"Oh god Ryan," I half moaned quietly, as he moved quickly in and out of me.

He had already collapsed down onto his forearms that were on each side of my head. Sweat was covering our bodies, as his slick chest moved against mine. I suppose it was supposed to add more friction to our bodies. But all it was doing recently was annoying the heck out of me. I let out small moans and groans here and there, at the appropriate places. Ryan's moves were getting sloppier by the second and his breathing and pants were coming faster. I could tell he was about to come at any second.

"Shit baby," he moaned into my neck, as he reached his release.

He collapsed his full body weight on top of me after his release and kissed the side of my neck once again. I pushed on his shoulders slightly too at least get some of his body weight off of myself. I felt as if I were suffocating beneath him. He leaned up a little and pressed a light kiss against my lips, than pulled out of me and rolled over. Just as the sound of little feet coming down the hallway sounded outside of the bedroom.

"Morning momma," came a little voice, opening the door.

"Morning baby," I replied, smiling at my daughter and pulling the sheets up at the same time.

Ryan groaned and shook his head as Avalon climbed up in the bed. He grabbed his shorts off the ground and slipped them on as he sat up. Ruffling the top of Avalon's bed head as he looked over his shoulder at me.

"Morning kiddo. I'm going to go hop in the shower," he said, looking at me.

"Morning Ryan," she giggled.

"Ok," I replied to him.

I watched as he got up and stretched his back muscles and than walked into our bathroom. My attention was still on the doorway, when I heard another small giggle. I looked down at my giggling daughter and smiled.

"What's so funny, huh huh huh?" I asked, going to tickle her sides.

"Stop...... S-stop...... Stop mommy," she laughed, trying to squirm away from me.

"Well what's so funny than?" I asked again.

"You were staring at Ryan mommy," she answered, like it was the most logical answer.

"Oh was I? Well that's what mommies do," I answered her.

"Why?" she asked.

"Well because........ Ummmmmmm just because," I said dumbly, not knowing how to answer that question exactly.

I knew that wasn't the right answer to give her, but I wasn't quit ready to have the 'birds and bees' talk with my inquisitive five year old daughter just yet.

"Because you love him?" she asked.

"That's right baby. Because I love him," I answered her, running a hand through her sandy blonde hair.

"Hey how about you go and brush your teeth, and get dressed in the clothes I got out for you. We have a long trip today," I said, when I heard the shower turn off.

"Ok mommy," she answered, hopping off the bed and heading towards the door.

"Ava, brush your teeth good. No cheating, ok?" I said.

"Yes momma," she replied, walking out the door.

Ryan walked back into the room buttoning up his jeans, as she walked out. I layed there on the bed as he walked over and climbed onto the bed, on his knees. Crawling over to me he pecked me on the lips.

"Showers free for you," he said quietly.

"Ok thanks," I said, with a nod.

With another quick peck he got off the bed and went to his dresser and pulled out a shirt. I got out of bed and pulled the sheet around my body and started towards the bathroom.

"Hey Ry," I said, looking over my shoulder.

"Yeah,"

"Can you please get Ava some breakfast for me?"

"Sure babe. Also we need to talk later," he said.

"About what?" I asked, turning to look at him.

"We just need to talk later. Before you leave," he replied, than walked out of the room.

'Ok that was odd' I thought. Shaking my head walking into the bathroom. Usually Ryan is straight forward with me. But these last few days he seemed to be off. I was starting to think it had to do with the fact I was about to leave. I turned on the shower and held my hand under the spray as it warmed up. When it got to the right temperature I dropped the sheet around my body and stepped in and least the spray of water hit my muscles. Everything recently between Ryan and I seemed tense the past couple of days. Or actually if I was being honest with myself the past couple of weeks. But once again I just put it down to the fact he got traded and we were getting ready to move once again.

I loved Ryan, I really did. He was there for me, when it seemed no one else was. He stepped up to the plate when I had been pregnant with Avalon. Even though Ryan and I both knew she wasn't his, other people didn't. But he stepped up because I had no clue who Avalon's father was, I mean I probably did. But I just couldn't remember who it was. Sometimes I had the feeling Ryan knew who her dad was, but that was impossible though. I mean I guess she looked a mixture between her father (whoever he was) and I. Although her hair was more of a sandy blonde, whereas mine was more strawberry blonde. She also got bright blue eyes from whoever her father was.

I pressed my fingers to my lips and realized that somewhere along the way mine and Ryan's relationship had lost its spark. I didn't get that tingly feeling anymore when we kissed or touched. Maybe we had just become more comfortable with each other. But the worst of it was when we were with each other intimately, I had to fake it. I mean recently I hadn't been able to get my release, it's been all about him getting his. I can't remember the last time I had reached that point sexually.

Don't get me wrong I loved Ryan, I really truly did. Without him being there for me I may have never finished school. But recently I've started wondering if there was something else out there for me. I think at twenty five, I was just looking for some stability in mine and Avalon's life's. Especially since she started school this year. The past couple of years just as we would get settled down and comfortable in a new city, Ryan would get traded. He had been traded to several different NHL teams and minor league teams. I knew it would be like this and I was up to the challenge. But now Ryan had just been traded to New Jersey from sunny Florida.

Avalon and I are flying up there today to find a place to live and to find a school for Ava right away. I'm just hoping this time things are a little more permanent. The water started turning cold and I had realized I had been off in la-la land for far too long. I quickly finished up my shower and got out. I got dressed in a comfy pair of jeans and shirt, than pulled on one of Ryan's hoodies. I slipped on a pair of tennis shoes and headed downstairs, where I could hear Ryan and Avalon talking in the kitchen. I walked in and stood next to him at the kitchen island and grabbed a piece of bacon from the plate.

"So can we Ryan? Will you take me?" Avalon asked, obviously from a conversation they wee having.

"We sure can kiddo and I would love to take you. Maybe we can convince mommy to go too," he answered and looked at me.

"Uh-oh what are you trying to get me to agree to?" I laughed.

"It's a secret. You can't find out until we get up there," he said smiling down at me.

"Ryan are you coming with us?" Avalon asked.

"No sweetheart I'm not coming with you," he said.

"Oh," she answered, sadly.

"But I'll be up there in a few days, ok?" he asked.

"Ok so your still going to live with us?" Avalon asked, her mood picking up again.

"Yup, of course if that's ok with you," he said.

"Yay," Avalon said excitedly.

"Avalon finish up your breakfast. We have to leave soon," I said, as she was practically bouncing in her seat.

"So what did you want to talk about?" I asked, turning my attention to Ryan and looking up at him.

"What time does your plane leave?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Ryan,"

"I don't want you to miss your plane,"

"Ry,"

"Is someone meeting you at the airport? Or are you catching a cab? Do you know where to go once you get there?" he asked, avoiding the subject all together.

"Ryan," I huffed, stomping my foot slightly.

I didn't understand why now he was avoiding the subject all together. Earlier he obviously he had something he wanted to talk about.

"Look we don't have time right now. I don't want you and Ava to miss your flight. I promise we will talk about it later," he sighed.

"O-Kay if your sure," I replied, scrunching my eyebrows together.

"I'm sure," he replied, smiling.

After Avalon finished eating and I cleaned up after her and put the dishes in the dishwasher. We gathered up mine and Avalon's belongings and piled into Ryan's truck. He was driving us to the airport so I didn't have to leave my vehicle in the parking lot. Everything was pretty much packed at the house, there were a few things left that I was sure Ryan could handle packing.the moving truck was going to be picking everything up in a few days and he was going to have them bring my vehicle. So I would be without it for a few days, but I think I could mange.

The drive to the airport was silent and slightly awkward. Ryan seemed to be gripping the wheel tightly for some reason. I let it go though, I didn't want to get into it with him with Avalon around and with us leaving. He pulled up to departures and got out, pulling our bags from the back.

'Ok obviously he's not going to stay and say goodbye. What's up with that?' I thought.

Sighing and shaking my head I got out of the truck and opened the back door. I grabbed Avalon and rested her on my hip, as she leaned her head on my shoulder. I grabbed the booster seat with my free hand and shut the truck door. After Ryan had set our luggage by the quick check-in, he came over to stand by us. He stood there stroking Ava's hair saying nothing.

"You not coming in with us?" I asked quietly.

"I think it would be better if I didn't," he sighed, looking down at Ava.

"Look you better get in there and checked in, alright" he said, finally looking up at me.

"Ryan is everything ok?" I asked, shifting Ava to my other side.

"Yeah everything is fine. Look our stuff will be up there in a few days. And I'll be up there before you know it. You won't even have time to miss me. But you better get going. I love you," he said, cupping my cheek with his hand.

I leaned my head into the warmth of his hand. He looked at me for a few seconds, looking into his eyes I saw so many emotions running through his eyes. But just like that he leaned down and kissed me lightly on the mouth. Than kissed the side of Ava's head, before saying goodbye and hopping back in his truck. I stood there for a minute waving bye. Than walked up to the check-in desk for mine and Ava's flight.