Confessions of An Ice Girl

Sitting in the driveway at my parent's home in a small suburb outside of Pittsburgh trying to compose myself before James and I headed inside. My parents knew I had been seeing a guy. They didn't know that he was James Neal and they didn't know I was pregnant. My parents weren't overly strict or anything like that, but I was an only child. "Are you okay?" James asked from the driver's seat of his Ferrari.

"Yeah. I just need a minute." I replied "Ella just kicked me really hard."

James nodded "Do you need anything?" he asked concerned

"No." I replied shaking my head, taking a deep breath and sighing "Let's go. Sooner is better than later."

James got out first and headed to the passenger door, helping me out. He held onto my hand as we walked up to the door. "It's going to be okay." he replied

My mom opened the door to greet us and immediately her face fell. I noticed her expression and I should've grabbed James and left, but before I could make a move, James smiled at my mom and extended his arm "Hi, Mrs. Cartwright. I'm James Neal." he said

My mother ignored his gesture and her eyes drilled holes into me. "Abigail. You're pregnant? And by the looks of it, you're almost ready to deliver."

"Why hello to you too, mom. Yes, I'm pregnant. About 7 1/2 months." I said "Can James and I come in?"

Mom looked over at James, who slowly put his hand in his pocket. "Yes. Come in." Mom said heading inside. James quietly followed me in and stood behind me while mom led us to the living room.

"Where's my little Abby?" I heard dad call looking up from his paper and standing up, his smile faded when he saw my stomach

"Nice meeting you, sir. I'm James Neal." James said extending a shaking hand to my father

My father looked from James then back to me, "Abby? You're pregnant?!"

"Yes, dad. About 7 1/2 months."

"And you're the man responsible?" Dad grumbled turning back towards James

"Yes, sir..." James stammered

"Abigail, have you even thought about how you are going to raise this child? And what about your job?! Isn't it against the rules to sleep with hockey players?!" My mother practically yelled

"I quit the team. So I can raise the baby...and James is going to help me."

My mother snorted "Oh is that so? Or is it your intention to leave my daughter high and dry with this child?"

"That is not my intention, ma'am. I plan on raising this child and helping Abby as much as I can." James' voice was shaky as he spoke and I wish I had just pulled him out that minute and left...

"Is it your intention to marry my daughter?" dad asked

"Dad..." I started

"Uh...I...Abby and I haven't discussed marriage yet, sir...I uh..."

"So you get our baby pregnant and have no plans to marry her?!"

"Dad! Mom! Stop! I am pregnant okay?! And this baby is James' and we are going to be raising her. I thought you would be happy."

"We'd be happier, Abby, had you told us. Or did this one make you keep it from us because of who he is?! Don't want your team knowing you knocked up an ice girl?!"

James looked like a deer in headlights. He had no idea what to say and I didn't blame him. If someone's dad was yelling at me like that, I wouldn't know what to do either. "Can we please just enjoy dinner without this interrogation?" I said
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Dinner wasn't any better. I could barely eat and my parents kept grilling James and I could tell he was super uncomfortable. He kept nervously tapping his leg and looking to me to rescue him from their constant questions and judgement. "James and I have to go. He has to be at Consol early in the morning and I'm not feeling well." I said getting up

"Abby, you know we just want what is best for you and we want to make sure you've fully thought this out. Have you considered adoption?" Mom said

"Why would I put Ella up for adoption when she has two loving parents that are capable of raising her and loving her?!" I snapped

"Ella? You picked out a name?" Mom said

"Yes, mom. Her name is going to be Ella Vivian Neal. Your first grandchild and I thought that you would be happy!" I practically screamed feeling tears run down my face as I ran for the door.

"It was nice meeting you, Mr and Mrs Cartwright. Thank-you for dinner." I heard James say before I stormed out to his Ferrari.

James came out and got in the driver's seat, looking over at me and sighing before driving back to the house. He didn't say a thing the whole way home and honestly? I had nothing to say either. What could I say? I'm sorry my parents treated you like shit for the past hour and a half? I'm sorry that I had a breakdown and stormed out of my parent's home? I had no words. James pulled into the driveway and undid his seatbelt starting to get out, "James..." I said

"Yeah?"

"I don't know if I can do this..."

"What do you mean..." James asked his voice quiet

"I can't do this. I can't deal with this and with being pregnant I just..."

"Abby, what your parents said..."

"What they said is true, James!" I snapped. He looked taken aback by my tone "How are we going to raise a child? What am I going to do when you're on the road 90% of the time? Also where does this relationship even stand? Are we only together because I'm pregnant with your child or are we going to go onto the next level? Am I just going to be known as James Neal's baby momma?"

James' eyes scanned mine "Abby...I...I don't feel that way. I...we can make things work."

"Can we? Because when my dad asked you about marriage you didn't seem to know what to say."

"I didn't know if that's what you would want and I...I didn't want to say something that you didn't agree with..." he stammered "I just...I'm not sure if I am ready to get married yet, Abby..."

I should've just shut up and not said another word, but I was emotional and angry...and unfortunately James was the person I let it out on. "Then we might as well not be together." I snapped

"Are...are you breaking up with me?"

I nodded "Yeah. I'm breaking up with you."

"Abigail...Abby...please...we can make things work, I just..."

"It's done, Neal. I'm going to call Jordyn to come get me."
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I packed a quick bag and walked to the door. James was sitting on the couch his head in his hands. When he heard me come down, he stood up walking to me "Abby, please...just...we're just having a bad night. Let's just sleep on this and if you still want this in the morning, then we can be done...and I'll still be there for you and Ella..." he choked out tears falling down his cheeks

"Nothing will change in the morning, James. I can't do this...I'll send movers to get my stuff ASAP..." James just nodded and dropped back down onto the couch. "Bye, Neal." I said heading out the door when I saw Jordyn's headlights in the driveway. I got to her car and she opened the door for me.

"What the hell happened?" she asked

"I can't be with him anymore, Jordyn. I just have to go." I replied. Jordyn nodded and she drove off. I looked in the mirror seeing our...James'...house fade into the background.
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At first, waking up at Jordyn's was a shock. Then the memory of the previous night came back to me. My parents yelling, me yelling, James just standing there not knowing what to do...me yelling at James and him doing his best to calm things down...but to no avail. I had ended things with him. I was almost 7 1/2 months pregnant with his baby and I had left him. The look on his face was the only thing my mind raced to. A look of hurt, confusion and pleading me to stay.

"Morning." Jordyn called "Would you like some breakfast?" I shook my head "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"We had dinner with my parents...they were not thrilled about me being pregnant. I snapped off at James and I ended things."

"Abby, why?"

"Why not, Jordyn? I'm kidding myself if I think Neal actually has intentions to marry me. So I'd rather leave with my dignity than wait around for a few more years and have him leave me and Ella."

"James wouldn't do that...you know he'll be there for you and Ella...and marriage? Really, Abby? You guys haven't dated for that long..."

"We have a child together!"

Jordyn sighed "Abby, I just think maybe you're overreacting."

"You're right. I should probably go call him and apologize."

"I think you should probably talk to him in person. He'll understand. Your hormones are all crazy right now."

"I'll call him and let him know we're on the way." I said dialing his number. It went directly to voicemail but I assumed he'd be home. The team meeting should've been over. Jordyn drove me to his place and pulled into the driveway. James' Ferrari was in the driveway, indicating that he was home.

"Do you want me to come in?" Jordyn asked. I nodded and we headed up to the door. I grabbed the hidden key from under a rock and let us in.

"James...can we..." I froze. Standing in James' kitchen was a blonde girl in one of James' shirts and her underwear.

"Callie, do you want me to get you a taxi or..." James froze. He was shirtless with just shorts on and his face blushed when he saw me "Abby, let me explain..." he started

I slapped him across the face "I came over here to apologize to you. To tell you I made a mistake and see if we can work things out, but it seems you made your decision clear that this...that us was never meant to be a serious thing. Fuck you, Neal!" I screamed, storming out his door.

"Abby...Abby wait!" James called following me

"No, James. It's clear to me now that I made the right decision. I'll call you when your daughter is going to be born and then we can decide what we are going to do about it." I slammed the door to Jordyn's car and she walked out of James' house giving him a look before getting in the car and driving off.

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