Love that We Deserve
VII
~“If you want something as bad as you want to breathe, then you can do it.”― Tyler Seguin ~
Tyler kept his eyes shut as his brain became clouded with thoughts of Magdalena. Here they were, sitting in the hallway of her apartment, sleeping. Well...’pretending’ to sleep in Tyler’s case. He felt Magdalena’s fingers run through his hair and massage his scalp. A smile crept on his face, but it took a lot from him to stop it. She smelt like vanilla, just like always and it helped take away from the aches that he had felt deep inside him throughout all this time. He felt her fingers from her other hand against his arm which caused him to wince surprisingly and Tyler held his breath, in fear that she would know that he was conscious of her actions. All he could think about was her lips against his own for the second time and it felt so alleviating. The way she stood before him practically vulnerable to him and how she demanded him to kiss her; it moved him to know that all this time she wanted it to.
Tyler felt Magdalena’s body grow limp from above him. He had been laying flat on his stomach with his head on her lap as she had her back on the wall and her legs crossed. It always baffled him how she could sleep in any position, without complication. It was a strange talent of hers. Soon, Tyler’s eyelids would get heavy and he would be caught up in a deep sleep of his own.
Magdalena’s eyes flickered open and she still felt the weight of Tyler on her lap. Within her peripheral vision she noticed her apartment door was shut. Her gaze tiredly moved back down to Tyler who was still sound asleep, breathing through his nose and his torso slowly rising up and down as he inhaled and exhaled. There was a kink in Magdalena’s neck from her awkward position against the wall and it prevented her from looking towards the right. Magdalena began to trace her finger along Tyler’s tattoo’s. She noted that he had gotten bigger compared to the summer, and he clearly added to his tattoo collection and his entire left arm was covered in tattoos. Looking at Tyler’s new tattoos reminded Magdalena of how much time they spent away from each other. She didn’t understand the story behind any of the new tattoos and a slight feeling of guilt sat in the pit of her stomach. As she glanced up his arm to look at the tattoos that she knew about, and memories flashed in her mind of when she first met him, bare armed and only one tattoo ran down the back of his left tricep and how he had gotten the ‘heart’ on his sleeve.
Tyler awoke to the feeling of wet drops on his arm and looked up to see Magdalena quietly sobbing. He pulled his arm away and sat up quickly, wrapping his arms around Magdalena. He kissed her forehead and started to play with her hair.
“I’m sorry Magdalena, please stop crying, I hate seeing you like this,” Tyler muttered to her. Magdalena gently pushed herself away from Tyler and looked at him, wiping her tears away.
“I feel like I don’t know you anymore,”
“To be honest Meg, I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing right now,” Tyler chuckled. Magdalena laughed softly and ran her fingers through her hair. “You’re going to have to be more clear, I can’t read minds, you know,” Tyler grinned bringing his face in close to hers.
“There’s just so much I don’t know about, like your new tattoos for example,”
“I know, it was weird not being able to tell you about them,” Tyler sighed. “And I know I’ve said this a billion times, but I need you to know this: those things that I said about us, ‘not happening’, I never meant them, I just said it...I just said it because I wanted to hurt you. I know that’s no excuse but I was selfish, and I’m sorry that I lashed out at you that night..You’ve always made me feel so odd, I’ve never understood it, so I always just ran from it.”
“Wow..” Magdalena raised her eyebrows and couldn’t help the ends of her lips from rising and forming a smile.
“I missed you so much Meg,” Magdalena had no words for Tyler. She looked at him, something that they had been doing all too much now. She tried her hardest to imagine Tyler ‘missing’ her, whatever that meant. Her heart longed for him and it was so badly wounded from his words that she winced at the mere thought of them. She felt Tyler’s hands on her back once more and his lips on her exposed collarbone. “I’ll do anything you ask,” Tylers words muffled as he spoke. Magdalena persisted with her silence. Still unsure of what to say. Tylers phone then went off ringing causing all the hairs on Magdalena’s body to shoot straight up, alarmed at the loud sound so early in the morning.Tyler slipped away from her and stood up. She watched him with sore eyes as he walked away on the phone. She wanted him so bad. Everything was so slow between them, so delicate. She didn’t want to say the wrong thing, and he didn’t want to do anything wrong. Magdalena stood up, her knees cracking from sitting for so long and watched Tyler come back from his short stroll.
“Team breakfast, I have to go. But I will call you.” Tyler said as he grabbed her hands and kissed the back of both of them. Tyler looked then at her with sad eyes and gave her a timid smile. “See you,” His voice cracked.
“Bye,” Magdalena softly said as Tyler walked over to where the elevator doors were. She watched the elevator swallow Tyler up and he was gone again. She finally let every emotion take her over and broke down for the millionth time.
“I’m so sick of this,” She cried out to herself.
January flew by in a blink of an eye for Tyler, he had just turned twenty-two and his friends from both Boston and Ontario had come down to celebrate and visit him in his new home. The Dallas stars had won four out of fifteen games throughout the month, but managed to rake up their points. They were still doing pretty well so far, it was evident that the changes in their organization had been working. General Manager Jim Nill and Coach Lindy Ruff were doing an exceptional job for the team. Lindy had received news that he would be assistant coach for Team Canada for the Olympics in Sochi, Russia.
The Olympics were just around the corner and since Tyler hadn’t been invited to play with the team, he had other plans; he was going to Cabo with his buddies for the ‘Olympic Break’. He, and the rest of the players in the NHL who weren’t on the Olympic teams had ten days off and the vast majority of them were going to take full advantage of it. Tyler was ecstatic for his friend to be playing and couldn’t wait to watch him and proudly cheer him as well as his home country team on.
Tyler and Magdalena had only spoken twice over the phone since their unexpected encounter. The first was a short vague three minute conversation and the second was Magdalena wishing Tyler a happy birthday, and that was it. January had been a hectic month for the two of them. Tyler was either travelling or playing a hockey, he had very little time to spare. Whereas Magdalena had crunched in her last couple shoots before she headed back to Boston. Her portfolio had improved but she still hadn’t finished it. Her agent informed her that doors had now been opened for her in LA and Magdalena hoped that an opportunity would present itself, and once it did, she would grab it.
Magdalena’s birthday was in a few days and she was turning twenty-one. She went back to Alaska to spend her birthday there, as well as visit her grandmother, who had been ill for the past couple months.
“Kochanie, you want more pierogi?” Magdalena’s mother, Adriana asked trying to get Magdalena to look away from her cell phone. Magdalena only nodded and her eyes remained glued to her phone as she continued texting her friends. Just as she was about to respond to a text, her phone froze and Tyler’s name came up, calling her. Magdalena smiled awkwardly at her family, sitting at the dinner table and stood up to answer the phone.
“Hey Tyler,”
“Hey Meg, just wanted to say Hi, we finally got a break,” Tyler laughed.
“Oh,”
“Did you already leave New York?”
“Yeah, but I’m not in Boston,”
“Don’t tell me you’re in Dallas,” Tyler smirked with a slight spark of hope.
“I’m in Alaska, visiting the fam,” Magdalena responded.
“How long are you there for?”
“I’m not sure...my Babcia’s been sick for a while,”
“Babsha means grandma right?” Tyler inquired, butchering the word ‘babcia’ in his attempt of pronouncing it, causing Magdalena to laugh.
“Yeah,”
“Oh I’m sorry Meg, I hope she get’s better, you know I’m here for you if you need anything,” Magdalena was there for Tyler when his grandmother passed away, so to Tyler, he felt that he had owed her that much, more even because she was always there for him.
“Thanks,” Magdalena let out a laugh, nervously. Hope. Magdalena needed every single strand of it at the moment; she did her best everyday to keep her composure but she knew that it was coming, she was going to lose her grandmother. A woman who she looked up to and went to for advice; someone who she cherished and loved so much-she was going to lose her. Magdalena couldn’t imagine a world without her grandmother, let alone her own mother. Magdalena knew there was no hiding from what was coming and couldn’t imagine the pain that her mother was going through watching their Babcia slowly fade away in front of them.
“How’s the modelling?” Tyler sighed, trying to trail away from such a depressing topic.
“Good,” Magdalena responded. Tyler sucked in a sharp breath, clenched his jaw and brought his lips to a tight close. After everything he said, or tried to do, Magdalena still wouldn’t let him back into her life. Her short responses and the silence that was always between them was beginning to aggravate her. Could she not see that he was trying? He’d do anything for her in a heartbeat if she wanted him to, no questions asked.
“So is there anything new?”
Without saying a word Magdalena hung up. Tyler rolled his eyes and tossed his phone face down on his bed at the resort in Cabo. She could be so cold, it was like he didn’t know her anymore, but he was willing to spend the time to, he had become dangerously obsessed with Magdalena, not a day went by where he hadn’t thought about her, and their kiss. A kiss was supposed to make everything better, but looking back, that feeling of relief that he thought he had was actually the venom running through his veins and he had gotten a high from it, but now he was crashing, and everything started to get worse. The pain he was feeling before couldn’t compare to this. Another thing was that he feared closure, he was afraid that once Magdalena got a sense of it, she would drop him. She would move on; he would no longer linger in her thoughts or her heart. Although it pained him to see her suffer and know that she was still upset with him, he loved that she at least felt something for him.
Magdalena dropped her phone on the carpeted floor at the sound of her mother crying out. She ran out to the family room and witnessed her mother pacing around the room as her father tried to calm her down. Magdalena rushed towards her mother and wrapped her arms tightly around her mom. It wasn’t long until her younger sister Olivia ran over to do the same. Magdalena’s dad sat down on the one seater and set his head in his hands, in frustration. Her brother came rushing in not a minute later to see what the commotion was about and stopped in his trail when he saw his mother shaking and crying. It was killing their family watching their mom, their rock fall apart in front of them. Magdalena looked over her mother’s shoulder and looked at her father who had taken a seat next to her grandfather.
Did her dear Babcia just.. die?
Somehow, Magdalena’s father, Cesar, had read her mind and nodded sadly. Magdalena buried her head in her mom’s shoulder and began to weep. It was all too much, everything felt so heavy and Magdalena couldn’t hold herself up. Another set of arms suddenly joined the group hug, and it was Sam, Magdalena’s brother. Soon, they were all on the couch, each with their hand on their mom as she continued to cry and whimper out prayers. They had all lost a piece of their heart that afternoon.
After finding out what happened with Magdalena’s grandmother, something possessed Tyler into booking a flight and flying nearly four thousand miles to where Magdalena was. His buddies watched as he sloppily packed his bags and fled to the airport, there were no questions asked. They all knew that Tyler was at his breaking point and would do anything for Magdalena.
Magdalena's head rested on Tyler shoulder and the entire cabin was silent, except for the sniffles that Magdalena would make every now and then. Tyler breathed slowly making sure that he wouldn't make a sound or cause Magdalena to move. He felt her fingers run down his neck and he looked down to meet her eyes staring at him. They glistened with sadness and Tyler could only feel sorry for her.
"Please don't leave me," She whispered. Tyler's heart jumped as she said so and he blinked fast, unsure if she actually just said that.
“I won’t,”
Magdalena's shifted upwards and wrapped her arms around his neck and she brought her face near his own. Her cold fingers sent a chill down Tyler's spine and her hot breath made his blood boil. Magdelena then sat on his lap and folded her legs next to his legs. She shut her eyes and placed her forehead against his own. She took in a deep breath and opened her eyes and saw Tyler's looking down at her, sincerely. She noticed Tyler's chest rising up and down rapidly and placed her right hand against it, comforting him. They sat like that for a while, soaking up the moment.
Feeling spontaneous and in despair, Magdalena leaned in and gently placed her lips onto Tyler's, which molded perfectly with her own. The kiss was soft and quick and as Magdalena pulled away Tyler's eyes blinked open, in shock. Kissing Magdalena was something he had not gotten used to. He placed his large hands against her folded legs and looked at Magdalena, anticipating what she was going to do next.
"Tyler.." Magdalena whimpered. Tyler's pants grew tight with the sound of her voice like that, but he pushed those thoughts away immediately; she was in a time of need, and mourning- sex would have been totally inappropriate. Magdalena pushed her pelvis upwards causing Tyler to gasp and she grabbed his face and kissed him, and once more Tyler could feel everything that she was giving him. His hands moved up and down her waist and he breathed hard out of his nose. He gently squeezed her waist and began to kiss back, trying to take control.
Words could not describe what Tyler and Magdalena were feeling in their hearts. It was too much for them both, it was incredible how they were capable of surviving all the misery and suffering for all this time. Tyler for one had hit rock bottom and was working his way back up, and Magdalena’s life was just spiraling downwards, getting worse and worse, or so she felt. They needed one another right here, right now.
The kiss began to shift from compassionate to hungry and vicious. Magdalena began to tug at Tyler’s shirt and Tyler finally pulled away, stopping her. She was panting and looked at Tyler confused. Magdalena reached for him again and this time Tyler grabbed both her arms in one hand and furrowed his eyebrows at her, both confused and agitated, and shook his head at her. Magdalena went limp in his arms, giving up, and began to cry again, defeated.
“Meg,” Tyler wrapped his arms around her and kissed her temple, comforting her. “Don’t say anything, I just want you to listen, okay?” Magdalena nodded. “I know it might seem like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, but I promise you, and trust me when I say this, you’ll get through this, and I’m not leaving your side until you do,” Tyler said softly, in that tone that he only used with Magdalena. No one else knew of that voice but her, and she loved that. “I’ll be right here, beside you,”.
At that very instant Magdalena felt a burst of desire for Tyler. She had never needed him-let alone anyone so much more than at this second. Magdalena lifted her head from Tyler’s chest and kissed him so much more passionately than she has ever kissed anything in her life. Magdalena practically tackled Tyler down on the bed and deepened the kiss as she tightened her grip on his face.
“Tyler, I need you..” She said breathlessly. Tyler looked up at her, she was still sitting on top of him. He needed her as well. But was this the right time? Tyler looked at Magdalena seriously, clenching his jaw shut in frustration at his conflictions. “I need you right now,” She whispered as her eyes traced his shirt from his chest to the hemline. She began to play with it until she finally built up the courage to actual slide it up. Tyler stopped her midway and ended up removing the shirt himself. He sat up and give Magdalena a peck on the lips.
“Are you sure you want to do this Meg?” Tyler was well aware of the situation she was in. Her grandmother had just passed away, and her relationship with her maybe current boyfriend was falling apart. Magdalena placed her forehead against his and nodded.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything,”
“Meg, you said you wanted your first time to be spe-” Magdalena yet again began to kiss Tyler once more. She didn’t want to hear another word for him, she just wanted him as close to her as possible. Magdalena pulled away and peeled off her shirt, and Tyler’s entire body was overtaken by lust when she did so. His heart began to beat harder than before and he grabbed her face to kiss her. Magdalena moaned in the kiss, which caused Tyler’s crotch to get tighter and he was sure that she could feel himself get harder beneath her. As their kiss deepened Tyler felt Magdalena’s nimble fingers against the button of his jeans and his eyes popped open. He pulled away from her and rubbed his hands down her goosebumped arms, calming her and signaled for her to get off of him. He removed his jeans and sat back down on the bed, and pulled Magdalena in.
Soon they were both completely undressed and Magdalena was underneath Tyler now, every pulse in her body was pounding as her heart pumped more and more blood to her arteries. Tyler hovered over her and pulled away from her once more. He looked into her blue orbs and indulged in her flawless face. It was clear of any blemishes and so soft and mesmerizing. He already had mental pictures of her bare body and they flashed in his mind like a movie, something he would never forget. She didn’t have that Kim K bod that he and his friends praised, the one with the large ass and tits. Instead she was small and had breasts that were just under a handful, her stomach, Tyler’s favourite part of her, was flat and had perfect definitions along it. Her fair skin felt so creamy against his own.
Tyler’s breathing began to slow down and he began to lower himself to her. “You sure?” Tyler asked and Magdalena nodded assuringly. Tyler leaned in to give her a peck and grabbed himself to align with her opening. Tyler then slowly pushed himself inside of Magdalena and felt her wince and let out a gasp. Immediately he pulled away and asked if she was okay. Magdalena nodded and reassured him that she was fine.
“Kiss me if it hurts,” He whispered in her ear. He didn’t want to hurt her, she was so fragile, like a flower, as corny as it sounded. His movements were slow and he began to pick up the pace while Magdalena let out deep breaths as he got deeper within her. She reached up to his face and began to kiss him, hard, like her life depended on it.Tyler shut his eyes hard as he felt her tightly clenched around him and couldn’t control himself enough to continue kissing her. He pulled away and propped himself up off his elbows and onto his hands and began to thrust even harder. His head drooped back and his mouth dropped open on this ecstasy high he was on. Tyler’s hands then slipped under Magdalena and he sat up, with her face to face to him. Both their motions became slow and relaxing, and Magdalena closed her eyes to enjoy it all, despite the initial pain.
“Meg... “ Tyler grunted. “I love you..” He breathed out. But Magdalena was too caught up on her own high to notice what Tyler had just confessed to her.
It wasn’t the normal loud, crazy, sex that people usually expected. It was quiet. Passionate. Relaxing. Loving. Both Magdalena and Tyler would let out pants, or gasps for air as the rode each other to their climaxes. Tyler could tell that Magdalena was nearing her own when her eyes kept fluttering and her movements began to slow down. He laid her back down on her back, except her knees were still up. Tyler began to thrust at a decent pace, hoping to bring her floating over the edge.
“Look at me when you get there,” Tyler breathed out. He wanted to see her at her highest peak, it was a sight he never wanted to forget.
Magdalena’s eyes remained shut until Tyler hit the spot that sent her much higher than cloud 9 at this point. She shot her eyes open and arched her back as her first orgasm struck her and she became frantic.
“Ty..” She moaned out softly as she clutched onto his back.
Tyler watched as she crumbled beneath him and the feeling of every contraction around him made him realize that she was real, this was all real. Magdalena dropped her hands and grabbed onto the sheets. Tyler grabbed her hand as it uncontrollably trembled and watched as she lost control. All that escaped from Magdalenas mouth were gasps for air throughout the entire ride. Tyler’s own orgasm began to hit him and he bent over to kiss her neck, he couldn’t handle looking at her anymore. Tyler squeezed her hand and rode her until he finally came down, hard, sending him to places he had never been before. It was total out of body experience for Tyler.
Overwhelmed by it all Tyler laid on top of her and stopped his movements, his eyes had begun to water and he buried his head deep in the crook of her neck. Magdalena ran her fingers through his hair and could feel her own salty tears running down her face. Tyler rolled off of her and laid next to her. Magdalena rolled over so that she was facing him and noticed that he too, was crying. She cupped her hands against his face and tried to laugh through her heavy breathing, she still hadn’t come down from her high. Tyler grabbed her hands and moved them down to his left chest and squeezed them. Magdalena watched his movements and kept her eyes at his chest. His heart was pounding like crazy and Magdalena’s eyes finally went back up to meet his own and saw the contorted sadness in his face.
“I love you... so much,” Tyler choked, shutting his eyes and allowing more tears to stream down his face. “How do you do this to me?” Tyler laughed. Magdalena’s eyes squinted slightly as a big smile spread across her face.
“I love you, Ty” Magdalena said, her voice just below a whisper. She searched his eyes and smiled even more. Tyler had managed to lift her spirits up, she was able to forget every single problem in her life and he gave her a brand new experience. He had taken away all the aches, and pain in her life and had somehow mended some of the pieces that had been broken months ago. For that she was going to be forever thankful for him.
Tyler pulled Magdalena closer him and kissed the top of her head. Both of their bodies were sweaty and radiating heat. Magdalena hummed and shut her eyes, letting Tyler's presence sink in. Tyler wrapped his arms around her bare back and placed his chin above her head.
"Please don't leave me," Tyler echoed what Magdalena had said to him earlier. He meant it; he didn't know what he'd do if she left him again.
“You know...the first time we came here, my whole plan was to sleep with you right?” Tyler chuckled while he and Magdalena sat on the couch watching the fireplace. His arm was wrapped above her shoulder and her head laid on his ribs, right under his chest. “Funny, a few years later, I actually got to,”
“What stopped you before?”
“You did.” Tyler said. Magdalena sat up and looked at him oddly. She didn’t recall herself ever telling him ‘no’. “When you told me you were a virgin, I mean at first I was like ‘hell yeah!’ you know? But then you started to go on about how you wanted sex to mean something. You said you wanted your first to be special, to have value. Right when you said that I just knew, that I wasn’t that someone..” Tyler looked at Magdalena whose eyes were welling up. “And then I told myself I’d be your second or something you know?” Tyler laughed and Magdalena playfully slapped him, and wiped the tear that had come down.
“You really remember that?”
“Of course. I also remember you being a huge tease!”
“I wasn’t being a tease! You have no idea how nervous you made me back then, if anything you were the tease.” Magdalena defended nudging Tyler.
“I made you nervous!?” Tyler exclaimed pointing to himself. “You were the one who was always prancing around in your bathing suit and underwear like it was nothing. You know I’m a guy! you’re a smart girl,”
“Yeah but compared to the other girls you were always with, I didn’t think I stood a chance. I never thought you even looked at me that way until now,”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Tyler shot a glare at Magdalena, slightly offended by what she had just said.
“They were always so pretty, and-”
“Stop right there. I’m so sick of hearing everyone talk about whatever kind of preference I have for women’.-”
“I-I wasn’t-”
“No, I’m not done. There’s a difference between them and you and I’ll admit, they’re super hot, attractive, call them whatever you want. But at the end of the day they didn’t stick around for long. They’re nice girls, but not my type. I’m young, I still don’t know what I want and what I don’t want. But I do know one thing for sure, I need you. I”ve said it a thousand times, and I’m going to say it a thousand times more. I. Need. You.”
Magdalena sighed and opened her mouth to respond but was then again cut off.
“And ‘looked at you that way’?” Tyler hissed. “What..? Like a piece of meat or something? If that’s what you’re implying then no I will never see you like that. Don’t you dare compare yourself to those other girls.” Tyler cupped her neck and kissed Magdalena preventing her from saying anything.
Magdalena wasn’t the ‘insecure’ type, but when it came to Tyler- suddenly she had all of the insecurities in the world. Her nose was too small, or her eyes were too big, or her face wasn’t totally symmetrical, you name it, and that’s how she felt around Tyler.
“So tell me, what has the great ‘Tyler Seguin’ been up to these days?” Magdalena laughed.
“Besides having an unreal season? Uhm...nothing really” Tyler smirked.
“Nothing new?” Magdalena gave him a devilish grin.
“Nope, what about yourself?”
“Just the possibility of modelling in LA, no big deal or anything” Magdalena shrugged as she bragged. Tyler gave her an impressed frown and raised his eyebrows.
“Oh is that so?”
“Mhm..”
“Well did I mention that I started a foundation for Derrek?” Tyler didn’t want to boast, but it was more of him showing to Magdalena how much he had changed.
“Really!?” Magdalena shrieked. “Tell me about it!”
“Yeah, you know how I said I wanted to before? When I was on the plane to Dallas it kind of popped into my head, I figured, since I got traded, I might as well make the best of it and that’s how I did it. It’s called Seguin Stars and I contributed one of the suites in the Airlines Centre for our supporters who have similar disabilities to Derrek. The best part of the entire thing is: after a game, I get to meet all of them and see how much they love hockey and they’re so great, it always takes my mind off the game and makes me feel a lot better, regardless of a win or a loss,” Tyler stopped talking when he heard Magdalena let out a sniffle. He looked down at her and saw that she had been crying. “Why are you crying?” He laughed.
“Its just...you just...I know how much the accident got to you and I’m so proud of you,” Magdalena laughed as she wiped the tears away. Tyler smiled at Magdalena and lifted her chin up and helped wipe a few more tears away before planting a kiss on her lips.
"I hate seeing you cry, I die every time you do," Tyler sighed.
"They're happy tears Ty!"
"I know, I know. But every time before...I can't say sorry enough, I don't know how I can make it up to you, I was a jerk."
"People make mistakes, it's a part of life"
"Hurting you was the biggest mistake that I ever made. Those months that we spent not speaking to each other were hell."
"Maybe the space was supposed to help us figure out how much we needed each other."
"I didn't have to be away from you to know how badly I needed you.”
Tyler kept his eyes shut as his brain became clouded with thoughts of Magdalena. Here they were, sitting in the hallway of her apartment, sleeping. Well...’pretending’ to sleep in Tyler’s case. He felt Magdalena’s fingers run through his hair and massage his scalp. A smile crept on his face, but it took a lot from him to stop it. She smelt like vanilla, just like always and it helped take away from the aches that he had felt deep inside him throughout all this time. He felt her fingers from her other hand against his arm which caused him to wince surprisingly and Tyler held his breath, in fear that she would know that he was conscious of her actions. All he could think about was her lips against his own for the second time and it felt so alleviating. The way she stood before him practically vulnerable to him and how she demanded him to kiss her; it moved him to know that all this time she wanted it to.
Tyler felt Magdalena’s body grow limp from above him. He had been laying flat on his stomach with his head on her lap as she had her back on the wall and her legs crossed. It always baffled him how she could sleep in any position, without complication. It was a strange talent of hers. Soon, Tyler’s eyelids would get heavy and he would be caught up in a deep sleep of his own.
Magdalena’s eyes flickered open and she still felt the weight of Tyler on her lap. Within her peripheral vision she noticed her apartment door was shut. Her gaze tiredly moved back down to Tyler who was still sound asleep, breathing through his nose and his torso slowly rising up and down as he inhaled and exhaled. There was a kink in Magdalena’s neck from her awkward position against the wall and it prevented her from looking towards the right. Magdalena began to trace her finger along Tyler’s tattoo’s. She noted that he had gotten bigger compared to the summer, and he clearly added to his tattoo collection and his entire left arm was covered in tattoos. Looking at Tyler’s new tattoos reminded Magdalena of how much time they spent away from each other. She didn’t understand the story behind any of the new tattoos and a slight feeling of guilt sat in the pit of her stomach. As she glanced up his arm to look at the tattoos that she knew about, and memories flashed in her mind of when she first met him, bare armed and only one tattoo ran down the back of his left tricep and how he had gotten the ‘heart’ on his sleeve.
Tyler awoke to the feeling of wet drops on his arm and looked up to see Magdalena quietly sobbing. He pulled his arm away and sat up quickly, wrapping his arms around Magdalena. He kissed her forehead and started to play with her hair.
“I’m sorry Magdalena, please stop crying, I hate seeing you like this,” Tyler muttered to her. Magdalena gently pushed herself away from Tyler and looked at him, wiping her tears away.
“I feel like I don’t know you anymore,”
“To be honest Meg, I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing right now,” Tyler chuckled. Magdalena laughed softly and ran her fingers through her hair. “You’re going to have to be more clear, I can’t read minds, you know,” Tyler grinned bringing his face in close to hers.
“There’s just so much I don’t know about, like your new tattoos for example,”
“I know, it was weird not being able to tell you about them,” Tyler sighed. “And I know I’ve said this a billion times, but I need you to know this: those things that I said about us, ‘not happening’, I never meant them, I just said it...I just said it because I wanted to hurt you. I know that’s no excuse but I was selfish, and I’m sorry that I lashed out at you that night..You’ve always made me feel so odd, I’ve never understood it, so I always just ran from it.”
“Wow..” Magdalena raised her eyebrows and couldn’t help the ends of her lips from rising and forming a smile.
“I missed you so much Meg,” Magdalena had no words for Tyler. She looked at him, something that they had been doing all too much now. She tried her hardest to imagine Tyler ‘missing’ her, whatever that meant. Her heart longed for him and it was so badly wounded from his words that she winced at the mere thought of them. She felt Tyler’s hands on her back once more and his lips on her exposed collarbone. “I’ll do anything you ask,” Tylers words muffled as he spoke. Magdalena persisted with her silence. Still unsure of what to say. Tylers phone then went off ringing causing all the hairs on Magdalena’s body to shoot straight up, alarmed at the loud sound so early in the morning.Tyler slipped away from her and stood up. She watched him with sore eyes as he walked away on the phone. She wanted him so bad. Everything was so slow between them, so delicate. She didn’t want to say the wrong thing, and he didn’t want to do anything wrong. Magdalena stood up, her knees cracking from sitting for so long and watched Tyler come back from his short stroll.
“Team breakfast, I have to go. But I will call you.” Tyler said as he grabbed her hands and kissed the back of both of them. Tyler looked then at her with sad eyes and gave her a timid smile. “See you,” His voice cracked.
“Bye,” Magdalena softly said as Tyler walked over to where the elevator doors were. She watched the elevator swallow Tyler up and he was gone again. She finally let every emotion take her over and broke down for the millionth time.
“I’m so sick of this,” She cried out to herself.
January flew by in a blink of an eye for Tyler, he had just turned twenty-two and his friends from both Boston and Ontario had come down to celebrate and visit him in his new home. The Dallas stars had won four out of fifteen games throughout the month, but managed to rake up their points. They were still doing pretty well so far, it was evident that the changes in their organization had been working. General Manager Jim Nill and Coach Lindy Ruff were doing an exceptional job for the team. Lindy had received news that he would be assistant coach for Team Canada for the Olympics in Sochi, Russia.
The Olympics were just around the corner and since Tyler hadn’t been invited to play with the team, he had other plans; he was going to Cabo with his buddies for the ‘Olympic Break’. He, and the rest of the players in the NHL who weren’t on the Olympic teams had ten days off and the vast majority of them were going to take full advantage of it. Tyler was ecstatic for his friend to be playing and couldn’t wait to watch him and proudly cheer him as well as his home country team on.
Tyler and Magdalena had only spoken twice over the phone since their unexpected encounter. The first was a short vague three minute conversation and the second was Magdalena wishing Tyler a happy birthday, and that was it. January had been a hectic month for the two of them. Tyler was either travelling or playing a hockey, he had very little time to spare. Whereas Magdalena had crunched in her last couple shoots before she headed back to Boston. Her portfolio had improved but she still hadn’t finished it. Her agent informed her that doors had now been opened for her in LA and Magdalena hoped that an opportunity would present itself, and once it did, she would grab it.
Magdalena’s birthday was in a few days and she was turning twenty-one. She went back to Alaska to spend her birthday there, as well as visit her grandmother, who had been ill for the past couple months.
“Kochanie, you want more pierogi?” Magdalena’s mother, Adriana asked trying to get Magdalena to look away from her cell phone. Magdalena only nodded and her eyes remained glued to her phone as she continued texting her friends. Just as she was about to respond to a text, her phone froze and Tyler’s name came up, calling her. Magdalena smiled awkwardly at her family, sitting at the dinner table and stood up to answer the phone.
“Hey Tyler,”
“Hey Meg, just wanted to say Hi, we finally got a break,” Tyler laughed.
“Oh,”
“Did you already leave New York?”
“Yeah, but I’m not in Boston,”
“Don’t tell me you’re in Dallas,” Tyler smirked with a slight spark of hope.
“I’m in Alaska, visiting the fam,” Magdalena responded.
“How long are you there for?”
“I’m not sure...my Babcia’s been sick for a while,”
“Babsha means grandma right?” Tyler inquired, butchering the word ‘babcia’ in his attempt of pronouncing it, causing Magdalena to laugh.
“Yeah,”
“Oh I’m sorry Meg, I hope she get’s better, you know I’m here for you if you need anything,” Magdalena was there for Tyler when his grandmother passed away, so to Tyler, he felt that he had owed her that much, more even because she was always there for him.
“Thanks,” Magdalena let out a laugh, nervously. Hope. Magdalena needed every single strand of it at the moment; she did her best everyday to keep her composure but she knew that it was coming, she was going to lose her grandmother. A woman who she looked up to and went to for advice; someone who she cherished and loved so much-she was going to lose her. Magdalena couldn’t imagine a world without her grandmother, let alone her own mother. Magdalena knew there was no hiding from what was coming and couldn’t imagine the pain that her mother was going through watching their Babcia slowly fade away in front of them.
“How’s the modelling?” Tyler sighed, trying to trail away from such a depressing topic.
“Good,” Magdalena responded. Tyler sucked in a sharp breath, clenched his jaw and brought his lips to a tight close. After everything he said, or tried to do, Magdalena still wouldn’t let him back into her life. Her short responses and the silence that was always between them was beginning to aggravate her. Could she not see that he was trying? He’d do anything for her in a heartbeat if she wanted him to, no questions asked.
“So is there anything new?”
Without saying a word Magdalena hung up. Tyler rolled his eyes and tossed his phone face down on his bed at the resort in Cabo. She could be so cold, it was like he didn’t know her anymore, but he was willing to spend the time to, he had become dangerously obsessed with Magdalena, not a day went by where he hadn’t thought about her, and their kiss. A kiss was supposed to make everything better, but looking back, that feeling of relief that he thought he had was actually the venom running through his veins and he had gotten a high from it, but now he was crashing, and everything started to get worse. The pain he was feeling before couldn’t compare to this. Another thing was that he feared closure, he was afraid that once Magdalena got a sense of it, she would drop him. She would move on; he would no longer linger in her thoughts or her heart. Although it pained him to see her suffer and know that she was still upset with him, he loved that she at least felt something for him.
Magdalena dropped her phone on the carpeted floor at the sound of her mother crying out. She ran out to the family room and witnessed her mother pacing around the room as her father tried to calm her down. Magdalena rushed towards her mother and wrapped her arms tightly around her mom. It wasn’t long until her younger sister Olivia ran over to do the same. Magdalena’s dad sat down on the one seater and set his head in his hands, in frustration. Her brother came rushing in not a minute later to see what the commotion was about and stopped in his trail when he saw his mother shaking and crying. It was killing their family watching their mom, their rock fall apart in front of them. Magdalena looked over her mother’s shoulder and looked at her father who had taken a seat next to her grandfather.
Did her dear Babcia just.. die?
Somehow, Magdalena’s father, Cesar, had read her mind and nodded sadly. Magdalena buried her head in her mom’s shoulder and began to weep. It was all too much, everything felt so heavy and Magdalena couldn’t hold herself up. Another set of arms suddenly joined the group hug, and it was Sam, Magdalena’s brother. Soon, they were all on the couch, each with their hand on their mom as she continued to cry and whimper out prayers. They had all lost a piece of their heart that afternoon.
After finding out what happened with Magdalena’s grandmother, something possessed Tyler into booking a flight and flying nearly four thousand miles to where Magdalena was. His buddies watched as he sloppily packed his bags and fled to the airport, there were no questions asked. They all knew that Tyler was at his breaking point and would do anything for Magdalena.
Magdalena's head rested on Tyler shoulder and the entire cabin was silent, except for the sniffles that Magdalena would make every now and then. Tyler breathed slowly making sure that he wouldn't make a sound or cause Magdalena to move. He felt her fingers run down his neck and he looked down to meet her eyes staring at him. They glistened with sadness and Tyler could only feel sorry for her.
"Please don't leave me," She whispered. Tyler's heart jumped as she said so and he blinked fast, unsure if she actually just said that.
“I won’t,”
Magdalena's shifted upwards and wrapped her arms around his neck and she brought her face near his own. Her cold fingers sent a chill down Tyler's spine and her hot breath made his blood boil. Magdelena then sat on his lap and folded her legs next to his legs. She shut her eyes and placed her forehead against his own. She took in a deep breath and opened her eyes and saw Tyler's looking down at her, sincerely. She noticed Tyler's chest rising up and down rapidly and placed her right hand against it, comforting him. They sat like that for a while, soaking up the moment.
Feeling spontaneous and in despair, Magdalena leaned in and gently placed her lips onto Tyler's, which molded perfectly with her own. The kiss was soft and quick and as Magdalena pulled away Tyler's eyes blinked open, in shock. Kissing Magdalena was something he had not gotten used to. He placed his large hands against her folded legs and looked at Magdalena, anticipating what she was going to do next.
"Tyler.." Magdalena whimpered. Tyler's pants grew tight with the sound of her voice like that, but he pushed those thoughts away immediately; she was in a time of need, and mourning- sex would have been totally inappropriate. Magdalena pushed her pelvis upwards causing Tyler to gasp and she grabbed his face and kissed him, and once more Tyler could feel everything that she was giving him. His hands moved up and down her waist and he breathed hard out of his nose. He gently squeezed her waist and began to kiss back, trying to take control.
Words could not describe what Tyler and Magdalena were feeling in their hearts. It was too much for them both, it was incredible how they were capable of surviving all the misery and suffering for all this time. Tyler for one had hit rock bottom and was working his way back up, and Magdalena’s life was just spiraling downwards, getting worse and worse, or so she felt. They needed one another right here, right now.
The kiss began to shift from compassionate to hungry and vicious. Magdalena began to tug at Tyler’s shirt and Tyler finally pulled away, stopping her. She was panting and looked at Tyler confused. Magdalena reached for him again and this time Tyler grabbed both her arms in one hand and furrowed his eyebrows at her, both confused and agitated, and shook his head at her. Magdalena went limp in his arms, giving up, and began to cry again, defeated.
“Meg,” Tyler wrapped his arms around her and kissed her temple, comforting her. “Don’t say anything, I just want you to listen, okay?” Magdalena nodded. “I know it might seem like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, but I promise you, and trust me when I say this, you’ll get through this, and I’m not leaving your side until you do,” Tyler said softly, in that tone that he only used with Magdalena. No one else knew of that voice but her, and she loved that. “I’ll be right here, beside you,”.
At that very instant Magdalena felt a burst of desire for Tyler. She had never needed him-let alone anyone so much more than at this second. Magdalena lifted her head from Tyler’s chest and kissed him so much more passionately than she has ever kissed anything in her life. Magdalena practically tackled Tyler down on the bed and deepened the kiss as she tightened her grip on his face.
“Tyler, I need you..” She said breathlessly. Tyler looked up at her, she was still sitting on top of him. He needed her as well. But was this the right time? Tyler looked at Magdalena seriously, clenching his jaw shut in frustration at his conflictions. “I need you right now,” She whispered as her eyes traced his shirt from his chest to the hemline. She began to play with it until she finally built up the courage to actual slide it up. Tyler stopped her midway and ended up removing the shirt himself. He sat up and give Magdalena a peck on the lips.
“Are you sure you want to do this Meg?” Tyler was well aware of the situation she was in. Her grandmother had just passed away, and her relationship with her maybe current boyfriend was falling apart. Magdalena placed her forehead against his and nodded.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything,”
“Meg, you said you wanted your first time to be spe-” Magdalena yet again began to kiss Tyler once more. She didn’t want to hear another word for him, she just wanted him as close to her as possible. Magdalena pulled away and peeled off her shirt, and Tyler’s entire body was overtaken by lust when she did so. His heart began to beat harder than before and he grabbed her face to kiss her. Magdalena moaned in the kiss, which caused Tyler’s crotch to get tighter and he was sure that she could feel himself get harder beneath her. As their kiss deepened Tyler felt Magdalena’s nimble fingers against the button of his jeans and his eyes popped open. He pulled away from her and rubbed his hands down her goosebumped arms, calming her and signaled for her to get off of him. He removed his jeans and sat back down on the bed, and pulled Magdalena in.
Soon they were both completely undressed and Magdalena was underneath Tyler now, every pulse in her body was pounding as her heart pumped more and more blood to her arteries. Tyler hovered over her and pulled away from her once more. He looked into her blue orbs and indulged in her flawless face. It was clear of any blemishes and so soft and mesmerizing. He already had mental pictures of her bare body and they flashed in his mind like a movie, something he would never forget. She didn’t have that Kim K bod that he and his friends praised, the one with the large ass and tits. Instead she was small and had breasts that were just under a handful, her stomach, Tyler’s favourite part of her, was flat and had perfect definitions along it. Her fair skin felt so creamy against his own.
Tyler’s breathing began to slow down and he began to lower himself to her. “You sure?” Tyler asked and Magdalena nodded assuringly. Tyler leaned in to give her a peck and grabbed himself to align with her opening. Tyler then slowly pushed himself inside of Magdalena and felt her wince and let out a gasp. Immediately he pulled away and asked if she was okay. Magdalena nodded and reassured him that she was fine.
“Kiss me if it hurts,” He whispered in her ear. He didn’t want to hurt her, she was so fragile, like a flower, as corny as it sounded. His movements were slow and he began to pick up the pace while Magdalena let out deep breaths as he got deeper within her. She reached up to his face and began to kiss him, hard, like her life depended on it.Tyler shut his eyes hard as he felt her tightly clenched around him and couldn’t control himself enough to continue kissing her. He pulled away and propped himself up off his elbows and onto his hands and began to thrust even harder. His head drooped back and his mouth dropped open on this ecstasy high he was on. Tyler’s hands then slipped under Magdalena and he sat up, with her face to face to him. Both their motions became slow and relaxing, and Magdalena closed her eyes to enjoy it all, despite the initial pain.
“Meg... “ Tyler grunted. “I love you..” He breathed out. But Magdalena was too caught up on her own high to notice what Tyler had just confessed to her.
It wasn’t the normal loud, crazy, sex that people usually expected. It was quiet. Passionate. Relaxing. Loving. Both Magdalena and Tyler would let out pants, or gasps for air as the rode each other to their climaxes. Tyler could tell that Magdalena was nearing her own when her eyes kept fluttering and her movements began to slow down. He laid her back down on her back, except her knees were still up. Tyler began to thrust at a decent pace, hoping to bring her floating over the edge.
“Look at me when you get there,” Tyler breathed out. He wanted to see her at her highest peak, it was a sight he never wanted to forget.
Magdalena’s eyes remained shut until Tyler hit the spot that sent her much higher than cloud 9 at this point. She shot her eyes open and arched her back as her first orgasm struck her and she became frantic.
“Ty..” She moaned out softly as she clutched onto his back.
Tyler watched as she crumbled beneath him and the feeling of every contraction around him made him realize that she was real, this was all real. Magdalena dropped her hands and grabbed onto the sheets. Tyler grabbed her hand as it uncontrollably trembled and watched as she lost control. All that escaped from Magdalenas mouth were gasps for air throughout the entire ride. Tyler’s own orgasm began to hit him and he bent over to kiss her neck, he couldn’t handle looking at her anymore. Tyler squeezed her hand and rode her until he finally came down, hard, sending him to places he had never been before. It was total out of body experience for Tyler.
Overwhelmed by it all Tyler laid on top of her and stopped his movements, his eyes had begun to water and he buried his head deep in the crook of her neck. Magdalena ran her fingers through his hair and could feel her own salty tears running down her face. Tyler rolled off of her and laid next to her. Magdalena rolled over so that she was facing him and noticed that he too, was crying. She cupped her hands against his face and tried to laugh through her heavy breathing, she still hadn’t come down from her high. Tyler grabbed her hands and moved them down to his left chest and squeezed them. Magdalena watched his movements and kept her eyes at his chest. His heart was pounding like crazy and Magdalena’s eyes finally went back up to meet his own and saw the contorted sadness in his face.
“I love you... so much,” Tyler choked, shutting his eyes and allowing more tears to stream down his face. “How do you do this to me?” Tyler laughed. Magdalena’s eyes squinted slightly as a big smile spread across her face.
“I love you, Ty” Magdalena said, her voice just below a whisper. She searched his eyes and smiled even more. Tyler had managed to lift her spirits up, she was able to forget every single problem in her life and he gave her a brand new experience. He had taken away all the aches, and pain in her life and had somehow mended some of the pieces that had been broken months ago. For that she was going to be forever thankful for him.
Tyler pulled Magdalena closer him and kissed the top of her head. Both of their bodies were sweaty and radiating heat. Magdalena hummed and shut her eyes, letting Tyler's presence sink in. Tyler wrapped his arms around her bare back and placed his chin above her head.
"Please don't leave me," Tyler echoed what Magdalena had said to him earlier. He meant it; he didn't know what he'd do if she left him again.
“You know...the first time we came here, my whole plan was to sleep with you right?” Tyler chuckled while he and Magdalena sat on the couch watching the fireplace. His arm was wrapped above her shoulder and her head laid on his ribs, right under his chest. “Funny, a few years later, I actually got to,”
“What stopped you before?”
“You did.” Tyler said. Magdalena sat up and looked at him oddly. She didn’t recall herself ever telling him ‘no’. “When you told me you were a virgin, I mean at first I was like ‘hell yeah!’ you know? But then you started to go on about how you wanted sex to mean something. You said you wanted your first to be special, to have value. Right when you said that I just knew, that I wasn’t that someone..” Tyler looked at Magdalena whose eyes were welling up. “And then I told myself I’d be your second or something you know?” Tyler laughed and Magdalena playfully slapped him, and wiped the tear that had come down.
“You really remember that?”
“Of course. I also remember you being a huge tease!”
“I wasn’t being a tease! You have no idea how nervous you made me back then, if anything you were the tease.” Magdalena defended nudging Tyler.
“I made you nervous!?” Tyler exclaimed pointing to himself. “You were the one who was always prancing around in your bathing suit and underwear like it was nothing. You know I’m a guy! you’re a smart girl,”
“Yeah but compared to the other girls you were always with, I didn’t think I stood a chance. I never thought you even looked at me that way until now,”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Tyler shot a glare at Magdalena, slightly offended by what she had just said.
“They were always so pretty, and-”
“Stop right there. I’m so sick of hearing everyone talk about whatever kind of preference I have for women’.-”
“I-I wasn’t-”
“No, I’m not done. There’s a difference between them and you and I’ll admit, they’re super hot, attractive, call them whatever you want. But at the end of the day they didn’t stick around for long. They’re nice girls, but not my type. I’m young, I still don’t know what I want and what I don’t want. But I do know one thing for sure, I need you. I”ve said it a thousand times, and I’m going to say it a thousand times more. I. Need. You.”
Magdalena sighed and opened her mouth to respond but was then again cut off.
“And ‘looked at you that way’?” Tyler hissed. “What..? Like a piece of meat or something? If that’s what you’re implying then no I will never see you like that. Don’t you dare compare yourself to those other girls.” Tyler cupped her neck and kissed Magdalena preventing her from saying anything.
Magdalena wasn’t the ‘insecure’ type, but when it came to Tyler- suddenly she had all of the insecurities in the world. Her nose was too small, or her eyes were too big, or her face wasn’t totally symmetrical, you name it, and that’s how she felt around Tyler.
“So tell me, what has the great ‘Tyler Seguin’ been up to these days?” Magdalena laughed.
“Besides having an unreal season? Uhm...nothing really” Tyler smirked.
“Nothing new?” Magdalena gave him a devilish grin.
“Nope, what about yourself?”
“Just the possibility of modelling in LA, no big deal or anything” Magdalena shrugged as she bragged. Tyler gave her an impressed frown and raised his eyebrows.
“Oh is that so?”
“Mhm..”
“Well did I mention that I started a foundation for Derrek?” Tyler didn’t want to boast, but it was more of him showing to Magdalena how much he had changed.
“Really!?” Magdalena shrieked. “Tell me about it!”
“Yeah, you know how I said I wanted to before? When I was on the plane to Dallas it kind of popped into my head, I figured, since I got traded, I might as well make the best of it and that’s how I did it. It’s called Seguin Stars and I contributed one of the suites in the Airlines Centre for our supporters who have similar disabilities to Derrek. The best part of the entire thing is: after a game, I get to meet all of them and see how much they love hockey and they’re so great, it always takes my mind off the game and makes me feel a lot better, regardless of a win or a loss,” Tyler stopped talking when he heard Magdalena let out a sniffle. He looked down at her and saw that she had been crying. “Why are you crying?” He laughed.
“Its just...you just...I know how much the accident got to you and I’m so proud of you,” Magdalena laughed as she wiped the tears away. Tyler smiled at Magdalena and lifted her chin up and helped wipe a few more tears away before planting a kiss on her lips.
"I hate seeing you cry, I die every time you do," Tyler sighed.
"They're happy tears Ty!"
"I know, I know. But every time before...I can't say sorry enough, I don't know how I can make it up to you, I was a jerk."
"People make mistakes, it's a part of life"
"Hurting you was the biggest mistake that I ever made. Those months that we spent not speaking to each other were hell."
"Maybe the space was supposed to help us figure out how much we needed each other."
"I didn't have to be away from you to know how badly I needed you.”
Please update soon!!!
11/12/15