Relationship status: In Love with my Career

Taking a puck to the eye is not as bad as it sounds. It could have been worse, for sure, but it missed the important parts in my eye and I can still see just fine. I got some stitches and was back on the bench for the last period, and I even picked up an assist. After the game I had a pretty bad looking black eye so I went out with a few guys, and I made sure we went to a well-lit bar so I could show off the damage. As Evgeni Malkin once said, “girls love.” My eye was all red and I had some decent colors forming around it, topped of with a row of stitches- the girls definitely loved it.

As expected, a nursing student approached me first. “That looks bad, you really shouldn’t be out tonight.” Whatever, I shrugged. “No, really. If you want to see properly out of that eye again you should be at home resting, maybe icing it to get the swelling down.” Oh really? I might need some help with that, why don’t you take me home and show me how to- “Sorry, I don’t mess around with fuckboys,” she held up her hand to stop me and shook her head with a smile.

“Can I at least get your name?” It’s worth a shot. “In case I need some medical advice.” She looked me over for a moment before shrugging. “Andy.”

Nurse Andy. I’ve definitely thought about her a few times since then, but I haven’t run into her again. She said she was a nursing student, but maybe she was just visiting. Who knows, but there were plenty of other interested girls that night, so I didn’t dwell on her rejection long. I brought home an ‘Ashlynn’ who insisted on taking care of me, and she definitely took care of me well. She even made me breakfast before she had to leave for class, and left me her number if I ‘needed any help.’ I didn’t keep the number, although she made some fantastic pancakes. The rest of the week was filled with ‘Ashlynn-types’ who tried to carefully touch the stitches and say “ouch, that must have hurt” with a concerned expression. I always shrug and say ‘it wasn’t too bad,’ (in fact, it had hurt like hell), and let them inspect it before adding: ‘you know what might make it feel better?’ It’s such a lame line, but it works so well.

The eye looked pretty bad for a few days before the color started return to normal, but the stitches would probably leave a scar for a while. Girls always go for the injured look- for some reason, seeing a guy with a cast, stitches, or anything like that, makes them want to ‘comfort’ us. Maybe an injury adds an element of toughness, or it brings out some weird maternal instinct in girls (those are the kinds you want to avoid), but an injury is always beneficial in some way. However, I would never purposefully get hurt to pick up girls. I can do that just fine with my health intact.

Notes

A video of Jake’s injury: http://www.cbssports.com/nhl/eye-on-hockey/25324582/watch-canucks-rookie-jake-virtanen-scored-a-goal-with-his-face