White Orchids

One Month Later

“So what do you think?”

Nicki took a step back to look at her finished work, adjusting a few of the throw pillows on the new couch. Tyler handed her a glass of water and slipped an arm around her back.

“I think it’s perfect,” he said, planting a kiss on her cheek. “You did a really great job.”

“Thanks, Ty. How’s that salmon coming? I’m starving.”

“I was just going to check it. Wanna come?”

She nodded and let him lead her out of the living room, through the kitchen and into the backyard, where she was instantly greeted with the smell of burning charcoal.

When they were renovating the kitchen, Nicki had gone behind Tyler’s back and got an outdoor kitchen installed on the patio, complete with a stove, a sink, and a top of the line grill. She had done it figuring he would like it, but had no clue that it would inspire him to become a grill connoisseur. He fell perfectly into the manly stereotype, inviting the team over on more than one occasion to display his skills and state of the art work area.

“Remember when you didn’t even know how to cook pasta?” she asked, running a hand up and down his back. “You’ve come so far.”

Tyler looked over his shoulder at her and flashed her his million dollar smile. As he aged, he only became more attractive, and especially charming.

“Well I have you to thank for that, don’t I?”

“I won’t take all of the credit,” she said, reaching up to rub his shoulders. He leaned into her touch like it was the best thing he’d ever felt, and let out a long, exaggerated moan.

“Can I please get one tonight?” he asked, rolling back his muscular shoulders. “I think Claude is actually trying to murder me.”

Nicki let her hands fall to his hips, and placed a kiss in the center of his back. The past week, she’d felt a gnawing desire to touch him constantly, to shower him with affection until he literally could no longer take it. She didn’t put too much thought into why, assuming it was a mix of general happiness and their increased activity in the bedroom. And the living room. And the kitchen. And the bathroom. And more or less any other room that had any kind of surface whatsoever. The plus to having a huge empty house? There was plenty of room to gallivant.

Tyler was persistently trying to alleviate any pressure she felt about getting pregnant, and usually the only successful tactic was sex. Needless to say, as the days went on, she grew more and more concerned with the consistent blue dashes that showed up on her tests. The foreboding knot in her gut grew tighter with each one, creating a large amount of unhealthy stress. Certainly back rubs and ice cream helped, but nothing did the trick quite like a quickie in the shower or romantic nighttime love making.

“Of course you can, babe. Maybe a nice Jacuzzi bath after?” she suggested, kneading her knuckles into his tightened back. She could feel the tangled muscles just begging to be rubbed out, and realized just how much pain he must be in.

“You had me at ‘of’,” he said, laughing at the lack of sense that his statement made.

Nicki gave him a pat on the back and said, “I’m gonna set the table. Almost done?”

“Yup. Two more minutes.”

She left a kiss on his arm before heading back inside to grab plates and utensils. The days that were warm enough to eat outside were numbered, and she wanted to enjoy every last one of them. As she put everything neatly in its place on the outside table, she caught a glimpse of the sun beginning to set over the lake. Although she’d grown used to her new surroundings, she still barely believed that this was where she lived. Over the last month, she’d transformed each room, slowly turning a bare house into a cozy home. The cozy part was a challenge due to the high ceilings and spacious layout, but with the right methods, she’d managed to do it.

Before taking a seat at the table, Nicki ran inside one last time and grabbed a beer out of the fridge. She opened it and handed it to a very gracious Tyler, who took a long swig before giving it back to her. A smile crossed her face at the sight of it; it was just a man, his grill, and his beer. She set it down on the table and sat, watching him as he worked.

Every morning, she found herself happier and happier to wake up next to him. She wondered if it would ever stop growing, and questioned just how much joy she could take before it caused her to explode.

“Dinner is served,” he said, using a spatula to transfer the freshly cooked salmon onto each of their plates.

Nicki leaned across the table to leave a sweet kiss on his lips.

“Thank you sweetheart.”

“No problem. I don’t know what I’m gonna do when it’s too cold out to grill. I might have withdrawals.”

She giggled and picked up a fork to slice through the tender fish. When she lifted it to her mouth and tasted the perfectly smoked salmon, she shook her head.

“You’ve done it again. This is so good.”

“You know, I’m considering quitting hockey and opening up my own restaurant.”

Nicki stared at him, hoping he wasn’t being genuine. She really needed to stop stroking that ego of his.

“Your face right now,” he said, laughing through another sip of beer. “I’m just kidding, babe.”

“You better be! I can’t say I’d be as attracted to you if you were a chef. There’s just something about you on a pair of skates…”

She caught her bottom lip between her teeth and raked her eyes across the portion of his body that was visible over the table.

“What? You don’t want me to trade in the pads for an apron and a funny hat?”

Another giggled escaped her lips and she took another bite. She chewed slowly, but swallowed as soon as she noticed.

“Speaking of aprons, somebody forgot to put on the Kiss the Cook,” she pointed out, waving her fork at him.

Tyler’s eyes widened as he looked down and realized his mistake.

“Whoops. Well, I got a kiss anyways.”

He tried to copy her, biting his bottom lip the way she had. He looked like a complete and utter goon, but it wasn’t a total failure. It drew her attention to his plump, pink lip, and was enough to make her want to attack him. She withheld, knowing it wasn’t something the neighbors would like to see.

“Oh, you are just asking for it,” she said, smirking.

“It’s going to take a miracle to get me in good enough shape for anything like that.”

“I might be able to make that happen.”

Nicki cracked her knuckles and stretched out her arms, showing that she was more than ready to give him everything he needed. She finished her dinner hurriedly, eager to get started. Maybe she would even find some candles and dim the lights, set the mood in just the right way. As she waited for Tyler to finish, she sat back in her chair and looked out over the changing horizon, appreciating how every night they’d been there so far the sky had turned a different color. Tyler noticed and grabbed her hand across the table.

“Are you happy here?” he asked, playing with her fingers.

“I’m so happy, Ty. Are you?”

Tyler nodded and lifted her hand to his lips. “I don’t think we could have picked a better place to live.”

“Neither do I. I can’t believe I was sad the first night here.”

“I can,” he said, attempting to make her feel better. “It was weird. We were so used to the little apartment.”

“You’re the sweetest, you know that?”

He shot her a grin and let his fork fall to his plate.

“You done?” she asked, lifting her plate from the table. He nodded and she reached for his. “Go get settled upstairs, I’ll clean up.”

Tyler needed no further coaxing and stood up, entering the house, beer in hand. Nicki followed soon after, skillfully closing the sliding glass door with her foot when she got inside. After dumping the remains of their dinner into the garbage, she strategically placed the plates into the dishwasher and started it. One last glance around the kitchen assured her that everything was taken care of, and she made her way upstairs to their bedroom.

She giggled as she pushed the slightly the open door, finding Tyler sprawled out face down on the bed. It wasn’t the first time she’d found him like that, nor would it be the last. But it never failed to make her heart skip a beat. He had to know how precious he was.

“You couldn’t have at least undressed yourself?”

His head lifted ever so slightly, and she nearly cried as she watched him wince at the movement.

“I like when you do it.”

How could she say no that that?

“Okay, sweetie.”

Whenever he was in pain, Nicki always ended up babying him. She couldn’t help it. An instinctual drive took over, kicking her nurturing side up a notch.

“Just give me a second, okay?”

A groan was his only response. Nicki sifted through the draw in her bedside table in search of a lighter. Once she found it, she traveled across the room, lighting each and every candle.

“Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Seguin?”

She grinned and bit down on her tongue as she dimmed the lights.

“Something like that.”

She made her way slowly to the bed, taking great pleasure from the way he looked at her.

“It’s really gonna suck when shorts season is over,” he mumbled, staring at her legs as they moved towards him.

Nicki climbed on top of him and performed the ritualistic task of stripping Tyler down without the slightest bit of help from him. She’d mastered the act, and had found ways to tease him while she did it. A grab here, a stroke there, it worked every time. Once he was bare underneath her, she reached for the massage oil on the bedside table, and let just enough drip onto his broad back. She pressed the base of her hand down first, using the aid of the oil to slide it up and down his spine.

“Ugh, you are the best,” he moaned, dragging out each word.

“You work so hard baby, you deserve it.”

She noticed her slip of tongue after it was too late.

“I’m sorry,” she said, relieved that he wasn’t able to see her cheeks turning red.

Tyler shook his head against the comforter. “I’m done pretending that I don’t love when you call me that.”

Nicki swooned a little before gathering her thoughts. “So it’s manly enough for you now?”

“Oh, hell no. I’ve just come to terms with the fact that I’m a huge pussy.”

“Aw, you aren’t a pussy, baby,” she said, testing the waters with her newest endearment.

When she saw the smile on his face she added, “Besides, I highly doubt pussies can satisfy their wives the way you do.”

“There’s a true statement if I’ve ever heard one.”

“You’re as manly as they come,” she whispered, reaching a hand underneath his hips to grab him. She nearly lost it when she felt how ready he was, and tried to push it to the back of her mind.

Tyler chuckled, obviously sensing her apprehension. “A little too manly for you, huh?”

“Shut it,” she said, giving him a slap on the back.

If she made it through the whole massage without jumping his bones, it would be a miracle. She tried to concentrate on him, knowing that how well she did could easily affect his game, for better or for worse. An injury had forced Chara into early retirement, making this the time for him to prove himself, to show Claude that he deserved an “A” on his jersey. And she was going to help him in whatever way she could; whether it be extensive full body massages or limitless emotional support, she would be there.

Nearly an hour later, she had his back untangled and loose. His legs and arms went quickly and effortlessly. Nicki leaned forward and pressed her lips to the back of his head before getting off of him.

“I’m gonna start the bath, stay right there,” she ordered, confident that he wouldn’t be going anywhere anyways.

She touched her finger to the control pad on the side of the tub and waited for the water to run. Most of the things they’d bought for the house were simple, but they simply had to overindulge in the Jacuzzi tub. It was used on a daily basis, and Nicki considered it money well spent, along with their Tempurpedic mattress.

Hands on her hips made her jump, and she spun around quickly to face Tyler.

“I told you not to move,” she scolded, placing her hands on his chest.

“Well I wanted to get up,” he quipped back. “You undressed me, so it’s only fair that I return the favor.”

“If you insist.”

“I insist,” he said, his voice just a tad huskier than normal, sending chills down her spine.

His hands moved to unbutton her shorts and she sighed as they touched her skin. A grin spread across his face and she looked up at him, unable to do anything but stare as he removed piece after piece of her clothing. When she stood as exposed as he was, his hands slid down her sides, coming to a rest at her hips.

Nicki couldn’t take her eyes away from his; they had a hold on her that was unbreakable. They sparkled in the dim lighting, drawing her in. He leaned forward, and she did too, meeting him halfway. He pulled away much too soon and stepped into the water, never letting her out of his gaze. She followed him in, only sitting when his hands grasped her legs and pulled her down.

She let out a sharp breath as she took him in, and hung her arms around his neck as he pulled her into another kiss. Soft groans moved between their mouths as each of them enjoyed the way the other felt. The risk of flooding the bathroom called for Nicki to move slowly, and she concentrated on her rhythm as she slipped him in and out, empty one second, full the next.

After a good, long while, her toes finally began to curl and she reflexively picked up her speed, squeezing Tyler in a desperate attempt to get them there at the same time. His fingers dragging across her back told her she’d succeeded, and as she settled down, she went limp on top of him, letting his arms hold her above the water.

“Thanks, Ty,” she whispered, leaving tender kisses along his neck.

“Really, it was my pleasure.”

She giggled in his arms, not ready to move just yet. The warm water and his warm skin provided the ultimate comfort.

“Maybe that was the one,” he said, stroking her now dampened hair.

A hopeful sigh pushed its way out of her. “Yeah, maybe.”

“Don’t lose hope, Nicki. It doesn’t always happen right away.”

“You know why that won’t make me feel better,” she muttered, feeling guilty about being so negative.

“I know.”

His arms clenched around her, and she nestled into his neck, trying to find solace.

“I mean, I don’t know about you, but I’ve been thoroughly enjoying the trying part,” he said, trailing his fingers down the length of her back.

Nicki giggled and began to feel a little better. She couldn’t argue with that. It was the best sex they’d ever had; emotional, passionate, and with a goal in mind. There was no doubt she would miss it once it ended, but she’d come to realize that with Tyler, somehow things only get better.

“You always know exactly what to do to cheer me up,” she said, leaving another kiss on his neck. “Don’t you ever get tired of it? Of me?”

Tyler grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back so that she was looking right at him, and what she saw felt like a punch to the gut. He looked undeniably hurt.

“Do you know how great it makes me feel when I can make you feel better? Even just a little bit? How incredible it is to see a smile on your face, and know that I’m the one that put it there? Sometimes I really don’t get you. You must feel the same way when it’s me, right? When I score a goal, and tell you the only reason I did was because I told myself to do it for you, or when I feel like the happiest person in the world, solely because you’re by my side? You can’t tell me that you’d ever get tired of that.”

“No, I can’t say I would,” she muttered, feeling stupid for bringing it up. “Sorry.”

He held her face in his giant hands, like he had so many times before. Every time, it still gave her butterflies. The way he’d make her look straight into his eyes, the way his warm palms felt against her cheeks, the sensation flowed through her veins and caused blood to rush to her face.

“You don’t have to apologize. I just can’t believe you still don’t see how much I love you.”

Nicki felt the guilt creeping up on her once again. She knew that there was no reason to doubt him, but she couldn’t help herself. For most of her life, doubt was the only thing she’d known. It came as naturally to her as breathing.

As always, tears began to well in her eyes. She tried to look away, to hide it from him, but his hands kept her glued in place, exposing every emotion and thought she had. Those eyes saw straight through her, and she had no choice but to give in to them.

Tyler dropped his hands from her face and lifted her off of him, turning her around so that her back was against him. His secured his arms around her stomach, and she could feel the care he took not to squeeze too hard. She hadn’t taken a test in over a week, as they’d agreed maybe taking a break from them would take some pressure off of her. So there remained a small, improbable chance that it had worked, and Tyler was more than aware of that.

She reclined into him, trying to let the serenity he provided to take over and calm her down. It most likely wasn’t helping that she was due to get her period any day now, and since she’d come off of the birth control, she’d been an emotional wreck for five days out of every month. Nicki decided to blame her most recent break down on that, and began to feel a little better knowing that it was out of her control.

As she started to relax, she focused on the rise and fall of Tyler’s chest as he breathed, finding comfort in the rhythmic motions. For one reason or another, she found herself looking at the clock on the control panel of the tub. It was nearly eight.

“Uh, babe? When was the last time you saw Marshall?”

The red flag had been raised, and Tyler became animated behind her, gently shoving her forward so that he could jump out of the water and wrap a towel around himself.

“When I got home. Something’s wrong,” he concluded, disappearing through the doorway.

Nicki pushed her issues aside and followed him, dripping water all over the floors. She used her towel to dry her hair instead of her body, knowing that her locks carried much more water. She heard Tyler’s heavy, frantic footsteps as he checked room after room.

“He might just be napping,” she called out, hoping he’d heard.

“No, no way. Nicki you know Marshall. We haven’t fed him yet. He should be up our asses right now.”

She had to admit that he was right, but the last thing she wanted to do was start worrying about Marshall. There was no way that she’d be able to deal with that in her current emotional state. Nicki took the staircase up to the third floor, doing a quick scan. It became clear very quickly that he wasn’t there, due to the fact that there still wasn’t anything up there.

“Did you check the pantry?” she asked, recalling the few times they’d found him in there, passed out next to the container of dog food.

Tyler walked right into her, unaware that she had been so close to him.

“Shit, babe, I’m sorry,” he said, momentarily focusing on her instead of finding Marshall. “You okay?”

Nicki gripped her stomach where his elbow had landed, but nodded her head. Walking into him was probably comparable to walking into a boulder. She followed him down the stairs, taking them two at a time. They each called out his name, bribing him with treats they didn’t have.

After a thorough search of the entire house, it became evident that he wasn’t there. He’d gotten loose before, but always came right back, scared away by traffic and smaller animals.

“Oh God,” Tyler murmured, holding his head in his hands. “What do we do? Do we go looking for him? What if he comes back and we aren’t here?”

She came up behind him and soothingly ran a hand across his back.

“Shh,” she cooed, “It’s gonna be fine. We’ll find him, Ty. But you won’t be much help if you’re a wreck.”

Nicki knew how much Marshall meant to him, and couldn’t imagine what he would do if something happened to him. She tried to ignore the nagging feeling that he wasn’t okay, and did her best to talk Tyler through it. The last thing they needed was him getting in an accident or doing something reckless because he was freaking out.

Her hand rose on his back as he took a long, deep breath.

“That’s it,” she said softly, making sure he had gathered himself before she spoke again. “Why don’t you take my car and go look for him. It’ll be easier to get him in mine than yours. And I’ll wait here in case he comes back. Who knows? Maybe he’s hiding somewhere we didn’t look.”

Tyler nodded, seeming a bit more composed now. Nicki ran into the kitchen and grabbed a handful of Marshall’s treats, shoving them into Tyler’s pocket. She had no idea how, in the midst of his frenzied search, he’d managed to get dressed. Her hands grasped his face and pulled him to her lips.

“He’s gonna be okay,” she said, her lips just an inch away from his. After one last peck for added encouragement, she let go of him. “Keep your phone on you.”

“I will. You too,” he said, turning to leave.

“Hey!” she called, waiting for him to look at her. “I love you.”

He just nodded and ran out the front door. Nicki ran her fingers through her hair, took a breath, and tried to concentrate. She called Marshall’s name a few more times out of desperation, but knew deep down that if he was there he would have come the first time he heard it. After pacing around the house, she finally decided that she would call some of the neighbors and see if they’d seen him.

The first week they’d spent in the house, the neighbors had slowly trickled in, bringing baked goods and leaving telephone numbers. They were mostly elderly couples, but there were a few mid-lifers, all without children. It was an exclusive part of town to live in, and guessed those who could afford it either weren’t the types to have kids, or had spent all of their money on the house.

Nicki used the home phone, out of paranoia that Tyler might call her cell and she would miss it. She dialed the first number on the list hung on the refrigerator.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Mrs. Newman? This is Nicki Seguin, your neighbor.”

She waited as the ancient woman was racking her brain to remember who she was.

“Oh, Nicki! In the white house?”

Nicki tried to suppress a laugh. It wasn’t funny, she was terrified of being old.

“That’s me. Listen, I think our dog might have gotten loose, you or your husband haven’t seen him, have you?”

She guessed she and her husband didn’t really see much of anything, and began to think she’d wasted a phone call.

“No, I’m sorry honey, we haven’t. I’ll be sure to give you a ring if he comes wandering over here.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Newman.”

“Buh bye now, sweetie.”

An exasperated sigh escaped her lips as she hung up the phone. She scanned the list of numbers, trying to match the last names with faces. The Purcells seemed promising, and she punched the numbers hastily.

“Dan, here.”

Nicki nearly scoffed. What a way to answer the phone.

“Hi, Mr. Purcell? It’s your neighbor, Nicki Seguin.”

“Ah, Nicki, how are you? And Tyler? The season is starting soon, huh? I can’t thank you enough for the season tickets.”

Why wouldn’t he want to chit chat? Because she called him all the time. It would only make sense that the only time she’d ever called was to catch up.

“Uh, yeah, no problem. I was actually calling to check if you’ve seen our dog. He’s a chocolate lab? I think he got out, and he hasn’t come home.”

“Oh, shoot, I’m sorry to hear that. Let me check with Brenda.” Nicki pulled the phone from her ear as he screamed into his house at his wife. “No, sorry, neither of us have seen him. You should call the animal hospital, sometimes that’s where people bring loose dogs when they can’t find the owner.”

“That’s a good idea. You don’t happen to have the number, do you?”

He said he did, and she took it down in her cell phone. What were the chances that he’d actually been helpful.

“Thank you so much,” she said, ready to hang up.

“Yeah, no problem. Good luck with it, call me when you find him. We’ll keep an eye out until then.”

“Great, will do. Thanks for your help,” she added, before slamming the phone down on the receiver.

Within seconds, she’d dialed the number to the animal hospital. It rang. And rang. And rang. With each time, she grew more and more nervous.

“Lynnfield animal hospital, this is Linda, how can I help you?”

Nicki exhaled the breath she’d been holding and tried to clear her mind.

“Hi, I’m looking for my dog, and a neighbor told me to call here to check if anyone had brought him in.”

“Okay, what kind of dog is it?”

“Chocolate lab,” she answered, not ready for a game of twenty questions. “He’s a male, over one hundred pounds, six years old, and I don’t think he has his collar on.”

A long pause on the other end of the line nearly made her heart stop.

“We’re gonna need you to come down here.”

“What? Why?”

“I’m not supposed to tell you over the phone, but I have a dog, and I couldn’t imagine someone doing that to me. He’s been hit by a car, and is currently in surgery. Just, get here as quickly as you can. What’s your name, sweetheart?”

“Nicki,” she choked, unable to hold back the tears. “Is he gonna be okay?”

“I’m not sure,” she answered truthfully. “I don’t have clearance to go into the operating room.”

“I’ll be right there,” Nicki whispered, barely getting the words out.

How was she going to tell Tyler?

She hesitantly picked up her phone and speed dialed him. As his picture came up, she nearly lost her bearings.

“Did you find him?”

“Yeah. Come home, okay?”

“I’m right down the street I’ll be right there,” he said.

He sounded so relieved. It was going to absolutely kill him to find out. Nicki raced through the house and up the stairs, throwing on her clothes from earlier. It had probably cooled off quite a bit, but goose bumps were currently the last thing on her mind. She slipped into a pair of flips flops and bounded down the stairs, waiting anxiously for Tyler to pull into the driveway.

The second she saw the lights bouncing across the pavement, she punched in the code for the alarm and sped out of the house, but slowed as she reached the driveway. If she was running, and Marshall wasn’t with her, Tyler was sure to freak out.

He got out of the car but thankfully left it running. She walked right by him and got into the driver’s seat, ordering him to the other side.

“What’s going on? Where is he?” Tyler asked, going along with her.

She closed her eyes, trying to block out the distraught look on Tyler’s face. She grabbed it with both of her hands, unsure of what might comfort him as she broke the news.

“He’s at the animal hospital… he got hit by a car.”

“He got… what?”

Nicki let her hands fall from his shocked face. She had to look away as his eyes started to fill. One of them had to hold it together for Marshall’s sake, and it certainly wasn’t going to be him.

“Is, is he okay?”

“All I know is that he’s in surgery, and we have to get there right now. So just, put on your seatbelt, okay?”

She didn’t receive an answer, and didn’t expect to get one. After thrusting the car in reverse, she backed out of the driveway and onto the main street, praying that there weren’t any cops around. Speed limits were not a matter of concern for her just then. Her hand crept across the car and landed on Tyler’s knee, giving it a supportive squeeze.

All she could think about on the drive there was how scared Marshall must have been. He hated cars, and it perturbed her that he would have ended up close enough to one to get hit. She shuddered when she imagined him getting hit, and had to swallow the lump in her throat to make the rest of the trip.

After what seemed like an hour, they made it there, and Tyler hopped out of the car without bothering to open the door. Nicki was about to yell at him to be careful, but figured there wasn’t any use. She turned off the car and jogged up the front walk to the entrance.

Tyler was already at the front desk, speaking with who Nicki assumed to be Linda. She approached him slowly, afraid that he might be jumpy and on edge. Her arm snaked around his back, hoping that it might give him the smallest bit of comfort.

The woman looked at her and asked, “Are you Nicki?”

She nodded, and pulled Tyler a little closer to her. His face was stoic and cold, and she couldn’t help but notice how tragically beautiful he looked. There were very few occasions where she’d seen him truly upset, and the raw emotion that seeped from him was powerful and overwhelming.

“Unfortunately, no one has been out to see me yet. Which is good and bad. It means that your dog is hanging in there, but it also means that I have no time frame or information on injuries. You might be here all night,” she warned.

They were both silent, accepting her terms but having nothing to say about them.

“You can take a seat in the waiting area,” she said, pointing them down the narrow hallway. “The bathrooms are all the way down on the left, and there’s a room with snacks, water, and coffee on your right. If you need anything else, I’ll be here until midnight.”

Nicki glanced at the round clock above the desk. It was just past nine. She began to have relapses of the last time she’d been up all night at the vet waiting for Marshall. It had been one of the worst nights of her entire life. She looked at Tyler, who was deflated and weary. As much as she wanted him to stay with her, he needed to be home, in bed.

“Tyler, why don’t I drop you off at home? I’ll wait here.”

“I’m staying,” he muttered forcefully.

She led him down the hallway to the waiting room, where they could have some privacy.

“Babe, I know how badly you want to stay. But you have to be at Ristuccia at eight. You should already be asleep.”

“I can’t leave him. You know I won’t be able to sleep,” he said, stubborn as ever.

“Listen to me, Tyler,” she snapped, grabbing his face in her hands again. “I know it’s hard. But whether you stay or leave is not going to change the outcome. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen. It doesn’t matter if you’re here, depleting your energy or home, getting ready for a long day. It’s your job, Ty. You only have a few days left to show Claude you deserve to be alternate captain. You won’t be able to do that if you’re up all night at an animal hospital.”

His head hung low, and she knew that she’d gotten her point across. It took everything she had not to give in, to let him do what he wanted. But he wasn’t thinking clearly, and she needed to step up.

“Let me take you home,” she said softly, rubbing her thumb across his cheek.

She was answered with a subtle nod, and grabbed his hand as she led him back to the lobby.

“I’ll be right back,” she said to Linda as she opened the door, letting Tyler through first.

The short ride back was silent and uncomfortable. Nicki hoped that he wasn’t mad at her, but knew that she’d done the right thing. She told him to go upstairs before giving Dan a call to let him know they’d found Marshall, and to thank him again for his advice. She wouldn’t have located him without it. After inviting her and Tyler over for dinner, he let her go, and she walked cautiously through the house to their bedroom.

Tyler was sitting on the edge of the bed, head buried in his hands. Nicki knelt down in front of him, carefully removing his shoes and placing them behind her. She looked up at him, and was overcome with the urge to hold him. To tell him everything would be okay. She got him out of his shorts and watched as the treats she’d stuffed in his pocket spilled out across the floor.

“Come on,” she said, lifting the covers for him to get in.

Normally so strong and independent, Tyler was utterly broken. Nicki had never given any thought to what their lives would be like without Marshall. Surely it would be a sad existence. Besides each other, he was all they had. He was just as much a part of their family as they were.

Once he got into bed, she tucked in the comforter around him, not caring if it was childish. He didn’t seem to mind, and whenever he did it for her, it always gave her a sense of being taken care of. She found herself smiling as he settled in, squirming around until he was comfortable. Nicki ran a hand through his hair, playing with it just the way he liked.

“I’m staying until you fall asleep, okay?” she whispered.

A soft moan came from him, and she wasn’t sure if it was from her hand in his hair or if it was a response to her statement. He must have been more worn out than she’s previously assumed, as he was quietly snoring in a matter of minutes. After leaving a kiss on his forehead, Nicki slipped his phone from the back pocket of his shorts and adjusted his alarm before plugging it in to charge. There was a good chance she would still be sleeping at six thirty, and wanted to make sure he had everything in order for the morning.

Nicki packed a small bag, preparing to spend at least half of the night in the waiting room. She wandered into the kitchen and set out the toaster, the peanut butter, and a bagel. A mug was placed neatly underneath the Keurig and a K cup in the holster, awaiting a grouchy and half conscious Tyler. Once she was sure everything was where it needed to be, she grabbed her keys from the counter and ran out the front door.

** * * * *

“Are you Nicki?”

Nicki looked up from her book and removed her reading glasses to get a better look at the man in front of her. She had a hard time believing that the lanky man before her was a vet. He looked more like a marathon runner. A marathon runner hooked on crystal meth. She gave him the benefit of the doubt and attributed the strung out look to being up for hours straight, trying to save her dog’s life.

She stood and nodded her head. “Yeah, I’m Nicki.”

“Dr. Woods,” he said, reaching out a hand. She shook it, and was taken aback by the firmness of his grasp. “Well, I have great news for you. Your dog is going to be just fine.”

It felt like her legs were about to give out underneath her. “Oh, thank God.” She shook her head, the effects of sleeplessness were creeping up on her. “I mean, thank you.”

He nodded and began to explain Marshall’s injuries.

“He got very, very lucky. He escaped this whole fiasco with a broken leg and some internal bleeding. Stopping the bleeding proved to be quite the task, but we managed, and he’s already recovering. Nothing was ruptured, nothing severed or torn.”

“I’m so relieved,” she huffed, breathing normally of the first time in hours. “I don’t even know how he got loose. This whole thing has been a nightmare.”

“I’m sure it has,” he said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Which is why I’m happy to tell you that you can take him home tonight. Linda is still at the desk, she’ll give you everything you need to take care of him and make an appointment for a week from now so we can check on him.”

Nicki thanked him two more times and shook his hand again before stumbling out to the lobby. The four cups of coffee she’d had kept her awake, but didn’t do anything about her tired muscles. She was in a daze as Linda explained all of the necessary procedures they would have to go through; the different medications, keeping him off of his broken leg, caring for the stitches, it was all too much to take in at two thirty in the morning.

A different, bulkier doctor walked out of a room to her left, carrying an enormous green crate, with an unconscious Marshall inside.

“I can help you carry him to the car, if you’d like,” he offered.

Nicki accepted gratefully and took an armful of wax bags from Linda, containing Marshall’s medicine. It took some work to get the crate to fit in the backseat, and Nicki realized she didn’t have the slightest clue how she would be getting it out when she got home.

Before starting the car, she glanced back at Marshall. She couldn’t see him well due to the darkness and the low visibility of the crate itself, but it looked like he was on his side, still under from his surgery.

The trip home was painful and slow, as she had to make sure Marshall didn’t get tossed around in the backseat. She brought the bags into the house before she developed a game plan for the crate. It took her nearly twenty minutes to get it out of the car, and a few moments where she’d almost woken up Tyler and asked for his help.

But, by some grace of God, she got it into the house, without destroying or hurting anything or anyone. She decided to leave her car in the driveway, afraid she might not have the energy or focus to get it safely into the garage. Nicki placed the crate next to Marshall’s dog bed, in case he woke up and wanted out.

All she wanted to do was crawl in bed and curl up with Tyler, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave Marshall alone. When she walked away to find a blanket, she heard a muted whimpering from behind her. She turned on her heel and saw Marshall clawing his way out of the open crate and limping onto his dog bed. Nicki gave up on her search and sat on the floor with him, stroking his silky ears. At some point, sleep began to overtake her, and she slouched onto the ground, using the end of his dog bed as a pillow.

** * * * *

When Nicki woke up, she was blinded by the late morning sunlight. She felt around for Marshall, but soon realized that she was in bed. Tyler must have brought her up when he woke up for practice. She noticed that she was on his side of the bed, and pulled his pillow to her face, breathing in the scent she loved so much.

She lifted her head to look at the alarm clock, and gasped when she saw that it was almost noon. Nicki stretched out her limbs before sitting up, smirking as she noted that she was in her pajamas, instead of the clothes she’d fallen asleep in last night. For a moment, her heart swelled, unable to comprehend how she’d gotten so lucky as to find someone like him. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence by any means, but it never helped her to understand how someone could be so perfect for another person.

Inspired by his kind acts, Nicki found the confidence to venture into the bathroom and take a purple box from the medicine cabinet. She stared at it for a while before removing the test. She said a silent prayer as she took it, hoping with every ounce of faith she had that this would be the morning.

While she waited, she climbed back onto the bed and cuddled with Tyler’s pillow. She’d been brave to do it without the support of his arms around her, without the reassurance of his caring words and soothing lips. She began to regret not waiting for him to come home. What if it was positive? How would she tell him? Or if it was negative, what if she broke down? She despised how much she relied on him, but would be a fool to deny it.

She sucked in a breath as she got off of the bed, and walked warily back into the bathroom, where the threatening plastic test sat on the corner of the sink. As she approached it, she wanted to close her eyes. She wished she had someone there to tell her the result, so she wouldn’t have to see. The moment she caught a glimpse of pink, she fell to her knees.

A jubilant scream came from her mouth and she covered her face with her hands as the tears streamed down her face like a waterfall. She curled up on the tile floor and sobbed, unwilling to calm down. She let out everything; the fear, the doubts, the apprehension.

To be sure, she reached up to the sink and grabbed it. Instead of feeling foreboding, it felt welcoming. She glared at the pink plus sign, waiting for it to change or morph back into the blue dash she’d become so used to seeing every morning.

Nicki scrambled off of the floor and grabbed the rest of the tests, going through every one they had. She wasn’t about to leave any room for mistake. What if it had just been a faulty test?

She stood impatiently in the bathroom, pacing back and forth, waiting for them to expose her future. It felt strange to be at the mercy of such a little thing, but it was that little thing that brought such big news. One by one, they all revealed the same pink plus sign that the first one had.

After crying herself dry, Nicki realized that she had probably depleted all of her bodily fluids and walked in a daze to the kitchen, where she poured herself a tall glass of cold water. All of the sobbing had given her a headache, and she rummaged through the cabinets for Advil. She tapped the bottle until two small pills fell out into her hand. Wait. Could she take them?

Deciding not to take any risks, she tossed the pills onto the counter and chugged the rest of her water. Her mind was buzzing; she had so many questions and not nearly enough answers. She needed Tyler there with her, to help her calm down. Her eyes flickered shut and she pictured the way he breathed with her, one long breath in, and one long one out.

It worked, and her thoughts were quieted somewhat. The most important thing at that moment was Marshall. Nicki went to find him, figuring he probably hadn’t gotten off of his dog bed. She smiled when she saw that Tyler had moved his water and food into the living room, and had given him a bone, which he was happily tearing to shreds.

His tail wagged when he noticed that he had company, and he struggled to get up. Nicki ran over to him, shushing him and ordering him down. He did as she asked, and she sat with him, running her hands gently over his soft fur.

“Good boy,” she cooed, planting kiss after kiss on the top of his square head.

Marshall was by far the best dog she had ever met, even better than her own. She had no idea what they would do without him. Even when everything seemed to be going wrong, he was always there to make them laugh and cheer them up.

“I love you buddy,” she whispered, giving him one last kiss before pushing herself off of the floor.

She’d made a mental list of things that she needed to do, and the next task was to figure out how she was going to tell Tyler. Every bone in her body told her to call him that very second and scream through the phone, but she thought better of it. It needed to be in person, and she was certain the excitement wouldn’t be wearing off any time soon.

Nicki wandered back into the kitchen and stared out the window to the backyard, trying to concentrate. She didn’t want to say ‘How was your day, honey? Guess what? I’m pregnant!’. It wasn’t in her nature to be so blunt. Another glance around the kitchen gave her an idea.

** * * * *

Print.

Nicki looked to her left at the printer, which was slowly running out both ink and paper. It spewed out page after page covered with useful information about pregnancies. She’d spent the entire afternoon Googling, Binging, and WebMDing. She searched just about every women’s site on the internet, and printed everything she thought might be educational. There were a lot of things she would guess were myths and old wives tales, but she also found things like recipes for homemade baby food, a list of vitamins that pregnant women swore by, and a full nine month overview of what she might have to prepare herself for.

When she thought she heard the front door open, she held her breath.

“Nicki?”

There was no force in the galaxy strong enough to keep the smile off of her face. She got up slowly from the computer chair and inched out of the study, through the dining room, the kitchen, and into the foyer where Tyler stood, duffle bag in hand.

She walked briskly towards him and threw her arms around his neck, attempting to act normal. Her head pulled back just enough to connect her lips with his. She savored every second of the short hello kiss, confident that there would be many more to come.

“I like when you’re so happy to see me,” he said, matching her smile with one of his own. If he only knew why she was smiling… “Did you make a cake?” he asked, sniffing at the air.

“Yeah, it’s on the island.”

Tyler swept her off of her feet with another kiss, leaving her absolutely breathless.

“You are the best.”

Nicki bit down on her lip, anxiously awaiting his next move. When he didn’t do anything, she said, “Why don’t you go check it out?”

He raised an eyebrow, probably confused as to why she would want him to look at it. But it wasn’t past her to ask him something like that and he went along with it, dropping his heavy bag to the ground before walking past her towards the kitchen.

She followed a pace or two behind, giving him a little bit of space. She had no idea how he would react, and thought it might be best to watch from the doorway.

It would forever remain a mystery which he saw first; the cake that says “I’m pregnant” or the test she’d placed next to it.

Tyler turned slowly and asked, “Really?”

A laugh escaped Nicki’s lips, one filled with relief and joy and hope. “Really,” she said, feeling the tears brimming in her eyes once again.

He took two long strides towards her and locked his arms around her, burying his face in her hair.

“Really?” he asked again, coaxing another laugh from Nicki.

“Really, Ty. We’re having a baby.”

“Oh my God.”

“I know… I know,” she whispered, the sentimentality finally getting the best of her.

She squeezed her arms around his waist. There were still so many things that she wanted to say, but none of them seemed important enough to break up their embrace. She cried into his chest, and knew she would be trying to remove mascara stains when she did the laundry later that week.

Without warning, Tyler scooped her up and brought her into the living room, lying down on the couch with her still in his arms. Although they’d purchased a new couch and got rid of the old one, they made sure that it had the same L shape, so that they would still have “their spot”. It was where they retreated to when anything emotional happened, because so many things had taken place on it before.

Nicki got between his legs and sank back against his chest, and his hands moved instantly to her stomach. She could feel the love radiating from his touch, and hoped it could reach whatever miniscule thing was growing inside of her. It was going to be a damn lucky child to have Tyler for a father.

“I can’t believe it,” he said under his breath, dragging his fingertips across her skin. “Did you take that this morning?”

“Yeah, I did. It felt like the right time and I did it. It killed me to wait for you to come home.”

Tyler chuckled and left a few small kisses on her neck. “You made me an ‘I’m pregnant’ cake. Who the fuck does that?”

“I didn’t know what else to do!” she said, chuckling with him.

“Well I loved it. I was kind of hoping to hear you say it, though.”

“Okay, get up,” she ordered.

“What?”

“Get up and stand in the foyer next to your bag.”

He lifted her off of him before getting up, and the smirk on his face told her that he caught on to what she was doing. Nicki jogged into the kitchen and waited a minute for him to get to his bag.

“Nicki?”

She bit down on her tongue as she giggled, and jumped into his line of sight. As she got close enough she screamed, “I’m pregnant!”

“You’re pregnant?!” he yelled back, closing the space between them and bending down to wrap his arms around her thighs.

He lifted her up so that her head was above his, and she sent her lips crashing down to his. When she pulled away, she noticed that his eyes had glossed over.

“For once, I’m actually speechless,” he admitted.

“Me too. All day I thought about everything I wanted to say to you, and now none of them are making any sense.”

“I don’t want to talk,” he whispered, his eyes beckoning her back to his lips.

She gave in and kissed him, softly this time. It was evident by the way he kissed back that it was going to lead somewhere, and he cleared up any questions she may have had as he brought her up the stairs and into their bedroom.

** * * * *

“That was incredible,” Tyler said, rolling off of Nicki and pulling her to his chest.

She came easily and curled up around him, draping an arm over his stomach. He grabbed the hand that rested there and played with her fingers, and the rings that he had given her. Tyler had been adamant about not having sex during pregnancy, and was ready to fight about it until he was blue in the face. The second he saw the writing on the cake, he had the overwhelming drive to do exactly what he’d been against.

Tyler had never felt so emotional in his entire life, and he’d never even imagined it was possible to love anything as much as he loved Nicki just then. He loved her, and he already loved whatever was growing inside of her. It was overpowering and all consuming.

Although neither of them had much to say to each other, he did have a few pressing questions.

“So,” he started, not exactly wanting to bring it up just yet. “How do we tell our families?”

Nicki groaned and nestled her head closer to his neck. “I have to go to my OB-GYN to get it confirmed. If it’s okay with you, I want to wait until we find out for sure.”

“Wait, you’re not sure?” he asked, the fretfulness showing through his voice more than he would have liked.

“I’m pretty damn sure,” she said, giggling. “I took seven tests and they all said the same thing. It’s just something you have to do. I’ll call in the morning. Can you wait?”

He let himself relax, but the thought of finding out she wasn’t actually pregnant hung over his head like a dark cloud. He couldn’t think of anything more disappointing than that, and wasn’t sure if he would be able to handle it.

“I guess. I just feel like I need to tell someone.”

Tyler was just about ready to burst. He’d just received the most exciting news of his life, and couldn’t even tell anyone yet.

“Pick someone on the team,” she suggested, “Someone you can trust not to say anything.”

His mind went directly to Milan. He and Brittany didn’t tell anyone until she started to show; he of all people would understand.

“Are you gonna tell anyone?” he asked, feeling slightly comforted by the thought of being able to share it with someone.

“Well if you are, I’ll tell Lis.”

Tyler nodded his head. He figured she would be the first person Nicki told. For a long time, they laid in silence. He had expected to have so much to say to her, and now he had nothing. All he wanted to do was hold her, to feel her breath against his skin and her body against his. Tyler’s lips found her forehead, and lingered there until his eyes began to shut.

Behind his closed lids, he tried to picture himself as a father. He thought of Bella, and how natural their relationship had become. He thought of Danny, whose tiny fingers were an absolute wonder to him as they wrapped around his own. And he thought of what Nicki said, one short month ago. How she hoped they had a girl, and how he’d hoped she would be just like her mother. He imagined looking down into a tiny pair of the same chocolate brown eyes he loved, on the tiny face of a baby girl.

Of his baby girl.