Confessions of An Ice Girl

James and I had just grabbed our Primanti's and headed back to my place. I could tell being out and about in the city made him uncomfortable. I looked across my table at James, holding Ella, and I sighed "James...I have to tell you something."

"What?"

"I didn't really meet someone. The someone was someone I already know."

"Oh?"

"I had sex with Bortz. Last night."

James gave me a confused look "You slept with Bortz?"

I nodded, "Yeah. I'm such an idiot..."

"You're not an idiot, Abby. Do you like him?"

"I don't know, James. It was kind of a one night stand kind of thing..."

James nodded, "I see."

"Are you mad?"

"Why would I be mad?"

"I don't know. He's your friend? Isn't that like against the bro code?"

"The bro code?" he laughed, "That's a bunch of bullshit. It doesn't bother me."

"Oh..."

"I'm serious. I mean, if you're okay with what happened, then it doesn't matter. Are you okay with it?"

"I mean, yeah...I..I don't know, James."

"If you like him, Abby, I'd say go for it. If that what you really want. Bortz is cool. I won't be angry with you, if that's what you're worried about..."

I shrugged, "I don't know...but thanks for your blessing..."

James half smiled and looked down at Ella. She had fallen asleep in his arms "Um...Abby where..."

"I'll take her to the crib." I said walking over to him. James carefully placed her in my arms and I took her to the crib, laying her inside before heading back to the living room "Do you have to go?"

"Not right away."

"So tell me more about this girl."

James half smiled, "Her name's Katy. She goes to the gym. She's nice. She's really smart. Works as a Vet assistant."

"That's great, James."

"Thanks. I should probably get going. It's a long way back to Nashville."

"You drove here?"

"No. I flew in and rented a car. So I have to meet the rental people at the airport to get the car."

"How are you getting back home?"

"Mike Ribiero is picking me up from the airport."

"Ah." I replied, looking down avoiding his gaze

"Abigail..."

"Yeah?"

"Look at me."

I looked up at him and his hand carefully grazed my cheek, "If you like Bortz, go for it. I promise you I am not angry about what happened. I will always care about you, Abby, cause we have Ella, but I...I've moved on." he stammered, as if he was trying to convince himself more than me.

"Do you mean that, James?"

He looked away, "I have to mean it."

"What does that mean..."

"It means that if I've moved on that leaving you won't hurt as much...moving on means, I can go out to dinner with some other girl and not wish I was with you..."

"I know."

"I'm sorry...I should get going." he said starting to walk out the door

"James..." I said grabbing his hand, without saying a word he kissed me. Our lips stayed locked for a few minutes before he slowly pulled away. "What was that for..."

"I've been wanting to do that since the minute I saw you again..."

"What about Katy?"

"She isn't you. She will never be you."

"James..."

He sighed, "I am in love with you, Abigail. I have been for a long ass time...and no matter what I do, I can't stop thinking about you. I want to be with you...but I can't ask you to move with me. I won't ask you to give up your life here for me in Nashville. That's why I need you to move on and be happy. So I can move on and be happy."

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, "Why can't you ask me..."

"Because that wouldn't be fair to you...you have a life here. I have to go, Abby. I have a flight to catch." he said kissing me on the cheek "I'll call you?" I just nodded "Bye, Abby."

Notes

Ahhhh!!!! It's been so long since my last update...things have been hectic. I hope to update more frequently. Hopefully there is still some people reading this...if you're still around, THANK-YOU!!!!