good. I took today off, so I can drive you to the airport. I’m really sorry I have to do this to you honey.”
“It’s okay,” she said as she hugged him. “I think this might actually be good for me.”
** * * * * *
Freddy heard his alarm go off. Was it eight already? He grabbed his phone, eyes still closed. He pressed the home button on his iPhone. It went off again. What the hell? He opened his eyes. It wasn’t his alarm. It was only seven thirty. It was Nicki calling him.
“Hello?” His voice sounded crackly.
“Hey Freddy. Do you have a sec?”
He sat up. “Sure, what’s up?” He hadn’t heard from Nicki since the debacle with Marshall.
She breathed into the phone. “I don’t think I ever mentioned to you that I have a younger brother. He ran away after my mom died and we haven’t heard from him since. The police found him in California and he’s being accused of double homicide. My father can’t miss work, so I have to go out there. I have no idea how long I’ll be gone. I need you to swear to me that you won’t tell Tyler that I’m leaving.”’
It took a moment for Freddy to absorb everything she just told him.
“What about Marshall? You have to watch him again soon, don’t you?”
“Yes. If I’m still gone, then you can tell him. But I’m hoping to be back by then. Promise me you won’t say anything Freddy.”
“Okay. I promise. You’re that mad at him, huh?”
“I’m not mad at him. I’m just hurt. And I need to spend some time by myself.”
“He’s gonna be pissed when he finds out. At both of us. You know that right?”
“I know. I’ll take the blame. You’re just being a good friend to me.”
He nodded his head. Lately he felt more loyal to her than he did to Tyler.
“So where in California?” he asked her.
“San Diego. I know it pretty well, I used to go every year.”
“Will you do me a favor?”
“Of course,” she said.
“Will you tell me when you get there? And tell me where you’re staying? It will make me feel a little better about you being across the country.”
She laughed a little. “Yeah, sure. Might I remind you that you aren’t even in the country?”
Freddy didn’t realize how stupid he just made himself sound. She was right. He was still in Canada.
“I have to get packing. My flight is at one. I’ll call you as soon as I land.” She paused. “Love ya Freddy.”
“Be safe. Love you too, Nicki.”
Hearing her say that struck a chord for him. He had felt that way towards her since the day he took her out. Not the kind of love that she had for Tyler, but the kind you have towards a best friend. A best friend who feels like family. That’s what she had become to him. Family. It made him smile to know that he had someone so incredible in his life.
Now more than ever Freddy wanted to tell Tyler everything. It killed him to see Nicki so hurt. He knew that Tyler was hurting, too. He didn’t understand what he did wrong, because he had no idea how she felt about him. But Freddy made her a promise. A promise that he would keep.
** * * * * * *
Monday, Ristuccia Arena, 10:30 AM
Tyler laced up his skates before practice. He was the first one to get to the arena that morning, so he had time to kill while the rest of the team got ready. He was oblivious to everything that was going on around him. All he could think about was Nicki. It took everything he had not to call her. A few times he dialed her number, then realized he had no idea what to say to her. He was afraid to bring anything up because he had no idea what she was feeling.
Milan broke him out of his stupor. “Hey. How’s Nicki?”
Were they ever going to leave him alone about it?
“I wouldn’t know.”
“What do you mean? I thought you guys were okay,” Milan said, confused.
Tyler decided to finally open up to him. “We were. Then I fucked up. And I’ve been too scared to admit it. I don’t think she even wants to talk to me.”
Brad hobbled over. He only had on one skate.
“Are you talking about Nicki?”
Tyler nodded.
“Dude, Freddy didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“She’s in California.”
“California?” Milan and Tyler asked at the same time.
“Yeah, man. They found her brother and he’s on trial for murder. She’s been out there since Friday.”
Tyler shot up and ran over to his locker, grabbing his phone. He dialed Freddy’s number.
“What’s up Ty?”
“What’s up? What’s up is you not telling me that Nicki is in frigging California! How did that just escape your mind?”
“I’m sorry, bro. She asked me not to tell you.”
“Why would she say that?” Tyler was hurt. He knew that she wasn’t happy with him, but to go all the way across the country and not tell him? And her brother! Murder?
“I don’t know. You’ll have to ask her,” said Freddy.
“Fine. I will.”
9/9/13