"Cause you don't know her like I do, you'll never understand, you don't know what we've been through, that girl's my best friend..."


Had things gone smoothly when Jamie stopped by the next day to pick up Cassidy? No, but he hadn’t expected them to. Of course she resisted leaving the apartment, even pinning it on Kennedy; probably hoping for some sympathy that would get her to stay. But just as Cassidy was adamant on staying, Jamie was set on taking her with him.

The drive helped calm things down, and like Kennedy had suggested, Jamie shaved off the moustache he had worked so hard to grow. Once the realization set in that Cassidy was going to be under the care of the Benn brothers for a while, she tried to tell herself not to take her frustrations out on Jamie. He didn’t deserve it. Throughout the entire relationship, he had done nothing but try his hardest to ensure that she would be happy. And now he was the taking the brunt of the shitty situation.

For two nights, Cassidy tried to reopen herself to Jamie, but every time he set a hand on her hip or around her shoulders, she felt her body go tense. And she knew Jamie felt it too. Mostly she wondered about how long this could go on; or how long Jamie would tolerate it. He’d probably give up and call the whole thing off before she could fix herself. That’s what Cassidy would do if she were in his position. At this moment, she seemed unfixable.

On the third night, Cassidy disappeared to her bedroom rather early. Jamie had set her up in a guest room instead of his own, hoping she’d have space to sort things out for herself while still being surrounded by the man that claimed to love her. But this night, like most, was plagued with the nightmare that was seared into her memory. The man pushing her against the brick wall, choking her…

Cassidy jolted up in bed, breathing heavily as beads of sweat gathered at her hairline. She looked around the room, becoming cognizant of where she was, and then set her head in her hands. Enough. That asshole has stolen too many hours of sleep.

She pushed the blankets off of herself and climbed to open the bedroom door. After looking down the long hallway, noticing the door to Jamie’s bedroom was open slightly she tiptoed to it. Once closer to his room, she could hear the TV going; some sportscasters talking about the start of the baseball season. Like many nights before, Jamie must’ve fallen asleep before he had the chance to turn the TV off.

Pushing the door open and looking to her right, she spotted Jamie in bed, although he wasn’t sleeping. He was partially sitting up with the pillows behind his head. As he saw her, he simply stared at her. With the way she’d acted the past few days, he was hesitant to offer any sort of interaction.

“Everything alright?” He murmured quietly, moving one hand behind his head.

Cassidy bit her lip, “I had a bad dream.” After it came out of her mouth, she reminded herself of a small child, incapable of discerning what was real and what was fake. Except in this case, the nightmare had been real and was now just haunting her.

Without responding, Jamie scooted further to the side and allowed more room for Cassidy to sit beside him. She took advantage of it and crawled into his bed, but instead of curling up on her side away from him, she cuddled into Jamie’s side, setting one hand over his chest.

He half-smiled and wrapped his arm around her, playing with the ends of her hair gently. When he looked down at her, her eyes were already closed and her breathing had settled. Jamie turned the TV off and adjusted himself so that he could lie down. He kissed the top of her head and nuzzled against her.

“Jamie…”

Slowly opening his eyes, he stroked her arm with his fingers, “hmm?”

“Sorry for the way I’ve been the past few days. I haven’t been very good to you,” she looked up at him and curled her fingers against his chest.

“You’ve had your reasons. Now we’re going to get through this and be stronger than before.”

Cassidy set her head against the base of Jamie’s neck and closed her eyes again. Taking a deep breath in, the smell of him overwhelmed her senses. He eventually closed his eyes as well, readjusting his body next to her.

---

When she awoke the next morning, she felt refreshed, knowing it was because she felt safe next to Jamie. However when she opened her eyes and looked to her left, he wasn’t beside her. Instead, there was a bouquet of dogwood flowers and a note, written in a sort of scribble.

Gone to practice. Won’t be back until afternoon. Make yourself at home. Love you Cass.

P.S. Dogwood flowers are incredibly hard to find in Dallas.

Cassidy smiled and brought the bouquet up to her nose, taking in the scent of the flowers. They made her think of home. And most of all, the fact that Jamie had taken the time to find them, reassured her that he was someone she could trust.

With a loud knock at the door, Cassidy was rushing downstairs, looking through the peephole before pulling the heavy, wood door open to reveal Kennedy standing there with two cups of coffee in her hands.

“I figured you might be in need of a little chat,”

Cassidy ushered her inside and they both took a seat in the living room, sitting next to each other on the couch, while facing each other. She took the cup from Kennedy’s hand and brought it up to her lips, cringing at the bitter drink.

“How you been Knoxious?”

“You mean after I spent two nights avoiding Jamie at all costs?” She paused and ran her thumb over the paper cup, “last night I had a bad dream about it all and stayed with Jamie in his bed.”

Kennedy tilted her head to the side as she took a sip of her own coffee, “that’s quite a big step considering how you were back at the apartment.”

“I had an epiphany last night,” she smiled at her friend who had chosen to forego wearing her contacts again. “That asshole doesn’t deserve more of my life. I had finally gotten to a place in my life where I was genuinely happy, and that son of a bitch had to go ruin it for me. Well not anymore,” she took a bigger sip of her strong coffee. “Jamie doesn’t deserve someone that shuts down every time something bad happens. And I want to be someone that Jamie deserves. If I have to suck it up and move on, that’s what I’m going to do.”

At this confession, Kennedy looked nervous. She chewed the inside of her lower lip anxiously and furrowed her eyebrows, “pushing it under the rug… pretending it didn’t happen? That doesn’t sound too healthy, Knoxious.” She held up her hands, “I know I’m not a psychologist, but this is something that requires healing.”

Cassidy sighed and set her cup down on the table in front of her. As she played with her fingers, she took a deep breath in, “it could take me weeks, months… hell it could take me years to heal from this. Am I really going to put Jamie through that? How long can he stay with me until he begins to question if I’m worth all this effort? If getting over this and being strong again is what I have to do to keep him around, then that’s what I’m gonna do.”

“Cassidy Knox, look at what this boy is doing to you,” Kennedy reached forward and set her hand on Cassidy’s leg. “You wanted to go west, you wanted to have the world at your fingertips and take every opportunity as it came to you. You wanted to own a business and be successful, and now all you want is to please Jamie Benn.”

She shrugged before looking into Kennedy’s eyes. “Just because my definition of the world has changed, doesn’t mean I don’t still want it. Jamie is my world, and I’m taking the opportunities as they’re coming to me. He’s offering me love, and happiness, and a future, and I’m taking advantage of that. We want the same things, and his values match mine.”

As Kennedy sighed and got closer to her friend, Cassidy picked up the remote and turned the TV on. The channel from the night before appeared on the screen, and per usual, it was a sport channel. By happenstance, Jamie appeared onscreen, being interviewed. He wiped his mouth with a towel and then ran it over his hair, pushing it back and to the side.

“Jamie, what’s it going to take for the team to beat the Penguins in this upcoming home stand. They’ve got two of the top scorers in the league in Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin. How can your team prepare?” The interviewer thrust a microphone into Jamie’s face.

“Uh…” Jamie pursed his lips and took a deep breath in, “we definitely have to work on our puck possession. Pittsburgh is a team that’s going to capitalize on the mistakes we make. I guess an upside is that I’ve played with Sid; I know his speed, I know the way he moves… Am I saying that I’m going to be able to stop Sidney Crosby from flying up the ice and putting a puck in the back of our net? No. But having knowledge of the way he operates is going to give us a chance to slow him down.”

“Is that what you have to do with Crosby, slow him down?”

“That, and not give him a chance to get in the slot. But like you said, they have Evgeni Malkin too. For me, he’s more of a wild card. I’ve never played with him, only against him. He’s quick, and he’s got hands that are only second to Sid.”

“If you can shut Crosby and Malkin down, do you think your team has a shot?”

“Of course. Even if we don’t succeed in shutting them down completely, our team always has a shot. We’ve got an amazing team here, and our guys have a lot of heart. If we stay focused, we can do anything.”

Cassidy smiled and glanced at Kennedy, catching her expression as she listened to Jamie’s answers.

“Speaking of focus,” the interviewer began, “there are those who believe yours has shifted. A man once set on taking on the NHL by storm, now set on winning the attention of a young woman.”

Jamie smiled and quickly wiped his lips again. He was slow to answer, and now Cassidy was sitting at the edge of the couch, waiting for his response with bated breath. “My job is my job, my pleasure is my pleasure. I’m careful not to mix the two.”

After his brief answer, the camera cut to a different sportscaster. Cassidy sat there in slight shock. Had that been a good answer? Did he insult her by saying that, or was he just stating a simple and obvious fact?

Cassidy glanced over at Kennedy and stared at her for a moment while things processed in her mind. Kennedy, too, sat silently as if she were waiting for Cassidy to say something to remedy the situation. “So he’s got a bit on his mind, and needs time to focus solely on hockey. I’m okay with that. It’s his job; I’m just… his girlfriend.”

“Alright honey,” Kennedy murmured, patting Cassidy’s shoulder. “You keep telling yourself that.”

She shook her head and picked up her coffee cup again, this time taking a longer sip than before, “why does it bother you that I’m with Jamie?”

“You’re becoming dependent on him. He tells you to jump, you say how high? Cassidy, I like that you’ve found someone you really care about; I think that’s great. But you haven’t been together for very long, and you look at him like he’s some sort of diety.” With Cassidy’s expression growing more frustrated, Kennedy stood up and backed off towards the front door, “I don’t want you to feel like I’m attacking you. It’s just something to think about.”

Kennedy let herself out quickly and without another word. Meanwhile, Cassidy grabbed a pillow next to her and pulled it tightly to her chest, squeezing it as hard as she could. It would be at least a few more hours until Jamie and Jordie opened up the door from the garage. Both were wet, either from sweat or a shower, but Cassidy approached to greet them anyways.

Jamie smiled and leaned down to her, pecking her lips quickly, before setting his equipment bag down in the garage. When he came back, Cassidy was leaning against the kitchen counter with her arms folded across her chest.

“Your job is your job, your pleasure is your pleasure?” She glanced up at him as he pulled a water bottle from the fridge. “I got shit from Kennedy because of that comment.”

“So you saw the interview…” he murmured, taking a sip from the bottle. When she didn’t respond, he lowered the water and took a deep breath. “But am I wrong for saying that? I don’t want to get you mixed into the media and all that crap. They’re going to say what they want regardless of how much information I give them.”

“I just wonder where that puts me. Second to your job? Not first in line for your heart? You’re quick to say ‘I love you’, but I’m still ranking below hockey.”

“Listen to me,” he set his massive hands on Cassidy’s shoulders, bending in to be more on her level. His eyes quickly darted over her face, “you’re not coming in second to hockey. I love you and the sport for entirely different reasons.”

“But you would choose it over me…”

Jamie stayed quiet, his eyes squinting as if he were thinking for an answer that would be right no matter what. If he chose the sport, she’d be furious that she really was second to hockey. And if he chose her, he was saying he’d give up on his dream for her. “Why can’t I have you and the sport? I don’t understand why this is such a big deal.”

“I just want to know where I rank,” her eyes were pleading as she looked up at him.

As guilty as she felt about bringing it up, she also felt it was necessary. If Cassidy was going to spend all this extra time with Jamie, she wanted it to be worth something.

Notes

This chapter is titled after "You Don't Know Her Like I Do" by Brantley Gilbert.

I decided to upload before the Kings game because right now I still have hope that they'll win. If I waited until after the game, I may be too upset to upload.

That team is ruining my life <3

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