The Cabin by the Lake

He sat on the couch with his jacket still on, not looking at me. He wanted to know about my family, my past. I sat on the other side, looking at the paused screen of Will Ferrell’s face in the toy shop when he hears Santa is coming. “Tell me about you Family Ry.” He looked over at me, confused. “What?” I kept looking at the screen. “You have your parents together, siblings, dogs…you guys get along for the most part right? You gather for family holidays and talk on the phone often…you support each other…right?” He nodded, “Yeah…” I looked over at him, “I never had that.” My phone buzzed and my mom’s cell phone number came on the screen. I opened the picture attachment. Patrick was out of jail. He was with my mom. Happy Thanksgiving. The text read, with a picture of them smiling, selfie style. My blood boiled, she always liked Patrick. She always said I made a mistake for breaking up with him, and she never believed he beat me. “Do you really want to know about my family? About my past?” He nodded, “Yeah, I do Em. More than anything.” I grabbed my jacket and put on my shoes. “Then come with me.”

He asked “where are we going?” and “Em, talk to me.” But I kept silent for the half hour drive. I pulled into the drive way of my run down childhood home. “This is where I grew up.” I turned off the car and waited for him to speak. There was a broken window, the screen on the door was ripped. The garage door had a hole from when Logan drove into it when he was learning how to drive. The grass was yellow and patchy, the paint was chipping…He looked over at me, but never said a word. “I didn’t grow up privileged. Sometimes it feels like I was never a kid…Patrick is inside with my mom. To put it gently, I do not get along with my mom, hell we don’t like each other. But I won’t let him hurting her. Let me deal with it okay?” We got out of the car and up the broken walk way and cracked cement stairs. I opened the screen door which slammed behind Ryan and startled him. The house smelt like stale cigarettes and piss, it never phased me as a kid. The once maroon couch is now dark brown. The carpet has steins, the walls were yellow, and not by choice. The TV was broken, beer bottles were everywhere. My mom and Pat looked over at us. “Well, look who decided to visit mommy.” She was missing more teeth than last time I saw her. Her hair was matted, short, and grey. Her shirt had cigarette burns on it. She had pink slippers on, which you could tell went outside with her. The kitchen table had beer bottles, ashtrays, old magazines, and dirty plates on it.

“What are you doing here?” I asked Pat, feeling Ryan’s on my back. “Visiting an old friend.” My mom laughed her hoarse laugh and coughed. “Why did you ever break up with him? He’s such a nice boy…who’s that?” I rolled my eyes, “This is my boyfriend, Ryan. And I broke up with that jerk because he was abusive. Which reminds me…I have a restraining order against you Pat. It’s still in effect…you can’t be near me or my family or my friends…remember?” He laughed, “Well I have a score to settle with you. You got my blood all over my favorite shirt.” Pat stood up, but I didn’t back down. My mom lit another cigarette, “Pat wouldn’t hurt a fly. Emily, you’re losing it I tell you.” I grabbed my cell phone, “You really don’t believe me mom? If the cops come and take him away for not following the rules of the restraining order…will you believe then?” She laughed and rubbed Pat’s back. “You wouldn’t call the cops on this sweet boy.” They smiled at each other, I rolled my eyes and dialed 911. “Yes, I have a restraining order on Patrick Laughlin, and he is in breach of it…Yes that’s my address. Thank you.” I put my phone back into my pocket. “Just a few minutes.” My mom put her cigarette down, “Emily. How dare you. This boy is innocent.” I laughed, “Of course you side with the abuser. You fell for dad! Hell, you abused us more than he did, and in more awful ways.” I heard Ryan gasp. I looked around, realizing Sam wasn’t around. “Where’s the dog?” My mom shrugged, “That damn thing. I don’t know.” My eye widened. “You put him in the office, didn’t you?” She shrugged and I ran to the office door. Paint was chipping from it, and a flash back from my younger days hit me as I opened the door and saw Sam laying on the floor, clinging to life. “When was the last time you fed him? How long as he been in there?” I yelled as I held him in my arms and walked back to the living room, and she shrugged. “The damn thing kept shitting on the floor. So I punished him…maybe 2 or 3 days.” I looked at Sam who tried to wag his tail. “I will pay you for him. So you don’t have to deal with him. I will give you whatever I have on me for Sam.” She laughed, “You want this disobedient little shit?” A flash back of my mom saying that about me to a teacher ran through my mind…I grabbed my wallet, “$300.” She smiled, “Fine, he’s your responsibility.” I gave Sam to Ryan and grabbed a piece of paper. I wrote down our deal and had my mom and I sign it. “This way you can’t say I stole him.” I gave her the $300. “The police will be here soon.” My mom rolled her eyes. “Patrick is a nice boy Emily.” I shook my head, “no mom. But I wouldn’t expect you to get it. We’re leaving. He’ll probably beat you a little before the cops come. This is it mom. This is the last time I ever see you.” She laughed, “You said that before you left in the summer. Greedy bitch.” I shook my head, “This is the last time. If he comes after you, don’t even call. I won’t answer.” Ryan's eyes were wide, he looked lost. "This is it." I went towards the front door and Ryan followed me outside, Sam seemed to enjoy the fresh air. Ryan held him in his lap, trying to absorb what just happened.

I started to drive, “I grew up there. When my brother was born, he was the perfect child to my mom and dad. A boy. They treated him like he was gold even when I was born…I was always seen as worthless. The room Sam was in…that was our punishment. If we sneezed, looked at mom the wrong way, went to school…we were put in there for days…once I was in there for 2 weeks. No food. No bathroom. I had a teacher come to my house to get me, but my mother never let her in. I would escape through the window to go to school, but I was always caught and eventually my mom nailed the window shut…My dad abused us because he was a drunk. He finally left without a word when I was 8 or so...maybe younger. My mom…she abused us because she was drunk, high, lost at cards…you name it. When my brother left for college, she was bitter to both of us. When he got deployed…it was as if he never existed. She never showed up to his memorial service. She thinks he’s wasting away somewhere instead of being a brave solider who fought for his country…Sammy here used to be full of life. He was my escape when Logan left…but now…he looks void of life…To sum it up…that’s how I grew up...void of life. That’s why I never talk about my family, because my real family is in heaven; my grandma, my grandpa, and my brother…”

We drove in silence, Ryan looked out the window and held onto Sam tightly. “Get off at this exit.” Was all he said to me, and it surprised me. “What?” He nodded, “This one, do it.” I did as he said, and kept driving until I saw a PetSmart come into view. “He needs a collar and leash…food, bowls, toys…” he grabbed my hand. As I pulled into the parking lot. “I need to process all this…but right now…let’s take care of Sam.” I smiled, Happy he didn’t instantly break up with me. Happy that he didn’t scream and shout and freak out. As we walked into the PetSmart, i realized this is the first thing I ever told Ryan that Zac doesn't know.

Notes

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