"Aristotle's theory would not have been valid had it not existed in the realm of actuality and possibility. Think of it in terms of an oak tree.." Nicki's philosophy teacher droned on. God, he had the most boring voice.

It was only fifteen minutes into class and she was already doodling in her notebook, daydreaming. She looked at the date written on the top of her notes. Wednesday, January 15. Oh my god. Today made exactly three months since Mark..

She picked up her notebook and backpack and ran out of the room. She didn't care what the people in her class would think. She got to the girls bathroom and collapsed against the wall, chest heaving. She pulled her knees in close to her stomach and wrapped her arms around them. How could she forget? The break down hit her like a ton of bricks. There was a knock on the door.

"Nicki? Nicki I'm coming in okay?"

A girl from her class walked in, Rebecca. She and Rebecca weren't close, but they had shared three classes together. She was in Nicki's Italian class when Mark died. She sat down next to her on the floor.

"What happened in there?" She asked, genuinely concerned.

Nicki opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Just a long moan and more heaving. "Mark," she managed to spit out.

"Aw sweetie I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

Nicki shook her head.

"Well I'll at least tell Professor Hartley that you won't be coming back. He'll understand. Are you gonna be okay?"

The sincerity of her acquaintance helped Nicki calm down for a moment. She nodded to Rebecca. After a few deep breaths, she pushed herself up off of the floor. She glanced in a mirror to wipe off the streaks of mascara that were cascading down her face.

She left the bathroom and headed down the stairs to the exit of the building. There was no way she was making it through her two afternoon classes. She contemplated driving over to Lisa's, but she knew that she and Zach both worked until five every day, as did her father.

She pulled her phone from her pocket. She looked up at the dark grey sky, as if expecting some divine intervention. When no moment of clarity came to her, she pulled up her recent calls, pressed send, and held the phone to her ear.

It rang twice. "Hello?"

She became nervous and choked on her words. "H-hi Tyler. It's Nicki." They hadn't spoken since Sunday when he dropped her off at Lisa's after breakfast.

"Hey! What's up?" He sounded happy. She didn't want to bother him with her issues.

"Uh, you know. Nevermind. I shouldn't have called. I'll let you go." Her voice cracked when she spoke.

"No, no. What's going on? Are you okay?" When she didn't answer he asked, "Where are you?"

"I'm at school. I left class. Today.." she couldn't bring herself to say the words out loud.

"You clearly aren't okay. Listen, I just got out of practice. I'm gonna come pick you up. Salem State right?"

"No!" She said a little too loudly, "No, that's completely unnecessary. I just needed someone to talk to, and no one else is around."

"We're friends now, right? I take care of my friends. I'm coming whether you want me to or not," he said, not about to give in.

"If you're sure.. No. I can't just leave my car here." Why was she making excuses?

"Fine. Drive home, text me your address. I'll be there as soon as I can. Hang in there alright? Don't do anything stupid." Did he really care about her that much?

She pulled the phone away from her ear. As much as she didn't want to admit it, he had already made her feel better. But she felt the numbness and the darkness creeping up on her.

The drive home only took her about fifteen minutes. It had started to rain and snow, dampening her mood even more. She waited for Tyler in her car, engine running. She tried to keep the thoughts of Mark at bay. It couldn't have been only three months. It felt more like three lifetimes since the accident.

"I had such a great time with you tonight, Mark. I still can't believe you got us those tickets! You're the best boyfriend a girl could ask for, you know that?" Nicki said as she gave him a peck on the lips. He gave her his toothy smile that she loved so much.

"Only for the best girlfriend a guy could ask for. I'm glad you had a good time. What a fucking game!" He put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to give her a kiss on the head.

They found his beat up blue Pontiac in the parking garage.

"Buckle up now, okay? You're precious cargo," he said, giving her hand a squeeze before he started the car. Mark never wore his seatbelt. He said he felt more free with it off.

Nicki reached over and turned on the radio. Some mainstream song came on.

"What bullshit," she said, plugging her iPhone into the auxilary. She put on Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls. It was their song. He smiled at her.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too."

She started to sing along; she knew every word. Mark loved it when she sang.

When the song ended, Nicki stopped singing and gazed out of her window at Boston, lit up and alive, even though it was nearly midnight. She was so happy. If only life could always be this perfect. She looked over at Mark before straightening herself out and facing forward. It came out of nowhere.

"Oh my God! Mark look out!" She screamed. A car had rammed through the barrier in the tunnel and was lunging directly towards them. It hit Mark's side of the car, making them spin out of control. The Pontiac flipped over and skidded on its roof.

That was the last thing she remembered. It took a moment for Nicki to realize that she was shaking all over. A knock on the window of her car scared her half to death, making her scream. Tyler was standing outside the door, waiting. She cut the engine and climbed out of the car.

"Sorry I scared you," he said before embracing her.

He caught her off gaurd. She tried to push back, but he wrapped his arms tighter around her shoulders. She gave in and leaned all of her weight into him, resting her head just below his collarbone. She let herself tremble in his arms, and felt his hand stroke her hair.

"It's gonna be okay," he whispered in her ear. His comforting gestures calmed her and helped her find the strength to tell him what happened.

She backed away and began to speak, but he interrupted her. "Let's do this at my place. It's too cold and rainy to be outside. Come on." He slipped an arm around her waist and led her to his car, opening the door and helping her in.

Once inside the car, Nicki realized why it had taken him so long to get to her house. The backseat was filled with all sorts of snack paraphernalia.

"Did you get that all for me?" She asked, astonished.

"Well, I'm gonna have some too. And I know you don't drink much, but I picked up some vodka. Just in case."

"Why are you being so nice to me? Is it because you feel bad for me?" She wasn't sure she wanted to hear his answer.

"I told you, because we're friends. I thought you were the one who decided that. This is what I do when my friends are upset," he said, offended that she would question his motives. "You let me know when you're ready to talk. Take as much time as you need."

He turned on the radio. She was having deja-vu. The same bullshit song that was playing the night Mark died came on.

"You've got to be freakin kidding me," she said, not bothering to hold back the tears. She sobbed uncontrollably, to the point where Tyler had to pull over. He didn't say a word, he just looked at her.

She collected herself enough to explain. "Today makes three months since Mark died. This song was playing right before the accident. I haven't heard it since, until now."

She slumped down in her seat, exhausted. Living on an emotional roller coaster was not easy.

Tyler quickly changed the station. "Jesus, that's horrible." She could tell he had no idea what to say. Who would?

"You have an iPhone right?" he asked her.

"Yeah, why?" She didn't see where he was going with this.

"Do you have your music on there?"

"Yup. All of it. Why though?" Did he want to listen to her music?

"So let's put on your happy playlist. Give me your phone, I'll plug it in," he said.

"How did you know that I have a happy playlist?" She was plainly surprised.

"Everyone has a happy playlist!" The way he said it made Nicki laugh. "What's it under?"

"Feel good," she said. She tried to recall the playlist, hoping there wasn't anything embarrassing on it.

He nodded his head as he searched for a song. "No way! This song kicks ass!"

She waited to see what it was, and instantly recognized it. It was one of her favorites. Sugar We're Going Down by Fall Out Boy.

"I haven't heard this since like the eighth grade," he said, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. "Brings back so many good memories."

"Yeah, it does that for me too." She couldn't hold back a smile, thinking back to the best years of her life, when nothing was complicated or difficult.

"Here comes my favorite part!" Tyler said, about to sing along.

Enticed by the upbeat song, Nicki decided to join.

"Is this more than you bargained for yet? Oh, don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet wishing to be the friction in your jeans. Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him. I'm just a notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song," they sang together at the top of their lungs.

Tyler stopped, laughing hysterically, still moving his head to the music. Nicki, caught in her moment, kept belting out the words. The song finally ended, leaving her feeling truly joyful. She hadn't sang since the accident.

"Wow, you have an amazing voice," Tyler said, "I had no idea you could sing like that."

She blushed and bit her bottom lip. "I used to sing all the time. I don't really think I'm much good, but it always made me happy."

"You are gonna love my roommate. He sings too. And he plays the guitar. You guys should do some music together," he said, excited to have finally broken through the wall she put up.

"That would actually be really cool. Thanks Tyler, for being such a good friend," she said, straight from the bottom of her heart.

They spent the rest of the ride listening to Nicki's playlist.

"You listen to some really good music," he said.

"Thanks. Let me know if you want me to burn you some CDs or something. I'm not against illegally downloading music. I know, I'm going to Hell," she said sarcastically.

"Here we are, my humble domain," he said as he pulled into the parking lot of a fancy looking apartment complex.

They grabbed the grocery bags from the backseat and Tyler led the way to his building. He stopped in front of his door and unlocked it, gesturing for Nicki to go first. She looked around, taking everything in.

"Holy shit! This is what you call an apartment? This is bigger than my entire house." And it was. Most of it was open, with an adjoining living room, kitchen, and dining room. The ceilings had to have been twelve feet tall, and directly across the room from the front door was a balcony that looked out over the city. The decor could have used a little work, but the entire space was gorgeous.

"This place is incredible," she said under her breath. He heard her anyways.

"You're the first girl to come in here and not complain about something," he said, appreciative of her compliment.

"What the hell would they complain about?" She didn't see anything wrong with it.

"Mostly the wall color. And the decorations. Or lack-there-of."

"It could use a little work.." she said, teasing him.

"You're a jerk. Fine, if you want to paint the walls and buy new furniture, be my guest."

"I'd love to actually. I'm really into interior design. I want to start my own business someday," she said, realizing she kept letting him into her personal life more and more.

"If you're serious, that'd be great. We need a new couch anyways. Marshall ruined it when he was a puppy," he said.

"What? You have a dog? How come you didn't tell me that? Where is it?" She asked. She loved dogs. She liked them more than she liked people.

"Shit, I have no idea. He usually comes running to the door when I come in." He looked around the apartment. "Marshall! Come here buddy!"

Nicki heard claws scraping against hardwood floor as Marshall galloped towards them.

"Aw! A lab! I can't believe you never mentioned that," she said, kneeling down to greet Marshall. "Hey boy! You are such a cutie! Oh, you like that huh?" The dog had flipped over on his back, exposing his stomach. She knew what that meant.

"He really likes you," Tyler said, laughing. "Looks like Marshall's found himself a girlfriend."

"Damn right he has," she said, playing with his silky, floppy ears.

Nicki watched Tyler walk into the kitchen and put the bags on the counter. She went over to join him. He pulled out three different types of cookies, Cheez-its, orange soda, popcorn, and M&Ms. That was Nicki's favorite candy. Lastly he opened the brown paper bag and pulled out a bottle of citrus flavored vodka.

"I figured we could mix it with the orange soda," he said.

"I might just take you up on that. So, what do we do now?"

"Whatever you want. We got ping pong, video games, movies, I think we have some board games somewhere. Or we can sit and talk if you'd rather do that."

She was tired of talking. "A movie sounds nice. What do you have?"

He thought for a moment. "No idea, go check in the entertainment center under the TV. I'll make us some popcorn."

Nicki turned and made her way towards the TV. It was mounted on the wall, and a stylish, modern entertainment center stood underneath it. It looked like it was made from mahogany. She opened the glass door and faced about a hundred DVDs and Blue Ray discs. They had every war, hockey, and action movie that she had ever heard of, even some that she hadn't.

"Find anything?" He called over the sound of the popcorn exploding in the microwave.

"Feel like watching Shawshank?"

He rounded the island in the kitchen and looked at her, "The Shawshank Redemption? You like that movie?"

"It's one of the best ever made," she said.

He was surprised. "Yeah, I agree."

Nicki found the Blue Ray player inside of the door next to the one with the movies. It was a touch screen. She pressed her finger against the "on" symbol and waited for the machine to start up. She put in the disc, but had no idea how to work anything else. She sat down on the couch, waiting for Tyler. Marshall leaped up next to her and nestled his head in her lap.

"Aw, Marshall you are just the sweetest!" She praised him. Not even her own dog did that to her.

Tyler came in with an oversized serving bowl completely filled with popcorn. He had obviously made more than one bag. He turned on the TV. He didn't even see Marshall until he went to sit down.

"Well that's no fair," he said, "Who am I supposed to cuddle with?" He stuck out his lower lip, pouting.

"Are you joking?" Nicki asked. He shook his head. "You're such a baby." She made fun of him, but the thought of him wanting to cuddle intimidated her. She had no idea how he felt about her, and he was sending some very mixed signals.

It was her desperation for physical contact that drove her to lift Marshall's head and scoot across the couch towards Tyler. He was sprawled out on the extended corner of the couch that jutted out to make an "L" shape. It was perfectly positioned to face the television, but there was really only room for one person. Regardless, she moved closer to him, until her right leg touched his left. He lifted his arm and let it rest around her shoulder. She leaned back into him and placed her head on his chest. For someone who was so muscular, it felt like lying on a soft pillow.

"See, isn't that better?" he said. She felt his breath when he spoke, shamelessly close to her face.

"Mmm.." was all that came out. Her whole body felt warm, tingling. Blood rushed to her cheeks from the intimacy of the moment they shared. Luckily he didn't notice.

Feeling left out, Marshall pawed his way over to them. Instead of doing the sensible thing and lying next to Nicki, he climbed over her and draped himself over both of their laps.

"Looks like we aren't going anywhere soon," Tyler said, chuckling. "Ready?"

He held up the remote to press play. She nodded against his chest. She noticed a musky fragrance coming from his neck, and wondered if it was cologne or just his scent.

The movie started, and neither of them spoke. Nicki knew that it would be stupid of her to think that there was something between them. They were supposed to be friends. She had to constantly remind herself that she was the only one who wanted a relationship. Which was fine with her, as long as she could stay like this with him forever.

She thought of Mark, and for the first time, didn't cry. She didn't shake. She felt at peace.