Crossing the Line

Jackie was ignoring her phone and trying not to look at the clock. “Jackie,” Logan prompted softly trying to see what her best friend was thinking. “I can’t do it. I can’t tell him,” Jackie whispered leaning back into the pillows on Logan’s bed. “I know you can because I have never met someone with more support. If he turns out to be a dick then I’ll tell your baby that we’re lesbians and she has two mummies. Even though that’s incest kind of,” Logan mused and Jackie shook her head. “Also, when Tuukka gets here you have to go to your room because we’re going to analyze the games,” Logan said. Jackie took a deep breath and closed her eyes a few rogue tears slipping down her cheeks. “Thank God neither of us has an early shift tomorrow,” Logan sighed scooting closer to Jackie and putting her head on her shoulder. “He’s going to be here any minute Logan,” Jackie whispered feeling more tears well in her eyes. “Hey, look at me,” Logan said sitting up and turning to face Jackie. “I already love your baby more than I love you. I have no doubt he’ll love your baby too but if for some reason he doesn’t you’re not alone. Best friends are sisters you get to pick and Donna just happened to pick me too so you’re stuck with me for life. Don’t you ever forget that,” Logan said pulling Jackie in for a hug.

Dougie unlocked the door with the key Jackie had given him trying to be as quiet as possible. He was surprised to find the lights on; he thought the girls would’ve been asleep by now. It made sense they weren’t considering it was only eleven and Tuukka had stopped to pick up a snack for him and Logan. Dougie made his way to Jackie’s room hoping he wouldn’t wake anyone up. He noticed the door was closed at the same time he heard voices coming from Logan’s room. Walking over Dougie knocked on the open door and both girls looked at him. He could see Jackie had been crying and began to worry but he didn’t miss the conflicting looks for relief and fear on her face when she saw him. “Tuukka stopped to get pastries to analyze with,” Dougie said to Logan while Jackie got out of bed and shuffled over to him. “I missed you,” she whispered wrapping her arms around him and fighting back tears. “I missed you too. Want a lift?” Dougie smiled down at his girlfriend, picking her up bridal style when she nodded her head.

“What’s up buttercup? You look really sad,” Dougie asked looking down at her when they got settled in bed. Jackie started to twist her rings even though she wasn’t wearing any and just doing the motion. Dougie took her hands in his to stop the nervous movement and noticed the tears welling in her eyes. “I don’t want you to hate me,” she said finally blinking tears away to the best of her ability. “I took a pregnancy test yesterday. Actually I took five,” Jackie continued. “And they were all positive,” she said bursting into tears. Dougie was shocked for a moment he hadn’t been expecting that. Jackie pulled her knees to her chest sobbing hysterically. “I don’t hate you,” Dougie whispered wrapping his arms around her shaking body and pulling her onto his lap. “I don’t hate you. I couldn’t hate you. Either of you,” he said with a small smile on his face. Jackie threw her arms around his neck and continued to sob into his shoulder, tears of relief. “I can’t stop crying,” she choked out trying to calm herself down and failing miserably. “That’s okay, I may as well get used to that now,” Dougie joked pulling her even tighter and kissing the top of her head. Jackie let out a strangled laugh and Dougie smiled. “There we go, see look at that we’re already good at mood swings,” he said and they both started laugh, and couldn’t stop.

Tuukka let himself into the condo not wanting to wake Jackie up. He was surprised to hear hysterical laughter coming from Jackie’s room when he thought she and Dougie would be sleeping already. “What’s going on in there?” he asked Logan placing a white box on the night table and going to get changed. “She’s pregnant and he isn’t going to leave her,” Logan said with a grin on her face and happy tears on her cheeks. “Wait what?” Tuukka asked turning around in the middle of pulling his undershirt off. “Yeah they did the deed after the Sens game and forgot a condom but I don’t want to think about Jackie having sex,” Logan said begging him to change the topic. “I brought snacks,” Tuukka said taking his dress pants off and putting them on the hanger Logan had left out. “You’re such a kiss up. You just want to know what I called you all during the games,” she teased shifting Tazer so that he wouldn’t be between her and Tuukka. “Guilty as charged. Are you going to tell me what you thought?” he asked climbing into bed and grabbing the pastry box. “You can’t even eat this stuff,” Logan said looking at the éclairs and cookies inside. “If you don’t tell Whitesides I promise not to cheat over Christmas,” Tuukka said knowing she would rat him out. Logan consented and took a éclair. “I missed you, it’s weird sleeping alone when I’m so used to you,” Logan said with a mouth full of food. Tuukka laughed, “I missed that attractive face you just made.” Logan flipped him off and muttered to herself. “Gone for a fucking week and loses games and suddenly thinks he can make fun of me,” she said to Tazer who was eying the box wanting a treat too. “Sorry Tazer I forgot to get you something,” Tuukka apologized petting the dog. “I called you a motherfucking Finnish asshole more times than I’m willing to admit,” Logan said when she had finished her first éclair. Tuukka started laughing; he could picture Logan and Jackie watching the game screaming at the TV. “Jackie doesn’t insult you lot but she doesn’t stop me when I insult you so it works out nicely,” she elaborated making him laugh harder. “Stop laughing or I’ll tattle,” she threatened pointing to the cookie he was shoving in his mouth. “Shut up you love this,” Tuukka said around the cookie. Logan laughed and rested her head on his chest. “Yeah sure I do,” she said rolling her eyes and feeling the fatigue spreading through her body. “Can we analyze tomorrow?” she asked wanting nothing more than a good night’s sleep the way she slept best: curled up with Tuukka.

Logan was excited to go home and fall into bed; she had had a long day at the hospital. She was surprised to come home and find the condo erupting in yells. “Are you kidding me?” Jackie asked sounding exasperated. “You want to tell my brother Thursday? Dougie it’s Tuesday! I’ve known about the baby since Saturday and you’ve known since Sunday. We should wait at least another week,” Jackie rationalized. “So you don’t want to tell your brother?” Dougie asked accusingly. “Are you listening to yourself? You make it sound like I don’t want anyone to know! I just want to wait to make sure everything is okay. Do you want my brother to target you during the game? Because if we tell him that’s what will happen!” Jackie shouted trying to make Dougie understand what she was saying. “Jackie it sounds like you don’t want to tell anyone!” Dougie argued raising his voice. “You’re right Dougie! I don’t want to tell a single living soul that I’m pregnant with my boyfriend’s baby!” Jackie fired back, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “I don’t want to tell anyone just in case anything happens. What if I have a miscarriage huh? Want to tell everyone I lost the baby? Or better yet what if your family hates me or my family tries to kill you? So yeah excuse me for thinking it through!” Jackie screamed. Logan knew she shouldn’t have been standing just inside the door so she decided to leave a note and take Tazer with her over to Tuukka’s, there was no way she could stay here. “Jackie stop spitting absurdities! If you don’t want to tell anyone fine! We won’t tell anyone!” Dougie shouted while Logan wrote a quick note and grabbed Tazer’s leash. She knew it was a long walk to his place but it was worth it. Leaving as quietly as possible Logan started heading for Tuukka’s and made sure to text him she was coming over. Tuukka called her when she was about halfway there asking what was wrong. “They’re fighting. Loudly. So Tazer and I are staying with you tonight. If you have a girl there or something I’ll sleep on the couch and pretend I’m not there,” Logan said not wanting to be an inconvenience to him. “I’ll put the kettle on,” Tuukka said before hanging up. Logan smiled and urged Tazer to walk a little faster.

Tuukka was downstairs waiting for Logan, ready to let her in when she got there. “You should be in bed, you have an early skate,” Logan said trying to look stern when she saw him standing in the cold looking dapper despite the late hour and his sweatpants. “You should be in bed too. You have to work tomorrow,” he countered taking the leash from her and offering her a piggyback up to his condo. Logan smiled into his shoulder and took a deep breath trying to calm her swirling emotions. “Care to tell me what’s up?” he asked setting her down in his front hall and taking Tazer’s collar off. Logan sniffled; taking her coat off she tried not to look at him. “Logan,” Tuukka prompted gently holding his arms open in case she needed a hug. She looked at him with sad eyes before accepting his embrace and dissolving into tears. “What if they fight and don’t make up, and then he wants nothing to do with the baby and then the first Kane grandchild doesn’t have a daddy?” Logan sobbed thinking of her own parentless childhood. Tuukka held her while she cried and waited for her to calm down before talking. “Well then that baby is going to have the most loving Auntie Logan in the whole wide world. That baby won’t go a day without being told they’re loved and cherished and important. The only thing you and that little baby will have in common will be the love in your lives. You’ll have each other, Cam, Jackie, Jess, Erica, Johnny, Pat, Mama, Papa Kaner, and everyone else who loves both of you. They will never have the worries like you did. Don’t you ever worry about her facing a single struggle you did because even if they don’t have a daddy they will be so loved,” Tuukka said rubbing her back while she continued to sniffle into he shoulder. “It’s a girl. I decided she’s having a baby girl,” Logan said after she had calmed down enough. “I can’t wait to meet her,” Tuukka murmured into Logan’s hair placing a kiss on the top of her head. “Let’s go to bed. We can chat more once we’re settled in,” Tuukka said scooping Logan up into his arms and walking towards his room. Logan wiped the tears off her face and changed as quickly as she could. “I’m going to love her more than I love Jackie,” Logan said climbing into bed and resting her head on Tuukka’s chest. She felt laughter reverberating through his body as he pulled her tighter to him and kissed her head. “I have no doubt you will Logs,” he assured her smoothing back her wild curls.

Notes