Goodbye Girl

Emily watched as the fans stood around the ice. The Penguins were really good with interacting with them, and the fans seemed really fun, but no team or fans could top Dallas'.

Paul skated off the ice, stepping into the tunnel. He looked up at Emily. He let out a whistle, drawing her attention. She looked down and smiled.

"Wanna come skate with the boys?" He asked.

She laughed. "No way. I'd probably get mobbed after."

He shrugged. "Worth a try. The guys wanted you out there." He nodded towards them.

She looked over. Kunitz, Crosby, Niskanen, and Malkin waved. Paul stepped back on the ice, skating back to the guys. She watched them all interacted. It made her miss the goofs back in Dallas.

She checked her phone to see a few texts from Jamie. She was kind of upset that Tyler hadn't replied to her, but she understood that he was mad. She sighed, reading Jamie's messages.

The practice ended and Emily waited near the change room for Paul. Beau was the first out of the change room. He saw Emily texting on her phone but charged over anyway. He threw an arm around her.

"Oh, hi." She smiled, mildly uncomfortable.

Beau could see she felt out of place. "Hi, and listen, Em, if I can call you that?" He asked.

"Yes, of course." She giggled.

"Well, Em, we in the Penguins organization are all a very close family, and when one of our brothers bring in a very pretty girl, we accept her as one of our own." He rambled. "So stop looking so uncomfortable and realize that every guy in that change room is just as touchy, if not, more, than I am."

Emily looked up at Beau. He gave her a toothy grin as more of the team emerged from the change room. Paul came out with Matty and Malkin. Matt walked right over and pulled Emily into a hug.

"It's good to see you." He said as he held her tight.

"Always nice seeing my favourite defensemen in the league." She cooed.

They pulled apart and Paul glared at her. She smiled innocently at him.

"Remember that tomorrow when I only make breakfast for James and I." He stated.

She threw her hands up in defence as the guys around her 'oh'd. Malkin stepped in front of Emily. His giant frame blocked out everyone around her as he lifted her in a hug. She let out a breath as he squeezed her tight. Her feet hit the ground and he let go, grinning.

"G, you can't treat people like rag dolls just because you're a giant." Sid's voice rang as he came out.

"You know all about doll since you bitch." Geno chirped back in his broke English.

Emily admired Sidney, from afar. He was beautiful, really, and she had to restrain herself from thinking about what'd it'd be like to ride those trunks he calls thighs. She looked from his legs to his face. He was checking his phone.

His jaw line was to die for. She swore she almost started weeping about how beautiful he was then and there. She knew that wouldn't go down well, with her rooming with James currently.

The tip of Sidney's tongue poked out to moisten his lips. He looked up and his eyes surveyed his team. His eyes reached hers and a smile spread across his face.

"Emily, I didn't know you were here!" He called. She nodded. "Good to see you."

"Aren't ya gonna hug her? Make her feel welcomed?" Beau intervened.

"No, she already looks uncomfortable as hell. Why add to it?" Sid chuckled. "Plus, who would want a hug from any of us? With these mugs we call faces."

"I think you're all pretty attractive, if that helps boost your spirits." She smirked.

"She's only saying that because she knows she's sleeping with the best looking guy on the team." Matt rolled his eyes.

"If I'm not sleeping with anyone, do I get my pick?" She teased.

"Captain first." Crosby piped in.

Everyone laughed. Once more filed out of the room, a mob of them went for lunch. Emily decided her dark cloud had drifted and sent James a text asking what he wanted for lunch from this diner that the guys supposedly always went to. He told her 'the usual' which she got Geno to order since she didn't know what it was.

Sidney watched as Emily texted James. She was impatient for a reply, showing she was worried about him. She began going through all her apps. Sidney placed a hand on her thigh and gave it a squeeze. She looked at him. He gave her a reassuring smile. She let out a small laugh.

"We got in an argument before we left and I feel really shitty about it." She sighed. "I came to take care of him and I'm out with his team instead."

"You don't have to stay cooped up in his house. He doesn't either. He could've came and watched the practice today. Maybe went to do some physio." Sid argued.

"Yeah, but they way I left was so, mean." She muttered.

"What caused the fight?" He asked.

"I live in Dallas with Jamie Benn," She paused and Sid nodded. "And Tyler Seguin, and there's something in James's mind telling him that I'm sleeping with Tyler."

"Yeah, it's called jealousy." Sidney laughed. "But you aren't, right?"

"Oh god, no. Tyler's one of my closest friends." She scoffed. Sidney nodded again. "I guess he's got some, repressed feelings and undisclosed feelings and he keeps using Tyler as a way to get them out and get to me." Sidney sat silently. Emily could feel her chest tightening. "He tries to make it seem like I never cared about him or our relationship because I'm not dwelling on the break up like he is."

Sidney sat for a minute, processing everything Emily had just told him. He knew James, and he knew James's temper. He also knew how James felt and still feels about her. He took a deep breath.

"For guys like James, and myself, being in the NHL, we're always moving around and away from home, and some guys like to hold on to a little piece of home. You're James's piece of home, and he must feel like he's losing you to be how he is." Sid paused. "He might not be dealing with it the right way, but he must not know another way to deal with it. Just try to sit down and talk to him when all is calm."

Emily stared into Sidney's eyes. She let out the deep breath she was holding in before wrapping her arms around his neck. His arm hesitantly wrapped around her waist.

"Thank you." She whispered.

They broke apart and Sidney grabbed her phone. She watched as he found 'Contacts' and added himself. He sent a text from her phone to his before placing it back down in front of her.

"If you feel a fight coming on between the two of you, text me and I'll magically pop by." He said.

Emily laughed. "You don't have to go out of your way, Sid."

"I know how James feels about losing a piece of home. I never had one to bring with me, and I don't want him to suffer alone like I did. He needs you and I'm willing to help him keep you." Sidney explained.

"I don't want to be with him." She stated.

"You just need to be a part of him." His voice went stern.

After lunch, Paul drove Emily home. He dropped her off in front of James's house before pulling into his drive way. She walked into the house. The living room TV was on. She walked into the kitchen and saw a blanket on the couch.

"James?" She called.

He limped out of the kitchen to see her. She sighed, putting her stuff down and rushing over to him. She grabbed his arm. He laughed a bit.

"I'm okay. I was just getting a Gatorade." He told her.

"I still worry." She admitted, helping him back to the couch.

He laid down. Emily propped his knee up. She threw the blanket back over him. He yanked her down by wrapping an arm around her waist. She sat on the edge of the couch, beside his torso. She frowned down at him.

"I'm sorry about earlier." He said, staring her dead in the eye. "I'm just so scared that you're never going to want to talk to me again because I've got some fucked up insecurities, that I'm too much of a bitch to admit to." Emily smiled at that. "I care about you a lot and I don't know what I'd do without you."

She leaned forward. Her lips pressed to his forehead. She sat back up. James had a goofy grin on his face. She rolled her eyes at him, earning a chuckle.

"I brought your food. Do you want it?" She spoke.

"Nah, I just wanna cuddle you on the couch." He shrugged.

"James, we can't. Your knee." She argued.

"We can and we will or I'll throw a fit." He crossed his arms.

She rolled her eyes again, shaking her head. "Man child." She hissed.

She stood up. He looked up at her in confusion. She crossed her arms, staring at him. He just stared up at her.

"Well, are you gonna make some room so I can get in there?" She asked.

He carefully pushed his body back, watching his knee. Emily laid down beside him. She wrapped her arms around his waist as one of his wrapped around her shoulder. One of her legs draped over his healthy one. He kissed the top of her head, that was rested on his chest, as they lay there. His hand played with the ends of her hair.

She tilted her head up to see his face. "Have I ever told you that I like your hair when it's long?" She hummed.

"Like, this, long or?" He pointed to his head.

"Like, first summer in Dallas long." She smiled. "Unruly curls and a backwards cap everyday, woo." She fanned herself.

James chuckled. "I'll grow it out again for you, if you move to Pittsburgh." He bargained.

"You're cute." She giggled.

"A guy can dream." He sighed.

"James, can I be honest with you?" She took a deep breath.

"Of course, babe." He pressed his lips to the top of her head.

"Remember how I reacted when you first called me and told me about Pittsburgh?" She began.

"Yeah, you hung up on me." He let out a small laugh.

"Because I broke down." She stated. "I was so used to you being the rising star on Dallas and no one really cared for them. The minute I heard you were going to Pittsburgh, I lost it because I thought I was going to lose you."

James grip tightened around her. Her kissed the top of her head again. She had never shared any of these fears or worries with him before.

"When you came home, I had done a lot of thinking. At first, I was so angry with you. I was so angry that you were just going to go." She took a deep breath. "Then I thought. I thought about how selfish I was being. I thought about how this would benefit your career and show your talents to the world. I thought about how much you deserved the spotlight. I thought about how you were a twenty three year old in the NHL who hadn't gotten the opportunity to live because you'd been tied down to the same girl for so long. There were so many factors and I tried to figure out a way we could stay together, but everything pointed to us breaking up."

James stayed silent. Emily shifted a bit. He could tell she was about to cry. The tone in her voice and her constant swallowing were dead giveaways. He couldn't believe she was trying to hide it, as if he didn't know her and her quirks.

"I was kind of upset when you suggested I just lived off you." She chuckled. "But then again, I guess a lot of hockey broads do that. But I didn't want to be some broad. I never actually worried that you'd cheat on me. You're too much of a pussy." He squeezed her side. "I think I wasn't making sense to myself so I created a bunch of cons that didn't really exist. I was doubting our relationship, I guess, which was stupid since we had a pretty great relationship."

"The best of them." James commented.

"When you broke down, I swear to god, James, I felt like I had just been shot. I didn't expect that I had hurt you that much, to the point of tears. It took everything in me to not break down with you and let you drag me away to Pittsburgh." She sighed. "But I knew Dallas was my place. Dallas was my home. Dallas still is my home, not the people, just the place. You're my home. You were always a part of home but you became my home during those two years in Dallas. You'll always be my home and I don't want you to think anyone can replace you."

James would be lying if he said he didn't have to fight back tears. He wasn't an emotional guy but when it came to Emily, that's all he was. Everything about her made his body tingle. It'd been that way since he spotted her, with a Spongebob Squarepants blanket draped over her, and her hair a wild mess when she stepped out of her dad's car his first game, when he was seventeen. He'd always loved her.

"I didn't care about the spotlight or having any eyes on me, as long as your eyes were looking into mine every morning." He told her.

Emily felt her eyes watering. She nuzzled her face into his chest. Her arms tightened around his waist. James's free arm wrapped around her. She was definitely crying.

"When I broke down, it was because I couldn't believe what you were saying. It was almost like you were decreasing your importance to me. You were and still are the most important thing to me. I wish you would have broke down so I could've showed you how much you meant to me." He stopped. "I guess I've been such a dick lately because of the whole home factor. I don't have many parts of home with me and you were the closest to home I had. You must've been my home too because it fucking hurt when you ended it."

Emily took a shake breath and James kissed the top of her head. She knew this conversation was bound to come at some point. She just didn't know how terribly she'd take it.

"Em, I was never tied down. I didn't care about experiencing what all the other guys my age did. I cared about you. I wanted to be with you. I still want to be with you. You're all I know and all I want to know asides from hockey. When I'm with you, when I'm even just talking to you, I feel safe. Funny to say that five foot six girl is the reason a six foot two hockey player feels safe, but it is." That earned James a small laugh from her. "I still love you, Emily, and I don't think I'll ever be able to deal with you living with that kid. But I should learn to trust you when you say you aren't sleeping with him."

"I'm not and I don't want to." She mumbled before looking up at him. "You're the only guy I've ever been with and I'm fine with keeping it that way."

"Bragging rights?" He teased.

"No, the satisfaction of knowing the last guy I was with was someone I love." She explained.

"I'm going to kiss you." He said.

Emily stared into his eyes. She could see the emotion in his. She sniffed.

"Please."

Notes