Oh Juliet

Getting back to dancing was great, but it was also more stressful. From here on out, everything had to be absolutely perfect because the oireachtas was fast approaching. I spent a lot of time at the studio, but not near as much time as I should be, in my opinion. Everyone else was glad I wasn't there as often though.
The girls I taught individually were limited to an hour a week with me so that I was able to keep my sanity in check for the most part. How sane can I really be? Breaking in hard shoes two weeks before a major competition that I honestly didn't feel ready for. It didn't matter, as long as my shoes didn't fall apart on stage.
Like seriously, breaking in a pair of 6 inch heels was better than breaking in these fuckers.
Even though I stopped drinking llike I used to, I still went out with Vivian and was her wing woman. Encroaching competition just meant I was only drinking a beer or two, tops, and not going home with any random guys.
Well, not until two weeks before I needed to get my shit together.
"I shouldn't be going out tonight." Vivian set down her mascara and turned to me.
"You need to relax. Just go out with me so I can find someone to make out with tonight." Yeah, because you're just going to make out. I know you better than that, Viv.
"Okay whatever. I'm stealing your booze though." I walked out to see Sarah and Nora out on the couch with my cousin. I laughed, singing 'Scotty Doesn't Know' to myself as I grabbed a bottle of vodka out of the freezer.
"Stop singing that song," my cousin yelled from the couch, not taking his eyes off the tv. "And stop flipping me off." Damn, he was good.
"Damn it Scotty. You ruin everything." I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and generou"sly poured myself some vodka before adding the red bull. "Honey came in a nd she caught me red-handed, creeping with the girl next door. Picture this we were both butt naked, banging on the bathroom floor."
"How could I forget that I had given her an extra key. All this time she was standing there, she never took her eyes off me." Vivian belted out, upsetting the three watching a movie on the couch.
"Good God. You guys aren't even drunk yet and you're already annoying." Nora snapped. Yeah, okay.
"Exactly why we're leaving." Vivian poured my drink into a plastic cup and we were off to our favorite spot. I had offered to hook her up with one of the Stars but apparently she was going for the opposing team tonight. No idea who it was, but I guess I was about to find out.
"So the Rangers are in town and their goalie is a babe."
"Not to mention married with a daughter." I looked at her like she was insane. Yeah, he was a gorgeous man and amazing player, but no.
"Well they aren't here and I am."
"Vivian. I'm not letting you be a homewrecker. He probably won't be out tonight, anyway." I ruined her hopes and dreams as I ordered shots. For myself. This was the only time I'd be able to drink like this until after Worlds. If I made it there.
My friend left me, which I didn't really mind. It just meant I didn't have to help her struggle to get words out. I don't know why she ruins it by mumbling. She's damn gorgeous and could get any guy that she wanted in this room. Just needs to have a few drinks before that happens, unfortunately.
"Juliet!" Val yelled, he was obviously drunk, like I was getting to be. "How are you?"
"I'm not drunk enough for this. How'd the game go?"
"We lost. It's because I didn't get to play." I laughed and shook my head. This kid is something else.
"Okay Val."
"I'm gonna go. Good seeing you."
"You too."
I sat on my stool before a very sober Jamie came over to join me.
"How's it going?"
"Bad. I played like shit." He ordered a drink. The same thing he always was drinking. No idea what it was, nor did I care.
"Everyone has their bad games. Just gotta figure out what you did wrong and fix it." I finished the most recent shot and then ordered a mixed drink. "Now that shits deep."
Jamie laughed and looked around the room, "You here with anyone?"
"Vivian but it looks like she found herself a Ranger to go home with tonight." I knew where he was heading with this and I didn't like it. I looked around the room and caught eyes with some girl giving me a death glare and I knew exactly why she was doing that. "Hey Jamie, there's a girl over there that's been looking at you since you sat down. Make her day and go talk to her."
He was hesitant at first, but then went on to talk to her. From what I saw, he seemed to be enjoying himself. I just really didn't have it in me to break his heart.
I walked into the apartment the next morning with my heels in hand, wearing some guy's button up with my jeans. I was a hot mess. Not sure which part to emphasize there.
"I made waffles."
"Awesome." I dropped my heels by my bedroom door and went back to the kitchen for something to drink. And waffles, of course.
"Who was it this time? The tool from the east coast again?" I almost spit out my orange juice and Tyler dropped his fork.
"No I think he has a girlfriend now. Never see him out anymore. I can't remember his name but he was so sweet and really, really good in bed. Like the best I've had. Said he's from Norway."
"Thought you were done doing that stuff." Tyler stated.
"Yeah, I'm not drinking anymore. But I kinda miss really good sex, ja feel?" Both of the people at the table with me hated when I said that.
Honestly, you would think that they went out and drank last night instead of me. But no, I'm the hungover one. I just wanted to push their buttons. Couldn't tell you why, I just did.
"Are you going to the studio this morning?"
"No I'm going to take a nap and sober up a little before spending the entire day shaking it off. I did have a long night." I looked at Tyler from the corner of my eye. He was trying not to let what I was saying get to him. Trying, but not succeeding.
"I'm going to take a shower. Try not to kill each other." Grace placed her dishes in the sink and went into our bathroom.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Tyler snapped as soon as Grace turned on her music.
"Having fun. What's so wrong with that?" I played dumb, just to piss him off. I don't usually condone this kind of behavior, but right now it's kind of funny.
"You don't just come in here and talk about that."
"Yeah, because it's not like it's my house or anything.." I finished my waffle, leaving my plate on the table. My roommate could get it or Tyler could. Didn't really care which.
The hockey player followed me down to my room and backed me up against a wall. Way to be intimidating, fuckboy.
"It's not fair." He growled.
"What's not fair? That you're dating my best friend? Yeah, fucking noticed." I pushed him away from me and slammed the door to my room.
I climbed out of my clothes and into my bed, only I couldn't fall asleep. I was really tired but that didn't seem to matter. I laid there until I knew that the two others were gone before I cleaned up a little and started to the studio.
Well, that was originally my plan but I dropped off my bag and did some shopping. Retail therapy and possibly some ice cream would make me feel a little better.
I bought three new pairs of shoes and a ridiculous amount of sweaters and leggings. You can never have too many of those and I'm able to wear them to work, so I mean, it's a win-win situation.
As I sat in the ice cream shop booth by myself, a group of high school students walked in to order something. There was this couple that stuck out to me. They looked at each other like they meant the world to the other. Which right now, that's probably true.
Everyone talks about growing up and being 21 so they can legally drink. Yeah, being the age I am now is great and all, but what about 18? I don't even like football, but I miss watching the games with my friends on Friday nights. The feeling of being there is unforgettable. I remember the goosebumps when my team would win. Or the feeling I got when I was asked to a dance. I was never nominated for a court or anything, but it was still fun.
High school sucked for me, but I miss those little experiences, ya know? I miss living with my parents, always fighting with my sister. I miss my first "love". I miss not having to worry about anything but getting to dance and school on time.
The only thing that's remotely the same is that I still live in Dallas and I'm still ranked fifth in the world for dance. Things are so different now. What I wouldn't give to go back and have my eighteenth birthday again.
What I wouldn't give to not love Tyler.
That night, I went home. My sister was at a friend's house so it was just me and my parents on the couch watching movies together. My mom picked some horrible Nicholas Sparks movie which only meant one thing.
I would be bawling my eyes out halfway through the movie and not because of the actual movie. I hate these stupid fucking love stories. Shit like this doesn't happen in real life. Once you blow your chance, it's done.
I ran to my room and slammed the door. There was so much I was holding back that needed to get out. I'm sure it seemed like I had just lost someone because of the amount of pain I was in.
"Sweetie what's wrong?" My mom came in and sat down on my bed next to me. She started rubbing my back, waiting for me to calm down just a bit.
"I love him and I don't know why. He's dating my best friend and I can't do a damn thing about it. I'm going to lose one of them and right now I wouldn't care if it's Grace." I covered my mouth and started crying harder. I can't believe that just came out of my mouth. "She changed since she's been with him. She doesn't treat my like she used to and I'm tired of her."
"I think you need to get out of that apartment." She sweetly said. "If he's going to be over there, you need to get out. You are always welcome to stay here. I'm sure one of your dad's friends would put you in a hotel for a while."
My mother gave me options, but I didn't want to take them. That was my apartment. My name was on the lease. I shoudn't have to deal with that if I didn't want to. I could stay at Jamie's, but I didn't want to give him the wrong impression or lead him on because he deserved so much better than me.
I got home the next day, after church of course, to see Tyler and Grace on my couch. Shirtless.
"Oh hell no. This shit is not going to fly." I dropped my bag on the floor and threw my keys on the table. Grace struggled to find her shirt, but Tyler didn't care. "I refuse to keep coming home to you two doing this. I will not deal with you two constantly being all lovey dovey and shit. Tyler has his own place. Go hangout there, but this. This is my house too and I refuse to be in my room all the time."
"Jules-"
"No. Don't Jules me. I'm so fucking sick of this."
"Maybe it's because you're lonely." She snapped. Maybe it's because I'm in love with your boyfriend.. "You know what? You've been nothing but a bitch since I've been dating Tyler."
"Me? I'm rarely here. I've been working my ass off so that I can make it to worlds. I want to come home and be able to watch tv or eat in peace. Not have you two arguing about something stupid."
I went to my room to pack a bag and grab everything I needed for tomorrow and left. I called my mom, who told my dad to get me a room at the Four Seasons. I stopped by one of the fancy restaurants we lived by and ordered enough food to eat my sorrows away.

Notes