Nicki opened her eyes. What the hell? How did she get in bed?

She looked to her left. Tyler was sprawled out on his back with an arm over his face. She seized the opportunity to watch him sleep. He looked so innocent and vulnerable when he was asleep. Nicki propped herself up on an elbow and gazed at his boyish face as the memories of the night before came flooding back to her.

Now she remembered. She’d fallen asleep while Tyler played with her hair. He must have carried her to bed at some point. Surprisingly, she wasn’t the least bit hung over. As much as she didn’t want to, it was her duty to make breakfast. Nicki planted a kiss on Tyler’s bare chest before getting out of bed.

She nearly walked out of the room, but realized that she didn’t have anything on underneath his shirt. Oops. She stepped into a pair of pajama shorts and headed out to the kitchen quietly, so that she wouldn’t wake Lisa and Zach, who were passed out on the couch.

Nicki sang under her breath while she prepared eggs and pancakes; she didn’t know who would want what. There was no denying that she was in an unbeatable mood. She had a feeling that her appointment with Dr. Garrett would go well. Her stomach was completely healed, and there was no pain.

Tyler having the entire day off certainly added to her high spirits. The next day he and the Bruins would play game five of the Stanley Cup Championship. They were up three games to one. If they pulled out a win tomorrow night, they cinched the cup. Nicki knew in her gut that they would win. They wanted it more than anything.

When breakfast was halfway done, she made a huge batch of coffee. Someone was bound to be hung over. Between the six of them, they’d polished off two full handles. And she hoped the smell would start to wake everyone up. Nicki was always the first one out of bed. Sometimes it got a little boring.

Just as she flipped the last pancake onto a plate, she felt a pair of little arms around her waist.

“Hey doll face,” Lisa said in her groggy morning voice. She’d had it since they were little. Even when they were ten she sounded like a man when she first woke up.

Nicki giggled. “Morning. What do you want? Pancakes? Eggs? Coffee?”

“Yes, please. God I have one hell of a hangover. How are you even functioning right now?”

Lisa took a seat at the island and dropped her head onto her arms.

“I don’t know, actually. I feel totally fine. I slept great,” Nicki responded as she prepared a plate for Lisa.

She scoffed. “Yeah, so did I. I still woke up with my head pounding.”

“Sorry, girly. If it makes you feel any better, I had a frigging ball last night. That was so much fun. We have to do it more often.”

“I’m one hundred percent on board with you. I love Freddy and Evaline. And Tyler, of course.”

Hearing his name put a smile on Nicki’s face.

“Isn’t he incredible?”

Lisa nodded. “We had a little chat last night after you fell asleep.”

“Oh yeah?” she asked curiously. “What about?”

“Nothing important. He’s a good guy, Nick. He really loves you.”

She was beaming. Whatever Tyler had said to her must have been really sweet. She wanted to know, but she didn’t want to be nosey.

“Well, it’s a two way street.”

“I can see that. So… how serious are you guys?”

Nicki crinkled her eyebrows. “Why do you ask?”

“Just curious.”

“Um, I don’t really know. I mean, we do live together.”

Lisa just stared at her. Nicki could tell she wanted to say something, but wasn’t sure if she should or not.

“Could you see yourself marrying him?”

Her question took Nicki aback. Why did it seem like everyone was hanging on that lately?

“Isn’t it obvious?” she asked, shaking her head. She took a seat next to her friend. “Lis, I am absolutely head over heels for this boy.”

Lisa half smiled. “It sounds like there’s a but coming.”

Nicki nodded. “But… I’m scared that it won’t last. What if he wakes up one morning and remembers that he could literally get any girl he wants? There are plenty of girls out there that are way better than I am. I don’t even get why he’s with me in the first place.”

“I can’t believe you just said that,” Lisa said, disgusted. “The fuck’s wrong with you?!”

Nicki glanced around the room, not sure what to say.

“Nicki. You are a beautiful, strong, smart, caring woman. You’re worth a hundred thousand of those hoes out there that want to get with him. And he knows it. My God, does he know it.”

She felt her eyes starting to water. “Really?”

“Yes, really. When are you gonna see that? What’s it going to take?”

Before Nicki could conjure up an answer, Evaline strolled into the kitchen.

“Somebody looks awfully happy,” Lisa teased. “Did he keep you up all night?”

Evaline giggled. “No, I slept great actually. I mean, I’m not saying we didn’t…”

“You guys are too cute,” Nicki said as Evaline sat down to join them. “If you don’t mind me asking, what happened yesterday? He was really upset.”

She sighed. “I feel so bad about that. I just really missed him, ya know? I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a long distance relationship, but it’s so hard. Not seeing him for months at a time. Especially when I’m upset or something and the only thing I want is for him to hold me and he’s thousands of miles away. I totally snapped.”

Nicki put her hand over Evaline’s. “You’ll be okay. You love each other. That’s what matters. So you’re really moving in with us?! What about school?”

A smile broke out on her face. “Yeah, I really am. I’m actually thinking of transferring where you go. It’d be nice to actually know someone.”

“I’d love that! We could commute together! It kinda sucks going by myself.”

“I’m so excited. I just finished my semester yesterday. I should be moving in within the next couple of weeks… It’s really nice of you and Tyler to let me come. I can’t thank you enough.”

“You are literally the sweetest thing,” Lisa chirped.

“Evy, you don’t have to thank either one of us. I mean, you can thank Ty if you want, he is the one that pays for this place. But we love you, and we love Freddy. We’re gonna have so much fun.”

“Who’s having fun?” a husky voice asked from the hallway.

Nicki ran up to Tyler and threw her arms around him. “Morning sweetheart. You sound tired.”

He laughed. “I am tired. Sweetheart?”

“I warned you about what happens when you play with that girl’s hair,” Lisa said, smirking.

Nicki nuzzled her head into the crook of his neck. “You can go back to bed if you want. I don’t have to be at the hospital until eleven.”

Tyler shook his head. “Those pancakes smell way too good. I’ll nap later.”

That was fine with Nicki. She’d never admit to it, afraid that she would sound creepy, but she loved when he took naps. It meant she could spend an hour or so snuggling with him; enjoying him. Sometimes she would fall asleep too, but she preferred to play with his hair and trace her fingers over every one of his available body parts. He interrupted her brief moment of bliss.

“Not saying I’m not enjoying this, but if I don’t eat soon, I think my stomach is going to implode.”

“Stop complaining and hug your girl,” Lisa scolded.

Nicki smiled and let go of him, stopping to give him a peck on the lips. If she could spend every second of every day doing nothing but showering him with affection, that would be perfectly fine with her. Unfortunately, plenty of things stood in the way of that. Like eating.

She piled pancakes onto a plate and stuck it in the microwave to heat it up.

“Sorry they aren’t fresh, I woke up really early,” she apologized as she set it down in front of him. “You want anything Evy?”

“Just some coffee, if you don’t mind.”

Nicki poured her a cup of coffee and placed the creamer and sugar in front of her. After getting a glass of orange juice for herself and one for Tyler, she joined them at the island. She sat in silence for a moment. She couldn’t keep it in any longer.

“So, what did you guys do after I fell asleep last night?”

She waited for Tyler’s reaction. He shot a worried glance at Lisa and brought a hand up to the back of his neck. There was absolutely no way…

“Nothing, really,” he responded dryly.

Her mind had to be playing tricks on her. Nicki had a bad habit of seeing signs where there weren’t any. She sighed, trying to push the thoughts away. It was thinking like that that would get her heart broken someday.

** * * * *

Tyler could feel the tension in the room as Dr. Garrett poked and prodded at Nicki’s stomach. It had been lingering since breakfast that morning, made worse only by awaiting the pending news of Nicki’s condition.

He could read her like a book. He knew that she was catching on, and that she was refusing to let herself believe that it could happen. It was painful to watch her doubt herself that way. One of the things Tyler loved the most about her was her confidence; her flame. Lately it had been entirely diminished.

As the doctor ran tests and asked questions, Tyler sat across the room, astray in his own realm of thought. He simply couldn’t find a way to show her how much he loved her, and he knew that she needed to see it. Lisa had let it slip that Nicki was worried he would decide one day that he was too good for her. It didn’t make any sense to him, and he was determined to prove that it would never happen. Tyler pulled out his phone in an act fueled by desperation.

** * * * *

“Alright, Nicki, you can go get dressed now.”

She got off of the examination table slowly and headed towards the changing stall in the corner of the room. Tyler watched her silhouette from behind the curtain as she stripped out of her hospital gown.

Dr. Garrett cleared his throat. Tyler ripped his eyes away from Nicki and glanced around the room. He didn’t realize he was being so obvious. He was having a hard time staying away from her as it was. Nicki knew how to take care of him, there wasn’t a question about it. But a good amount of strain had been put on their relationship lately. Some from Nicki’s injury, some from Tyler’s playoff run. Normally, outside stressors didn’t affect them. When either of them was frustrated, there were two ways to handle it.

Talking and cuddling. Or sex. The latter tended to be the most effective.

Nicki wearily stepped out from behind the curtain. Tyler couldn’t help but notice the way the yoga pants she was wearing shaped her backside. It was a funny thing. Nicki had the cute, girl next door kind of looks. But she had an ass that could turn heads from a mile away. She noticed him looking at her and raised an eyebrow.

“If you could just have a seat,” Dr. Garrett said, gesturing towards the chair next to Tyler.

She plopped herself down in his lap instead of taking the chair next to him. Tyler smiled and put an arm around her back, letting the other one fall over her legs. They both stared at Dr. Garrett, waiting for whatever news he was about to give them. He took a deep breath and looked down at his clipboard.

“This is nothing short of miraculous,” he started. Tyler felt Nicki sling an arm around his neck for support. “Ms. Westmoore, I’m going to be brutally honest with you. You really shouldn’t have survived this mess.”

Nicki nervously played with the hair on the back of Tyler’s head. He palmed one of her thighs and squeezed reassuringly, trying to help her relax. He wasn’t sure why she was nervous; it sounded to him like things were going fine.

“Not only did you survive, but you’ve already made a nearly full recovery. There’s no damage to your brain, your heart is recovering, and the wound has completely healed. It goes against all medical sense. It should have taken months for you to get to this point in your recovery.”

Tyler let out a breath. He’d known that she was going to be okay, but in the back of his mind he was constantly worrying that they would find out later that something had gone wrong. For a moment, they were both speechless.

“So… does that mean we can have sex?”

Tyler leaned his head against her shoulder and quietly laughed. She was shameless. He loved it.

Dr. Garrett chuckled a little himself. “Yes, I do believe that would be fine.” He directed his line of vision towards Tyler. “Take it easy for now, just in case.”

After going over some small details and setting up one last appointment, they shook the doctor’s hand and left the exam room. Nicki grabbed Tyler’s hand as they walked through the parking lot to his car. He opened the passenger door for her; she didn’t say a thing. Normally he would have tried to make her feel better, to coax out of her whatever she was holding in. This time, he felt it was best to leave her alone. He didn’t have the right words to say to her. Talking would only make her feel worse.

The entire ride home Tyler was suffocating. There were so many things he wanted to say. So many things she needed to know. It was killing him to keep everything from her. But he wasn’t ready yet.

He followed Nicki up the stairs and through the door of their apartment. When he turned to close the door, he was surprised with a pair of arms around his torso. Tyler felt Nicki drop her head onto his back and he put his arms over hers.

“Are you okay?” he asked, just loudly enough for her to hear. She didn’t respond. “Can I have your phone?”

The arms around him loosened and he turned to face her. Her eyes were red and watery. A despondent energy was radiating from her; Tyler could feel it in every bone in his body. He rested a hand on her cheek and asked again, “Can I see your phone?”

She wordlessly reached into her pocket and gave it to him. Tyler typed in her passcode and searched through her music, trying to find the playlist Lisa had told him about. When he was waiting for Nicki's appointment to be over, he had texted her. He asked what the hell he could do that would make her realize how much he loved her. She said she didn't know, that Nicki was difficult that way. He already knew that. But Lisa suggested one thing. Apparently, since Nicki was a young girl, she'd had a list of songs that she thought would be perfect to play when she lost her virginity. Nice, romantic songs. She'd been too nervous to ask Mark, and after that just never got around to it. It sounded like an okay idea to Tyler.

He located the playlist, and his hands trembled as he attached her phone to the iHome. A soft, quiet song that Tyler had never heard before began to play. Although he’d never heard it, he could understand why it had made it onto her playlist.

“Tyler, how did y – “

He wasn’t going to let her talk. Tyler grabbed her face with both hands and pulled her to him. Nicki didn’t fight it. She snaked her arms underneath his shirt and around his waist. When she hit skin, chills shot through his body, momentarily stunning him. He pulled away slightly, but eager lips drew him back in. Her tongue gently pushed its way through his parted lips, igniting something he hadn’t felt in weeks.

Tyler lifted her off of the ground and brought her to their bedroom, delicately setting her down on the bed. The music from the living room flooded through his ears, through his thoughts. Impatient hands tugged at the hem of his shirt. He pulled it over his head and let it drop to the floor before stripping Nicki of hers. Tyler nudged her legs apart and lowered himself onto her, sighing when he made contact with her warm, soft skin.

Her hands slowly made their way up his chest to the back of his neck. Her tender touch kindled the fire that had been burning deep in his stomach, sending a breath of warmth through him. Tyler let his head fall onto her collarbone, where the necklace he gave her rested. Fingers tousled his hair.

He left a trail of adoring kisses up her neck, until he reached her lips once again. He desperately fought against the urgency that nagged him. Everything needed to be slow, affectionate. Everything needed to be perfect.

Nicki swiftly and skillfully unbuttoned his jeans. Before Tyler could react, she had a hand around him. He let out a deep groan and grabbed a fistful of her hair. He strained to get the words out.

“Not yet.”

She released her hold on him and gazed at him with such lust that it nearly took his breath away. He had to look away, purely for the sake of preserving his sanity. Tyler brushed his lips against her cheek, then her jaw. Nicki responded by gliding her hands up and down his sides. He drew in a breath, sucking in his stomach. Every touch made his heart skip a beat.

He unhurriedly made his way back to her neck. The second Tyler approached her favorite spot, she moaned softly and ran a hand up his spine and through his hair. Nicki tilted her head back, pushing further into the pillows, beckoning him to do his worst. Tyler cupped a hand around the other side of her neck and pulled her skin into his mouth. Another feeble moan escaped her lips. She was entirely at his justice.

Tyler switched to the other side of her neck, sliding his hands underneath her back in the process. He expertly unhooked the clasp on her bra. He removed a hand from beneath her and ran it up her stomach, slipping it under her newly loosened bra, earning a long sigh from Nicki. The hand that tugged his hair inched to the top of his head and pushed down lightly.

The pulse that had developed under his belt told him he couldn’t wait much longer, anyways. Tyler gave in and edged down her body, never allowing his lips to leave her skin. He stopped when he reached the scar above her hipbone and finally looked up at her. He’d never seen so many emotions displayed in a single expression. He could see all of the pain, all of the sadness and loss. But there was also a trace of hope in her eyes. Tyler could tell that she was trying to fight it, to push it away.

He touched his lips to her tainted skin, hoping to relay all of the things he couldn’t put into words. In a way, Tyler could relate to the one, reddish flaw on her otherwise perfect body. He would be a part of her until she decided to get rid of him. There was no way around it, no way out. He was already too far in.

Sensing her growing impatience, Tyler gripped the band of her sweatpants and yanked them off. He could feel the heat radiating from her. He’d finally reached his breaking point. He teased her with his tongue, getting ever closer, but never where she wanted him to be.

“Ty, please,” she begged.

Tyler clenched his strong hands around her hips to keep her in place and tentatively stuck his tongue out to meet her. In seconds, she was squirming in his grip. The past two weeks had permitted him plenty of time to figure out what she liked. What could make her come undone, and what could send her to the edge without pushing her over. He stopped as her muscles began to contract. A frustrated groan came from above him.

He kicked off his already unbuttoned jeans and positioned himself on top of Nicki. She reached down to touch him; he was sure she could feel him throbbing. Before giving either of them the satisfaction they so desperately desired, he leaned forward to kiss her. Tyler had promised himself that he wouldn’t let his longing get the best of him. He constantly reminded himself that this was for Nicki, not him.

She pushed her hips towards him, rubbing against him. Tyler had used up all of his self control. He pushed back, letting himself sink into her. Nicki’s fingers dug into his shoulder blades, only furthering the ecstasy that consumed him. He let himself get lost in her as he gradually rocked his hips, getting as deep as he could before pulling back.

Nicki got her legs around him, shoving him deeper still. He let out a long, heavy breath through his nose, giving his best attempt to remain in control. Tyler ceased for a moment so that he could look at her. He took in every detail of her face. Her molten brown eyes, perfectly lined with full, black lashes. Her flawless skin and shapely pink lips. For the first time, he noted the tiny freckles that were sprinkled over her cheeks and across the bridge of her nose. He shook his head.

“You are the most beautiful girl in the entire world. How did I get so lucky?”

It was something he asked himself nearly every day. But he’d never said it out loud. He watched as her eyes glossed over. Tyler dropped his lips onto hers and held her face in his hands as he thrust into her. Nicki made soft noises into his mouth, encouraging him. He kept a slow rhythm, attempting to prolong the closeness he felt to her. Loving hands moved across his skin, heightening his sensitivity.

Tyler quickened his pace when he felt Nicki squeeze her legs tighter around him. The soft noises he’d heard from her before evolved into passionate cries. She screamed his name, making him go utterly insane. He felt her muscles flex underneath him as he let himself go. Seconds later, he’d collapsed on her, dropping his head onto her shoulder. Nicki secured her arms around his back. He could tell she had no intention of letting go anytime soon.

After a while, she brought one hand off of his back. Her warm fingertips stroked the side of his face. It was so soothing.

“How did you know about the music?” she finally asked, voice weak.

Tyler sighed. He knew that eventually they would have to talk. He wasn’t as good at the talking part.

“I guess you could say it’s a really long story. Nicki, Lisa told me what you said this morning.” Her fingers came to an abrupt halt on his cheekbone. “I just don’t get you.”

He could hear her heart begin to beat a little faster, but she said nothing.

“I don’t really know how to say this to you,” he continued. “I’ve told you I can’t live without you. Did you think I was lying?”

“No,” she whispered.

“So then what the hell would make you think I’d just wake up one morning and forget all about you?” He heard her take a breath in to speak. “No, don’t speak. I know exactly why.” Tyler tried not to be cryptic, but there wasn’t any way around it. “You’ve heard people talking, right? About something that you don’t think is possible. Because you don’t think you’re good enough. Or because you think you don’t deserve it. Which, by the way, is fucking ridiculous. You deserve more than I’ll ever be able to give you. I can’t believe you don’t see that, but I’m really god damn happy that you don’t. It might be selfish, I don’t know. I honestly don’t care. I’d do anything to make you stay with me. And you think that I would leave you. Do you understand why I’m confused?”

“I-“

“I’m not finished. Let me get this out, or you might never hear it. I love you. And I know you know that. But, at least right now, there’s no way that I can show or tell you how much. So you’re just going to have to trust me when I tell you that there isn’t a single person in this entire world that I’d rather be with. You think that when I tell you you’re beautiful I’m talking about the way you look. It’s not just that, Nicki. I’m not going to lie to you, I’ve been with some really gorgeous girls. And not a single one of them has anything on you. They were girls; weak, trashy, insecure, no personality at all. Only cared about themselves, and me for a night or two. I mean, Christ Nicki, you’re a woman. At first, it seriously intimidated me. I can handle a bunch of easy girls at a club, no problem. But you, you’re so confident and strong willed. I didn’t know if I could manage it. I was so used to being the one in control. That night in California when I kissed you, I completely surrendered myself to you. I knew from the get go that I’d be at your mercy. And it’s not like you made it that way. It’s just who you are. To be honest, at first I felt like a total pussy. I knew that if we ever got in a fight, I’d be the one to back down. If there was an important call to make, you’d get the final decision. I can’t say no to you. Ever since this whole thing started, I’ve felt like I’m on some crazy ride that could go off the tracks at any moment. It’s exhilarating. I can’t get enough. You drive me absolutely insane, in the best possible way.”

Nicki flattened her palm on his cheek. “Tyler, I – “

“Still not done. Do you want to know possibly my favorite thing about you? If I could actually choose.”

She nodded her head, defeated. He wasn’t going to let her speak until he finished.

“Your compassion. You have been royally fucked up the ass by life more times than I can count. And you still manage to find beauty in everything. You love everyone, even the people who really don’t deserve it. You’d do anything for the people you care about. Anything. As much as it kills me to see you get taken advantage of sometimes, I have so much respect for you. I don’t know anyone else who has that much patience and trust; you’re so easy to forgive everyone for the things they’ve done to you. That takes so much strength. You’re really inspirational, actually. I’ve given quite a few second chances because I thought it was what you would do. I know this sounds really little kiddish, but I just want you to be proud of me. You’re that good of a person. I want to feel like I can measure up to you; like I’m worthy of even being around you. And the best part? Even when I completely fuck up, you’re always there to make me feel better. You never make me feel like I did something wrong. I don’t know how you do it. I guess I’m starting to ramble. My point is, Nicki, you’re like air to me. Laugh at me later, I know it’s cheesy. But I’m serious. When you’re not with me, I feel so deflated. Like a huge piece of me is missing. And when I’m with you, well… there really isn’t any way to describe it.”

Tyler finally picked up his head to look at Nicki. Tears streamed down her face. He couldn’t tell what she was thinking. She didn’t give him much time to figure it out, either. Before he had a chance to protest, she had him on his back and sat on him. He hadn’t even realized that he’d gotten hard again. Tyler muttered a curse under his breath as she moved lithely on top of him. He had never seen her move like that. He firmly grasped her hips so he could feel her bones and muscles move underneath her skin as she worked on him.

There was a ferocity in her eyes that Tyler had desperately missed. When Nicki got emotional, she got volatile. And her one goal was to make him lose his mind. She acted instinctively on one of her most primal desires. Tyler liked to think he was good in bed, but when Nicki wanted to be, she was like fire.

He struggled underneath her, biting his tongue to withstand the pleasure. He squeezed his eyes shut after catching a glimpse of her breasts bobbing up and down. There was only so much a guy could handle. As it turned out, closing his eyes made it more unbearable. He settled for watching himself, visible one second, engulfed by Nicki the next.

When he felt himself getting close, he inched a hand southward from her hip and rubbed her with his thumb, evoking a pleading cry from her. She came down on him harder and faster, ripping at the skin on his chest with her fingernails. Just as he was about to get off, he bucked his hips up at her, causing them both to yell out.

Nicki fell weakly onto his chest, exhausted. Her body was slick with perspiration, as was his. Her breathing was quick and shallow, as if she had just run a sprint. Tyler ran a hand through her messy, sweaty hair.

“As if I needed another reason to worship you,” he said casually. It was anything but a casual statement.

She shook her head against his chest. “I really want to tell you not to say that. But after what you just told me, I promise I’ll try not to be so hard on myself. If it really means that much to you, - “

“It does. Besides, I like it when you get a little cocky. It’s such a turn on,” he said, grinning.

“Hmm, I’ll be sure to remember that,” she purred into his ear.

An electric current wound through his veins. That was exactly what he was talking about.

“Should we shower?” she asked him. “I’m all nasty.”

“Yeah, in a sec.” He paused, contemplating whether or not he should bring it up again. He absentmindedly drew circles on her shoulder with his fingertips. “Listen, I know I’m not always so great at saying what I mean. I kinda get really off track and never end up getting to my actual point. But Nicki, I could tell what you were feeling this morning. You were doubting yourself. And I’m pretty sure you were purposely trying to push away the hope that you were feeling. I’m just saying, you shouldn’t. You should just let yourself hope.”

Nicki lifted her head and stared him dead in the eyes. “Are you saying, - “

He interrupted her with a kiss. A kiss long and passionate enough that he hoped it would shut her up.

Luckily, it worked. When he pulled his lips away from hers, she didn’t say a word. She let her head fall to his shoulder and slipped her arms between his neck and the pillows. What seemed like only seconds later, she started to snore softly, breath tickling Tyler’s collarbone. So much for that shower.

He was about to move her off of him, but decided against it. He didn’t want to wake her up. And she was light enough to stay on top of him without making it hard to breathe. Tyler wrapped his arms around her back and held her snugly. He was feeling oddly warm. That was when he realized that he was still inside of her. Oh, well.

Tyler closed his eyes and tried to breathe in unison with her, chest falling when hers rose. It didn’t take much for their bodies to sync.

Only when he was positive she was asleep, he whispered, “You know exactly what I was saying.”