Meeting in a Dark Alley

Our story begins, ladies and gentlemen, in 2013 behind the scenes at the photoshoot for the “Improper Bostonian” article, featuring Tyler Paul Seguin, a young up-and-coming superstar forward out of Brampton, Ontario.

Tyler walked into the building, where he was supposed to be going for his photoshoot. He headed down a long hallway and into a small studio setting. There were people walking around inside already, busy with missions and individual efforts. There was a pool table set up, as well as a green screen and other miscellaneous items.

Tyler headed over to the person in charge, at least he assumed such, given that the man was barking out orders. He turned to the young superstar and greeted him with a smile and eagerness. It was completely different from the “ordering” guy.

“Hi there, you must be Tyler Seguin?”

“That I am.”

“Welcome to the set, let me get you set up and we can start this puppy!” He put an arm around Tyler’s shoulders and led him to where he was going to be first, which was by the pool table.

There he left him, while the guy went to find someone else. He returned a few minutes later with a woman. She came and began to talk to him and fill him in on different things. She was to be his interviewer or so she proclaimed.

But first, the crew gathered together and began to conduct the photoshoot part of the interview, which would create the images for the article. This didn’t take long, with him behaving and things running quickly and smoothly.

And before long he was seated in a chair, across from the woman interviewer. She was blushing and twirling her hair. He was used to the attention and the all the female fan followers. A lot of the women hockey fans followed him and liked him. Though there were some males, most of his fans were girls, who called themselves “Seguinistas.”

“So, Tyler, ohmygoshIcan’tbelieveI’mmeetingyouinperson, what kind of shampoo do you use?”

Tyler blinked. “Uh, seriously?”

“Nevermind, gosh this is so cool. Um, I’m so nervous, do you like blonds or brunettes?”

“Redheads. Just kidding. I don’t know. Aren’t you supposed to be asking me actual questions about hockey?”

“Of course she is, but she’s not the one talking to you. Sorry, about that, she’s my daughter and the one who will be taking the notes for me. My name’s Jonathan Soroff and I’m going to be interviewing you.” A tall balding man spoke, extending a hand out to the young man. Tyler took it and returned the gesture with a warm and mature smile. “How did you entertain yourself in Switzerland during the lockout?”

“I actually did a lot of cooking, which I’ve never done before. That, and go to movies in German, or English if I was lucky. We had a lot of poker nights, too.” Tyler winked to the woman, who blushed and struggled to write down his response. “Would you like me to repeat what I say?”

“Oh, no. It’s okay.” She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“If was made known that you hung out with a certain person from Chicago, tell me what was that about?”

“I take it you are talking about my new friend Patrick Kane?”

“Aye, him.”

“Well, I was new over there and he’s similar to me. We are both very out-going people and he’s a good kid. He and I hit it off right away.”

“Okay. In Europe, did you really try to use a dryer as a washing machine?”

“That stuff was all a bunch of B.S. Apparently, one of the maids got approached by a big newspaper and she completely exaggerated. I left some change on the table and they said it was like 280 euros, which is ridiculous. It was all pretty much a bunch of lies.”

Tyler leaned back in the chair and looked at the woman, who was better behaved now and more comfortable. She glanced up and locked eyes with him, but she didn’t blush or lose it this time. The man narrowed his eyes at Tyler, as if trying to tell him to stop showing off for his daughter.

“How worried were you that there wasn’t going to be an NHL season?”

“There were plenty of days when I’d get a text or voice mail while I was asleep saying, “Pack your bags. You’re going home in the morning.” And then five hours later, I’d wake up to another message saying, “Never mind. False alarm.” That started getting annoying. But we tried to stay in the loop over there, and in the end, I’m just glad that everything worked out the way it did because it will help us in the long run. There were problems in the system that are resolved now.”

“Uh huh.”

“It was mainly Marchy. He likes to play around like that.” Tyler chuckled to himself, as though enjoying a moment only he knew about.

“Tell more about this “Marchy”...Brad Marchand I take it?”

“Yes. Marchy is a great guy, really talented and him and I like to prank the others.”

“Oh, and what kind of pranks do you pull?”

“Well, mostly we stick to the easy stuff and we like to chirp the boys a lot. But we’ll do all kinds of silly stuff.”

“What’s the best locker room prank you ever pulled?”

“Last year, I taped Brad Marchand’s shoes together. He didn’t like it, but still...it was a good laugh, for me. But he got me back of course. He cut my laces.”

“What’s your favorite snack at the Garden?”

“I’d have to say a bagel with peanut butter and jelly. But I’m not picky.”

“Any superstitions before going on the ice?”

“It’s weird. I try to be anti-superstitious, I guess you could say. If I go out and have a good game, I’ll change things the next time, like wear a different pair of gloves. But that’s kind of typical. I mean all players change up the sticks, gloves and whatnot every once and a while. If you aren’t scoring, chances are it’s probably the stick or if you are, than it might be a good stick.” He chuckled to himself briefly.

“How many pictures do you have of you with the Stanley Cup?”

“Way too many. On my phone, probably eight or nine, and my mom back in Canada has at least 20 framed ones.”

“What’s the most unconventional thing you’ve done with it?”

Tyler tilted his head back and thought about that. He wasn’t sure, but he knew that it wasn’t anything too bad...but it wasn’t cleanly either. He was rather ashamed, but he just shrugged and said, “We came back to the hotel after a day with the Cup and I needed a shower, so I took a shower with it. Those photos were deleted within five minutes.”

“You showered with the Cup?” the woman burst out, stunned.

“Yeah! But sorry, no pictures left, babe.”

“Stop hitting on my child, Seguin!”

“Come on, you have a hot daughter. And she doesn’t have to go along and like me, if she doesn’t want to, but hey, who can resist a Bostonian pretty boy, eh?”

“Moving on, what’s your greatest hockey player of all time?”

“That’s pretty easy. It’s Steve Yzerman. He’s just my favorite player, and it’s cool that I’ve gotten to know him a little bit.”

The woman chimed out with a question, “Who’s the toughest player on the Bruins? Is it like you?”

Tyler turned to her and smirked. “The best fighter? Zdeno Chara, obviously. But in terms of agility, Shawn Thornton.”

“Shawn Thornton? What’s he like?”

“A wanna-be Irish man. No, he’s cool. I’d definately hate to be on a team who has to go against him.”

“How about your worst injury?”

“Last year, I had a really bad knuckle injury that I played with for the rest of the season, and it was one of the most painful periods of hockey I’ve had, because I couldn’t do anything without it hurting like crazy. But I’ll probably suffer worse.”

“Do you think it is true what they say about hockey player? How they are the toughest athletes around?” It was the woman again.

“I agree. But I think football players also have to be tough and be able to withstand injuries and be physical. But I don’t think anyone or any other sport has tougher players and athletes than hockey. And we’ll always stick up for our friends and have our teammates’ backs, even if we joke around to the media about “hating” them. Ha-ha.”

“Are all your teeth your own?”

“Yes, they’re all mine.” He grins largely, which finally makes the woman gasp and blush once more.

“I told you to stop it!” the interviewer, Jonathan snapped.

Tyler sent her a wink though and folded his arms. “How many more questions, man?”

“A few. The Whitby Wildcats. Worst team name ever?”

Tyler laughed. “Seriously? Yes. And the thing is that I also played on the lacrosse team, which was called the Whitby Warriors. So it was Wildcats in the winter and Warriors in the summer. I was quite the predator.”

“Yeah, you are quite the predator,” the woman stated, pursing her lips in a sexy way now.

“Taylor, knock it off! One more anything with Tyler and you’ll be sent away and I’ll just do the interview myself.”

She dropped her head and shook it. She controlled herself, but sent a wink to Tyler, as soon as her father turned from her. Tyler caught it and nodded.

“Think you could be on Skating With the Stars?”

“Probably not. But I’m a good dancer off the ice. So the boys and everyone say. I’m not sure if they are just chirping me or being nice.”

“What about your dream endorsement deal?”

“Before this year it probably would’ve been Breitling watches, because they’re my favorite, but while I was in Switzerland, I had a deal with them, which was pretty nice.”

“So maybe a company like Ferrari then?”

“No. I have a nice car. I drive a Maserati.”

“Ok, then, what endorsement deal would you never want?”

“Viagra. That would be embarrassing.”

“I’d say,” the man stated, rolling his eyes. “Touche!”

“Which is nastier: the Bruins locker room after practice or a ladies’ room at 2 am in a club?”

“Definitely the ladies’ room. Hands down.”

“How do you know?”

“No comment.” Tyler looked to the side and heaved a heavy sigh. “Let’s just say that something’s are better left unsaid and not told in an interview. It is a private thing.”

“Did you find out from your sister?”

“No.”

“Brother?”

“What? No, I don’t have a brother. I’m the only son and male child in my family.”

“Good to know. So what goes on in Brampton, Ontario?”

“Absolutely nothing, aside from a couple of shootings now and then. It’s a pretty tough place.”

“At least you didn’t get shot or have to deal with anything.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Tyler sighed again and glanced at his wristwatch. He was beginning to grow bored with being interviewed.

“Strongest characteristic as a player?”

“I’d like to think it’s a tie between quick release and skating.”

“So you’re a 21-year-old and you make $900K a year, what’s your biggest extravagance?”

“I guess clothes. I like to shop at Barneys and Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue. Big names.”

“What food is your version of Popeye’s spinach?”

“I’d have to say...Salmon with honey. Night before game, day of game. Always.”

“How about a guilty pleasure?”

“Buffalo wings.”

“And beauty secrets?”

Tyler laughed a tiny bit. “Seriously man? I’m pretty low-maintenance. My go-to cologne is Zara. I’ve been using it for four years. Other than that, I’ve never had a problem with acne or anything, so I pretty much just shower and go.”

The woman was biting her lip, trying hard not to break out or lose focus or anything. She was quickly scribbling the last bit of his response down on the paper.

“How about all the rumors about you and the Playboy model or every female B.U. student?”

“The Playboy model, we went out a couple of times. As for every female B.U. student, it’s a big school. But seriously? Every two days someone comes up to me and asks about a girl I’m supposedly seeing. I’m very single.”

“Don’t-don’t let--”

“YOU’RE SINGLE?!?! WHAT? HOW?” Taylor burst out. She dropped her notepad and pen and raced forward. She grabbed Tyler’s shirt in her hands.

“Whoa!” Tyler stated.

Jonathan stood up and grabbed his daughter. He dragged her off of the Boston player and shoved her out of the room. He came back and apologized, but was very curious about why Tyler Seguin, the self-proclaimed “ladies’ man” of the Boston Bruins, the man who every girl wanted a piece of was exceptionally single.

“I just don’t have time to date right now. My main focus is hockey and doing the best I can. As much as it sounds like a broken record, said by many players, it’s true. I am single and I plan to remain single for some time. Of course, eventually I will want to find a woman, but I’m young and I just want to focus on doing my best on the ice and with the team. I can date and fall in love later on.”

“Fair enough, Tyler. One more question. And this one is kind of personal, but I’m very interested to know, what is one NHL player you don’t want to meet in a dark alley?”

“It’s okay, I don’t mind answering that. There’s one guy, Zenon Konopka, I just don’t like playing with him.”

“Zenon Konopka?”

“He’s a Buffalo Sabre.”

Notes

Fact: Jonathan Soroff is an actual person and the actual writer of the article.
Non fact: Unsure if he has a daughter and her name is Taylor.
Fact: Tyler is single.
Non fact: Maybe he isn't single as of current time. And he may or may not have answered other questions and dealt with the interviewer's daughter hitting on him. And maybe or maybe he did not hit on her in the process. :P

Next up: There's going to finally be action and fun stuff with this!! And for those who don't know Zenon, you soon will. :) He is a Sabre and he's pretty scary, but I would have picked Avery, Vanek, Kaleta...one of them. :P