One Night is All it Takes

I sat in Patricks gray room under his sleek black sheets. I turned over, out of his grasp, and checked my phone. 6:25. There was no going to sleep now. I turned back and looked at Patrick one more time before getting out of the bed.

His face was so young. Him and I were the same age, actually he was a couple months older, but still he looked like he should have a long life of fun before settling down with a baby. This was totally unfair to him.

I stood up from the bed and all of a sudden felt freezing. I didn't realize how warm it was under the bed next to his hot body. I walked over to his walk in closet and turned on the flickering light. I grabbed the first sweatshirt I could find- a winter classic 88 sweatshirt, grabbed my phone quietly before going out into the living room so Patrick could get some more sleep.

I took a seat and thought about telling my family. I couldn't tell my family until this was 100% legit that I was indeed pregnant. What would a person who wanted a baby do next? A doctor's appointment, I assumed, was what a couple would do next. I quickly looked up the name of my OBGYN which opened and 6 and called the number.

"Hi, I'm a client of your practice, and I believe I am pregnant." I whispered into the phone, trying to keep it together.

"Sure your name please?" A woman answered back.

"Charlotte Riese. I was wondering if you have a opening for a..an.."

"Ultrasound?"

When she says it like that, it all sounds so official. "Yes, i'm sorry. This was kind of a surprise so I'm kinda new to all this.

"That's not a problem. I actually have an opening for 4 today, someone canceled last minute, if not the next appointment that is open is this upcoming Friday."

"No no today is good- thank you so much."

"Sure, how many people should I put down on the reservation- just so I know the room size that you would need."

I started tearing up at that- would Patrick want to go? I did not even ask him about this. "Uh, one? Two maybe? Sorry again."

"I'll put you down for two alright?"

"Ok, thank you" I murmured into the phone and hung up.

I walked over to the big windows and looked out onto the city. The view Patrick had was incredible. I also started going over the pros and cons of adoption and keeping the baby.

Pro for adoption: goes to loving parents that want a baby so bad
Con of adoption: I would have a baby out there in the world that I won't know what happened to

Pro for keeping the baby: I get to watch my son or daughter grow up. With or without Patrick.
Con: I was not in a position to welcome a baby into the world yet- my debt from culinary school, the bakery, the apartment. The apartment! Patrick offered for me to stay here, but I don't want to make him throw away his life because of me. This was all too much.

I also thought about the Pros and cons of living at Patrick's apartment.

Pro: A huge apartment that has more than enough space for a baby, plus a bedroom for me.
Con: Patrick said I could date, does that mean he will as well? Will my son or daughter wake up every morning and see a girl walk out of their dad's room? That can't be healthy for a baby.

I didn't even realize that Patrick had woken up and came out until the living room until he wrapped his arms around me while I was still looking out the huge windows. He looked me in the eyes and gave a small smile.

"Enjoying the view?" I nodded. "So am I." He said, not looking outside- but right at my face.

I cleared my throat and shrugged him off my shoulders before those blue eyes could force me to do anything else that was not a smart move.

I walked over to the couch and sat down and he did the same.

I broke the silence, telling him my plans at 4. "I called my OBGYN, they have an opening for 4 for an ultrasound. You don't have to go."

He took in a sharp breath. "Wow. It all seems so real now, doctors and everything." He smiled at me, obviously trying to make something very serious a little bit lighter. "I do have a practice from 1-4 but I can probably leave a little early. I will be there Charlotte." He took my hand and looked in my eyes.

"Thank you." I looked down at my feet.

"Now.. food? Breakfast?" He looked at me, trying to get some sort of emotion from my face. There wasn't anything to read. "Charlotte what."

"Patrick i'm having a child ok, sorry if i'm not jumping up and down every time you talk to me because Patrick Kane talked to me."

"There's something else that you're upset about. You have never gave a shit who I was, i'm not dumb. Just tell me why you're upset or what you're thinking about."

I sat there for a minute, thinking about my son or daughter eating their cereal before school with some trashy puck bunny from the night before that their daddy brought home. "If I choose to live here..." I could see his face start to light up, "...I'm not saying I am. Will our son or daughter be friends with the sluts, I mean girls, you bring home every night. They are gonna go to school and see their friends' parents pick them up and then come home to this- whatever this is. What i'm saying is that I can't be here with a baby if girls are coming in and out of this apartment like you did to me and dozens of other girls you picked up at clubs or bars or wherever."

"If you choose to stay here- no more clubs or bars or whatever. I will stop. Completely. That is how much I want this to work. I wanna be here with the baby and you and if that means not going to clubs and bars and not having sex every night of the week then so be it." He looked at me. "Please Charlotte."

"Why are you so keen on wanting to keep the baby Pat? You are gonna miss the girls and clubs, and you still have so many years left, why do you want to do this so much that you are willing to turn your world upside down when it doesn't need to?"

He sat there for a minute, twiddling his thumbs. He opened his mouth, then stopped, then opened, "If I am being completely honest, I look at some of the guys on the team, like Brent, who have kids and they run into their dads arms every night after a game and then walk off with his family and I feel jealous. Jealous, sad, embarrassed, that I waste my nights at bars and clubs while these guys are having the same amount of fun if not more- just by sitting at home with their kids. I go to bars and am a womanizer because that's how I deal with it I guess. But now, you're here and that must mean something- and I don't want to let that go so easy."

At this point tears were streaming down Patricks face and mine. I gave him a huge hug and sobbed while he did the same. As I was nuzzled into his neck I gasped out a word between my short, wet sobs. "Yes."

He pulled me away from his body. "What?" He whispered, tears still streaming down his cheeks.

"Yes, i'll do it, and move in. Yes." Patrick smiled so big, it was almost blinding.

He hugged me stood up and swirled me around, "Thank you Charlotte. Thank you." He smiled and I rested my head on his shoulder.

There was no way he could have made that up on the spot. At this point I gave him so many outs of me keeping the baby or even staying at his house, and he took none of them- just kept begging me to stay. When he told me the reason why he went to clubs I could see the hurt in his eyes, and I knew it was not fake whatsoever. This was worth a try. And at that moment, I was happy, that this baby would have two parents that would love him or her. Not necessarily love each other, but love the baby. And that's what is important.

Notes