Behind the Glass
Chapter One.
{ 8 Years Later - After the 2014 Playoffs }
"Are you sure you wanna move up there and take the job in Chicago Rae?" My best friend, Jamie Benn, asked me. Shortly after I finished school, I came down to Dallas, Texas and took a job with the Dallas Stars as a trainer. It's always been a dream of mine to work closely with the players and be close to the game, even if that meant working close to Jonathan.
I sigh and look at Jamie, who features were filled with concern. "Jay I'm 24 years old now. I'm a big girl I can handle this, especially if it means I have to deal with Jonathan. Working with the Hawks has been a dream of mine for the longest time. I have to do this." I said, mostly to try and reassure myself, but also to reassure Jamie. He just nods and pulls me into his signature bear hug. "Just please don't forget about me." I hear him whisper, which breaks my heart. I rest my chin on his chest so I'm looking up at him. "How could I forget my favorite teddy bear?" I ask jokingly, causing Jay to smile and squeeze me tighter.
~~~~~~
It's been two weeks since I left Dallas, and today was the day I'm finally gonna meet the Chicago Blackhawks. I'm going to spend the next couple of days meeting with the guys and looking over their work out plans. As I'm packing my gym bag, I hear my phone ring with an all familiar ringtone.
"Ty, what's up?" I ask my friend, Tyler Seguin. He's been calling me nonstop and making sure everything is alright with me since I first got here.
"I just wanted to say hi and wish you luck before going in for your first day!" He said sweetly, knowing that it'll make me feel a little better.
"Thanks Ty! It's even worse than when I first met you guys. At least I went into that job with a clean slate and not knowing anyone." I said. I began picking up all my stuff, and heading out the door.
"Yeah I know what you mean, I just don't want you to go and get yourself hurt while you're up there okay?" Tyler said, concern laced in his voice. Ever since Tyler and I first met, he's had this overwhelming need to protect me, and I always thought it was sweet. People like Tyler are the kind you keep around forever.
"Aw Ty! I promise I'll keep myself safe and come back to you in one piece, okay?" I reassured him.
"Please do. I don't know what I'd do with myself if my baby girl got hurt." He said, half jokingly and half serious. This caused me to smile, while I was currently driving down the street down to the rink. The drive was shorter than I originally thought, so I had to hang up.
"Well Ty Bear, I'll call you back after I finish with the guys." I said, not actually wanting to hang up but knowing I had to.
"Okay baby girl I'll talk to you later! Now don't go falling in love with any Hawks!" He joked.
"My heart belongs to you Ty! Bye!" I said, and right before I hang up I hear him say a faint goodbye.
I hesitantly knock on Coach Q's door, and here a mumble to come in. He smiles at me, and stands to shake my hand.
"You're Raegan Matthews, our new trainer right?" He asks, and I simply nod. "I'm here to do my evals for the guys today and look over their plans, if that's okay with you?" I say, almost too quickly. "Well most of the guys are here, so just pull them one at a time as needed." He said. I nodded, and walked out to my office space. I had been here a couple of times over the past two weeks to get all of my stuff settled and learn the layout.
Once I get into my office, I pull a roster and head into the locker room to go pull some guys. I knew all of the guys were dressed because Q was in there giving them some type of update on what was going on.
"Today you guys are going to be meeting with our new trainer, Miss Raegan Matthews. I expect you to treat her with respect and listen to what she has to tell you." Q said sharply. I take this as my queue to walk in, and I'm met with everyone's eyes, especially Jonathan's. I couldn't help but blush, knowing after 8 years, that this was the way I was being reintroduced into his life. I looked down at my list, and his named happened to be first. I cleared my throat, and stood tall.
"Jonathan Toews, you're up first." I said, confidence laced in my voice. The boys all called out as I walked quickly in front of Jonathan, clearly avoiding his gaze. As we made it further away from the locker room, Jonathan tried to catch up to me.
"Rae! Rae wait up!" He practically yelled down the hall. So I did, I stopped in the middle of the hall and turned to face him. He smiled at me, but I didn't offer him one back, causing his to fall slightly.
"What do you want Jonathan." I hissed, causing him to flinch slightly.
"Babe, don't do this. I'm sorry, you know I am." He said, trying to reach out to me, but I push him away.
"First of all, do not call me babe anymore. This is your fault, and I am not here for you. I'm here for this job because you know how I've been dreaming of this for as long as I could remember. Do not think that we are suddenly okay just because I'm here Jonathan! If you wanted us to be okay, you shouldn't have made me fall in love with you 8 years ago, and then mysteriously disappear on me. And don't blame this on hockey either because I worked with the Stars for awhile and all of them still made time for the people they care about. I'm not your girl anymore Jonathan, and I don't know if I want to be." I said, allowing tears to start running down my face. He tried to reach out to me again, but I simply just pulled back.
"Rae-" He started, but I cut him off. I wiped the stray tears from my face, and straightened myself up. Taking a few deep breaths, I said,"You just go and get Kane for me. I'm keeping your chart the same." Jonathan just nodded, and turned to walk away from me. I took another deep breath before walking to my office.
~~~~~~
After waiting a few minutes in my office, I heard a soft knock on my door. "Come in!" I said loudly. The door opened to reveal Patrick Kane, one of my favorite players in the NHL. I met him on the occasions when the Hawks played the Stars, and he was a pretty cool person.
"Hey Rae! It's good to see you again." He said fondly. We both made our way towards each other for a hug. When he pulled me in close, I couldn't help but break down again. Pat pulled me down onto the couch in the room, and just rubbed my back. "Shhhh," He said quietly,"Just tell me what's wrong Rae." I looked up at him and sniffled a little bit, causing him to smile at me and push some of my stray hairs out of my face.
"It's Jonathan," I said pausing for a minute to see Pat's reaction . He tended up a little and got really defensive. "What did he do to you?" He said through gritted teeth, anger clearly laced in his words. "It's nothing recent. It's just, Jonathan and I grew up together, and he made me all the promises before he was drafted and he broke every single one. He also just dropped off the face of the earth and never talked to me again. I haven't seen him in 8 years, but I didn't think I would react like this." I said, pouring it all out like I did to Jamie and Tyler. Pat's face softened, and he pulled my closer to him.
"You don't have to worry about him Rae. I know you might not want to hear this, but Jonny does still care about you. When he came back to the locker room to come find me, he looked devastated. I'm not saying you have to forgive him, but at least try while you're here because I don't know how long everyone will be able to stand a mopey captain." He said, adding a little laugh to the end. I smile at him, and quickly thank him. I separate from our hug on the couch, and grab my clipboard to go over everything with Pat.
"Now let's get to work!" I said, smiling.
"Are you sure you wanna move up there and take the job in Chicago Rae?" My best friend, Jamie Benn, asked me. Shortly after I finished school, I came down to Dallas, Texas and took a job with the Dallas Stars as a trainer. It's always been a dream of mine to work closely with the players and be close to the game, even if that meant working close to Jonathan.
I sigh and look at Jamie, who features were filled with concern. "Jay I'm 24 years old now. I'm a big girl I can handle this, especially if it means I have to deal with Jonathan. Working with the Hawks has been a dream of mine for the longest time. I have to do this." I said, mostly to try and reassure myself, but also to reassure Jamie. He just nods and pulls me into his signature bear hug. "Just please don't forget about me." I hear him whisper, which breaks my heart. I rest my chin on his chest so I'm looking up at him. "How could I forget my favorite teddy bear?" I ask jokingly, causing Jay to smile and squeeze me tighter.
~~~~~~
It's been two weeks since I left Dallas, and today was the day I'm finally gonna meet the Chicago Blackhawks. I'm going to spend the next couple of days meeting with the guys and looking over their work out plans. As I'm packing my gym bag, I hear my phone ring with an all familiar ringtone.
"Ty, what's up?" I ask my friend, Tyler Seguin. He's been calling me nonstop and making sure everything is alright with me since I first got here.
"I just wanted to say hi and wish you luck before going in for your first day!" He said sweetly, knowing that it'll make me feel a little better.
"Thanks Ty! It's even worse than when I first met you guys. At least I went into that job with a clean slate and not knowing anyone." I said. I began picking up all my stuff, and heading out the door.
"Yeah I know what you mean, I just don't want you to go and get yourself hurt while you're up there okay?" Tyler said, concern laced in his voice. Ever since Tyler and I first met, he's had this overwhelming need to protect me, and I always thought it was sweet. People like Tyler are the kind you keep around forever.
"Aw Ty! I promise I'll keep myself safe and come back to you in one piece, okay?" I reassured him.
"Please do. I don't know what I'd do with myself if my baby girl got hurt." He said, half jokingly and half serious. This caused me to smile, while I was currently driving down the street down to the rink. The drive was shorter than I originally thought, so I had to hang up.
"Well Ty Bear, I'll call you back after I finish with the guys." I said, not actually wanting to hang up but knowing I had to.
"Okay baby girl I'll talk to you later! Now don't go falling in love with any Hawks!" He joked.
"My heart belongs to you Ty! Bye!" I said, and right before I hang up I hear him say a faint goodbye.
I hesitantly knock on Coach Q's door, and here a mumble to come in. He smiles at me, and stands to shake my hand.
"You're Raegan Matthews, our new trainer right?" He asks, and I simply nod. "I'm here to do my evals for the guys today and look over their plans, if that's okay with you?" I say, almost too quickly. "Well most of the guys are here, so just pull them one at a time as needed." He said. I nodded, and walked out to my office space. I had been here a couple of times over the past two weeks to get all of my stuff settled and learn the layout.
Once I get into my office, I pull a roster and head into the locker room to go pull some guys. I knew all of the guys were dressed because Q was in there giving them some type of update on what was going on.
"Today you guys are going to be meeting with our new trainer, Miss Raegan Matthews. I expect you to treat her with respect and listen to what she has to tell you." Q said sharply. I take this as my queue to walk in, and I'm met with everyone's eyes, especially Jonathan's. I couldn't help but blush, knowing after 8 years, that this was the way I was being reintroduced into his life. I looked down at my list, and his named happened to be first. I cleared my throat, and stood tall.
"Jonathan Toews, you're up first." I said, confidence laced in my voice. The boys all called out as I walked quickly in front of Jonathan, clearly avoiding his gaze. As we made it further away from the locker room, Jonathan tried to catch up to me.
"Rae! Rae wait up!" He practically yelled down the hall. So I did, I stopped in the middle of the hall and turned to face him. He smiled at me, but I didn't offer him one back, causing his to fall slightly.
"What do you want Jonathan." I hissed, causing him to flinch slightly.
"Babe, don't do this. I'm sorry, you know I am." He said, trying to reach out to me, but I push him away.
"First of all, do not call me babe anymore. This is your fault, and I am not here for you. I'm here for this job because you know how I've been dreaming of this for as long as I could remember. Do not think that we are suddenly okay just because I'm here Jonathan! If you wanted us to be okay, you shouldn't have made me fall in love with you 8 years ago, and then mysteriously disappear on me. And don't blame this on hockey either because I worked with the Stars for awhile and all of them still made time for the people they care about. I'm not your girl anymore Jonathan, and I don't know if I want to be." I said, allowing tears to start running down my face. He tried to reach out to me again, but I simply just pulled back.
"Rae-" He started, but I cut him off. I wiped the stray tears from my face, and straightened myself up. Taking a few deep breaths, I said,"You just go and get Kane for me. I'm keeping your chart the same." Jonathan just nodded, and turned to walk away from me. I took another deep breath before walking to my office.
~~~~~~
After waiting a few minutes in my office, I heard a soft knock on my door. "Come in!" I said loudly. The door opened to reveal Patrick Kane, one of my favorite players in the NHL. I met him on the occasions when the Hawks played the Stars, and he was a pretty cool person.
"Hey Rae! It's good to see you again." He said fondly. We both made our way towards each other for a hug. When he pulled me in close, I couldn't help but break down again. Pat pulled me down onto the couch in the room, and just rubbed my back. "Shhhh," He said quietly,"Just tell me what's wrong Rae." I looked up at him and sniffled a little bit, causing him to smile at me and push some of my stray hairs out of my face.
"It's Jonathan," I said pausing for a minute to see Pat's reaction . He tended up a little and got really defensive. "What did he do to you?" He said through gritted teeth, anger clearly laced in his words. "It's nothing recent. It's just, Jonathan and I grew up together, and he made me all the promises before he was drafted and he broke every single one. He also just dropped off the face of the earth and never talked to me again. I haven't seen him in 8 years, but I didn't think I would react like this." I said, pouring it all out like I did to Jamie and Tyler. Pat's face softened, and he pulled my closer to him.
"You don't have to worry about him Rae. I know you might not want to hear this, but Jonny does still care about you. When he came back to the locker room to come find me, he looked devastated. I'm not saying you have to forgive him, but at least try while you're here because I don't know how long everyone will be able to stand a mopey captain." He said, adding a little laugh to the end. I smile at him, and quickly thank him. I separate from our hug on the couch, and grab my clipboard to go over everything with Pat.
"Now let's get to work!" I said, smiling.
Love this story!
8/19/15