Russian Roulette

Preseason came and I was getting anxious for the arrival of our little one. At 36 weeks pregnant, everything was sore and I felt huge and awkward. It was getting harder to operate so Jameson did most of the surgeries. I was constantly urinating and I definitely didn’t feel like I was glowing.
I waddle to the nurse’s station where Matt is updating charts.

“How’s it going?” he asks.

“Ugh terrible. I’m so over being pregnant,” I tell him.

“Just wait until the baby comes, you’ll be wishing you were pregnant again.”

“Yeah probably.”

“How’s Geno?”

“He’s good. He’s excited the season will be starting soon.”

“Are you due before regular season?” he asks.

“Yeah I’m due on the 20th. Regular season starts on October 3rd,” I reply.

“What if he’s away when you go into labor?” I stop what I’m doing and look at him.

“Oh my god I never even thought of that!” I yell.

“Sorry.”

“Well he’s away right now and then he’s home for a bit so fingers crossed.”

“If you’re alone you can always call me and Elias, we’ll be there for you.”

“That’s sweet. Thanks buddy.” He gets a page and leaves me to update my charts.

I get home after my shift and head to the nursery. We had got it ready in a week thanks to a team of designers, painters and furniture movers. I sit in the rocking chair and stare at the crib. My entire life was going to change soon and I didn’t know if I was ready. Being good at school, I was used to researching but no amount of books or studying was going to prepare me for motherhood. I suddenly wish my mother were here. This was the kind of thing you go to your mother for. I was so young when she died I don’t remember what having a mother is like. What if I’m terrible? What if the kid grows up resenting me? My phone rings pulling me out of my reverie.

“Hello?” I answer.

“Hi, how are you?” Geno asks.

“I’m okay,” I say and my voice cracks. My vision becomes blurry and my throat tightens.

“Why crying?” he asks concerned.

“I’m scared and these pregnancy hormones are amplifying my emotions.”

“Why scared?”

“What if I’m a terrible mother? I don’t know how to be a mom.”

“You be best mom. How I know? Cause you best wife. You have big heart and I help. We do it
together,” he says gently and I smile.

“I’m also scared I’m going to go into labor and you’re not going to be here.”

“If I’m gone I get on next plane and come.”

“I’ll hold him in until you get here,” I joke. I look at the painting on the blue wall and sigh. It was a painting of an outdoor rink in the winter. It calmed me just looking at it.

“I have to go. Don’t have baby without me,” he tells me.

“I’ll try. Bye Zhenya. Love you.”

“Love you.” We hang and I stare and the painting and rub my stomach. I needed to remind myself that I wasn’t alone in this. I would have Geno by my side throughout this entire thing. The gentle rocking was making me tired so I close my eyes and drift into a light sleep.

“Ow,” I say through my teeth the next day.

“Are you okay?” the patient asks. I was working in the E.R. and I was having Braxton Hicks contractions.

“I’m okay. Sorry.” I finish setting his finger and put it in a splint and discharge him. I get up and head to the fourth floor, which is the maternity ward. I would be here soon. I’m peering in at all the babies when my pager goes off. I roll my eyes and waddle to Reid’s office.

“Yes?” I say once I get there.

“Have a seat,” Jameson says smiling. My feet were killing me so I give in.

“What is it?”

“I heard about the stunt you pulled last year. I gotta say I’m impressed. I didn’t think you were that ballsy.”

“How is this relevant to anything?” I ask.

“I’m surprised you didn’t get fired.”

“I got suspended.”

“So how’s Malkin doing since you operated?”

“Fantastic. He was back playing within six months and he’s been at the top of his game ever since,” I tell him.

“Love makes you do crazy things hey?” I get another contraction and I wince. “Whoa are you okay?”

“They’re not real contractions, relax.” I change my position and the contraction eases up. “I have a question. Why are you here?”

“I actually did my internship here long ago and me and Collins have been friends ever since,” he replies. That’s just great. They’re life long friends.

“I hope you’re not hoping to stay here long.”

“No just keeping this spot warm for you,” he smiles. I get up and head to the deserted hallway.

“It feels weird being an attending,” I tell the guys.

“I still feel like a resident,” Matt replies. I burp loudly and they both look at me strangely.

“Okay I’m super pregnant. You’re not allowed to judge.” Elias chuckles and I shrug.

“You’re waddling and peeing every five minutes, safe to say the baby dropped,” Matt says.

“You bet. Geno gets home in two days so I just have to wait till then,” I reply. I get a page and head to the clinic.

A week later I was at the Penguins game. I was sitting in the wives box watching Geno play the Stars. I had lost my mucous plug the day before so I knew that I might go into labor soon.

“You’re glowing!” Vero says when she sees me.

“Thank you,” I reply smiling.

“Are you excited?” Catherine asks.

“I am! Nervous also.”

“How far along are you?” Maureen asks.

“38 weeks,” I reply.

“Oh so close!” she says excitedly.
It was the third period and the score was tied at 3. I’m texting Elias when I suddenly feel my water break. I sit there calmly and watch the game go into overtime. ‘Come on, come on’ I silently plead. Sidney passes the puck to Geno and he skates it between the defense and get’s it in the back of the net. I stand up and yell.

“Oh my god, Quinn,” Audrina says while looking at my seat.

“Oh yeah my water broke,” I say casually and everyone stops to stares at me.

Notes