(FYI: this is my FAVORITE picture of him. Good Lord, look at that body...)

It was bizarre to see him standing there after so long, smiling, saying, “Hello, sweetheart,” as if he had never left. So bizarre that all Ryan could do was keep smiling and say, “Hello.”

He looked behind her and asked with a grin, “There isn’t another man in there, is there?”

Ryan sobered quickly, suddenly appalled that he would even think that. “No…no, Raff…no.”

He leaned forward, his mouth inches from hers. “Then let me in, you little devil. I missed you.”

She stepped back, he stepped in, dropping his bag, and then he pulled her into his arms, kissing her madly and humming contentedly as he did so, like he couldn’t be happier.

Between presses of his lips she asked, “Why are you home early? You should have called.”

“I got bored in Prague, took an earlier flight. And I wanted to surprise you. Are you surprised?”

“Very much.”

He grunted and yanked off her shirt, pulling her body back against his as he kissed her again. His mouth worked down her neck soon and Ryan moaned loudly at the sensation. Goddamn, he felt so good after being without for so damn long.

“Bedroom…bedroom, Raff.”

“No, here.” He pulled her towards the living room and then onto the couch. She straddled his hips and leaned down to kiss him again.

He bucked up against her and Ryan laughed at his enthusiasm. She asked jokingly, but not really, “Euro girls couldn’t satisfy you, huh?”

He stopped everything and held her face still, forcing her to look into his eyes that were deadly serious. “There was no one else. No one, Ry. You believe me…don’t you?”

Ryan licked her lips and swallowed as she surveyed him. Contessa’s voice was in the back of her head, practically yelling at her to say the right thing. She managed, “Yes. I believe you.”

She bent to kiss him, but he stopped her. “You tell me now. Tell me the truth.”

“Come on, Mike.”

“No, I want to know. Everything. Right now.”

The look she was giving him made him terrified of her answer and suddenly he was fighting an faint urge to cry. What the hell had he done by leaving? What had she done? Why wouldn’t she say anything?

He whispered her name, his voice raw with pain. “Ryan…just tell me.”

He barely heard her say, “I tried. It didn’t work.”

Now he really was going to cry. He pushed her backwards, pulling his lower body free of her as he sat up on the couch now. He couldn’t look at her, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave either.

Ryan was confused to what the hell was happening and only managed, “Raff…”

He had no right to do so, but he asked her anyway, “How could you do this? How could you read my letters that I put my heart into and then sleep with someone else?”

Ryan, indignant, yelled, “What?!”

He still couldn’t look at her. “What do you mean, what?”

She grabbed his face and roughly made him look at her. “You are a real fucking idiot, you know that? That’s not at all what I meant. I tried to sleep with someone else, I went to the bar every night for a week and kissed a pile of men, but I went home alone every damn time. If you wanna be mad at me for kissing them, go ahead, but I didn’t sleep with anyone else. I swear to God, I didn’t. That’s what I meant. I tried to be with someone else, but it didn’t work.”

Oh, God, his heart was going to explode, he was sure of it. “Really? Honestly? You’re telling the truth?”

“Of course, you moron. You believe me?”

“Yes, yes, I believe you.” He shifted, cradled her face in his hands, the urge to cry present again, but this time in a very good way. He spoke with awe when he said, “You waited for me.”

Ryan was breathless and it had nothing to do with their kisses. She was in shock and also very uncomfortable with all this emotional hootenanny she wasn’t expecting to be flooded with today. She hadn’t even had a chance to mentally prepare because he had just showed up. She finally muttered, “Yeah…I guess I did. So why the fuck are you still making me wait?”

His smiled returned with a vengeance. “Oh my God, sweetheart, you are everything.”

Finally, he kissed her again, shifting them until she was on her back and he was pulling off her leggings and panties. He stripped off his shirt and her hands came to his chest, stroking his soft skin stretched over hard muscle. Now she was panting because of him, because of this body she had missed so much.

“I don’t tell you this enough, but you are so fucking gorgeous, Mike.”

He grinned as he left one of her hands on his chest, but pulled the other down towards his jeans. Wordlessly, Ryan sat up and used both hands to free his cock. It was more beautiful than she remembered, and also harder than she had ever felt him. She used two hands to caress his shaft and Michael’s head lulled back.

“Oh, God…I have been dreaming about your hands.”

“Just my hands?” Before he could answer, she leaned forward and ran her tongue over his tip, licking up the precome that was oozing out at a rapid pace.

Michael’s eyes were closed, breaths heavy. “Fuck…yes, also your mouth.”

“Mmm, nothing else?” She let go of him and when he opened his eyes she was leaned back again, a hand rubbing her pussy as her hips shifted and her mouth fell open.

He grabbed her wrist, pulling it away from her body. He pressed down, his cock pressed in, and his face was nestled into her neck as she moaned into his ear.

Now Ryan felt like she might cry, just because it felt so damn good, so right to filled by him again. “Mike…I missed this.”

It was something, but he wanted more. He planked his body over hers, let his hips thrust between her thighs as he looked down at her. “Me…you missed me.”

Typical Ryan, she just laughed. “I missed how hard you make me come.”

Michael let it go because he could see the truth on her face. He also saw how aroused she was already. He concentrated on speeding up, fucking into her hard and rough like he couldn’t get deep enough fast enough. He was on point as usual, Ryan was right there, so close and he let her go, stroking deep as she clenched around him, grabbing his biceps with both hands as she came down.

He held back, slowed down and now came closer to kiss her neck and then along her chest. He whispered against her skin. “You try to hide it from me, but I know, Ryan. I see it in your eyes. You waited for me. You missed me. I don’t care if you never say it, just let me look into your eyes and I see all I need to know.”

He rose to meet her gaze, which was nervous and became even more so under his intense glare. Not only did Ryan not want to talk about this kind of shit, but she also didn’t like the fact that he could take one look at her and know everything. Damn him all to hell, he just had to make this so hard on her. She broke their eye contact and looked towards the ceiling.

Michael brought her back with his palm on her cheek. “Don’t do that, don’t hide from me. I will never hurt you, Ryan. I don’t know why you’re terrified of that, but I swear to God, I would rather die than hurt you.”

“Mike…”

“Just nod if you believe me.”

Ryan let out a staggered breath and finally nodded. She had looked away again, but he pressed his forehead to hers, so she had no choice but to look into his eyes.

“Sweetheart…I’m sorry, but I need to come and then we will finish this conversation.”

Ryan was so happy he had broken their serious mood that she started giggling. She held him close and kissed him as he thrust a few more times and finished with a groan that was the loveliest sound she had heard in a good long time.

Michael went back to kissing her neck and then down her chest again, still not having gotten enough of the taste of her skin.

“Mmm, can we go to bed now, Raff?”

“We can, because I may never be done with you.”

Both naked, they went upstairs and fell into bed together. Michael rolled onto his back and snuggled his head against the pillow, emitting a low, sexual sound.

“Ugh, this bed…God bless it. I missed it.”

Ryan was chuckling when she laid down next to him, also on her back and for a minute they just enjoyed the bed. It was a comfy thing, a pillow top that made Michael feel like he was lying on a cloud. After a while, without looking at her, he asked, “Are you ever going to tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“Why this is so hard for you.”

Now he turned to look at her and she did the same, giving him a sad, half smile. He was anticipating a harsh retort to shut him up, but she said, “I don’t honestly know, Raff. Maybe? I’m trying.”

“I know you are, sweetheart. And it’s enough for me. I just hate to think of you suffering and me not knowing why.”

“I’m not suffering. The things that have happened to me…happened a long time ago. I don’t think of them often, hardly ever. You don’t need to worry, because I’m happy.”

He smiled now. “Happy with me?”

Ryan sighed, but her own smile brightened. “Well…you do have a really nice cock and you write me beautiful letters.”

This was becoming a habit of hers and Michael thought that he could definitely get used to her reciting all the little ways he pleased her. “What did do with all of them?”

Ryan waved her hand towards her nightstand as he was lying on her side of the bed. He turned and picked up the pile that was now thick and tied with a blue ribbon. He laughed at this last detail. “Where did you even find ribbon?”

Still smiling, Ryan shrugged. “Contessa’s mom had some lying around. I figured you used such nice stationery the least I could do is bind them with style.”

He thumbed through them and then put them back where they had been resting. He couldn’t stop himself from brushing a hand over them delicately as he imagined her reading them here in bed, thinking of him, and then keeping them close.

He turned back towards her, pulling her against him, seeking out the truth in her eyes. He had been telling her the truth earlier, not merely speculating, Ryan’s deep brown eyes could hide nothing from him and he was grateful for that. She met his gaze evenly now, without fear or trepidation. As much as her old instincts were telling her not to, she wanted to badly to believe he would never hurt her and she was going to start working on that right now.

“I want you to know, I meant everything I wrote to you. I know you don’t like me to tell you such things, so that’s why I wrote them. Every word of it was true, Ry.”

She nodded and didn’t look away from him when she said, “I didn’t mind.”

And that was a monumental shift and a simple phrase that made him feel her progress all the way to his soul. Not only had she waited for him, not only had she been faithful (fuck the kisses, he thought, she needed to do that so she could realize she’s mine), not only had he seen in her that she missed him, but now she was telling him that she didn’t mind the sweet nothings he had written. He could have died that very second and been a happy, happy man. The trip, the time away from her was entirely worth the ache in his heart he had suffered, because Ryan had changed, they had changed.

Ryan wanted to say more. To grab the letters and make him read all her favorite parts, which surprisingly weren’t the sexy bits. She wanted to hear in his own voice how he adored her, how he loved her passion, how much she meant to him. And at the same time, she was terrified of that, still not quite ready, so she said nothing. Contessa’s voice was screaming in her head once more that she should tell him that she likes him, really likes him damn it, just say the words, say anything sweet in return for all the praise he had heaped on her in his letters. She felt them bubbling up and even opened her mouth to start. But then she closed it again, her eyebrows coming together and her lips pressing against one another. Thirty years of habits are hard to break, no matter how badly she might want to.

Oh, but sweet Michael, he knew. He looked in her eyes now, and he knew. He kissed her softly, slowly, sweetly and whispered, “You don’t need to say anything. I already know.”

Ryan wanted to cheer, to call Contessa and tell her she had done it: she had somehow made him see without saying it, without sex. She was so proud, of herself, of Michael for being the best sort of man. Her answer was more breath than anything else. “You are amazing. I will tell you everything one day.”

“I know you will, because I intend to make you. Today…your eyes are enough. Now shut up and kiss me again, little devil, because I’m hard and growing harder.”

Ryan wiggled her eyebrows at him, once more filled with adoration for the way he could go from serious to silly in no time flat. “Oh, really? You missed me that much, huh?”

He mumbled a faint, “Yes,” as she climbed on top of his big body. She put her pussy against his abs and pressed back until his cock rested in the cleft of her ass. From there, she shifted her hips to create just enough friction to drive him insane.

His fingers wrapped around her thighs and his voice was ragged. “Ry…”

She leaned down to kiss him, starting on his bearded chin and then working her way up towards his mouth. She panted against his lips as she continued to tease his cock. “Say please, süsser.”

“Oh, mein Gott, too late. I’ve already come, my little German speaking schatz.”

She chuckled at his joke, but asked, “What is that?”

His eyes met hers, pale blue and narrow with lust. “What I always call you: my sweetheart.” He thrust up from underneath her, rubbing his cock against her ass and his pelvis against her pussy. “If you wanted me to call you sweet names in German, all you had to do was ask.”

He did call her sweetheart all the time, but something about the German version and the way it was heavy on his tongue, but light on his lips made her pussy throb for him. “I’m asking now.”

He teased her, smiling and fisting his hand in the hair at the nap of her neck. “Are you? I didn’t hear you ask me anything.”

“Süsser…you’re being very mean to me.”

“And you to me, but we both need that sometimes. It makes us better and you need to learn how to communicate, you know this.” He pulled her face closer to his, using his grip on her hair to bring her down. His breath was hot on her cheek when he demanded, “Ask me. And then I’ll say please.”

Ryan hesitated, only for a moment and mostly because she was lost to the pleasure of his warm body, his hand in her hair, his cock against her ass. “Please…please call me your sweetheart in German.”

“Mmm…with pleasure, mein schatz. Now, please, fuck me. Ride me like you missed me. Like you never want me to leave this bed. Like I am the only man who makes you feel such things as this. Because I am, yes?”

Ryan only nodded and tried to shift her hips to take his cock inside her, but he bucked her forward, pushing her body further up his.

His held her face near his with one hand, but brought the other between them, finding her clit with his thumb. Ryan opened her mouth to gasp and he filled the space with his tongue, kissing her hard, holding her close, and massaging the bundle of nerves at the top of her cunt as she rubbed her lips against his hard body.

He felt her pussy flexing as it pressed against him and he kissed her deeper, rubbed her faster until she came with a whimper in her throat. She stilled and he finally released her hair and her mouth, brushing her cheek with the back of his hand.

Smiling sweetly at her when she opened her eyes he said, “Alright, now you can ride me. Please, schatz.”

Ryan lifted up and reached back to guide him inside her, settling herself against him as her body stretched around him. She sighed and held them there for a moment of stillness. “I would say that I like you asking me for it, but you’re still clearly in charge.”

He gave her a wicked chuckle and thrust up as she rose to start. “And you like it, I know you do. The only place you let a man rule you is here, in bed, with his cock buried in your pussy…”

Ryan went to answer, but he was busy doing exactly what he said, burying himself in her again and again. It took both of her hands and all of her strength to push his hips down against the mattress and she was only successful because he allowed it to happen.

Now she started to set the pace, riding him as he had asked her to. She made long, deep strokes as he held still for her, letting her hips and thighs propel her body over and against his.

Finally, with gasping breaths she told him quietly, “Just you, Mike.”

It took him a minute to focus, because the feel of her pussy around him was incredibly distracting, not to mention the view of her luscious body on top of his. He only uttered, “Huh?”

“Men being in charge, anywhere…I only like it with you.”

Michael groaned and grabbed her thighs so hard he actually hurt his fingers. “Oh, my God! Ryan…why would you say that to me?”

Before she could respond, he flipped them easily and started driving into her, trying to force her towards another orgasm that needed to come soon as he was not going to last very long. She was trying to kill him, he was sure of it. Ryan just laughed and rested her arms against the bed, hands near her head as she let him take control again.

He shook his head and asked, “Why? Tell me why.”

She came up on her elbows, kissing his neck as he leaned his head back. Her teeth nibbled his earlobe, a distraction while she built up the courage to say what she felt. She told him, “Because I trust you. I…I always have, for some reason.”

Michael came unexpectedly, it couldn’t have been stopped, not when she was being this honest, this forthright with her feelings, it was too much. It was perfect and made him feel so much, physically, emotionally, on every level. Ryan smiled and stroked his sweaty back as he jerked between her thighs. She planted a few sweet kisses on his neck until he pulled back to look at her.

“You…Ry…thank you. Thank you so much.”

She grabbed his face with both hands. “Don’t be so nice. I just trust you with my body, but I’m working on the rest.” She kissed his lips and told him again, “I’m trying, Raff.”

“You are doing wonderfully, mein schatz. And I have all the time in the world to wait.”

She told him firmly, like she was trying to convince him as well as herself, “You’re a good man. A damn good one. And I have no idea what you see in me.”

“Shall I tell you? I can read you my letters, tell you everything about you that makes me want to be here.”

She wanted that, but she didn’t. It had been a hard enough afternoon emotionally. She needed a rest. “Some other time, maybe.” She yawned as proof of her assertion, “I need a nap.”

He kissed her forehead and rolled to her side. “Sleep, schatz. I’ll wake you for more sex later.”

“Mmm, good.” She kissed his shoulder, closed her eyes, and was asleep before she knew it.

She woke to the feeling of his cock against her bare ass and his nose nuzzling her hair as he spooned up behind her.

“Are you ready to take me again, mein schatz?”

She made a sleepy groaning sound. “Raff, I’m so hungry. Will you make me something to eat first?”

Now he groaned, more from frustration than anything else, but still, he agreed. “Alright, just for you.”

He hauled himself out of bed and Ryan watched him look around for his clothes before he remembered they were scattered around the living room.

“You should be naked all the time, Raff.”

“Luckily it’s so fucking hot in your house I don’t mind very much.”

Ryan, having lived without air conditioning for years, was used to it. She climbed from the bed and smacked his firm little ass. “I’ll toughen you up yet.”

They went to the kitchen and he was appalled at the state of her refrigerator. “Ry, there’s nothing in here.”

“You know I can’t cook anything. Why would I buy groceries when I can’t turn them into food?”

He sighed and then reached behind her to open the cabinet she was standing next to. He kissed her upturned mouth several times before he looked at the dried goods available. “You get pasta, then. Do you have sauce or anything useful?”

“I have cherry tomatoes…and you must have some left over olive oil and seasonings. Can you do something with that?”

“Yes, sweetheart, I can make that work.”

They ended up with a dish of spaghetti with olive oil, seasoning, and sauteed cherry tomatoes, which was actually quite good. It was the first real food Ryan had had since Michael left for Europe and she was so, so happy about it.

“You make miracles happen, Raff.”

“Thank you. Do I even want to speculate on the state of your laundry?”

Was it possible, did he actually see her blush? Good lord.

“It’s…bad. Worse than normal, I guess.”

He sounded unsurprised when he said, “Hmm, I will do it tomorrow.”

She got up and sat on his lap, both of them still naked. “You don’t have to. I wasn’t saving it for you, I swear. I had planned to do it tomorrow morning before I went to get you from the airport so you would be impressed with me.”

He chuckled and stroked her hair. “Mein schatz, you don’t need to do housework to impress me. Just stand there and I’m blown away.” Ryan smiled, thinking of the dress for Contessa’s hanging in her closet and how she hoped he was more than blown away by it. Michael saw the look in her eye and asked, “What’s that smile about?”

“Contessa’s mom made me buy a new dress for the wedding. I think you’re gonna like it. A lot.”

“You are a master tease, Ryan. Now I’m just going to be thinking about what it could possibly look like for the next few days.”

She started kissing him, his mouth, his cheeks, his jawline, saying in between, “I’ll give you a hint, it’s very dark, very sexy, and it will make you very, very hard.”

“Just like you, little devil. Sounds perfect. But for now…” He lifted her up and then sat her back down on his lap with her legs on either side of him. He shifted once more and pressed his cock between her folds as she sighed and grabbed him behind his neck. “For now, I’ll keep you naked. Ride me again, as punishment for teasing me to badly.”

She held onto his upper body and thrust against him with her hips. The old wooden chair they shared strained underneath them, but held strong. Ryan rode him for a bit and then put her feet on the chair next to his thighs to gain even more leverage, allowing her to rise up and come down on him hard.

Michael grabbed her ass and held on, letting her work him until they were both screaming with pleasure and slick with sweat. That done, they took a shower and he took her to bed, where he had her several more times before they fell back to sleep.

Ryan awoke once again and this time found that he was sleeping on his back and she was on her side with both arms wrapped around one of his. She smiled and kissed his chest before getting up as quietly as possible.

He found her again in the kitchen a little while later, fussing with a mug of tea when he came up behind her. She hadn’t bothered with clothes, but he was dressed. He pressed himself against her back and kissed her neck slowly.

“I’m going to run home, get some clean clothes. When I came back, I’ll do the laundry and fuck you some more.”

“Good plan. Here.”

She grabbed a set of keys off the counter and passed them to him without turning around. He took them and asked, “What’s this?”

“Keys to my house. So you don’t have to knock.”

“Ryan…”

It was a powerful gesture, but he knew she wouldn’t make a big deal of it. She would give him some reason, probably several, that explained how it was just the practical thing to do. He didn’t want practicality to ruin the lovely moment so he just moaned and kissed her neck again.

Her hands were on the counter in front of them and after putting the keys in his pocket he put his palms over them. He pressed her harder against the counter, but his kiss was gentle. Ryan closed her eyes and leaned into it, into him. She was waiting for him to say something about the keys, but when he just kissed her she adored him even more for letting her do this without comment.

When he stopped his kissing and just held her close with an arm around her waist as he smelled her hair, she finally said, “Go home so you can come back, Raff. And don’t forget we leave for Cole Harbour tomorrow so you need to pack for that.”

“I didn’t forget. Pack up your dress while I’m gone, I don’t want to see it. I want it to be a surprise.”

“Such an idiot.”

He pulled off of her and smacked her ass. “Shut up, little devil.”

Now she turned and he kissed her mouth as he had her neck, slowly and with care.

When he pulled away, she met his eyes seriously. “I’m trying to meet you halfway here, so don’t let me down, Raff.”

He told her with equal seriousness, “I will never, mein schatz. Never.”

Notes