Ride (Reposted)

March 2015

After finally being released from the hospital she found herself sitting quietly in the front seat of Jamie's Escalade. His hand placed gingerly on her leg.

Just the other day she had finally passed the fetus and it was the most traumatizing thing she had ever experienced.

Jamie had brought her lunch as it was happening. He held her as she fell off the toilet screaming, he didn't even care that she got blood on him.

He had been so strong throughout this whole process. She knew he was an emotional wreck, but he held it together much better then she had.

She could tell when he had been crying, his eyes puffy and bloodshot.

The drugs she had been prescribed numbed her to everything. The physical pain and the emotional pain.

"I love you." She told him quietly.

"I love you too. We're almost home."

"Do I seem like kind of a bitch for baring my mother from the hospital and not yours?"

"She's upset. When should we tell our parents?" He glanced at her.

"I don't know. I know we should soon since I all of a sudden received a blood transfusion. So maybe tonight after dinner."

"You feel up to eating?"

She would only take a few nibbles off of her food whenever Jamie would bring her lunch or whatever the hospital brought to her and be full. It was the drugs, and the bleeding.

"I'm going to try not to take painkillers tonight." She lied.

She liked feeling numb.

She could sleep for hours.

"That's my girl. I love you." He leaned over to kiss her forehead at the lights.

"I wonder what my new nose will look like." She giggled.

"Hopefully the same. I liked your cute little nose."

"That honkin thing. No."

"You'll still be beautiful. I missed hearing you laugh."

"I feel like we've been crying to much we needed it."

"I know. We'll get through it. We always do." He reached behind her and wrapped his fingers in her hair.

"Hmm hmm." She moaned as she tilted her head back into Jamie's hand.

Within moments she was asleep. The next thing she knew she was being carried into the house.

"Where do you want to go?"

"Too the bedroom. I can walk babe." She groaned.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I want to sleep in my own bed."

He placed her on the ground as she had demanded and he lead her into the house.

***

Jamie watched her walk up the stairs stiffly with Bailey close behind her. He groaned as he made his way up too, hoping to join her for a nap. He was exhausted. He had barely slept in the past couple of days, his hips were putting him in excruciating pain, along with the emotional pain of having her in the hospital and the loss of their baby. On top of putting in solid minutes on the ice. He needed to sleep.

Hearing the door close ahead of him, he prayed she didn't lock it behind her. Giving the door handle a slight turn he found it unlocked and let himself in, finding Bailey on the bed watching the bathroom door intently.

"Is she in there buddy?" Jamie asked, crawling in beside Bailey's typical spot in the middle of the bed.

Bailey let out a soft whine as Emily opened the bathroom door, wearing one of Jamie's old Kelowna Rockets t-shirts and an old pair of rugby shorts.

"Did you wanna nap with me?" She smiled, a haze across her eyes.

"Yeah. I haven't slept. And my hips hurt."

"Let's have a nap." She said sleepily as she climbed up onto their bed gingerly.

Within minutes of her crawling on the bed, Bailey was curled into her stomach.

"I missed you too baby. I'm not leaving your side for a while." She said softly to Bailey, who affectionately licked her face.

"I missed this. Our bed was so cold and lonely with just Bails and I." He said softly into her ear.

"I'm sure it wasn't cold between the two of you. You both are my heaters." Emily laughed, "ow, my ribs."

"Lonely then." He laughed, "let's go to sleep baby."

"Okay." She muttered. He watched her drift off into sleep with no problem.

He kissed the back of her head and pulled himself closer to her.

***

"How did you sleep?" Behar asked her as she sat herself down on the couch.

"The same, just in a much comfier bed with Jamie and Bailey." Emily yawned.

She had managed to pop a painkiller before Jamie woke up, that way she could be in a calm state of mind when it came to dealing with her parents.

"What in the hell happened?" Shawn asked, with his arms crossed.

She could never lie to her dad. She wasn't ready to tell him that she lost her baby. But she had no choice.

"Just a second. I want Heather and Randy in here too." Emily got up and made her way down to the rec room where Jamie was with his parents and Jordie, "can you all come up to the living room, Jamie and I need to tell y'all something."

Looking at Jamie he had a look of worry on his face. Jordie's read the same, being that him and Jess were the only ones that knew.

Leading her boyfriend and her in-laws to the living room Jamie grabbed her arm before they went in.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked, concerned.

"Yeah. It's better to get it off our chests now I think." She stated.

"I love you. Let's do this." He placed a kiss on her forehead gently.

"I love you too."

Taking a deep breath he lead her into the living room, sitting down on a spot on the couch Jamie wrapped his arm protectively around her shoulder as she gripped his leg tightly.

"So what happened to make you lose so much blood in the hospital?" Her mom asked.

"Jamie and I. We were actually expecting a baby." Emily said quietly.

"Were?" Heather asked.

"Yeah. I was 10 weeks along. We were getting ready to tell everyone to the other night. And then everyone here in a few weeks when y'all were coming down. And then in the accident..." She trailed off, shaking, trying not to cry.

"She miscarried due to the accident." Jamie choked out.

"Oh my God." Behar gasped.

***

"I think I want to take a bath." Emily piped up quietly from the bed.

Jamie had been working on some pre-hip surgery paperwork from the small desk they had in their room, he had to carry her upstairs after announcing their miscarriage because she was so distraught, not that he was much better. He thought she was asleep but apparently not.

"Yeah? Do you want me to run it for you?" He turned in the chair to look at her.

"Please. With Epsom salts and my lavender bath oil. And you in it too."

"I think my hips will appreciate that."

They had been bugging him again. It was constantly getting worse and worse, he only had one more month and then he could get the surgery.

He was hoping Emily had started easing off the pain killers for both of their sakes. She had an extremely addictive personality, and her past drug use made him concerned.

Once the bath tub was full he helped her ease into the tub. It was the first time he had seen her
naked since the accident and seeing the bruises on her ribs made him tear up a little.
It had been such a longtime since he had seen bruises all over her of a violent colour, but those were by choice through rugby. It was usually him that sported bruises and black eyes.

"Are you coming in babe?" She turned around to look at him.

"Yeah, sorry. I was just inspecting your bruises." He murmured, "I almost lost you."

"No you didn't. And you wouldn't. I'd haunt you all the time. I'd move around all your stuff."

She knew how much he hated when his stuff moved without him knowing. It took a while to adjust to the new house, making a routine.

"I hate that so much." He groaned, leaning back into the tub.

"I know." She laughed, "at least I'll be all recovered by the time you go for surgery."

"I'm nervous. We're gonna do one hip first and then go back a week after in New York."

"You'll be fine. You're in amazing shape so you'll bounce back quickly. I'll be there with you the entire time." She said assuringly, tracing along some outlines on his sleeve.

"Hmm. It's still going to be hard. I still wanna try to get up to Kelowna this summer." He pulled her back gently against him.

"Me too. I think it'll help us heal and get over everything if we get up to the lake house and out of Dallas. Maybe go out to Tofino as well."

"We'll go. I love seeing you out in the sun or on the boat."

"I love seeing you driving the boat."

"I want you so bad. How long do we have to wait before I can make love to you."

"I see the gynaecologist tomorrow. I'm going to get an IUD put back in though."

The fact she didn't make any sexual advances back to him threw him off. And she was getting a contraceptive as well, that made him sad.

"So you don't want to have a baby?" He muttered.

"I do want one Jamie. I just don't think we were entirely ready for one. Clearly God didn't have that planned for us right now."

He couldn't believe she was pulling that excuse, she just didn't want a baby.

"You aren't fucking pulling that shit right now are you?"

"What?"

"You know what, the whole higher figure has it planned in the stars for us. I hate it when you do that." He growled.

"Jamison! Stop it." She turned around sharply and pointed a finger at him.

"Don't you point that fucking finger at me. I need to fucking get out."

He was seeing red.

"I still want to have a baby. I think we shou-"

"Can you just fucking move so I can get fucking out." He demanded.

"Your being immature." She slid up so he could get out.

"I'm going to bed." He stated as he wrapped a towel around himself.

"Could you at least help me get out. I was in a car accident a few days ago."

He knew he should help her. If he had walked away she would have gotten even more pissed. And he did not want to be onto the receiving end of her fury and start a knock down drag out fight.

He huffed and helped her out, proceeded by handing her a towel as well.

Not saying another word he dried off and brushed his teeth before putting some underwear on. He could feel Emily's eyes on him the entire time. Taking a quick glance back at her she in fact did have her eyes on him with her arms crossed. He couldn't really take her seriously with her nose bandaged.

She was pissed.

He stomped into bed and pulled the blankets over his head without turning the lights off. She would, she always does.

Hearing her shuffle into bed she laid at the complete opposite end of it, with Bailey in the middle. A few moments later he heard the whimper. He hated going to bed angry. Within seconds she was full out bawling and Bailey was up immediately at her side trying to calm her down.

"Bailey, let me see her." Jamie said quietly to the fluffy black Australian Shepherd, Bailey just jumped over to the other side of her, "Em, babe. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"You know you can be such an asshole sometimes." She whimpered, pushing him away.

"I know. I'm sorry. Come here." He pulled her in so she couldn't fight against him.

"Inconsiderate asshole." She choked.

"Hey. Inconsiderate is pushing it." He laughed.

She cried herself to sleep as he rocked her.

Notes