"Finally."

Ali felt James' mouth on her neck and she smiled, caught between the amazing sensations she felt and the laughter that was about to burst forth.

"I love you, I love you, I love you....."

She giggled, reaching back to cup James' face just as he trailed kisses along her cheek. "I think I got the message the first one hundred times."

"Doesn't matter, it feels too good not to repeat." He looked at her with his signature smirk. "Unless you want me to stop?"

Ali swiftly rolled over in order to face him, their naked bodies pressed close to one another. She cupped his face and kissed him. "Never. Don't ever stop." She kissed him again, wondering what their count was for that whole night.

"Good. I don't plan on it." James pressed his forehead against Ali's, his gaze locked on to hers. "I really do mean it. All of it."

There wasn't an ounce of trepidation in his voice; the confidence Ali loved in James was fully present, not a single hint of doubt anywhere in his eyes or in the tiny smile he was giving her. She caressed his cheek, then his chin, her eyes lowering to his full mouth. "I know. I know you do, James. And if this doesn't sound corny enough, I actually feel it."

He felt his heartbeat double. "Really?"

The grin he had made Ali wonder if he was about to make fun of her. "Yes. I do."

"Well that makes two of us, then."

Cocking her head to the side, Ali searched his gaze one more time for that jokester-twinkle he often had when he was being playful, but it still wasn't there. Is it possible for this to be as real as it actually is?

In that moment, she thought of something that actually would connect them more than they already were.

Rolling away from James, she scooted out from under the covers and trotted over to her nightstand. There was a brief shuffling of noise while she had her back to him, fiddling with something in her hands.

Watching from the bed, James saw the light rekindle in Ali's eyes as she turned and looked at him. "Whatchya doing?" he asked, curiosity in his voice.

With her hands placed behind her back, Ali felt both thrill and nervousness course through her. She walked over slowly, almost unable to contain her excitement. "I have something for you."

With a raise of an eyebrow, James gave her a smirk. "Oh?" He took in her nakedness, wondering what more she could give him that was better than this.

Ali slid into bed and, with her eyes locked on James, brought one hand around so that it was held between them. In her fingers was a single key, and on her face was her brilliant smile.

Glancing between her and the key, James felt stunned. "Ali..."

"I think it's long overdue" she said, watching as the look of shock on his face turned to one of humbled affection. "Take it, 'cause it's all yours, babe."

James clasped his hand over Ali's, tightening his fist around hers as they both held the key. "This means a lot to me."

"I know." She smiled. "Me too."

Pulling her gently forward, James kissed her forehead. He held the key in his hand as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. "I feel like I've been waiting for this for a long time."

Against his chest, Ali smiled. "My key?"

He chuckled. "Our relationship. Something this comfortable, you know?"

"I know exactly what you mean" she said, snuggling closer.

Stroking her hair, James felt Ali's smile against his skin. He kissed the top of her head, feeling the closeness of their night together coming to an end as his tiredness finally took hold of him. "Thank you...for everything."

Ali sighed happily, sleep imminent. "Night, James."

Still holding her, James smiled. "Night, Ali."

* * *

For all that was good in James' life at that time, his practice the next morning didn't go well. Even after the nap he took before his game, he still woke up with a pounding headache. He hydrated as best he could, both at practice and prior to his game, but he could tell - and hopefully more than anyone else - that he wasn't running at 100% for that night's game.

Still, for as heavy as his body felt, his emotions made him feel as light as a feather. Every time he realized what had happened the night before with Ali, he shook his head in sheer amazement.

I told her I loved her.

I said it.

He'd meant it, too. It wasn't the liquor talking, it wasn't the buzz he felt singing karaoke or the high he had from just being with Ali. He truly did love her. Things were just different with her, and he knew there was something to it.

So I said it, he thought. And she said it back.

He smiled into his bathroom mirror as he straightened his lavender colored tie about his neck. He looped the fabric around, not really paying attention to the movements as his mind remained on the ridiculous feeling swirling inside.

Is this what love feels like?

Shit, I wish I wouldn't have waited so long to feel it.

With a tug, he finished the knot and reached for his blazer. With a swift shrug onto his shoulders, he stood looking as normal as any other time he readied for a game: same tall guy he always saw, same face full of stubble, same perfectly styled hair.

Except he didn't feel the same at all.

Everything's changed now, I guess, he thought happily. He dabbed some cologne onto his hands and around himself, still smiling into the mirror. I suppose this solidifies things even more.

His phone beeped on the counter, letting him know that Paulie was in the driveway waiting for him. He quickly shot his teammate a text to give him two minutes, then rushed downstairs to grab his stuff. Before he left, he sent Ali a text:

J: Still thinking about u. Still love u. Sick of me sayin it yet? ;)

Shoving the phone back into his coat pocket, James slung his bag over his shoulder and grabbed his keys off the counter. On the key ring was one more key that hadn't been there just a day before. James thought of this with a smile as he headed out to join Paul.

*

Ali got James' text at work, and it made her feel twice as amazing as she already felt. She really wished she wasn't scheduled to work until 10 that night, but such was her situation, and she would have to watch James and his teammates play on one of the tv monitors that hung in the lobby of the hotel. She watched when she could, pissed that she didn't have this one night off to go and support him, especially now that they'd said the big words.

The big words.

It made Ali smile every time she relived it....and relive it she did. After spending the night with James, she spent the following morning in a fuzzy euphoric haze, which...after she'd napped the events of their night together off...she proceeded to call those of her friends who knew about her and James, beginning first with Brittany. She told her best friend what happened, how it happened, and listened as Brittany squealed with delight for her. The butterflies and disbelief that her and James had said the big words caused her euphoria to swell even further, keeping her in an endless state of bliss.

It occurred to Ali that she should finally break down and tell her parents about her and James' relationship. It made her groan just thinking about it, given the "talk" she knew would be coming from both her mother and father about dating someone like James. Ali told herself all along that this relationship wasn't real; it was fake and she was living a dream...but after last night, and the way her and James had said the big words without any recourse or regret, she figured she'd better tell her parents soon.

For better or worse, this decision was put to the side for the time being.

Later that night, as Ali kept her eyes on the Pens game from her spot across the lobby of the Hyatt, she watched James struggle to keep up with his linemates. His shots were off, his sprints down the ice seemed sluggish, and whenever the camera panned closer to him, Ali could actually see the dark circles around his tired eyes. It made her feel guilty, hoping against hope it wouldn't affect his performance in the long run.

Between distractions from those coming and going within the hotel, any time Ali let her eyes drift towards the tv screens, she felt her sympathy for James grow. Eventually, by the middle of the third quarter, the amount of time that James spent on the ice had decreased enough that she was lucky if she caught him skating at all.

Worrying that it was over something like an injury, she texted him, even though she knew he wouldn't get it until later in the night: A: Watching you right now. Everything okay? You're not injured, are you? Text me. Love you.

Even tapping out the text gave her a whirlwind of happiness, despite the reason she was texting him in the first place. For the rest of her time at work, she remained hopeful that James was okay, and as the Pens took home the win over the Capitals, she breathed a sigh of relief that it was over. On her drive home, she listened to one of the local radio stations as they recapped the game, wincing every time they made a comment on how James played.

Ali's grip on the steering wheel tightened as guilt washed over her.

If we hadn't had so much fun last night.
If we hadn't told one another we loved each other.
If we hadn't stayed up most of the night relishing in it...

So many ifs, she thought with exhaustion. And honestly, I wouldn't change it, even if I could.

As she undressed from her work attire and climbed into bed, she hoped James was okay and assumed the best. It wasn't long before sleep took her and her worries were put to rest as well.

*

Across town, James sat despondent and tired while the rest of his teammates bustled about the locker room. The usual post-game media flurry continued; voices filled the room with questions, good-natured joking, and the occasional raucous round of laughter. James heard it, but didn't participate. Though they had won the game, he contributed nothing positive to that win. As a result, he was entirely too pissed at himself and far too tired to join in all the bustle about him. The light-hearted attitude he had prior to the game was all but zapped, and any thoughts of Ali had gone by the wayside as thoughts of his game took over.

Quietly, he gathered the various pieces of his uniform for the equipment crew, handing off his sweaty jersey, damp body pads, and all of his base layers, while also handing the equipment manager his skates. Tomorrow they'd be traveling to St. Louis for another game, and his various items still had to be washed, dried, and loaded onto a plane by morning. His sticks would be re-taped, his skates would be resharpened, and his away jersey would be waiting for him in Missouri.

But tomorrow seemed a world away for James. He couldn't think about tomorrow's game, because he couldn't get over how horribly he played tonight.

One night at a time, Neal. Tackle tomorrow when it comes. You've got other worries to deal with first.

Scanning the room, James eyed where Coach Bylsma was, wondering when he'd single him out and ask what the problem was. Would Dan do the talking, or would they all sit him down? Would they brush it off? Everyone was allowed a night off, but James knew he needed to be more consistent. He needed the consistency that was required by those higher than him in the League running the show.

Not only that, but the playoffs were coming.

James rubbed his forehead with the butt of his hand. Get it together, man.

This wasn't just about his night to night performance; the first round of the playoffs were a week away. Him and the team would wrap up their regular season at the end of this week. One game in St. Louis, one game in New York...and that was it.

And if you aren't serious by now - you better get serious by then.

He looked at the ground and shook his head, half smiling at the way his thoughts seemed to be spiraling. He wondered if the talking-to he was giving himself mentally was worse than whatever talk he'd have with Bylsma, if it came to that.

Lucky for James, it didn't. Without even a single glance his way, Bylsma left James alone that night, never mentioning any part of his performance. Feeling like a kid who hadn't got caught but still worried the other shoe would fall later, James left the locker room without nary a chirp. He wanted out of there, he needed room to breathe, and he didn't want to linger if he didn't have to.

With a slam of his car door, James let his head fall back against the headrest. His eyes wandered upwards, looking at the reflection staring back at him in the rear view mirror: same tall guy he always saw, same face full of stubble, same perfectly styled hair. This time though, his cheeks were flushed red, and the pale blue bags under his eyes made him look more tired than he felt.

He sighed.

As he went to connect his seat belt, he slipped his phone out of his pants pocket and hit the home button. One single text message sat waiting for him, and it brought the first smile of the evening to his worn face. As he read Ali's worried question, James felt his sore muscles relax a little and his bruised ego soften slightly.

She thinks I got injured.

James chuckled.

If only that was the reason, babe.

He typed out a response that he knew sounded as tired as he felt, but made sure to end it the way he wanted, ensuring a smile from her despite how he felt: Hey...no injury, just shit performance. Better luck tomorrow night I guess. Love u for askin. Call tmrw.

Tossing the phone in the passenger seat, James put his Mercedes in reverse and drove home. On the way, he realized something important. Above all else, if this were to be the year he got to hold the Stanley Cup, he needed to play like he wanted it. Until now, he had been doing well enough to stand out, but it wasn't going to be enough.

The playoffs were in a week, and James needed to focus.

*

"So you can't come over just for a little?"

James lay on his mattress, weary in mind and body. "I wish I could, but I just don't think the timing is right tonight."

"I get sleeping here might be a bit much if you have to leave in the morning...but how about before you drive to the airport?" Ali smiled against her phone. "I can give Paulie a break and make you breakfast instead."

Rolling onto his side, James chuckled softly. "That's sweet of you babe."

"But it's still a no?" She knew the answer anyway, and listened as James wound his way through his apology for not being able to make it over. And while Ali understood, it still disappointed her. She had so much pent-up excitement lingering from their special night together that she was dying to let it spill. She wanted James to be her outlet.

"So we'll talk tomorrow...k, babe?"

Ali could hear the tiredness in James' voice. "Sounds good. Sleep well."

"Mmm hmm."

"Goodnig--"

The call ended before she was able to get it all out. Sullenly, Ali set her phone on her nightstand and sighed. She wished there was more she could do, but she was powerless if James wanted some time to himself before his new road game. She granted him that space nonetheless, but her thoughts wondered at his shift in attitude all the same. She tried to not let it bother her much, but the seed was already planted in her mind.

* * *

During the course of that week, the couple met up only once. James was on the road to finish the regular season, but when he returned to Pittsburgh following their last game...Ali's condo was the first place he went. He stayed in her warm embrace, forgetting the season that was officially behind him now. The only thing in his line of sight were the Playoffs. That, and his growing relationship with the girl in his arms.

As James went to practice every day, preparing with the rest of his team for the first round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, Ali tried to support him as best she could. She found out rather quickly that this was a much different animal than regular season...more so than she would have ever guessed. As a result, their phone calls became shorter. Their visits dwindled.

James' moods became somewhat unpredictable as the games went by, and Ali held on as best she could through the ups and downs of his emotions. Never before had she realized that the playoffs would take a toll on the players as much as they did, but she did her best to understand. Often, she was left confused...worrying about what the next round might bring, if the Pens advanced.

And they did advance. April progressed into May, and the Pens wound their way through the second round of playoff games. Ali thought things might get better, wondering if maybe the nerves or pressure of entering the playoffs would wear off somehow. Instead, she swiftly discovered it was the very opposite. The good news was that she was able to see a slight shift in James' demeanor: advancing made him and the others on the team incredibly happy. The more games they played, the more they won, and Ali noticed the definite upturn in events just in the way James carried himself.

The bad news was that, while she and James talked when they could, it wasn't very often. The Penguins' practices started very early in the morning, and James spent most of his free time sleeping prior to his games, traveling to and from games, doing press conferences about the games, or giving media interviews about upcoming games. It wore Ali out, and she wasn't even a player.

It was still a lot even for James, but he lived for it. The playoffs were what all his training, practicing, and playing came down to; it's what made playing worth it. With this in mind, he really tried his best to balance his time with Ali, despite the challenges that were evident over the course of the second round. He knew it was only going to get more difficult to spend time with her; the further they advanced, the less time they'd spend together. He didn't like it anymore than she did, but it was his job.

The challenges became increasingly evident to Ali with time. The most that she even got to see James was when she saw him on television. This seemed to be their relationship now: James traveled, Ali watched him on tv, and occasionally, James would show up at her place, tired out of his mind and wanting to spend the night with her instead of alone at his place.

By the end of the second round, as the Penguins beat the Habs to advance, Ali decided she needed a change of some sort. When James called her, she told him she'd be heading back to her hometown for the weekend.

"Going home should be fun, eh?" James zipped his suitcase, then took another glance around the hotel room to be sure he didn't forget anything. On the other line, he heard Ali sigh heavily. "Uh oh, I know that sigh anywhere. What's up, Als?"

Back in Pittsburgh, Ali sunk down into the cushions of her couch, twirling the ends of her hair. "Nothing."

James made a face even though Ali couldn't see it. He wanted to joke around with her about the obvious lie, but the rest of the guys were already downstairs and he'd lingered too long already. "Well, text or give me a call when you make it, okay?"

"Okay, babe."

Ali sounded tired. James wondered if maybe she had a long day at work, or maybe she just needed rest, he didn't know. He didn't have time to ask, either, but he would next time they talked. "Have fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do" he teased. This, at least, got a giggle out of her.

"Oh okay, Mr. Innocence."

He smiled. "Night, Ali."

"Night, James. Safe travels."

She heard him hang up first and felt a million miles away from him. Feeling the need to fill the emptiness with something, she dialed up her best friend. Soon enough, Brittany's voice was heard greeting her.

"Hey Britt, you busy?"

"Nope! Just got home from the gym. What's going on?" Even as her words caught up with her, a gasp escaped from her. "Wait - is something wrong? Did James do something?"

Ali smiled against the phone. "No, silly. Everything's fine."

"I saw they won tonight! You must be so excited for him?"

"I am, I really am." Ali played with the end of her hair again rather absentmindedly, knowing that in her heart, she wished more than anything to have been with James tonight so she could congratulate him more. She knew how important this was to him, despite how tired she was of them being apart so much. "Now on to the third round and whatever it brings with it. Which.....is kind of why I'm calling."

"Oh?" Brittany said, prompting her to continue.

"Yeah, I'm planning on heading home this weekend. I have off, and thought I could use a break--"

"--But wait...don't you want to be with James when he comes home, though?"

Ali had considered this, but she knew the drill by now: James would spend most of the time at his house...or sleeping...or practicing at the arena...or giving interviews and doing media blitzes. She'd rather just leave him to it while she got to visit her parents and friends.

She explained this to Brittany in less detail, reminding her that she hadn't been home in weeks...not since she met James.

"That's probably driving your dad crazy" Brittany joked happily. "He, AND I, will be so excited to see you."

"You're going to be home, too!?!?" Ali's voice took a joyful upturn. She listened as Brittany filled her in on how she hadn't been home in a while either, and with Ali coming home now, she had even more reason to make the trip.

"Great, then it's settled" Ali said. "I'll head home first thing in the morning. Before I know it, I'll have to be back anyways, so it'll be a nice quick weekend."

"AND it'll give us the chance to finally go over all the juicy aspects of your relationship...finally!"

Ali laughed. "Right, right...sorry to keep you waiting."

The pair hung up after making loose plans to meet the following evening at one of the local bars in town; the same place where Christmas breaks were spent in college when they had all come home, or whenever they were annoyed enough by their families and needed to get out of the house. It was somewhere Ali hadn't been in far too long, and the idea of meeting up with Brittany and a few others from her hometown crew excited her.

Glancing sideways at her living room tv, Ali watched as the muted sports program reviewed the game she'd just watched a few hours ago. She saw Sidney Crosby weaving in and out of the players from the opposing team, scoring the game winning goal that clinched the series win for the Penguins. James and his other linemates all piled on top of Crosby, who stood hugging those around him and smiling wildly. In the midst of all this was James, whose eyes had never looked happier and whose smile was as large as she'd ever seen it.

Sighing, Ali reached for the remote and turned the tv off.

* * *

While Ali drove three hours north of Pittsburgh to spend the weekend in her hometown, James woke up in his house, a smile the first thing appearing on his face.

We made it. On to the third round.

He had the morning off from any practice or commitment with the team; a gift from Coach Bylsma, which was more than appreciated. It gave James the chance to take stock of other things in his life, beginning first with returning text messages and phone calls that flooded his phone following their big win.

Scrolling through the messages he had, he chose to respond to one of them via a telephone call...one that was long overdue.

"Hey there, Beautiful." He smiled against the phone as his little sister squealed.

"James! I saw you guys last night - you ROCKED."

Rebecca, though a number of years younger than himself, was the most loyal fan James had. In the flurry of life that had been consuming him, between the playoffs and his relationship with Ali, he'd been meaning to call her for a while now. This was evident in the tone of her voice as she excitedly expressed her congratulations.

"Thank you, thank you" James said humbly, his mind picturing her back home in her upstairs bedroom across the hall from his. "How're mom and dad?"

"Excited. Duh." She laughed happily. "But you know they've been dying to talk to you as well."

"They'll have their turn. Tell me what's new up there?" James stretched his tired limbs as his sister continued talking. He listened as she chatted about this and that, giving a rundown of their other brothers' lives, who her newest crush was, how their parents continued to stay active within the community, keeping themselves as busy as they ever were.

"So really - I haven't been neglecting them so much as they have been neglecting me as well, eh?" he teased.

"Oh come on, James. Really?"

He chuckled, loving the rise he was getting out of her. "No, I know how it goes, Bec. It's just been a little crazy here, that's all."

"You have time in between games though. Don't pretend like you don't - we all know how it works in this family."

"Yeah, but still..." He trailed off, staring down at his bare chest and abdomen, his navy blue boxers slightly twisted from sleeping. He wondered if he should tell them he'd been seeing the most amazing girl the past couple of months; that all his free time prior to the playoffs had been devoted to falling in love with this woman named Allison. He wanted to tell them all that she'd stolen his heart in the strangest of ways, in the strangest of places, but he decided to hold off....for now.

"So is mom there?" he asked, trying to straighten his boxers.

"No, her and dad went to some fundraiser. But they said if you called, to wish you a huge congrats for them."

James smiled. "Thanks. I'll call again later, okay?"

"Yeah I'm sure you will."

His sister didn't sound convinced. In fact, none of the women in his life lately sounded very convinced or satisfied on the phone lately.

"I will, Bec. Trust me."

"Okay!! Okaaaaayyy. Jeeze....sorry."

She huffed a little, but James could hear her sweet smile over the phone. "Love ya, Bec. Talk soon."

"Love you too, Jimmy. Congrats again!"

Since it was fresh on his mind, James immediately dialed Ali following his call with his sister. He didn't have as much luck with her, however, as her voicemail message was the only sound of her voice he got to hear.

"Heyyyy babe" he said, feeling warm inside knowing she'd get to listen to this at some point later. "Just woke up. Missing you, of course...Not the same sleeping here without you anymore."

He paused, hoping that would make her smile.

"Uhh...I just talked to my sister for the first time in a while. So that was cool...Apparently she's got this new boy she's after. Not sure I approve yet. Anyways...figured I'd call you and see if I could catch you, but you must be busy. Hopefully you made it safe and you're having a good time visiting everyone."

Another pause as he wondered if he made the message too long or too boring.

"Also, I think a bunch of us are going out later, but I'll be around 'til dinnertime or so. Really hope you have a good time this weekend, even though I miss you. Kinda wish you were here. Alright, talk later. Bye babe."

He hit the end button and his phone went blank. His thoughts drifted to the dinner he and a bunch of the other guys would be doing later that night...a celebratory dinner of sorts, planned on the flight home the night before. James assumed drinks would follow, and whatever other mischief that came with a late night out in Pittsburgh for them. He was looking forward to it nonetheless.

With this in mind, he figured a few more hours of sleep wouldn't hurt. He slid back under the covers and slipped his phone back on his nightstand. Within minutes, sleep took him and he officially slept in for the first time in weeks.

* * *

Ali listened to James' voice message, his deep voice trailing smoothly through her cell phone. When it finished, she let Brittany listen to it. From across the table, she watched as Brittany's face contorted into one of complete awe and gushy happiness.

"Ohmigod, Allison."

Ali smiled, picking up a few more pieces of pasta with her fork and lifting them to her mouth. She chewed happily, waiting for the message to end and for Brittany to gather herself.

"He sounds....." Brittany shook her head, not able to finish. She handed the phone back to Ali and shrugged. "I don't know. He sounds great. That was a cute message; talking about his sister and all."

She agreed. It was another part of James she was still getting to know; she'd heard all about his brothers, his younger sister, and his parents, of course...but it wasn't often that James opened up a lot about them. It was refreshing to hear him sound so happy to speak about his sister.

"Plus his voice is sexy" Brittany added, fluffing her long black hair. Green eyes glowing in the light of the restaurant, she smiled widely and lifted her wine glass. "I say we toast to your prize."

Ali chuckled. "My prize?"

"Allison." Brittany looked at her as only a childhood best friend could.

"Brittany" Ali said back, finger tracing the lip of her wine glass as innocently as possible.

"Your man - that was him, yes? On that voicemail?"

Butterflies fluttered in Ali's tummy. "Yes." She bit her lip to keep from smiling too much. She watched her best friend's already perfect posture straighten further.

"And he's an NHL superstar, who is now moving on to the next round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, yes?"

More butterflies. "Yes" she agreed. "But--"

"--Ah ah!" Brittany leaned over the table, closing the distance between them. "And you said he's packing, right?"

Ali knew her eyes were twinkling and she didn't care. "Yes."

Sitting back, Brittany raised her wine glass even further. "So....we toast! To your prize."

Surrendering willingly, Ali raised her glass and smiled at her friend smartly. "To my prize."

They clinked glasses. Gladly, Ali let the wine flow down her throat to fill her belly with warmth. The night had been fun so far, and after not seeing Brittany in over four or five months, it was great just to grab dinner and hang out with her like old times. Since she'd moved to Boston for college and stayed living there after graduation, syncing up times when they were both home at the same time had dwindled. This time though, it had worked out, and they would finish their night out at their favorite hometown bar after dinner.

"I can see the glow all over your face" Brittany added, giving Ali a wink as she checked her phone. "I wish I had that new-relationship-feel all over again. Nothing beats it."

"Yeah, that's for sure." Shaking her head, Ali spun the stem of the glass between her fingers. "But these playoffs, Britt....They haven't been all that fun. For me, anyways." She looked up and shrugged one shoulder. "Not that I really have anything to compare it to."

"Yeah, but isn't it worth it? I mean....you two still see one another, right?"

"Yes but not like before."

"But clearly you still talk when you can?" Britt nodded at Ali's phone, alluding to the voicemail.

Ali stared at the deep plum shade of her wine, considering. "Right, but..."

"But what, hun?"

Brittany sat waiting across from her, but Ali didn't know how to answer. Something was nagging her little by little, something that stayed stuck in the back of her mind over the past few weeks. It never escaped Ali that, just as her and James had told one another they loved each other, things started to decline a little. Call it bad timing with the playoffs, call it the stress on James' part or a packed schedule on both their parts, but Ali saw the pattern of visits lessen and phone calls stay limited to certain times based on when James was playing and when he wasn't.

Understanding that this was an internal struggle she didn't want voiced, Ali blew a raspberry and sighed. "Agh. Nothing. I don't know what I was thinking." She gave a fake smile, hoping to smooth it over. "It's all good, really."

Brittany bought it. "Good. It's okay to be happy for yourself, you know."

True. That is true. Ali considered this a little more, even as her and Brittany finished their meal and headed out for the bar. I'm allowed to be happy. Me and James are fine.

As they headed to the car, Ali pulled her phone from her purse and signaled for Brittany to hold up. "Care if I try calling him back before we go?" She got the go-ahead even as she was dialing James up, knowing Britt wouldn't care.

Turning her back to the rest of the parking lot, Ali waited hopefully as one ring went by. A second, third, and fourth ring passed without anyone answering on the other line, and her heart sank.

What the fuck, though she thought with irritation.

Soon enough, Ali heard the beeps of his voicemail greeting and ended the call. With frustration, she drafted up a quick text:

A: You around?

She sent it, hoping maybe she'd reach James that way.

It was not the case.

* * *

Notes