It Feels Like

There was a little place a few blocks away that had a private V.I.P. area in the back. They walked there and he ordered them a bottle of wine after they had settled on the loveseat. Keri was in a pair of jeans and a purple V-neck sweater that showed off her chest. He had a hard time not staring. Memories of the night he spent in her bed kept sneaking into his mind.

"I didn't mean to do that," she admitted, turning to face him.

"Do what?"

"Tell her I knew you."

Brad poured the wine into the two glasses they had been provided. "You didn't do anything wrong, Keri."

"But I'm not dating you."

"What are we doing, then?"

She sighed. "Dating."

Brad grinned and handed her a glass before clinking his against hers. "Good answer. I've been trying to get you to agree to that since I got back in town."

"I wouldn't have fought it if you weren't such an asshole in May."

He reached out and touched her hair, letting the tendrils fall through his fingers and back onto her shoulder. "What can I do to make it up to you?"

"Lasagna on Wednesday. Homemade."

He laughed. "You're going to go that easy on me? I make you lasagna for dinner and you'll let me kiss you again?"

"Maybe."

"Let's go get ingredients and I'll make it tonight"

She punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Don't push your luck. Is that woman really going to write about me?"

"Definitely. She's going to ask me about you at our practice tomorrow. What do you want me to say?" Despite the sorry state he'd been in when he'd met Keri, he'd had the upper hand all that time. He’d withheld knowledge from her for his own purposes. It was only fair she got to direct some of what was happening now.

Keri shrugged. "Do you have to say anything at all?"

He couldn't stop touch her hair. He wished she would let him kiss her. "I don't have to, but she'll keep asking until I do."

"I don't know. The truth? We've had a few dates."

"That's not really the whole truth."

She sighed and sat back on the loveseat. Brad threw his arm over her shoulder and pulled her closer to him. Her body fit perfectly with his. "I know," she said softly, but I don't know what to call this.

"I'll figure something out then. Finish your wine and I'll take you home. You have to work tomorrow, don't you?"

She nodded and looked up at him with her beautiful, hazel eyes. He was going to end up fibbing just a little bit and telling Stewart that he had a girlfriend. Maybe saying it would make it true.

*************************************************

He had taken her home and refrained from kissing her after the game. That didn’t mean he didn’t want to kiss her or go upstairs with her and see how much they could avoid sleeping while sharing her twin bed. He could still remember the way her body moved against his that night as she rode him.

Saturday he told Melissa Stewart with a straight and serious face that Keri Anglin was his girlfriend and they had been dating for several weeks, but had known each other for months. It was twisting the truth, but it was close enough to work. He wondered if Keri would be mad at him when she found out.

After practice, he went shopping for ingredients for the lasagna. Keri was in trouble because it was one of his favorite things to make. At seven o’clock, he picked her up and tried not to stare at the way the dark blue shirt dress rode up on her legs when she sat down in the passenger seat, or the way it fell open at her chest to reveal just the barest hint of cleavage, or the way the thin, white belt accentuated her little waist. Her hair was up in a messy bun with tendrils hanging down the back of her neck. She looked like she was ready for his bed.

She didn’t say anything about the news until they walked into his condo. She kicked off her shoes and leaned against the counter as he started the sauce. “Since when am I your girlfriend?”

Brad glanced over his shoulder to gage her mood by the look on her face. She didn’t look too pissed off. “Wishing thinking,” he said.

“Oh, yeah?”

“I figured if everyone else believed it, then you would start to. And then you’d let me kiss you.”

“Just kiss me?” The corners of her mouth were turned up in a small smile. The top of her dress was gaping open as she leaned on the counter, and he could see the lace edge of her light blue bra.

“You keep flashing the goods at me, then it’s definitely going to be more than just kissing,” he said, blatantly staring at her breasts.

Keri looked down and then clamped her hand over her chest, pressing the collar of her dress into her skin. “Oops, I didn’t realize I was giving you a show.”

He turned back to the sauce. “I bet you were just testing me.”

Her laughter made him smile. “You’re making it really hard for me to stay mad at you.”

“Good.” He turned around and walked over to her, placing his hands on her waist. She immediately put her hands over his. Brad gently pulled her over to the counter beside the stove and picked her up so she could sit on it. “This is a better view for me,” he explained, running his eyes down her body to settle on her thighs.

Keri crossed her legs, letting the dress ride up a bit further on the side closest to him. “You better pay attention to the sauce or you’ll burn it,” she said.

Turning around, Brad grabbed her glass of wine off the island and handed it to her. She accepted it and took a sip, watching over the rim. He couldn't help but lick his lips as he considered trying to kiss her. Maybe he should force her to make the first move tonight. Hopefully, his will power would hold out and hers wouldn’t. “I know what I’m doing,” he told her, adding a little sugar to the sauce and stirring it with a wooden spoon.

“I signed that contract yesterday before the game.”

Brad looked up at her. “Oh, yeah? Does this mean I can take you looking for apartments in Manhattan?”

“What if I like my tiny apartment in Brooklyn?”

“Since we’re an item now, I’m going to need you to get a bigger bed,” he replied, winking at her.

Keri threw her head back and laughed. He couldn’t help but smile. Maybe they would get back to a good place after what happened a few months back. Maybe she would forgive him. Maybe she thought he was worth the trouble of the hockey lifestyle, the traveling and stress. She’d met him at his lowest point and she was still here, sitting in his kitchen, watching him cook her dinner. That had to count for something since so many of the women he’d met were only interested when he was at the top of his game.

While he boiled the noodles, she talked to him about the contract and her plans for a line of casual menswear. He still had the shirt and the two pairs of pants she’d made him. He couldn’t wait to add more of her pieces to his wardrobe. Mostly because he just plain liked them, but partly because they came from her. From the woman who had given him more than any other woman, even when she didn’t know who he was.

While the pan of lasagna was in the oven, he cleaned up the kitchen. She tried to help him, but he forced her to sit on the counter and watch. Her bare feet were swinging back and forth as she followed his movements with her eyes. He grabbed her foot as he walked by. Her toenails were painted bright red. Brad smiled at her before lifting her foot up and kissing the top of it.

Giggling, she pulled her foot away. “I’m ticklish.”

“I’m filing that away for future use,” he replied, letting go of her foot and pulling her down from the counter. “Go have a seat and I’ll bring over a plate.”

“I’m looking forward to trying your lasagna. It smells delicious.”

“You promised you would forgive me if I made lasagna,” he reminded her.

Keri stuck the tip of her tongue out and scrunched her nose up. “I’ve forgiven you already.”

Brad reached forward and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close and pressing his lips to hers. She melted against him and opened her mouth to deepen the kiss. This is what he’d been missing. He’d spent most of the summer regretting the way he’d ended things with her. The regret ran so deep he hadn’t even gone out on a date or pulled out his little black book to call old flames. They wouldn’t compare to how she made him feel.

When he pulled back to suck in a breath, she dropped her forehead to rest on his shoulder. “You weren’t allowed to kiss me until we had lasagna.”

“Sorry,” he said, smiling down at her glossy brown hair.

***************************************

She cleaned her plate and sighed in contentment as she sat back in the chair. “That was amazing,” she told him. “I’m disgusted that you’re so multi-talented.”

Brad smiled at her as he picked up their plates and carried them into the kitchen. She trailed behind with her wine glass. He refilled it and poured the remainder of the bottle into this glass. If he kept her glass full, then maybe she wouldn’t leave. He’d been fearing her premature exit since they were halfway through dinner.

As he sipped at the red wine, he watched her wonder into the living area, running her fingertips over the back of his leather sofa. She was barefoot and looked comfortable in her little dress that ended a few inches above her knees. It looked less substantial than other dresses he’d seen her in. This one would come off easily, he thought. Just unbuckle the thin belt around her waist and pull the dress over her head. He’d already seen the edge of her powder blue bra.

As if approaching a skittish wild animal, he moved slowly and lowered himself to sit on one end of the sofa. She was over by the window now, looking out at the view. It was breathtaking, he knew, but he rarely ever stopped to enjoy it. Life was always too busy, moving too fast for him to take a moment and just be in one place. She made him want to slow down, to spend a night in instead of concocting some reason--some charity dinner or wine tasting or outing--to keep himself from realizing he had not much beyond hockey and what interests it allowed him to have.

Keri padded back across the room and stood in front of him, sipping at her wine. “I missed you all summer, you know,” she said softly.

He wanted to learn forward and pull her down on his lap, but he was afraid she would bolt. “I missed you, too. Even though you don’t think I did.”

“Yeah,” she said before turning her back and looking at the blank wall.

“I think you’re too good for me,” he admitted, his voice soft.

She turned around and leveled her heavy gaze on him. There was so much substance to her, it scared him. “Why would you say that?”

“Because it’s true.”

Keri sat her glass down on the low coffee table and moved closer. She lowered herself next to him on the sofa. Not at the far end, but right next to him. Close enough for him to feel her bare leg against his thigh. Yes, he thought, yes.

“I told you a long time ago that I thought you believed you weren’t worth the trouble. You really don’t think you’re worth it, do you?”

“I love what I do, but it can take a toll on you and people around you. I’ve seen it destroy relationships and families. It’s hard for me to accept that someone would want to put up with all the negatives for... for me.”

Her hand came up and touched his cheek. Brad closed his eyes and sighed. His heart was beating out of his chest, but he felt so calm about it. She could kill him right now and he’d die peaceful and happy.

“I’m pretty sure you’re worth it, secret agent Brad.”

He laughed under his breath, opening his eyes to look into her hazel ones. “Just Brad now,” he said, lifting a hand to place it over hers against his face.

“Okay, just Brad,” she replied with a grin.

He watched as she leaned in and lightly brushed her lips across his. His body was wound tight, but he restrained himself instead of jumping on her. She made another pass of her lips before sliding the hand on his cheek behind his head and kissing him for real.

Notes