The Cabin by the Lake

I had photos printed, food in the oven, and wine chilling in the fridge. I showered, shaved my legs, and got all pretty…the last time I tried this hard for a guy was when I was helping my best friend Sarah on her first date with her now boyfriend…I’ve had a total of 3 boyfriends. Mike in 9th grade, it lasted a week. Kevin in college, freshman year. It lasted about 6 months before I learned her was also seeing Megan in our Creative writing class…and then there was Pat…Sophomore spring semester until senior year in September. Even though we were together for over a year, I never felt the need to get glammed up for him…Pat didn’t understand my family, except my dad, and we fought a lot. I knew we wouldn’t end up together…Have you heard of Freud’s theory that roughly says that girls want to be with guys who are like their dads? I think some of that is true…but Pat was a lot like my dad, and I unfortunately found out too far into our relationship...only Sarah and Casey knew why we broke up…

When 7 started to approach, I got into yoga pants and a fitted t-shirt. I poured myself a glass of white wine; to give the illusion that I was just hanging out and being casual with a friend. I sat on the couch with a movie playing on the small TV. I’m not sure of the title, but it was a movie my grandmother had and it was pictures in black and white. I was on my second glass of wine when there was a light tap on the door. I put down my glass, and butterflies rushed into my stomach. I fixed my hair real quick and walked to the door. I opened it and Zac gave a smile. He walked in, “I see you’re enjoying some wine?” I nodded, “Barely. I’ve just started my first glass.” He took a bottle of wine out of a bag he had, “I wasn’t sure if you had any, so I brought some too.” I smiled, “Thank you, would you like a glass?” He nodded and I poured some of the white wine I had already opened. “I personally haven’t eaten dinner yet, I’m just heating up some shepherd’s pie. Feel free to have any.” He smiled, “I haven’t eaten yet either. Thank you.” We were being way too formal with each other. I knew I was nervous, but I didn’t know if he was…

“Oh, I have those pictures for you! And please make yourself at home.” He smiled and I went into the bedroom to get the photos of him and Diesel that I had printed. When I came out he was laying on the couch, taking up all the space. “What? No room for me?” He smiled, “Sorry!” I laughed, “I prefer the floor anyways.” I sat on the floor by his head, “The first set are of just Diesel, the second are of you and him.” I handed him the pictures. “I have to say, I think these came out great. As a photographer it’s always ideal to get subjects that actually have chemistry and like each other. That’s one mistake a lot of amateur photographers do; they think they can have their friend hold their brother’s guitar. But if that people doesn’t know anything or like the guitar then the picture comes out flat…sorry I’m rambling…” I bit my lip and took a sip of my wine. “No don’t be sorry.” He tilted his head towards me, “It’s good to be passionate about something.” I smiled, “Actually, these pictures are great. I especially like this one.” He showed me the picture of him and Diesel sitting on the ground looking out over the lake. “That one is my favorite too. Feel free to keep any!” He smiled, “Thank you Emily.” I smiled back, “What are you passionate about, Zac?” He sat up on his elbows to think for a moment, “Hockey.” I laughed at how certain he sounded. “Hockey? Really? Do you play?” He did a smile to himself, “Here and there” I nodded, “I don’t know too much about hockey…all I know is what my brother taught me.” Zac nodded, “and what did he teach you?” I smiled as I thought back to the (many) memories of my brother ‘teaching’ me about hockey. “We like the Bruins because we are from Boston. And we like…that team from Philly…” Zac smiled, “the Flyers?” I nodded, “yes! He loved these two teams since he was born, practically…he also taught me we never root for Montreal or Pittsburg. And that we don’t really care about the West coast teams, mostly just the East coast teams.”

Zac rolled to his side, “Why did he like the flyers?” I laughed thinking back to my brother prancing around after a game. “They’re the broad street bullies!” He laughed and I joined in, I couldn’t help it. I hadn’t thought about these memories in a long time. “Do you have a favorite team?” He smiled, “The flyers actually. I’ve loved them for a long while.” “Do you ever wish you could play for them?” Zac smiled like he knew something that I didn’t, “Something like that.” He finished his glass of wine, and I finished mine. “Logan wanted to be the goalie of the Flyers for such a long time. Ron something rather was his idol.” Zac laughed, “Ron Hextall?” I laughed, “That’s the one! He would have me throw socks at him when we would do laundry and he would try to block them.” Zac smiled, he liked to hear these memories. “What’s your brother do now?” My heart stopped…I hadn’t said his name in years but with Zac it came out no problem…I didn’t look at Zac, and I played with the empty glass in my hands. “He…he joined the marines and got deployed a few months before graduating college…” I stood up and grabbed the small picture and award he got for his courageous actions off the wall. I brought it over to Zac. “There was a school room full of children about to be attacked. He couldn’t just leave…he got the children out but…” I had to stop before I started crying. Zac stood up next to me and wrapped me in a hug, a hug that felt perfect. He didn’t say anything, most people do…but I liked that he didn’t say anything.

We parted and I needed the subject changed. “I want to be your friend Zac.” He smiled, “Good, I want to be yours too.” I sat on the couch and he sat next to me. “Tell me a secret.” He laughed, “What?” I smiled, “It doesn’t have to be anything big…here I’ll go first.” He nodded, “Okay, shoot.” I took a moment to think. I looked at the wine bottles and smiled, “okay…I’ve never gotten drunk before.” He laughed, “Really? Never?” I shook my head, “I’ve always been the caretaker.” He smiled, “My secret is that I’ve never helped someone get drunk, let alone for their first time.” I laughed, “That’s not a real secret!” He nodded at me, “Oh trust me it is.” He stood up and took my hand to stand me up too. “I think both these secrets need to go away.” I laughed, “oh yeah?” He smiled, “Yes, put some shoes on Emily, we are going for an alcohol run.” I nodded, “Sir Yes sir.” I grabbed my converse and slipped them on, “I’ll go grab my car.” Zac said while putting the wine glasses in the sink for me. “We can take my car, I don’t mind.” Zac nodded, “You’ve had two glasses of wine, and you’re cool with me driving?” I nodded then looked at him, “how’d you know?” He smiled, “You’re a little more relaxed than earlier.” I laughed, “Yeah you can drive my car.” I threw the keys to him and he smiled.

In the car Zac glanced over at me. I have to say, he looked good…driving…he looked good driving… “So tell me, what do you and don’t you like to drink?” I thought for a moment, “I don’t really like beer, but I like ciders.” He nodded, “No beers, just ciders, check. What about the hard stuff?” I thought again, “I like rum, but not spiced, or whiskey, no vodka or tequila…but if it’s fruity I like it.” Zac laughed, “Ciders, rum or wine. Check.” I laughed, “Just not red wine, I can’t stand it.” He laughed as we pulled into the liqueur store, “At least it’s not a long list. I’ll run in real quick, sound good?” I nodded, “sounds good!” He got out, and I couldn’t help but smile. I felt…good around Zac. I felt like myself, like all the worries in the world don’t exists. He came out with two bags and placed them in the back seat. “Did you buy the whole store?” He laughed as he started the car. “It’s not all for tonight, just a few things you should try.” I nodded, “How drunk are you getting me tonight?” He smiled, “Well, it’s only good to test your limit!” I felt good around Zac. There was something about him that was…mysterious and dangerous but also sweet and open.

When we got back to the cabin he handed me a cold cider. “The first one we chug.” I laughed, “I’ll try!” As I tried to drink my cider fast, Zac turned on some music and emptied the rest of the contents. “Now, this isn’t all for tonight. But I thought you’d like a wide variety.” I nodded as I looked at the bottled of different sizes and shapes. “I know you don’t like beer, but this one is a blueberry one and I think you’d like it…This rum is good for mixing with fruity flavors…more ciders for you, and a few other flavors you might like.” I finished my cider and looked at all the different bottles, “I think I’ll stick with the cider for now.” Zac nodded and opened two bottles of cider. We sat on the couch listening to the music. The cider felt good going down my throat, and tasted amazing. I could feel myself getting hot and my mind started to wonder about Zac…intimate details.

I was 4 ciders down and feeling good. I couldn’t stand still. I would sway to the music and I felt Zac’s eyes on me. He would laugh when I sang along to the words, and he would laugh even more when I didn’t know all the words. “How are you feeling?” He asked me with a little slur. “I’m fine! Not drive a car fine, but fine!” He laughed, “You’re wasted.” I laughed and sat next to him, a little closer than I had planned. “No way! Just…buzzed.” I finished my 4th and went on to my 5th…okay I was pretty drunk. “Zac, do you have a girlfriend?” He laughed, “No, why do you ask?” I shrugged, “just wanting to get to know you more.” He smiled, “Do you have a boyfriend?” I shook my head, “nope!” He smiled at me and stood up to get another drink himself. A song came on and I couldn’t help but smile. “I love this song!” Zac listened for a minute, “is this country?” I nodded, “I love country music.” He came in the living room and sat down. “Some of its good, not a favorite of mine.” I swayed to the music, “Kiss you in the Morning” by Michael Ray was actually a song on my workout play list. I want to kiss you on the dance floor, kiss you like let’s go, come on, baby let me hear you say uh-oh. I sang with the lyrics. A song about kissing, and Zac’s here…maybe it’s a sign…no, I can’t rush it. Depending on the next song I’ll maybe make a move.

Zac smiled at me as I most likely made a fool out of myself. “So what did you grandma say about me in that letter?” I gave a cheeky smile, “wouldn’t you like to know?” He smiled, “I would!” I grabbed the letter from my bedroom and held it up, “If you want to read it, come and get it.” He put his drink down and came towards me. I moved out of his way and he laughed. I put my drink down and tried to get away from him, but he was too fast. He grabbed my waist and he fell onto of my on the couch. He took the letter, and started to read it as he stayed on top of me. “Oh, she thinks I’m cute?” I laughed, “Well to be honest she’s not the only one.” Zac looked down at me, his eyes looking right into mine. I felt vulnerable, but I liked it. He got off of me and handed me the letter, “Are you gunna keep me around then?” I shrugged as I brought the letter back into my room. “Someone has to mow the lawn.” He laughed and we both finished our drinks. I grabbed another when a new song came on. “Are you Gunna Kiss me or Not” by Thomas Square. That was my sign. I put the unopen bottle on the table, “I love this song!” I grabbed Zac, “you have to dance with me!” I put his hand on my waist, my arm over his shoulder and out hands were cupped together, “Sorry, you have no say!” He laughed and we swayed as I sang along with the words, all I could think about was my next move, but you were so shy and so was I, maybe that’s why it was so hard to believe, when you smiled and said to me, are you gunna kiss me or not, are we gunna do this or what? I think you know I like you a lot, but you’re about to miss your hot. Are you gunna kiss me or not? If those lyrics weren’t direct enough for him, then I don’t know what would be. He pulled me closer, and our cupped hands became intertwined with each other. My heart raced, and I started to fumble on the words. The next chorus started to come up, and you smiled and said to me, are you gunna kiss me or not? We stopped dancing and Zac’s lips landed on mine. We kissed throughout the rest of the song, my arms going around his neck and his arms around my waist. My heart raced as our tongues moved with each other.

We parted and Zac smiled at me and I smiled back. I didn’t know what to say, and I don’t think he did either. But we never let each other go. He moved some of my brown hair out of my face, I grabbed both of his hands and brought him in my bedroom. He pulled me in close and kissed my hard. It was passionate and lustful. As we started to kiss again, we laid down on the bed. He was trying to be gentle. He wasn’t completely sure if it was a good idea, and I was thinking the same. But we didn’t listen. His hand rested on my side, under my shirt. He kissed my neck and at that moment Pat popped into my head. I froze. I instantly felt scared. “Zac, stop.” He did, right away. “What’s wrong?” I bit my lip, “I…I can’t do this.” He sat up, “why?” He seemed a little ticked off, I don’t blame him. “I want to…but…but I can’t.” I looked away from him, I was scared and not because of him and I felt ashamed. “Are you…have you done this before?” I nodded, “yes, it’s not that…my ex popped into my head and…” He cut me off, “Oh.” He got up and went into the living room. “Zac…” I ran after him and he was putting his shoes on. “Zac, no. It’s not like that…” He turned me, rage in his eyes. “No, I get it. I’ll leave.” I tried to make sense of myself, but my mind felt so fuzzy I couldn’t. “Zac, wait….” But he left. I was alone. Alone and with my own thoughts. I felt helpless. I grabbed the unopened cider from earlier and threw it against the wall out of my own rage. I then just sat on the floor, crying.

I watched the sun come up. My face felt puffy and gross. I felt gross. The smell of the cider started to hit me. I stood up, feeling weak, and started to pick up some of the glass from the bottle I broke. Pat came back into my head; what he did to me…ruining my night…rage built up inside of me. I couldn’t hold it in. I stood up and grabbed the bottle of rum Zac bought. I held it in my hand and looked at it. “For all the shit you did to me. For all the shit you put me through…I would love to throw you against the wall and watch you break!” I wound up and hurled the large bottle at the wall. It all happened in slow motion…the bottle hit the wall and began to break, glass and rum going everywhere. I felt so pissed off, I felt that if I kept throwing things, I would feel better. I went to grab another bottle, “What are you doing?” I heard in a small voice. I turned to see Zac standing there. I felt vulnerable again…I didn’t feel angry anymore…just sad. I started to cry and Zac ran over and held me. He didn’t say anything and I appreciated that. I just need him. “Have you slept at all?” I shook my head no and he held me tighter. “We should talk…”I said and he nodded. I cleaned up my face as much as I could.

I sat on the couch with Zac and he handed me a tea he made while I was cleaning myself up. “So, about last night…” Zac looked sad, “I didn’t mean to run out…I just thought maybe you were comparing me or…I don’t even know…” I shook my head, “I should explain why he popped up…” I took a deep breath, “Only my 2 best friends know…so just be patient with me…” He nodded. “His name is Pat. When we started dating it was fine. I mean it wasn’t true love or anything, but I thought he was nice enough…turns out he wasn’t. I was with him for far too long, over a year, but most of that was me being scared to leave. It started off as everything was my fault…he did bad on a test because I distracted him or his team lost because I was in the room…and then…when he would watch football he found out a new good luck charm…he learned that every time he slapped me, his team would win that game…then he learned that when he hit me in the ribs he would do good on a test…” Zac’s eyes started to get angry. His knuckles were turning white. I should of stopped there, but trust came easily with Zac. I took another breath. “Then I had enough. I told him he couldn’t do this to me and I wouldn’t stand to see it happen again. And that if he touched me ever again I would call the cops…That’s the night he learned that I was truely scared of him. He had this look in his eyes…a look I can’t describe but I knew I would be lucky to make it out alive…He threw me against the wall and said he’d kill me if I ever went to the police.” Zac stood up and paced. He didn’t say anything. He just paced. “But that night, I went to the police…he wasn’t arrested or anything, no proof they said, but they got a restraining order. Luckily I didn’t break any bones…” Zac’s pace quickened. “Did he ever…why did he pop up when we were there?” He pointed to the bedroom. “No, he never…but it’s how he found out he got pleasure out of hurting me…when everything started to happen, I refused to sleep with him…so he just hit me instead.” Zac walked into the kitchen, grabbed a wine bottle and hurled it at the wall. I just sat there, watching him lose his temper. He came over and sat next to me. “I would never hurt you Emily. Never. I know I lose my temper sometimes, but never like that.” He held my hand, “do you trust me?” I placed my hand on his face, “With all my heart.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “This wasn’t what I thought was wrong…I came over to apologize…I thought maybe I pushed you too far or something…I thought…” I kissed him softly. “You came back Zac. That’s all I care about.” He rested his forehead on mine, I felt safe. I felt protected. Zac reminded me of my brother in so many ways. Logan protected me from our dad…and I know Zac will protect me from anything…

I took a shower while Zac cleaned up the glass off the floor and wall. I wore shorts and a leopard print tank top. Zac looked up at me from the floor, “I think you might have to repaint this wall…” Alcohol stained the beige wall. He stood up and washed his hands. “Are you free today?” I threw on some flip flops and we got into my car. Zac insisted on driving again, I didn’t refuse. He drove us to the home improvement store and we went to the paint section. “So, what color are you thinking?” There was a million to choose from. I wanted to keep it beige because that’s what my grandma had it at…but all the other colors looked more exciting. “I want something…calm, but can go with everything…” I picked out a few colors, “what do you think?” I looked at the colors, trying to decide between yellows that all looked the same. I looked up at Zac with lost eyes, and he smiled at me, “Get the one in the middle.” It was a mild yellow color, similar to beige but a little more life in it. “And if you don’t like it, then we will repaint again.” I laughed, “I’ll hold that against you.” He put his arm around me, I took in the scent of his cologne. We bought brushes of all different size, tape, paint, rollers, and pans to pour the paint in.
We painted for two days, mostly because Zac did it all and I watched while making comments like “you missed a spot” or “are you sure you’re doing it right?” Zac turned, “Hmm…I’m not sure…maybe I’m supposed to do it like this?” He came over to me and put a paint mark on my forehead. I laughed, “That’s definitely wrong.” Spending all this time with Zac made me enjoy having him around more and more. My heart sored when I saw him walking through the woods towards me. His smile made my heart beat fast, and when we kissed…I became weak in the knees and I would melt.

Notes

Sorry for it being long, but some chapters will be like that!
Thank you all for the feedback so far! :)
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