Even The Score (on hold)

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I stared at the lit up screen of my iPhone. My eyes rereading the same text message as I pondered the idea; how exactly did I end up here?

I've got tickets waiting for you at the American Airlines Center... :)

Individual letters were stringed together to form those eleven words above. And no matter how many times I had seen each of them individually, I couldn't comprehend the meaning when they were strung together side by side in a single sentence.

Henrik was clearly playing offense in this scenario whereas my mind naturally shifted to defense. Excuse after excuse running through my brain, trying to muster up any logical reason to decline the invitation and put as much distance as possible between myself and the American Airlines Center. My finger hovered above the send button - my mind was screaming 'press send,' and my heart was too busy pounding in my chest to say anything at all. My hand interpreted the situation, and without thinking my hovering finger slammed down onto the screen: message saved to drafts.

It's hard not to want to root for him. On or off the ice he's as close to perfect as I have ever seen and it's inhumane the way he handles that kind of pressure. His pure talent and athleticism has captured every fan's heart from the start of his career, and if you're not a fan his tanned skin and prominent features are sure to win you over. If by some chance that falls short as well, I can guarantee his kindness and his class will have you awed in just a few short minutes.

Don't be fooled by his modesty, King Henrik absolutely knows all about his charm. It's behind every warm smile and of course those bright blue eyes that can melt you in just mere seconds. When Henrik Lundqvist wants you to do something he knows just how to work that pretty face to make you do it. I had fallen prisoner to these very qualities on multiple occasions. In fact, after shutting the double doors and leaving behind the warmth of the empty lobby, it had occurred to me that I had been unknowingly fooled once again.

The temperature change was anything but subtle. Into the holes of my ripped jeans and through the baggy material of my loosely fitted white tee, the frigid air encased my entire body causing me to shiver. I was thankful for my patterned wool scarf who's colors coordinated with the faded blue logo of the baseball cap that sat atop my head. I wrapped the warm fabric tightly around my body in place of the sweatshirt I had neglected to bring.

"Excuse me, you can't be in here." The sound of a distant voice echoed off of the white walls. "Doors are closed until six thirty."

My ears perked up at the sudden interruption to my thoughts. I turned my head slowly, squinting my inadequate vision to further investigate.

"So I've heard," my gaze settled in the direction of a faint dark grey suit at the bottom of the bleachers. I couldn't help the smile that tugged at the edges of my lips. "but this crazy guy from Sweden asked me to come tonight. Said it's for his birthday or something. "

Long legs quickly ascended the staircase that separated the different seating sections. Mine moved too, matching his pace as the distance between us began to fade.

"I like your hat," he grinned, stopping just inches away from me.

"This old thing?" he nodded in conformation. "It's just something I found in the back of my closet."

His shoulders shook slightly as he chuckled at my declaration. The smile on my face was spread across his as well and we took a moment of silence to reminisce together.

"So I get you this nice hat for your birthday but you show up empty handed for mine?" Henrik held his lips in a tight line, his jaw was clenched, but the sparkle in his eyes blew his cover. "I'm just kidding," and that smile he was holding back finally broke free.

It was in the moment of silence that followed that the element of excitement began to fade. Henrik's arms encircled around my torso and I was hit hard with emotions I've been burying for months. Losing the man you thought you loved is absolutely heart wrenching, but losing the man who took you under his wing when you needed him most - that's an entirely different and indescribable loss. I had him here with my arms mindlessly thrown around him and absolutely no intention of letting go. Neither of us spoke as we stood their in each other's arms, just enjoyed the few seconds of silence we had to take in the moment.

I could have stood in that position for the rest of my life. I would have too if not for the loud holler that echoed off the walls, causing me to jump back at least two feet.

"It gets a little rowdy in the locker room," he smiled sheepishly.
The metal material of the bleachers vibrated beneath my feet. This newly revealed information led me to believe it was the result of running water, and I smiled at the sensation I used to know so well back when I used to spend most of my days at MSG.
"You can come if you'd like, everyone should be dressed. And if they're not then I'll fund whatever therapy you need to get the image out of your head," he chuckled.

My first reaction was to sprint in the opposite direction. It was easy enough and the results seemed promising, but then I heard the echo of a familiar voice that haunted every thought I've ever had. I'm so proud of you Addie, and no matter how hard I tried I knew my feet would remain planted onto the ground, refusing to go anywhere but forward.

"What about Derick?" I mumbled, doing my best to keep up with his long strides as we descended the stairs.

He stopped short and I ran right into his back. He used his hands to steady me before he replied, "I'm sure I can get rid of him for an hour."
Long, slender fingers reached into his pocket to retrieve his iPhone. He typed away before pressing the button on the side that initiated the click that sounded as the screen went black.
"He's getting me pizza, perks of being injured," and with that we headed towards the opening underneath the bleachers.

I was surprised and mildly horrified at the sight of the familiar white walls and navy blue carpet. Walking along the halls ignited a nauseous feeling in my stomach and I had to fight any flashbacks of printed arrows taped to the walls that threatened to dictate my mind. I pushed Henrik's long body aside and although I didn't do much damage it was enough to move him over slightly so that I could take the lead and rush towards the nearest bathroom.

"Breathe prinsessa," he rested a comforting hand on my shoulder. I smiled at the nickname.
"It's going to be okay, just breathe."
I nodded in response, unable to get enough air passed my closing throat to form a coherent sentence.
"The bathrooms are over there if you need a minute."

My heart swelled when my gaze rested upon his pointing finger that directed me towards the bathroom. I imagine the distressed written across my face was a dead giveaway, but it was nice to ponder the idea that somebody knew me well enough to know exactly what I needed in times of trouble.

I hurried off in the indicated direction. Thoughts that I had tried so hard to shake off were now swirling around the conscious part of my brain. The nauseous feeling had found a home in the back of my throat and I feared of what could happen if I didn't get myself under control.
This is Dallas, not New York. I repeated those words over and over in hopes of putting some mental distance between the Garden and this place that almost seemed to be an exact copy. Dallas, I repeated once again. I had just about defeated the oncoming panic attack

My mind was dazed and I was still confused, but the slow reopening of my airway was soothing. I was taking deep, full breaths, fully enjoying my newly reintroduced feature when I was suddenly compressed between two hard surfaces that left me breathless once again.

I was greeted by the rough, scratchy surface of the carpet that hit me face first. The rest of my body followed and I could feel my skin being stripped by the uncomfortable material.

Sitting up slowly was step one. The bench next to me provided support, allowing me to grab onto the armrest to pull up my torso so that I was in sitting position. I felt the pain transfer from stinging patches of skin on my arms and legs to a burning sensation that started at the bridge of my nose and spread across the middle of my face.

"Addison!" I heard my favorite Swedish accent full of concern from down the hall.

My left hand clutched the area around my nose while I closed my right hand into a reassuring thumbs up. I could visibly see my best friend's shoulders relax but the look on his face remained unchanged.

"Here, I got you," another voice spoke before a hand wrapped around my waist to pull me up and another gripped my arm to steady me.
My two feet planted firmly on the ground and I was thankful for the stability of my knees after they had fought the ground and lost. I plopped down on the bench for a sense of security, as I was unable to determine how much at this point that my body could handle.
"Are you alright?"

I was. But then I looked up into the very concerned face of the Dallas Stars captain, and despite his broad shoulders and massive size I could see just a couple of feet behind him.

"Addison," the silent third party finally spoke. His voice was as cold and distant as the look on his face. I watched him over the shoulder of Jamie Benn and with the same intensity he stared back at me. There was so much I wanted to do, so much I wanted to say, but in that moment I was frozen, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I sat in silence as the staring contest continued between me, my ex boyfriend, and the fuck boy captain of the Dallas Stars. You better believe that this time I wouldn't hesitate to sprint out that door if the opportunity arose.
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Notes

i promised myself i was going to be good with updating but it's the third chapter and i've already broken that promise. to be fair the Rangers are stressing me out a good amount with Lundqvist being out (props to Talbot and Skapski for keeping us alive while he's recovering.) anyways, here's part one of chapter three.