Miles Away

I told Danny I would try and find her. I had no idea where she would go this early in the morning. There weren't many people on the team she was still close to. In fact, the only two people I thought may be a possibility were Max and Andrej. I called Max and he answered right away. "Yeah, Richie, I have her. We are getting ready to eat breakfast at the diner across from the Cherry Hill Mall. Meet up with us."

I almost ran out the door, still in the sweatpants and t-shirt I had slept in. I added a hoodie to the mix as I waited for the cab.

Within twenty minutes, we pulled up to the diner. I paid the driver and walked in. Her and Max were seated at a booth drinking coffee. I slid myself in next to Raina and sighed. "Please don't do that to me ever again. I was freaked out when I noticed you were missing." She looked up and gave me a weak smile.

"Sorry baby, I figured Danny would look there first and I don't have it in me to fight with him right now."

Max winced at the word "baby". "Ok you two. You know that we have like huge problems here right. This is a terrible situation you two have. I hate to be the adult one about this, you know it isn't my style. You two really need to decide whether this is all worth it.

Raina looked up at Max. "I love him Max. I don't know how happened or how we got to this point but I am in love with him." She looked directly at me. " Somehow, somewhere along the way, I fell in love with my best friend. I don't know where we go from here Mike. I'm sorry for putting you through all of this. I don't have much to offer you, but I can give you my heart."

It was gut wrenching to hear her. I knew I loved her, heck up until a few hours ago, I would have killed to be with her. They say that everyone has someone out there for them, and I knew she was it for me. I've know it from the day I held her close to me, the doctor showing us the babies growing inside of her. It didn't matter that they weren't my creation, I knew I had to protect her from that day forward. And in protecting her, I knew what I had to do. My heart felt like it was snapping in two as it wholly disagreed with my decision.

"I think you need to go home Raina." She looked at me in surprise.

"I'm not going home Mike. I'm filing for divorce. I can't do this anymore. I can't be married to him and be in love with you. It isn't fair to Danny or to you." She looked suddenly resolved.

Max stood up and motioned for me to go outside. Once we got out there, he lost it on me. "What is going on Mike. One minute you want her, the next you don't. She is so damn messed up inside and you aren't helping. You waltz back into her life and tell her you love her and she finally gives in to her feelings and you tell her to go back to her husband. You are lucky we are in a public place right now because I would punch you right in the mouth. Stop playing games with her."

I was fuming. "You think I want to give her up. After two years of keeping feelings inside, you think I want to lose her? You are dead wrong Max. I wish I could scoop her up, take her to LA tomorrow and never let her go. This is killing me. It took everything in me to tell her that. Danny came to my hotel room this morning. She thinks he was cheating on her. In reality, he was hooked on painkillers and is getting help for it. So what do I do Max? The guy shows up and tells me she is the only thing that keeps him together, he didn't tell her because she already has the kids to worry about. I don't know what to do Max. I don't want to lose her."

He leaned against his car. "God, this just gets worse and worse. I am sorry bro. I didn't know. It explains a lot of what is going on with him. He is a mess. Probably since he stopped taking them. I'll tell you what, you are a better man than me. I am not sure that I would be able to do what you are doing right now. But I think you should let her decide. It is after all, her life. Explain that she should at least give Danny a chance to explain before she makes a decision."

"God, this sucks. I just can't put myself through all of this. I love her Max. I don't want to lose her. I feel for him, I really do. I just don't want to give her up even though I should."

"Bro, I'm sorry. She's a big girl. She is going to do what she wants to do. I just think we all need to let her decide. It her future, her time to figure out where she wants to be in life. I think you and I have spent so much time trying to take care of her it hurts to back away, but we need to. I'm going home. Go in and talk to her."

Max left and I went back into the diner. She was paying the bill. "Come on Mike, we can drive somewhere and talk."

We drove to a nearby park. "Ok, so what did you and Maxime talk about?" She asked.

"Listen, Danny showed at the hotel earlier. I don't think he suspected anything, he was just concerned because you didn't go home last night. We talked for a little bit and he let me know he has been having problems since last season. He has been hooked on painkillers since a few of those injuries last year. Apparently no one knows besides Riley and he has there for him while he has been getting help. He said he didn't want to put anymore on you since you already have the kids to worry about. He says he hasn't cheated on you though."

She looked annoyed. "Are you kidding me. All of this he has kept from me. Damn it I am so sick of everyone trying to protect me. I'm a grown woman, not some little child everyone feels the need to take care of. I have three children of my own. I think I am grown enough to make my own decisions."

"This is why I want you to go see him baby girl. He says you are the only person who makes him sane. I don't know what to do Rainy. You know I love you, maybe even enough to let you go."

"Stop trying to make my decisions for me Mike." I will go talk to him. Then, I am getting on a plane and going somewhere to think. I'll call you in a few days." She started the ignition.

"Raina, I promise I won't bother you, but please at least tell me where you will be." I asked, hoping she would at least do that much for me.

"I'm going to Pam and Jeff's. I know no one can chase me there and tell me how I should live my life. I need my girl. She will give me space to think."

I let her drop me off at the hotel. I gave her a kiss, wondering if it would be the last time I would ever feel her body against mine.

Notes

Thoughts ?