Russian Roulette

After six hours of reconstructing the ligament I was finally closing him up. I knew my work was flawless and I knew that no other resident could do what I just did.

“I gotta hand it to you Quinn, it looks great,” Matt says impressed.

“Yeah I-“ I stop when I see him. There in the corner Dr. Reid was standing holding a mask over his face.

“Dr. Eriksson when you’re done closing the patient up I’d like a word. I’ll page you after,” he says calmly. He leaves and I look at both the guys. They both look scared and pale. I finish closing and scrub out while Elias and Matt transfer Geno onto a bed. They wheel him out to post-op and I curl up in the chair and wait for him to wake up. Twenty minutes later I’m watching his eyelids flutter when he starts waking up. He opens his eyes and smiles when he sees me.

“Привет, красавиц (hello beautiful),” he says smiling.

“You’re awake,” I reply.

“How it go?” he asks.

“Perfect,” I say smiling. My pager goes off a feeling of dread washes over me. I was surely going to lose my job. “Well wish me luck.”

“Good luck.”
I get up and kiss him before heading towards the chief of surgery’s office. I get there and Dr. Collins is sitting at the head of the table and Dr. Reid is standing behind him. I close the door and Dr. Collins gestures for me to sit at the table. I sit down silently waiting to be yelled at.

“Being a doctor is all about making judgment calls and today you made a bad call. You have been one of the best surgeons at this hospital but today I’m disappointed. Your reckless actions put this hospital at risk,” Dr. Collins says evenly. I look down unable to make eye contact.

“For your actions you will be suspended. You will need to attend a medical board hearing so they can decide whether or not your license should be revoked.”

“Alright. Thank you sir,” I say quietly.

“Don’t thank me yet. If Mr. Malkin has a complication from surgery leading to an infection or even death, that’s on you. But I’m sure you already know that,” Dr. Collins tells me. “You’re free to go.” I get up and leave the room with Dr. Collin’s words echoing through my head. I run to the bathroom where I expel my stomach’s contents. I flush the toilet and splash water on my face and look at my reflection. My blue eyes look intense in contrast to my pale face. I dry my face and walk towards the locker room where I find Elias and Matt talking.

“Hey what happened? Are we fired?” Elias asks.

“Are you fired?” Matt asks.

“No nobody’s fired, relax,” I tell them.

“He didn’t fire you?” Elias asks in disbelief.

“I’m suspended for now and I have to attend a medical board hearing.” I reply.

“Well at least you’re not fired!” Matt exclaims. I knew I should feel more excited but I couldn’t get Collin’s words out of my head. What if something bad happened to Geno, it would be all my fault.

“I gotta see G, I’ll see you guys later. Or maybe not,” I say correcting myself. I didn’t know how long I’d be suspended for. I head to post-op where I find him sleeping. I quietly sit and watch his chest rise and fall. I wanted to sleep but I was too scared something was going to happen him. I sit there while my brain thought of all the possible things that could go wrong. I was constantly checking his vitals and his incision site for signs of infection. It scared me how in deep I was for this man. I think about the reckless act I just pulled and I can’t believe I did it. Was I crazy? I never in my right mind would have pulled a stunt like that. I had always been a reckless but not with my job, not with other people’s lives. This whole being in love thing was staring to feel intense. After having the longest night of my life the sun slowly rises and the morning nurse comes and checks Geno’s vitals. His eyes open and he stretches.

“What happened?” he asks me.
“I got suspended,” I reply.

“But no fire?”

“No,” I say shaking me head. “Looks like I’ll be home to take care of you.”

“Be nice having own doctor,” he says smiling.

Geno got discharged a few days later and I brought him home. He was in the living room watching TV while I was in the kitchen trying to cook.

“What smell?” he asks. I look at the oven and I realize our frozen dinner is burning. I open the oven and take out the now black pasta and throw it in the sink.

“For fuck’s sake,” I say angrily. The smoke alarm goes off and I grab a dishtowel and start waving it in front of the alarm. Geno comes in on his on his crutches with a concerned look on his face.

“I’m sorry your girlfriend is the least domestic person ever.”

“Is fine. I still love,” he says smiling. The smoke alarm stops beeping and Luka comes out of his hiding spot.

“Let’s order in,” I suggest. He nods and I order Chinese. Geno goes back to the living room and I start doing laundry. I had become bored at home so menial things like laundry suddenly got more appealing. I hear him call my name and I go downstairs to see what he wants.

“Da?” I ask.

“Pass water?” he asks. I go to the kitchen and grab him a bottle of water. I pass it to him and check his incision and check his temperature. I know I was being paranoid but even if the slightest thing was wrong, I had to be on top of it. I head to the kitchen and think about what my life had become. I felt like a stepford wife who had to cook and clean for her husband. I know Geno just had surgery on his knee but his lack of mobility made it hard for him to do day-to-day tasks, which meant I had to pick up the slack. I head outside and check the mailbox and I find a letter from the Pennsylvania board of medicine. I suddenly feel nauseous and I open it and find the time and date of my hearing. I exhale deeply and walk inside and make a mental note to find a lawyer.

We headed to the rink a week later to see the guys. I don’t know why he wanted me there, I guess he must have noticed how bored I was. We walked into Consol and headed to the locker room.

“Are you sure I should be in here?” I ask him.

“Is fine,” he reassures me. He hobbles in on his crutches and the team had just finished practice.

“Geno!” They all exclaim loudly. He receives hugs and back pats and I stand there awkwardly.

“Hey Doc!” Beau says smiling.

“Hey,” I reply.

“G how’s the knee?” Flower asks.

“Is alright,” he replies. I look towards the corner where the team doctor’s and trainers are standing and
they’re all staring at me.
‘They can finally put a face to the psycho girlfriend that operated on Geno’s knee,’ I think to myself.

“Hey Doc are you taking good care of G?” Pascal asks.

“Trying to. He makes it kind of hard,” I say smiling. I let Geno catch up so I sit beside Sid on a bench.

“How are you holding up?” Sidney asks me.

“I’m okay. I mean I’m happy I can be home with him but under the circumstances it doesn’t feel great,” I reply.

“Well he looks like he’s doing well so you must have done something right,” he smiles.

A week later I was in Harrisburg, PA sitting in a waiting room with my lawyer. My stomach was in knots and I kept going over the pointers Clint had told me.

“Remember just let me take the lead,” Clint tells me. I nod and continue tapping my foot nervously. A woman wearing a black pencil skirt and a white blouse calls my name and Clint and I follow her into a conference room where three doctors are sitting on one side.

“Dr. Eriksson, please have a seat,” the man in the middle says. I silently sit down and wait for them to say something.

“I’m Dr. Smith, and this is Dr. Silverman and Dr. Adams,” the man on the left tells me. I smile and shake their hands.

“Dr. Collins, your chief of surgery told us about the incident that occurred a couple weeks prior. You lied and went behind your attending’s back and performed a surgery way beyond your skill level. You preformed an experimental surgery that’s not legal yet in the states. You put the hospital at risk for liability and on top of all that you operated on a loved one. Is this correct?” Dr. Silverman asks. I look at Clint and he nods.

“Yes,” I reply evenly.

“My client’s patient was well aware of the procedure and it’s risks. I have legal documentation here of him consenting to it.” Clint says while handing them papers.

“You did a really reckless thing with another persons life. Normally this would be grounds for getting your licensed revoked but yes, legally your patient consented to the surgery and was aware of who was performing it. Your hospital is currently going through a large lawsuit so this incident needs to be handled discretely. For your actions, your license will be suspended indefinitely,” Dr. Adams tells me.

“This suspension will follow you around for the rest of your medical career. If you ever cross the line regarding ethics again, your license will be revoked,” Dr. Silverman says seriously.

“I understand. Thank you,” I reply. The hearing ends so I go outside and sit down on a bench. I couldn’t believe I still had my license. Was Geno worth all this? I had an uneasy feeling about the whole situation.

Notes