Long Road To Wisdom

He avoided her for two full days. She wanted to give him space because she could understand the embarrassment. Everyone had been a virgin once, right? And, honestly, the appeal of breaking him in had her hot and bothered all over again. After stonewalling her through two practices and team meetings though, he was making the rest of the guys think something was seriously wrong. If she didn’t have the team’s trust, she couldn’t help them and that shit had to stop.

“Hey, Smith! Wait up a second!” She finally managed to get him alone in the entrance to the rink. He looked like he was heading home and when he turned to face her, he was cringing. “Can I talk to you?”

He wasn’t blushing, which was a good sign, and he stood there just waiting for her to talk. “I’m really sorry about the other night. I had no idea or I wouldn’t have pressured you.” He scoffed and rolled his eyes. She had to remind herself that she was dealing with a teenager. “But, I’d like to make it up to you. Maybe a night in, my place?” She tried to look hopeful, perhaps convey that she had a different form of higher education in mind. One that wouldn’t end with him coming early and her being left unsatisfied yet again.

He was still for a long moment just watching her. She gave him a smile in hopes that she’d reassure him. When he smiled back it wasn’t the full on Brendan Smith smile. But, it was something, at least. “Tonight?”

Her eyes light up at his suggestion. “Yeah, I mean, if that’s good for you.”

Smith nodded and then stepped into her space. She took a deep breath and was about to tip her head up to kiss him before she remembered where they were. She stepped away but shoved at his shoulder gently. “Tonight.”

*

Smith was prompt at seven so when she opened the door for him, the pasta dish she’d made was just coming off the stove. He sniffed the air appreciatively, offering one of his wide smiles and another bouquet of flowers. She took the flowers and ushered him inside. He’d never been in her apartment so much and she let him look around for a few minutes while she went to put the flowers in water.

For some reason, she was kind of nervous.

Dinner was low key and she was pleased that he didn’t have her problem with nerves. He was relaxed again: friendly and open. All the things he’d been the previous times they’d been out. As she joined him on the couch after cleaning up a bit, he let out a big sigh.

“I’m really glad you decided this was all right. I like spending time with you.” The edges of his words were flirty. She swallowed, hard. He was the virgin here but his sometimes shy words, like now, made her feel like the inexperienced one.

“Well, you know, I never back down from a challenge.”

Smith’s laugh was warm and he grabbed her hand to squeeze it. That certainly felt like challenge enough. Shannon went to him, her legs straddling his lap and her hands around the back of his neck. He looked comfortable with her there; his hands rested lightly on her hips.

When she bent her head and pressed their lips together he remained absolutely still beneath her. It was a slow and lazy make-out session. She tried to give him non-verbal clues as encouragement, moaning a bit when his thumbs started stroking against the hem of her shirt. When his tongue slipped along the seam of her lips she ground down into his laps. She moaned again as the rough denim of his jeans, made stiff by the half-hard cock it was hiding, pressed against her core.

Smith was panting when she pulled back. His eyes were squeezed shut and his fingers were tight on her hips. “Smith. Look at me.” He took a second, rolling his head from one side to the other. “Come on. I’m not going to bite.” She added the cliché ‘hard’ in her head.

When he finally did look at him, she was floored. His pupils were blown wide, the black almost drowning out the brown. At least she knew he was just as onboard with this idea as she was. She was about to grind a little harder, kiss a little deeper, and suggest they take this party somewhere else.

“Um- what you said, about me trying to date you?” He sounded so awkward. “Yeah, I’d still like to do that but I- I dunno. It feels like you’re really trying too hard.”

Shannon let her jaw drop open. She was trying too hard? Who was this kid and why wasn’t he jumping at the chance to get into her pants? She had never, ever before in her life had this problem. Guys didn’t have these kinds of doubts. They didn’t want slow romance. They- fuck it. She was totally out of her depth with this one.

“I like you Shannon. A lot. And I wasn’t raised to treat women poorly. I want whatever could happen between the two of us to mean something.”

She couldn’t have looked more surprised if the Queen of England had rode through the ice complex on a unicorn waving the Irish flag and singing Oh Canada. He really was serious about dating her.

“Look, Smith-“

He interrupted her. “Brendan. You should call me Brendan.” There was a flicker of hope in his expression. It made her feel really uncomfortable.

“Look, Smith. Hooking up is one thing, but dating is a whole other can of worms. That’s the sort of shit that will get you cut and me fired.”

He frowned. It was so rare to not see him with at least a smirk that it twisted something inside of her, filling her with guilt. “I don’t understand the difference.”

“Well, I can’t really explain it but that’s how it is.” She shrugged. Really, that was it. She couldn’t do relationships, not like this. Not with someone like him. She sighed then because she knew this had all been sort of a cluster fuck idea in the first place. “You know, let’s just forget about all of this, alright? We’ve got an entire season ahead of us.” Her parting smile was an attempt at kind and reassuring.

Smith grabbed her wrist before she could fully turn and walk away. “But I like you Shannon. A lot.” He looked lost and it made her feel like shit. He wasn’t getting the hint that she wasn’t in this for something as silly as love. So, she did as she has always done and went on the offensive.

“You don’t even know me, Smith. Seriously, we’re just going to forget about all of this and go about our lives, pretending that you never tried to make me your girlfriend. I’ll even forget that I just wanted to jump your bones. Deal?”

Anger flared in his expression at her words. Finally she’d gotten through to him. He dropped her wrist and backed away. “Yeah, sure. Sounds good.” He gave her a razor sharp smile. The temperature in the room dropped by ten degrees and then he was gone. She frowned but headed back to the locker room.

*

Shannon couldn’t keep her eyes off Smith the next day. She tracked his every move and frowned the whole time. They were playing the University of Michigan that night and what she was seeing made her very nervous. He slid to a stop in front of the bench, spraying some snow on her. “Why do you keep staring at me?” His words seemed thunderous in the quiet of the rink. Almost everyone else had left already.

“How’s the ankle?”

As soon as the words slipped out of her mouth, he knew what she’d seen. He set his lips in a grim line. “Just fine. Nothing to worry about.”

“You have no balance on the inside edge. You almost wiped out twice behind the goal.” She was thinking it was a minor high ankle sprain. Likely nothing serious but definitely worth her concern. He shook his head at her and backed away, as though putting some space between them would change the condition of his body.

“It’s fine. Everything is fine.” He was almost panicked.

Her dad came up behind her, putting a hand on her shoulder. He yelled out across the ice and caught the attention of the handful of players left. “Hit the showers, guys. Get your naps in and be back here in four hours.” He leaned down to Shannon’s level when he noticed she hadn’t looked away from Smith. “What’s going on?”

She had a call to make now and as much as she didn’t want to do it, she had to. It was her responsibility to take care of everyone on this team, even if they were the other half to a ridiculously embarrassing and uncomfortable misunderstanding. “You should bench Smith tonight. High ankle sprain, I think. I’d like to get your opinion and maybe Andy’s.”

Her dad looked up at Smith. “Give me a lap, Smith.” The defenseman knew he’d been beat and his face reflected it as he circled the rink. “Good call, Shannon. I see it too.” Smith slid to a stop in front of her once more. There was no smile. “Go see Andy.”

And with that, she made her first judgment call of the season.

It also completely change the way she and Smith interacted, even more so than their mutual disagreement about relationships.

Notes