Love Triangle

You knew this had to be done, because it was going to happen eventually – and it probably would’ve hurt worse if you extended the time. You had to rip the bandaid off right when it was fresh, because letting the bandaid stay there was only going to cause it to stick to the scars and sting like the biggest bitch when you wanted to finally yank it off.
“I really don’t want to move.”
You toyed with his fingers and your mouth was hidden in the crook of his arm. Your back was against his side while he casually leaned back against the couch and rested his head on yours. “To be honest, neither do I,” you grumbled.
“You have to go, though.”
“I know.”
A pair of lips pressed against the back of your head and you felt a sigh leave Tyler’s lips. “I’m a terrible friend, aren’t I?” he murmured. That was perhaps the first time you ever heard sadness in Tyler’s voice – god, how you hoped that was the last time as well. All you wanted to do was turn around and kiss him until that frown he was most likely wearing was turned upside-down, but that wouldn’t be appropriate.
“Technically, yes. But, if we were speaking on technicalities, I should’ve technically not found you attractive, not hung out with you when Jamie was off doing captain shit and we were alone in the locker room, not kissed you when our alcohol levels were a tad higher than normal, and not picked you over Jamie. Jamie is probably the more ideal guy, but I chose you.”
“Thanks,” Tyler said dryly, playfully squeezing you against his side.
You couldn’t help to giggle at his actions and tilted your head back to rest it on his chest. Your eyes met that pair of mesmerizing brown eyes, and you mentally added how he technically shouldn’t have such beautiful eyes that hypnotized you every time you looked into them. “But you’re the more ideal guy for me,” you whispered.
“A terrible person who helps his best friend’s girlfriend cheat on him after he tried setting them up? Yeah. What an ideal guy.”
You frowned. “Tyler, stop speaking like you’re a selfish, coldhearted bastard,” you hissed. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone look so guilty as often you did whenever you were with Jamie. Hell – I don’t think I have ever felt so guilty whenever I was with Jamie. It’s not like we were saying, ‘Screw Jamie and all his feelings,’ every time we were together. None of this was on purpose; everything was by accident.”
You stared at each other for the longest time before Tyler whispered, “Do you regret us? Do you wish ‘we’ never happened? Do you wish you loved only Jamie?”
“Even if there was no ‘us,’ I know I wouldn’t have lasted long with Jamie. Like I said, he’s the ideal guy – just not my ideal guy.” You pushed yourself up and out of Tyler’s arms. You smiled sadly at him and said, “We both know what I have to go do now.”
*
“Knock, knock,” you sang, opening the unlocked door to Jamie’s hotel suite. He actually shared the suite with Tyler, but you both agreed that Tyler wouldn’t show up for the next few hours after you texted him that everything was said and done.
A groan met your ears and you went farther into the suite, closing the door behind you. You didn’t know what to expect to happen – if Jamie would possibly get angry and violent, or something else that was seemingly out of character for the level-headed captain you knew – so you wanted to keep the door unlocked in case an emergency escape was needed.
“Jamie?”
“Do you have to speak so loud?” he responded gruffly while you walked around the corner and found the big goof sprawled across an island that was the borderline between the kitchen and living room.
You smiled sympathetically at the sight and walked over, immediately placing a hand on his back to rub soothing circles. “Did you already take some Advil?” you asked softly.
“Yes. Just five minutes ago.”
“It should kick in soon enough.”
“I hope to God it does.”
Silence filled the hotel suite and all you did was rub Jamie’s back and listen to him groan in pain.
Not long before did he speak – or more like grumble. “How’s Seguin?”
Your hand froze for a split second before you continued to rub his back in soothing circles. You pulled over a bar stool and sat down. “He’s fine. More fine than you, it seems,” you weakly joked and it earned a pain-filled chuckle.
“Lucky bastard,” he grumbled, keeping his eyes closed shut. “I probably should’ve been the one to leave with you instead.”
Your heart squeezed. This wasn’t the right time, especially not when Jamie was physically in pain. “Yeah,” you squeaked. “Probably.”
*
After an hour of sitting there, rubbing circles, Jamie finally managed to push himself off the island and walk around. He winced here and there, but was at least somewhat functional.
“Where is Seguin?” Jamie inquired curiously, chugging down a bottle of water in less than a blink of an eye. “Shouldn’t he have returned with you?”
“He told me he and Jordie had plans to go see the wax museum or something with some players from one of the New York teams,” you said, shrugging. It wasn’t fully a lie. Tyler actually canceled on the plans a few days ago, because he thought he was going to be hammered after last night’s party, but… since the plans obviously changed, he hopped back onboard.
“I thought he canceled.”
You hated all these lies. Jamie didn’t deserve them. He didn’t deserve any of this – especially not what was to come. “I don’t know. I thought so also,” you said, leaning forward on the island and resting your chin on the palm of your hand. “Jamie…”
He rested his hands on the opposite side of the island and looked at you with those big, brown eyes that honestly warmed your heart. He looked almost like a wounded puppy with the pain he was obviously masking behind those eyes and… You really hated yourself right now.
“I think we need to break up.”
Silence.
He blinked.
Silence.
You blinked.
Silence.
“What?” he breathed, his eyes going wide in shock. The pain became more evident in his eyes now, but it was no longer over the hangover. “Need to? I don’t think we need to do that. More like you want to.” He caught your flinch from his words and immediately softened. “I’m not gonna hurt you like I do to the other players on the ice,” he said softly, reaching out and slipping his hand over your free one. “I’m just… shocked.”
There was strange feeling of disappointment running through your system. Maybe you wanted him to go into full fury and rage over your sudden breakup, because honestly, you wouldn’t have seen it coming if you were in his position. Maybe you wanted an excuse to use that quick escape.
Maybe you wanted Jamie to hate you, because a hate-filled Jamie was easier than a hurt, forgiving one.
“I’m sorry,” you uttered, hot tears pricking your eyes.
He weakly smiled. “Don’t be. I saw it coming.”
You blinked in surprise and immediately retracted your hand from his. “What?” you exclaimed, the tears trekking down your cheeks. When he winced at the loud noise, you added, more quietly, “Sorry.”
“Y/N, I’m not blind,” Jamie said, his smile weakening even more. “I had a feeling you n’ Seguin were doing something behind my back. I could tell every time you two were together and… and it was almost like everyone, including me, were gone from the face of the Earth and it were only you two left.”
“Jamie…”
“I can’t blame you,” he continued. God. You hated this. You wanted Jamie to be pissed; not forgiving. You wanted him to look at you in disgust and hatred; not sadness and defeat. “No matter what I tried, we just never had that connection you and Seguin have. Everything’s my fault. If I weren’t so stubborn that I could make you fall in love with me, you two would probably be off to Vegas right now to get hitched.”
You knew tears ran down your face, but you didn’t realize how hard you were crying and shaking. You were probably in a worser condition than Jamie, but then again, he just masked it better. “None of this is your fault, Jamie…”
“Yes, it is.” He sighed and ran a hand over his face. “Y/N, I don’t even love you.”
You felt so selfish by the way your heart broke at his words. You didn’t deserve his love. You didn’t even love him, so why did it hurt hearing him say that? Because you were selfish.
“I mean, I love you as a close friend, but I just never got into the relationship either. I was just selfish, feeling satisfied that I publicly had something Tyler didn’t. I’m a terrible friend.”
Tyler’s words echoed in your head. You pushed yourself onto your feet and walked around the island, throwing your arms around his neck and burying your face in his warm chest. “Technically, you are. But, if we were speaking on technicalities, we technically should be in love,” you whispered, your voice breaking a dozen times as you spoke.
“No, if we were speaking on technicalities, you should be dating Seguin instead.” His arms wrapped around your waist as you were engulfed in the hug. “All three of us are to be blamed.”
“Mhmm…”
“If you don’t mind, though, I’m gonna punch Seguin in the face when he comes back.”
A watery laugh escaped your lips as you stepped back, lifting your hand to wipe your tears when Jamie’s already was wiping them for you. “I think I deserve the punch instead.”
“We’re hockey players. That’s how we communicate,” Jamie retorted with a slightly stronger smile. “Do you want to stay for some breakfast?”
You rubbed your neck unsurely, muttering, “I don’t know.”
“Even if this will be the most awkward breakfast we’ll ever have, I rather make an attempt of being friends now than later when it’s possibly too late.”
You caught the sleeve of the black tee Jamie wore last night when he turned around and started walking away, stopping him in his tracks. “Don’t think just because I didn’t end up falling for you, no other girl would,” you said softly, being completely honest and genuine. “You’re an amazing boyfriend and another girl’s Mr. Right.”
He smiled and patted your hand, saying, “Thanks.”
You retracted your hand and returned to your spot at the island while Jamie went to make cereal.
“You know, just saying, this technically calls for breakup sex.”
You smirked at Jamie’s awkwardly playful attempt at a joke and propped your chin up on the palm of your hand. “If we were speaking on technicalities, you technically should find a rebound chick.”
“Party pooper.”
For the next week, Tyler had a hideous black-and-blue bruise over his left eye that you shamelessly laughed at every time you saw it. You spent that very next week or so still hiding your relationship with Tyler, so that people would consume the fact that you and Jamie broke up without jumping to conclusions that you were some cheating bitch if they knew, after the breakup, you immediately “started” dating his best friend.
Everyone assumed his black eye was from an incident at practice. The black eye that lasted for the rest of the month, on the other hand, was believed to be from a hurt Jamie after news that you and Tyler started going out spread. That one was from an actual incident at practice, or so Jamie and Tyler claimed.

Notes