Spending the day with Jamie simply relaxing and watching gossip girl was beyond amazing. He actually watched and paid attention; much to my surprise. I couldn't keep the smile off of my face; today was a great day.

I wish, however I could tell you I confessed my feelings to him. I wish I could tell you I kissed the shit out of him and that he felt the same. But, those were only wishes...

I was ecstatic when he kept his arm around my shoulder, keeping me close against his body for most of the day. I honestly felt like a couple; and I almost kissed him. Almost.

Honestly if his phone had not have gone off just as I was about to close the gap between us, we probably would have. After that, we kept a small distance between us, both of us wondering what the hell had just happened.

Did I imagine him wanting to kiss me just as badly as I wanted to kiss him? There was only one thing I could think to do; and that was to ask Tyler.

I knew he probably talked about me to him. Maybe he even told him if he likes me or not. I knew I should just man up and ask Jamie myself but this way, if I asked Ty, I could avoid the awkward rejection phase.

Jamie had left my place and headed over to do some stuff with the Stars PR guy. He'd be back in time for the start of the game; leaving me an hour or so to talk to Tyler.

I knocked nervously on the door to Jamie and Tyler's place. My heart was beating a million miles a minute; I was so nervous.

"Hales, youre early" Tyler opened the door, a surprised look on his face.

"I was hoping I could talk to you about something?" I blurted out nervously. He nodded, allowing me entrance to his place. I followed him to the kitchen, where he took a seat at the bar across from the seat I took.

"So, to what do I-" before he could even ask me why I was here, i interrupted him. I felt saying the words faster would make my embarrassment a lot less.

"I'm in love with Jamie"

He looked at me, and was silent for a moment. The longer he stayed silent, the more and more nervous I grew.

"Ty, say something please... Don't look at me like that" I pleaded, my heart racing in my chest. He got up from where he was sitting and stood in front of me, pulling me in for the biggest hug I had ever received from him.

"You have no idea how much I've wanted to hear you say that"

Now it was my turn to look at him with a blank expression.

"You what?" I managed to squeak out. Could this mean-

"Jamie's been in love with you forever" Tyler commented, looking a little guilty.

"He has?" I asked in a shocked whisper.

"We've been bugging him to ask you out for ages- oh my god he's going to be ecstatic!" Tyler smiled brightly.

"You can't say anything to him!" I told Tyler threateningly.

"What? Why not? This is kind of huge news" Tyler asked, confused.

"I don't want him to think this is a rebound from Derek or something" I mumbled. It was partially true; he could see it that way; but I knew I didn't. I knew for sure I had been feeling this way about him for awhile now; I just never owned up to it until now.

"Is it?" Tyler asked, arching an eyebrow in interest.

"Never, I'd never do that to Jamie" I near whispered. Just the sheer thought of hurting him tore me to pieces. "I think I've felt this way for awhile now; I've just been in denial for so long" I added with a heavy sigh. "I mean he's perfect- he's so sweet, funny, caring, always putting others ahead of himself..." I trailed off, my cheeks turning pink. "I'm sorry, I'm sure you don't want to hear all this mushy nonsense"

"Actually I don't mind" Tyler shrugged, a grin forming on his face. "Sometimes, well, all the time actually, itd be nice to know a girl likes us for us.. Not our job and money, you know?" He asked, and I nodded. "And I know with you you don't care about his money; you like him for him; and honestly I couldn't be happier for him"

"When did you become such a sap?" I teased lightly. He rolled his eyes, pulling me in for a side hug.

"I mean look at you- youre a damn hot paralegal who's smarter than anyone I've ever met- Jamie's a lucky guy" he told me honestly.

"So you think I'm hot, huh?" I asked with a wink, teasing him. He rolled his eyes again, scoffing jokingly.

"Is that all you got from that?" He huffed with a pout.

"No it's not" I shook my head, laughing. "Thanks Ty"

"Anything for my best friends girl" he winked.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves" I reminded him. I didn't know when I was going to be ready to confess to him my feelings. But what was my excuse? I didn't have one. Derek was gone and I was happy for that; and I had just found out he felt the same!

"What's holding you back?"

I pondered the question in my head some more before I told him my answer.

"If anything were to ever happen between us- and I lost him... I don't know what I'd do, Ty" I told him in a near whisper. "He's been my best friend for ages now- he's been my rock through everything... If something comes between us because I told him how I felt, I don't know what I'd ever do with myself. I can't lose him, Ty" it was my number one worst fear; losing Jamie. It was why I dumped Derek for him; I couldn't live without him.

"I'm sure he feels the same way" Tyler reasoned; and he was probably right. "But you can't live the rest of your life wondering if you should have told him"

"I know" I admitted in a soft voice.

"I mean, what happens when he gets a girl friend? Or brings home a puck bunny? Or-"

"Enough" I interrupted him. Those thoughts angered me and sent a surge of jealously through me.

"See what I mean? If you don't like it when I mention it, what happens when it's actually happening?" Fuck you Tyler for being right.

"Stop being right" I muttered softly.

"You can't keep this from him" Tyler offered up. I knew he was also right on that note.

"I will tell him... But after the playoffs"

"What? Why then?" Tyler asked confused.

"I don't know just- please?" I pleaded, for lack of something better to do.

"Fine" he finally sighed, agreeing. "But do you promise to tell him afterwards?" He asked, an arm slung around my shoulder.

"Tell me what?"

Oh fuck. We had been so wrapped up in our conversation I didn't even realize he had been standing there. Both Tyler and I immediately stopped talking, looking to earn other for some lie we could come up with. Jamie looked at the pair of us, a hurt and puzzled expression on his face.

"Did I- uh- interrupt something?" Jamie asked, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. Tyler looked down, realizing his arm was still around me; oh fuck. No. No. No. No.

"Oh god- uh- no, no- we were just talking" I managed to splutter out; fuck that was probably not helping my case any.

"How long were you standing there?" Tyler asked the question I had been dying to ask but couldn't manage to find my voice.

"Long enough" he answered back harshly. "Instead of waiting until after the playoffs, why won't you just tell me what's going on between you two right now?" He asked, his eyes showing signs of anger.

"Between us? Absolutely nothing" Tyler spoke up immediately. I nodded my head agreeing with him; there was no way I was going to get out of this without having to confess to him how I felt.

"I can promise you there's nothing going on between us, Jame" I assured him, taking a step away from him to try and prove my point.

"Then what are you hiding from me?" He asked, his eyes switching from anger to hurt.

This was my chance. I could tell him right now. I could look him in the eyes and say "Jamie, I'm in love with you; that's what I want to tell you". But could I bring myself to tell him? Absolutely not..

"I- I can't tell you" I managed to blurt out in a whisper. I couldn't tell you why I chose to hurt him even more with my answer.

"So all of a sudden Tyler's more trustworthy than me?" Jamie asked, the hurt evident in his voice.

"It's not that Jamie" I told him honestly; because there was nobody I trusted more in this world more than I trusted Jamie. "I trust you more than anyone" I decided to add for good measure. The look he was giving me was enough to make my stomach turn with nausea.

"Then why can't you tell me?" He asked, a little harshly. Again, I had another moment to tell him. I could have taken back my words and told him anyway. But of course, I was stupid; fucking stupid.

"I'm sorry Jamie" I whispered, barely being able to look him in the eye.

"Unbelievable" he muttered, the hurt evident in his voice. "And here I thought we were best friends" he spat harshly before walking past me abruptly and slamming his bedroom door shut.

"Don't" I warned Tyler, sensing he wanted to say something. I knew what he was going to tell me; and I knew he was right. I should have just grew a goddamn pair and told him how I fucking felt. But I was a chicken; a mother fucking chicken and I ended up hurting him because of it.

"Hales I'm sorry I didn't know he was standing there" he apologized with a sigh. "But-"

"I know I'm a fucking idiot, you don't have to tell me" I murmured, feeling the urge to cry. "I'm gonna go home, I'll see you later"

I didn't even wait to see what he had to say; I turned around and walked out; feeling like the worlds biggest idiot.

Notes