A New Leaf

Although I was still somewhat angry with Tyler for potentially getting me pregnant, I decided that I still needed to look somewhat decent. I managed to shower and apply some makeup to make it look like I hadnt been crying for an hour straight. I opened my drawer full of comfortable clothes and cringed when I saw a small "42" on the shoulder of a sweater. I pushed pass it and threw on a pair of Roots jogging pants and my University hoodie, before grabbing my keys off the key hook beside my door.

I locked the door, shaking just thinking about how I was going to tell Tyler the news. It was times like these that I really felt vulnerable, and wished for my mother to give me some advice, but obviously she couldn't do that. So it was just me, like it had been for about two years now.

I drove to his house slowly, trying to prolong the encounter as much as possible. I was nervous about the whole thing. A couple weeks ago I was comfortable with Tyler. But not I felt awkward. I walked out on him that morning, and now I'm coming back to tell him that I'm pregnant. What a catch, Mila!

I hadn't even thought of where the conversation might go, until I was sitting in the parking lot outside of Tyler's apartment, staling for time. How would he react? Would he want to be part of our kids life? He's an up-and-coming NHL player. This would obviously dampen his career. I considered driving away and never saying anything to him again, but like Erin said before, he deserved to know.

I willed myself into the building, being greeted by the woman at the reception desk, and entered the elevator. As the floors got higher I counted down to what I believed would be ultimately havoc. 47...48....49... DING. Here we go.

Cautiously I stepped out from the elevator doors and knocked on Tyler's door. My palms were sweating and I swear I was going to pass out. Getting impatient due to the fact that Tyler wasn't answering I began to turn around when the door swung open to reveal Phil Kessel, who was on his way out. Thank god, the less people who had to know about what's going on the better.

"EH, BOZIE YOUR GIRLS HERE!" He yelled behind himself into the apartment. "Jesus CHRIST. Good thing you're here, I'm getting sick of ol' Bozak whinin' about you non-stop." Phil laughed as he walked out the door.

I was then greeted by Tyler, who invited me in. He was wearing a similar outfit to me, except instead of a UofT hoodie he had a Denver Pioneers hockey one on. Must have been where he went to university before they signed him.

I sat down on the edge of one of the leather couches in the living room, reluctantly remembering the first date night we had, watching a movie cuddled up together. I let out a long sigh and just prayed that I could get this over with. The outcome I wasn't too sure what I wanted, but I know I wanted something to guide me.

"Can I get you anything?" Tyler asked from behind the leather couch where I was sitting, making me jump out of my trance.

"Um, I'm good for now." I said pulling my knees up to my chin.

"Alrighty just let me know." Tyler smiled, making his way to the La-Z boy beside the love seat I was on. "So what was it you wanted to talk about?"

Where do I start? I cheated on my fiancé with you two years ago? Then I swore off guys and somehow found you again! Funny story! You're a dad!

"Uhhhh." I tried to get my thoughts together, "Okay so you remember that night two weeks ago?"

"Of course." Tyler half smiled. "What happened, Mila? I've been going crazy without you."

"Okay. So let's start here. I'm going to be completely honest." I explained to Tyler my entire story from back to front, and ended up at the morning after. "So basically I left in a hurry because I was scared Tyler."

"I understand." He said, reaching over to hold my hand. "So is that it? Can we get back together or whatever needs to happen?"

"I'm not completely done." I spoke slowly.

"What do you mean?" His forehead wrinkled as he looked at me, confused.

You can run away right now and never come back. He doesn't have to know. You said enough for now. Maybe later you can tell him you're pregnant. Time is of essence. No Mila, now. Get it together and tell him.

"Okay you can't freak out." I said squeezing his hand. "I- I think I'm pregnant. And it's yours."

"What?" He looked at me, his eyes going wild.

"Tyler?" I went back to my curled up position with my arms wrapped around my legs and stared at his shocked face.

"Are you sure it's mine?" He asked and I nodded. "What about my career? I'm too young to raise a child!" As much as I was expecting that response, I totally wasn't.

"Your career? What about mine?" My voice began to raise, and become shaky with tears threatening to pour out at any second.

"Mila you don't understand! I've wanted this my whole life. To be in the NHL and I just CANT have a kid." He shook his head, standing up and beginning to pace around the room.

"How do you think I feel? I wanted to be a doctor and all that's going to go on the back burner! I wanted success too!" I was now yelling.

"This is ridiculous. This isn't real. No way. I'm not ready for this. How do you even know for sure?" He too was now beginning to raise his voice.

"I took a bunch of tests. All positive." I squeaked.

"How could you even let this happen?" He yelled.

"Me? Do you even know how getting pregnant works?" I yelled at him.

This caused Tyler to storm off, down a hall where I heard a door slam. I was left in his living room to my own thoughts. Maybe this was my fault. I should have been responsible enough to remember to fucking be using protection, after all it would be the one carrying this child. I didn't want Tyler to come back out and see me in tears, so I got up and left, storming out to my car and driving quickly back to the dorms.

It was like deja vu. I went home and spent my day in bed, crying, trying to erase the memory of Tyler. If he wasn't ready to be a dad, then so be it. I didn't need him. I've managed to get through life with no parents. I'm sure one parent is going to be plenty for this baby.

Notes