Overlooked

"I'm scared Joff. I don't know how to feel anymore. There was a time where I would have given up anything and everything for you to know how I feel. Melissa and Colby told me I was insane, that I needed to fess up to you how I felt. I told them I was crazy, I had fallen in love with my best friend. I couldn't. I'm not one to ruin relationships. After Luke and I starting dating I realized I could be happy with someone else. He was attentive, low key and appreciated me. I have no idea what happened last night. Cheating has always been a deal breaker for me. I don't think I could ever get over it." I said, pausing to finish off a beer.

"What I did, by coming back to you this morning was terrible. I was wrong. I'm so sorry. I was angry and hurt and trying to make myself feel better. I did it by using you though and that wasn't right. I'm glad you stopped me. I don't know if we have a future Lupes. I'm not even sure how I feel about your right now. I always viewed you as something I couldn't have. We make great best friends but I'm not sure that can even translate into a healthy relationship. I'm not that trophy wife type girl who is going to get my hair and nails done and wear designer clothes just to impress people. What you see is what you get with me. I don't know if you could handle that." I said, my voice shaking from the tension in the room.

"Wait so that is it? You think I'm all about hooking a trophy wife? You couldn't be more wrong. You should know. You taught me to set my goals higher. You are the one who told me I deserved better than Lena. I finally take your advice and now you aren't sure I can handle it. You are making zero sense right now." He said, clearly pissed off, staring at me with icy eyes. He leaned in towards me intently. "Let me just try this." He said as he leaned down and kissed me softly. I felt it from my lips to the pit of my stomach. It was warm and familiar as if it should been happening for a long time. "Now tell me you didn't feel it to Car. Tell me and I'll walk away now and never bring it up again. We can just go back to friends and ignore tonight ever happened.

My head was pounding and I was starting to panic. I didn't want to lose him, yet I wasn't sure I was ready to give him my heart and lose the hope of me and him if he screwed up. Lupes wasn't a faithful guy and I didn't think I could take that kind of heartbreak.

"I just need time to think about things Lupes. You being away for a few days will be good. Let me clear my head and really digest all of this. I just don't want to lose our friendship if a relationship doesn't work." I said, standing up.

He wrapped his big arms around me and held me for a minute before kissing me on the forehead. "I'll call you tomorrow once we land, ok pumpkin? I love you Car, and I promise I will be what you believe I can be." He said and I walked quietly from his place to the car.

I made it a block before I broke down in tears. I left Luke a text saying to call me when he got back so we could meet and talk. I dialed the only number I knew would help me. He picked on the third ring and I could barely talk I was sobbing so hard.

"Carly, where are you?" Army asked and I told him I was outside of Joff's.

"Can I come over for a few. I need someone to talk to." I asked and he told me to be careful driving.

He met me at the door with two beer bottles and ushered me into his living room. "So what happened baby doll?" He asked and I fell apart. He listened quietly while I told him about Luke's cheating and me going to Joff. He was quiet as I repeated the conversation Joff and I had tonight.
"So I have no idea what to do. What I wanted is there and I'm too afraid to reach out and grab it. I don't know what the hell to do Colby." I look at him for answers. He was wise beyond his years and was the most loving person I had ever met. Maybe he had the answers for me. Someone had to have them. I knew I didn't.

Notes

Thoughts.....